VALERIE SPRAWLED ACROSS HER bed, phone in one hand and a half-empty bag of chips in the other. her room was lit by the soft glow of string lights, and she'd had a long day, so it felt like the perfect time to unwind with her friends. as usual, the group chat had been buzzing non-stop, and now it was time for them all to show up.
the girls (and conan)
val - valerie wilson
livvie - olivia rodrigo
cone - conan gray
bri - sabrina carpenter
grace - gracie abrams
val
are you guys free?
can we have a sleepover pls
i miss uâ¹ï¸â¹ï¸
grace
uh yes pls.
i need an excuse to escape this songwriting slump.
livvie
say no more, i'm there.
cone
canceling all plans. what should i bring?
livvie
you dont even have plans but ok
bri
popcorn and face masks duh
val
ITS GIRRLLSSS NIGHHHTTTT
livvie
FUCK YEAH IT ISSSSS
valerie tossed her phone aside and got up, already half-expecting her friends to start piling in. the doorbell rang first, and gracie was the first to burst in, holding an absurdly large bag of popcorn. then olivia, sabrina, and finally conan, who barely fit through the door with the giant snack bags he was holding.
"we've got enough junk food for the apocalypse," conan said, grinning, as he set down his stuff. "i hope you've been eating all day, val."
"definitely not," she said with a laugh, then pointed at a smaller bag of chips. "i've been snacking, but it's nothing compared to this."
olivia gave her a mischievous smile. "okay, what's the plan tonight? i'm in the mood to make bad decisions."
"you mean good decisions, right?" gracie teased, dropping down on the floor next to valerie.
"no," olivia said, opening a container of food. "i want to write the dumbest song ever, something we won't show anyone but will get stuck in our heads for weeks."
"i'm intrigued," sabrina said, settling on the bed next to valerie.
gracie grinned. "yes. so dumb that it might actually be good. i'm in."
valerie raised an eyebrow. "dumber than the things we've already written? sounds like a challenge."
"exactly," olivia said, leaning forward with excitement. "it has to be something completely ridiculous. like, let's just manifest the most random collab possible."
valerie rolled her eyes dramatically, leaning back into her pillows. "oh, like with billie? yeah, we can write a song where we guess the color of someone's underwear. you know, super deep stuff like that."
conan raised his hand from across the room. "i'm in. you know i love a good challenge."
"okay, wait, are you saying that as a joke?" gracie asked. "because if you're not, i'll be very confused."
"oh, it's totally a joke," valerie said, laughing. "but if billie ever heard this song, it would be the most manifested collab ever."
everyone froze for a second, staring at her.
"wait," olivia said slowly, looking back at the group. "are you... actually trying to manifest a collab with billie by writing something so ridiculous?"
valerie smirked. "yeah. we're gonna make billie need to work with me. i'm practically begging for it with a song like this."
"please," sabrina said, leaning back dramatically. "we have to make sure she knows you've got potential."
"we'll make her crave the chance to collab with you," gracie added, and the whole room cracked up.
valerie sat up and grabbed her guitar from the side of the bed, plucking the strings to get the right tune. "okay, but the song's gotta have some chaos to it. i'm thinking a lot of ridiculous energy. you know, something likeâ'you wanna guess the color of my underwear, you wanna know what's going on down there'."
"no," conan said immediately. "yes," he corrected, getting up to grab valerie's ukulele from the corner. "this is happening."
valerie shook her head with a grin. "it's gonna be so dumb. but we're writing it like it's serious."
they all started brainstorming lines, making it worse and worse with each addition.
"try it, bite it, lick it, spit it," olivia sang dramatically, then stopped. "that's gotta go in there somewhere."
"wear them, post them, might remix it," gracie said, laughing so hard she almost choked.
"waitâhold up," valerie interrupted, still strumming her guitar. "what if we add in the line where she has to guess the color of my underwear?"
they all groaned at the idea, but conan was already strumming out the notes to match it.
they laughed, threw in some more lines, and kept the entire thing sillyâbut there was something about it that felt oddly catchy. the lyrics were absurd, yes, but everyone was vibing with it.
after a couple of hours, the song was as ridiculous as they could make it. it was still unfinished, but valerie felt like they'd done the impossible: made a song so crazy that she could actually see billie's face if she ever heard it.
"so," olivia said, breaking the silence, "we're gonna share this with billie, right?"
valerie raised an eyebrow. "hell no. she'd think we're insane."
"manifesting a collab," gracie teased.
"manifesting," valerie repeated, cracking a grin. "maybe one day she'll just pop up on my doorstep. 'hey, i heard you wrote a song about me guessing the color of your underwear, wanna collab?'"
"i can totally see that happening," conan added, strumming a random chord.
"if she actually shows up," sabrina said, laughing, "she'll probably want royalties."
valerie threw a pillow at her. "manifesting, remember? we're not showing this anywhere. it's just for us to laugh at."
the night wound down with more laughter, everyone exhausted from joking around and snacking. as they all began to get ready for bed, valerie couldn't help but feel a little lighter. it had felt good to act ridiculous with her friends. they truly were the reason she hadn't gone insane yet.