flashback (4 years ago)
VALERIE HAD JUST FINISHED A LONG DAY IN the studio, her apartment silent except for the faint hum of the air conditioning. she was grateful for the quiet-something she rarely got growing up.
she had been living alone for a few months now, finally away from her mother's suffocating grasp. but the freedom was tainted by the constant calls. her mom would ring her phone at all hours, leaving long voicemails filled with promises: "i'm going to get better, valerie. i'm trying. you'll see. i just need to talk to you."
valerie never picked up. never called back.
so, when a knock echoed through her apartment, she didn't think much of it. maybe it was her neighbor borrowing sugar again.
but when she opened the door, her breath hitched.
her mother stood there, holding her purse tightly, a forced smile plastered on her face.
"what the fuck are you doing here?" valerie blurted, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. her heart was pounding, her body immediately on edge.
her mother's smile faltered, and her voice turned sharp. "watch your tone, young lady. i'm still your mother."
valerie crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. "oh, you stopped being my mother a long time ago."
her mother frowned, but instead of leaving, she pushed past valerie into the apartment, her heels clicking against the floor. valerie froze for a moment, too stunned to react, before spinning around.
"you can't just barge in here," she snapped.
her mom ignored her, glancing around the apartment with a critical eye. "you're doing well for yourself, i see," she said, her tone a mix of bitterness and fake sweetness. "this place is... nice."
valerie took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. "what do you want?"
her mother turned to face her, her expression softening into something almost vulnerable. "valerie, i'm here to apologize."
valerie blinked, caught off guard. "apologize?"
"yes," her mom said, taking a hesitant step closer. "i know i wasn't... the best parent to you. i know i hurt you. but i never wanted to be like this, baby. i never wanted to turn into my worst fear. i just-" her voice broke, and she looked away, as if she were ashamed.
valerie felt a flicker of something-sympathy?-but it was quickly drowned by suspicion. "so why now? after months of ignoring my boundaries, after years of treating me like i was nothing, why are you suddenly so sorry?"
her mother hesitated, wringing her hands. "because i want to get better. for you. i don't want to lose you, valerie."
valerie shook her head, her voice laced with disbelief. "you don't get to say that now. you didn't care when i was a kid, when i needed you. you only care now because you see me doing well."
"that's not true," her mom protested, her voice rising. "i've always loved you. i just... i made mistakes. i let my pain control me. but i can change. i want to change."
"you want to change?" valerie said bitterly. "you expect me to believe that? after everything?"
her mother's face hardened, the vulnerability slipping away. "what do you want me to say, valerie? that i'm struggling? that i don't have a job? that no one will hire me because of my past? is that what you want to hear?"
valerie's stomach twisted. "this isn't about me, is it? you're not here because you care. you're here because you want something."
"i don't want anything from you," her mom snapped, but her voice wavered. "i'm just trying to explain-"
"explain what?" valerie interrupted, her voice shaking with anger. "that you're broke? that you need money? because that's all this is, isn't it? you don't care about me. you care about what i can do for you."
her mom opened her mouth to argue but then closed it, her silence confirming everything valerie already knew.
valerie took a deep, steadying breath. "you need to leave."
"valerie-"
"leave," valerie repeated, her voice firm. "and don't come back. i'm done letting you into my life just for you to hurt me again."
her mom stared at her for a long moment, her expression unreadable. then, with a scoff, she grabbed her purse and stormed toward the door.
"fine," she said coldly. "but don't come crying to me when you realize you're all alone."
valerie didn't respond. she closed the door behind her mother and locked it, her hands trembling.
for the first time in her life, she felt like she'd truly stood up for herself. but as she leaned against the door, tears streaming down her face, it didn't feel like a victory. it felt like breaking all over again.