Chapter 54: Dr. Grant: Chapter 54

“You look beautiful,” Mom whispers as she helps me put on the diamond necklace Grandpa gave me to wear tonight. My gaze roams over my reflection in the mirror, taking in the stunning emerald green dress. It accentuates my every curve, and Noah would’ve loved seeing me in this.

I bite down on my lip as a fresh wave of crippling heartache washes over me. I let my eyes fall closed and inhale shakily, forcing him out of my thoughts.

“Are you all right, sweetheart?”

My eyes meet Mom’s in the mirror, and I force a smile onto my face. “I’m great. Wonderful.”

She raises her brow and sighs. “Don’t do this, Amara. If your heart isn’t in it, then don’t do it.”

I laugh, the sound harsh. “Be thankful and do your part,” I tell her. “That’s what you told me, isn’t it? Stop chasing foolish dreams.” I grit my teeth, trying my best to suppress the anger, the pain, the helplessness. “You were right, mother. I was foolish. I was dumb. I’m falling in line now. I’m doing my part. What more could you possibly want? How is this still not enough?”

She grabs my shoulders and gently turns me toward her. “I was wrong. I was bitter, and I was wrong, Amara. I realized how wrong I was when I saw how happy you were. I want that for you.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, and how did choosing happiness work out for you? You told me to learn from you, and I wish I had. I wish I hadn’t tried to chase after my own happiness — because that doesn’t exist, mother. It isn’t real. Love isn’t real, and it isn’t worth it.”

She looks me in the eye, her expression unnerving. “If love isn’t real, then why are you sacrificing everything for Noah? Why are you throwing away everything you worked for? Did you think I wouldn’t find out about your deal with Grandpa? Your company and an engagement in return for Noah’s freedom and a guaranteed prosperous career path.”

I look away, facing the mirror instead. I lean in to touch up my lipstick, trying my best to hide how badly my hands are shaking. “You’re wrong,” I tell her. “I was just tired of the company, the continuous struggle, the failure. Besides, Gregory is a nice guy. He’ll never hurt me. I’ll have a good life with him.”

Mom’s eyes meet mine in the mirror, her expression so tense that I can’t hold her gaze. “He won’t hurt you because you’ll never let him close enough. He’ll never have your heart. That’s no way to live, Amara. I wonder… what do you see when you look in the mirror? Because when I look at you, it’s not my daughter I see. Not anymore. Don’t lose sight of who you are. Don’t let pain jade you and guide you into making choices you can’t undo.”

She shakes her head and walks away, pausing to look at me when she reaches the door. I stare at her through the mirror, seeing vulnerability in her expression that’s never been there before. “Don’t become like me, Amara.”

She walks out of the room, closing the door behind her. Her words haunt me for the rest of the night. With every person walking up to me to congratulate me, my anxiety increases, but it’s too late now. Noah wants nothing to do with me, and even if he did, my grandfather won’t let him near me — not without taking his future in return.

“Dance with me,” Gregory says, his hand wrapping around mine. I instinctively recoil, the way I have for weeks now. It’s subtle, but it doesn’t escape his notice. His smile drops just a fraction, and I instantly feel guilty. He wraps his arms around me, his eyes on mine. “It might take months, or it might take years. But one day, you’ll look at me the way you used to. I know that you’ll never look at me the way you looked at him, Amara. I know that, but in time, you and I will be happy together.”

“Content,” I whisper. “We’ll be content, the way we were before. You never loved me either, not truly. You might think you did, but I doubt you’ve ever actually been in love.”

He twirls me around on the dance floor before pulling me back to him. The way he looks straight past me… the longing, the regret. It’s an expression I know all too well. It’s one I’ve seen in the mirror every single day since Noah walked out on us. “You have,” I murmur. “You have been in love.”

He snaps out of his thoughts and looks at me, smiling grimly. “Aren’t you going to ask me who she is?”

I blink, realization dawning. I should care. I should at least care that the man I’m marrying loves someone else, but all I feel is relief.

“How did he get in?” Gregory says, his voice laced with anger. He lets go of me, and I turn around, my heart racing. There’s only one man that could possibly anger Gregory tonight.

It’s him.

Noah stands by the entrance, his eyes on me. He walks toward me with such confidence that the crowd instinctively parts for him. His steps are slow and sure, his eyes never leaving mine. Noah pauses in front of me, rendering me speechless for a single second before I spring into action, signaling the guards to have him escorted out of the room. Instead of obeying my silent commands, every single guard looks down at their shoes, ignoring my request.

“Amara,” Noah says, his voice laced with the same pain I feel.

“No,” I say, cutting him off before he has a chance to say anything else. “Leave.”

He smiles. He has the gall to smile at me after showing up here uninvited, today of all days. “I will, if you come with me.”

I look around, finding everyone staring at us with undisguised interest. “I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but this is my engagement party. You need to leave.”

Noah’s smile melts off his face, and he nods. “You look beautiful,” he says, his eyes roaming over my body. He grits his teeth, and when his eyes move back up to mine, they’re filled with jealousy and pain. I instantly want to tell him it’s not what he thinks, that Gregory hasn’t touched me, but I resist.

“I love you,” he says, his words loud enough to elicit gasps from the people surrounding us. “There’s a lot I don’t know, Amara. I don’t know what our future will look like. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give you the live you could have with Gregory. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look your father in the eye without thinking of mine. I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough for you. There’s a lot I don’t know, Amara… but I know that I love you. I know that I always will. I know I’ll never give up on us, and every single day for the rest of our lives, I’ll prove that to you if you’ll let me.”

Noah sinks down to his knees, and my eyes widen when he takes a diamond engagement ring out of his suit jacket. “I’ve been crazy about you from the second you walked into my office, Amara. Every interaction with you since then resulted in you stealing another piece of my heart. I didn’t even realize my battered heart was capable of love, but before I knew it I was so in love with you I couldn’t see a life without you. I still can’t, Amara. I tried, and I can tell you with full certainty that a life without you in it isn’t a life worth living. And that’s exactly what we should do, Amara. We should live.”

The way he looks at me, the sincerity in his eyes… I want to believe him, but I can’t. Not when I know what he went through. What my family took from him, once in the past, and then all over again recently.

“I can’t promise you that it’ll be easy, because I don’t think it will be. It’ll be hard, my love. There’s a lot we’ll need to overcome. The odds are stacked against us, and you and I… we have some healing to do. It won’t be perfect, and at times it might not be pretty, but you and I can get through anything if we’re together. Every day for the rest of my life, I’ll choose you. I’ll choose you over the past, the pain, the loss. I’ll choose you, and I’ll continue to put you and our happiness first. So please, Amara Astor, will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you give me a chance to prove my words? Will you marry me?”

I look up, finding Grandpa standing beside us, his hand on Gregory’s shoulder, as though he’s holding him back. Grandpa nods at me, a sweet smile on his face.

“No,” I say, my voice breaking. “No, Noah.”