My eyes drift over his scarred wrists, my anger at war with the sympathy I feel. Peter seems nervous, and heâs yet to look me in the eye. Instead, heâs staring at his coffee cup.
I asked to meet him at a coffee shop close to my clinic. I figured meeting at neutral grounds would be best for both of us.
âIâm in love with your daughter,â I tell him. He finally looks up, a spark of hope in his otherwise defeated expression. âMy love for her is greater than the pain you caused. Amara cares about you. She wants you in her life. In our life.â
I run a hand through my hair, hesitating. âSo hereâs what weâre going to do. Youâre going to say what you need to, and so will I. After that, we leave the past where it belongs as best as we can. That doesnât mean we wonât remember my parents. It means that we leave behind the blame and embrace the good memories. Weâll remember their lives, not their deaths. My sister has shown tremendous grace in forgiving you, and Iâm going to try to follow her example. Sheâs reminded me over and over again that you served your sentence, and Iâll try to remember that.â
âIâm sorry,â he says, a tremor in his voice. âI never intended to hurt anyone. I didnât go in armed, and I didnât expect your parents to be home. I just wanted some food for my family, some clothes, and school supplies for Amara. Iâd lost my job and I couldnât even feed my family. Charlotte refused to ask her father for help, and I was desperate. It doesnât excuse anything, not even remotely⦠but I need you to know that it was an accident. Your parents came home suddenly, and when your father pointed that gun at me, I panicked. We fought, and I made the biggest mistake Iâve ever made. I see them every time I close my eyes. I will never forget your parents, Noah. Iâll never stop paying for the crimes I committed. I will continue to pay in whatever way you need me to, but please donât let it affect my daughter.â
He looks down at his hands, desperation written all over his face. âI wonât,â I promise. âI wouldnât be sitting opposite you right now if I didnât mean that. I lost my father, and Amara almost lost hers.â My eyes fall to his wrists, the scars still raised months later. âI wonât ever get to speak to my father again. Heâll never get to meet my wife, or my children. Heâll never spoil his grandchildren â but you can. You will. You owe it to my sister and me.â
I wrap my hand around his wrist, and he stiffens. âThis,â I tell him, âCan never happen again. I wonât have Amara live the rest of her life without a father.â
I pull away and cross my arms. Peter looks away, but not in time to hide the tears in his eyes. âI proposed to her, you know?â His eyes widen, and I nod. âI proposed to her three months ago with my motherâs engagement ring. Crashed her engagement party to do it.â
I smile to myself, remembering the way I found the ring lying on the floor shortly after I asked for a sign. To this day, I donât know if it was mere coincidence, but I donât think it is.
âAmara said no. Sheâs said no every single time Iâve proposed since then. Three times in total. Itâs not because she doesnât love me, nor is it because she doesnât want to spend her life with me. Itâs because she loves you too. She wants you to be part of our life, of our wedding, and she thinks she canât have that. She thinks she canât have both of us. Itâs up to us to prove her wrong.â
He nods, and for the first time since he sat down, thereâs some life in his eyes, a hint of determination, passion. âWe both love her, and I know my parents would have too. I was once told that life is for the living, and itâs true. You and I⦠weâre here. Weâre lucky enough to be here, to be loved by a woman as special as Amara. She forgave you for all you did, and she puts up with all my flaws. She makes me want to be a better man, so here I am, trying to be the man she thinks I am. I wonât forgive you, but I wonât hold the past against you. My sister is right to say you served your sentence, and I do believe you continue to pay, that the memories continue to haunt you. I wonât punish you further, not at the expense of the woman I love â but I ask for one thing in return, Peter.â
He straightens in his seat and nods. âAnything.â
I nod and smile. I never thought Iâd sit across the man that caused my parentsâ death, smiling. Yet here I am. I donât feel the resentment I used to feel. Time doesnât heal, but it dulls the pain. My priorities have shifted. I no longer want to live in pain and misery. I donât want to live in the past. Not when it could cost me my future with the woman I love.