Time moves too fucking slow. The drive back to Sebastianâs place⦠every fucking roll of the tire is too goddamn slow.
If it werenât for the knowledge that I can pull the video feed from the security cameras on the property, evidence that will lead me to her, I wouldnât own a shred of sanity any longer. The phone in my hand is closer and closer to breaking as I bound up the steps and the anxiety grows. Itâs been in danger of breaking since the moment I first heard that Aria was missing. In danger of being splintered and thrown however far I could just to release the tension and pain still rippling inside of me at the thought of losing her.
âWhere are the monitors?â I donât hide the anger in my tone the second the door is ripped open wide, Jase beside me, his footsteps barely keeping up with mine.
Before I can even scream at whoeverâs in here to get me the fucking tapes, I nearly trip over something on the floor. Stumbling forward, I barely catch myself. Eli. Fuck!
My throat closes and a sickness shoots through me. I canât help but reach to his throat and press my fingers against his icy skin. Even though heâs cold, I still hope for a pulse. One second passes, and it hurts. Another second with nothing, and I canât fucking stand the cost of waging war. A war I choose to fight. All for her.
Heâs gone.
His eyes are closed and his blood is pooled around him. Jase has to step in a bit of blood to get around me and the bright red is smeared across the floor. We share a look as a few of our men come in behind us.
âGet him home.â I give the command evenly, not revealing a shred of the emotions Iâm feeling.
Control.
Eli dying is a reminder that I need control now more than anything. He will be missed and he will be mourned, but even he would tell me to focus on revenge right now.
âSheâs outside,â Jase says and at first I donât understand what heâs talking about until I turn to look over my shoulder. With the wind sweeping her locks off her shoulders and showing more of her skin, Aria glances at me.
Sheâs here. Sheâs safe. Relief is all-consuming for the briefest of moments.
I have her.
Those beautiful hazel-green eyes of hers swirl with a mix of pain and regret. Not the relief Iâve been envisioning since I was told she was gone.
âSheâs here.â The words leave me without consent, buried under my breath as I slowly stand.
âCarter.â Danielâs voice carries across the hall as I make my way to them. He steps in front of her, but I still see her face, not daring to break her gaze as my pace picks up.
âWhere were you?â Iâm only half aware of how hard my voice comes out and that it echoes in the hall. My heart thuds painfully in my chest as I brush Daniel aside to get to her, gripping Aria by her shoulder to pull her inside and slam the door closed.
Her feet donât move fast enough, but I couldnât care less. What the fuck is she thinking? Having the door open is welcoming danger.
âWhat the fuck were you thinking?â I say, and the words come out with a vengeance. Hating that sheâd put herself in danger and be so fucking stupid.
âGet off,â she says as she pushes me away. In front of everyone, she looks back at me wild eyed and as if Iâm the enemy. Like Iâm the one whoâs to blame for every ounce of turmoil that wreaks havoc inside of me.
A numbness flows through me as I regard her, all while she regards everyone else.
She wraps her arms around her shoulders and glances at my men behind me. Itâs then that I see whatâs captured her attention. The blood. Itâs everywhere. Soaked into the knees of their pants where they crouched on the floor and waited for more men to kill. Splattered on their shirts. My gaze falls to my own hands, stained with the blood of her family.
âI wasnât runningâ¦â Aria barely gets the words out before she stops and audibly swallows.
She doesnât run to me. She doesnât try to hold me. She glances at Eli and then pales.
As I look to my brother, the men behind me, and then to Addison slowly climbing down the stairs, the reality hits me.
Sheâs still the enemy. Sheâs not on my side. No matter how much I wish she were. This war will break us.
Ariaâs gaze travels the length of my suit, inventorying every bit of blood thatâs sprayed and spattered across it. Blood from men Iâve just killed.
I wish I knew what she was thinking. I wish I knew what to do.
Wrapping her arms tighter around herself, she looks at me with the silence surrounding us, suffocating us.
The only noise is the creaking of the stairs as Addison sneaks closer to Daniel.
âI wasnât running,â she repeats. It sounds as if she regrets her words.
I donât know whether or not to believe her, but I know the feeling that seeps into my veins. Betrayal. And it comes from the woman I love, in the heart of war, in front of my brothers and army.
She left me once, and sheâd do it again.
I imagined when I saw her, that she would run to me. That she would cling to me the same way I wish to cling to her.
The cold actuality is harsh and indisputable.
Sheâs still a mistake â a drug Iâm addicted to thatâs fucking up everything Iâve worked so hard for almost my entire life. Iâve never seen it more clearly than I do now.
If I didnât feel all of this for her, for a woman who chooses her family over mine, it would be all too easy. But why would she ever choose my family over hers? I donât know how I fell in love with her. It was nothing but a mistake.
Itâs in this moment I remember who I am.
A ruthless man with plans on tearing everything away from Ariaâs life, all because of who her father is and what destroying him does to her.
This isnât what I expected. I wanted to be her savior, her knight. But all I am is the fucking villain.
Iâm as dead inside as I ever have been. And itâs because of her. All of this bullshit is because of her. No, itâs because I wanted her so badly I was willing to wage war, consequences be damned. Eli died, because of me.
âWhoever tried to take them knew her father was hitting us tonight.â I speak loud enough for everyone to hear and leave Aria standing where she is.
A slow tide of agony fills my gut and rises higher until I taste bile in my throat. âI want to see the security feed, now.â Two men run off, heading for the stairwell that leads down to the basement.
âIs the house secure?â I ask Daniel and he hesitates to answer me, his eyes narrowing as he glances between Aria and me.
His gaze speaks a thousand words, most of them begging for me not to be the man I was forced to become, but Iâm the one who had to bear that burden, not him. He has Addison.
I have no one. Not until Aria has no one left but me. And even thenâ¦
Finally, he nods. âItâs secure to return but itâll take weeks to repair, or longer.â
âAll men back there,â I tell him and then look Jase and the other men in the eyes. âFix the mess her father caused.â