Chapter 6: That Love: Chapter 5

I have twenty-seven missed calls, numerous voicemails, and a litany of texts from Troy when I wake up. I listen to the first voice mail and can tell that he was drunk. Again. I delete the rest. I’m not going to deal with it. I send a quick text to his manager, letting him know that I am not getting back together with him and that he needs to get Troy to rehab fast. That he’ll self-destruct otherwise.

My phone buzzes in my hand, only this text is not Jason replying.

My phone immediately rings.

“I sound like a stalker when I text you,” he says when I answer. “I have a few minutes before I have to leave, and I was wondering …”

“Don’t waste time talking, Danny. Get your ass up here,” I say, hanging up, jumping out of bed, and running to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Thankfully, I always take my makeup off before bed, so I don’t look like a complete mess. Well, except for my hair. But who cares.

I’m spitting out toothpaste when I hear a knock. I drop the toothbrush, wipe my mouth with the towel, and race to the door.

“You’re not naked this time,” he says, giving me a once-over. “But I don’t mind at all.”

I glance down at the skimpy nightie I’m wearing. One that Jadyn bought. “I was in bed when you called.” His eyes wander in that direction along with my mind. “When exactly do you have to leave?”

He reaches out and touches my shoulder, gliding his hand across it and down my arm. Shivers race up my spine.

“Do you have plans for tonight?”

I glance at the bed again. I can’t help it. I swear, I can’t think when this man touches me. I couldn’t back then, and I can’t now.

“Um,” I stutter.

“I’ll be home from practice around five. I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me.”

“More pizza with the family?” I ask.

He doesn’t reply, just lets his fingers skip to the skinny strap of my nightie, teasing me. He lets go of the strap, moving his hand to my face.

He briefly presses his lips against mine, and then he’s gone.

I touch my lips, wanting to hold the kiss in. When I hear the door shut, I rush to the window so that I can watch him walk away.

Phillip and Jadyn come out the front door, dressed for a run, as Danny comes around the corner of the house and across their driveway. He stops and talks to Jadyn. I’m not sure what they are talking about, but he glances toward my window as the conversation appears to get heated with Jadyn gesturing big. Danny soon throws his hands up into the air and walks off, getting into his car and leaving.

Jadyn turns to Phillip and appears to be ranting. He grabs her face in his hands and kisses her, very effectively shutting her up. When he stops kissing her, she grins at him and then swats his butt, and they take off on their run.

I move away from the window and sigh dreamily at their display of affection.

But then I wonder if they were arguing about me.

And I probably shouldn’t, but I keep thinking about Dani and how she was crying last night. I put on some clothes, twirl my hair up into a bun, traipse over to their house, and ring the bell.

It’s then that I realize it’s early, and she’s probably still sleeping it off. I’m surprised when she quickly answers the door.

“Hey,” she says, letting me in.

“Hi. I, um, look, I know you don’t know me.”

“You hugged me last night and whispered sweet things to me,” she says. “Thank you.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up.”

“My dad slept on the floor of my room last night. He was worried about me. And mad.”

“You scared him,” I reply. “And lied. It felt like a slap in the face to him. Especially with some of the things you were saying.”

“That no one loves me?”

“Yeah.”

“I know my dad loves me. It’s just … the divorce and cheer and school. Sometimes, I feel like a big loser. And tonight is homecoming, and I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

“Well, that’s the reason I’m here. Are you grounded?”

“For three weeks or until the end of my life, whichever comes first,” she says in the dramatic way only teens can. “Dad woke me up before he left to let me know that. He was nice and made if effective starting Sunday, so I could still go to the dance. Part of me wishes I were grounded tonight, so I wouldn’t have to go.”

“Why don’t I make some breakfast, and we can talk about it?”

“You like my dad, don’t you?” she asks.

“Um, yeah, I do. But I don’t know if he likes me back.”

She rolls her eyes again as we walk into the kitchen. “Boys.”

“Tell me about it,” I tease as I open the fridge to survey its contents. “But I’m not here because of that. Last night, the things you were crying about. I felt your despair. And I’ve been there. My parents got divorced when I was young. It was rough.”

“Really? All my friends act like it’s no big deal. But it is. Everything in my life is changing all at the same time, and sometimes, I feel like I can barely deal, you know? First, I make varsity. There were parents who got all pissed off. Acted like I only made it because of my last name. They bring judges in who don’t know our names, only our numbers. Our tryouts are judged like a competitive event. Top scores make the first team, and second set makes JV. I’ve taken gymnastic classes and been cheering competitively most of my life. I’m the best tumbler on the squad. But there was all sorts of drama. And half of the seniors hate me because a couple of their friends didn’t make it this year.”

She stops to take a breath when I hold up my finger.

“Waffles, pancakes, or French toast?” I ask. “There’s cinnamon bread in the pantry. I’d vote for the toast.”

“That sounds really good,” she says. “Is there bacon? And do you want me to help you?”

“No. You keep talking. I’ll listen and cook.”

“So then,” she says, apparently agreeing, “my parents decided to get a divorce. Of course, I’m not allowed to tell anyone about it yet, which sucks. Dad doesn’t want the media stuff that will follow. I mean, we’re the perfect family.”

“Do you not like that?”

“I’m not perfect.” Her phone buzzes again. It’s been buzzing off and on since I arrived.

“Do you need to get that?”

She picks up her phone, glances at it, and then sets it back down. “I can’t deal with it right now. Last night was such a disaster. The thing is, I didn’t lie to my dad. I did go to the sleepover. A few guys crashed the party. Next thing I know, there were a whole lot of people there. Then, there was drama because of this guy.”

“The quarterback? What’s his name?”

“It’s Dalton.” She gives me a wry smile. “He’s really cute and a senior; it’s hard not to like the attention.”

I’m dipping toast into an egg wash when it suddenly hits me, how hard parenting is. “Um, Dani, here’s the thing. You don’t date a guy for the attention.” But then I think about myself. “Yet I did it myself.”

“With who?”

“Troy. He showered me with attention when we first met. He was handsome. A freaking rock star. It was flattering.”

“Yeah, but you are an actress. You’re famous, too,” she counters.

“To you, I might be. In my head, I’m still a tomboy with big lips. My dad was an alcoholic and not the best influence on my life. I get wanting attention for attention’s sake. Some of us seek it. But it always seems to come at a price.”

“Like Amsterdam?”

“Yes, exactly.” I put some bacon in a pan to fry while I pour a little batter on the stove’s griddle to see if it’s hot enough yet. I take a sort of perverse pleasure out of getting this spotless stove dirty. “There’s a difference between liking someone because of the attention you get as a couple versus liking someone because he’s an awesome guy who treats you well.”

“My dad treated my mother well. He was also so patient with her, even when she was a bitch, but she still left him.” She puts her head down and traces her finger on the counter. “I’m pretty sure my mom had an affair with Richard. And it bothers me that no one will just tell the truth.”

“Maybe they think you’re not old enough for the truth. What makes you think they were having an affair?”

“Because her story doesn’t add up. She told us she met Richard—he’s her plastic surgeon—and they became friends. She says they just had this attraction, and she couldn’t stop thinking about him. That life is too short to live without that kind of love.”

What she says makes my heart hurt, knowing that I could have given her father that kind of life. “I agree with your mother on that,” I say as I flip the bacon and start cooking the French toast.

“Except she just decided to up and leave my dad after fifteen years because she couldn’t stop thinking about some guy? Who does that? Plus, she moved right in with him. If they were just getting to know each other, she would have gotten her own place. There’s a photo of them together, kissing, at their house. Her hair is colored in a way it was before they separated. So, something was obviously going on.”

“Does it really matter?” I ask her.

“Yes, it does. Because, eventually, it’s all going to come out in the press. And then my friends will hear about it. Really, I’m shocked my parents have managed to keep it a secret for as long as they have.”

“Doesn’t your best friend live next door?” I ask gently.

She’s yet to bring up her fight with Chase.

“He’s like my dad! He doesn’t want me to grow up either. And he’s just jealous because of Dalton.”

“Because Chase likes you?”

“It’s not like that. I mean, it’s sort of like that, but we’re friends. He’s my best friend—well, my best friend.”

“He rescued you from the party last night. It was obvious that you had him scared. And you were going to get in a car with someone who had been drinking a lot.” I get the syrup out, load French toast and bacon onto two plates, then set them on the bar and sit down next to her.

“This looks really good,” she says, digging in.

“You feeling okay this morning?”

“Yeah, Dad said the one good thing about last night was that I puked. Although I owe Auntie Jay and Uncle Phillip apologies, too. And probably everyone else in my life, who I don’t want to face.” She points to her phone, looking forlorn. “He hasn’t texted me. He always texts me.”

“Dalton?”

She shakes her head. “No, Chase. And I know he’s up because my brother was texting me to find out how much trouble I got into. Telling me that he’s mad at me because he and Chase were supposed to go to some eighth grade girl’s spin-the-bottle party tonight, and I ruined everything. Chase must have gotten grounded.”

“Well, he did sneak out of the house and was going to steal his dad’s car. He looked pretty distraught last night.” I wave my fork. “Especially when you said you hated him.”

She lets out another sigh. “I’m supposed to go to the spa today. Would you want to come with me?”

“I thought Jadyn was going?”

“I was thinking maybe you could tell her that you wanted to go instead?”

“Chicken,” I tease.

“Totally,” she agrees, smiling at me.

“When you do that, you look like your dad.”

“When I smile? Yeah, everyone says that.”

“How did you end up with Dani as your nickname?” I blurt out something I’ve been wondering since I got here.

“When Chase tried to say Devaney when he was little, it came out as Dani. He and pretty much everyone but my parents have called me that since.” She lets out another dramatic sigh, probably thinking about how she treated Chase last night. “So, what do you think?” she asks as her phone buzzes again and again.

“I’ll go with you. But only if you don’t take the phone.” She nods her head, but then I say, “And you go apologize to the Mackenzies first.

of them.”

“Never mind,” she mutters.

“What time do your appointments start?”

“Eleven.”

I glance at the clock on the microwave. “That means we have about an hour to fix things.” I take her phone off the counter and hand it to her. “Read them to me. I’ll help.”

She takes a last bite of toast and pushes her plate aside.

“Okay. Be brave, Devaney,” she says to herself as she starts scrolling. “First up is the cheer captain. It’s a group text to the squad. She’s freaking out that she’s going to get kicked off the squad because the cops showed up at the party. And she’s mad at the two girls who started the party to begin with.”

“Was she drinking?”

“No, she was freaking out the whole time, trying to get people to leave. Her parents were due home in a few hours. She’s also basically grounded for life.”

“Do they expect you to reply to the group text? Did they mention your name?”

“No.”

“Then you don’t need to reply. If your cheer coach asks on Monday about the party, tell her the truth about who invited the guys and how it got out of control. It’s shitty, what her friends did to her.”

“I can do that. Hmm. I have some other random texts from people about the party. Mostly from people who weren’t there, wanting to know if the rumors are true.” She keeps scrolling, and her phone keeps vibrating. “Oh, no.”

“What?”

“Apparently, the cheer coach found out and called everyone’s parents. Everyone is getting grounded and …

… Dalton’s date just sent a text in big bold letters, saying that she’s grounded and that her parents won’t let her go to the dance tonight.”

“And has Dalton texted you?”

“Yeah. He broke his hand. His throwing hand. He’ll be out for the rest of the season. Idiot.”

“Idiot?”

She rolls her eyes. “Or I’m probably the idiot.”

“Maybe you should tell Chase that.”

“He offered to take me to Paris today,” she says dreamily. “When he found out my mom had bailed on me.”

“We’d probably have a much better time at the spa if you apologized to him first. Why don’t I clean up while you go over there?”

“Okay,” she says, rushing toward the door. She stops, turns around, and flashes a smile in my direction. “Thanks, Jennifer.”

I was pissed off when I left for work, mostly because I knew Jadyn was right. And I hate that.

On the way home from practice, I call Marcus, a former offensive lineman who retired after we won our second ring together, to get a second opinion.

“What’s up, my man?” he asks. “My wife and I are dressing as superheroes for the party at the Mackenzies’ tomorrow. I’m the Incredible Hulk. How about you?”

“I’m going as a professional football player,” I say dryly. “That’s not why I called though. I need some advice.”

“Lord have mercy, tell me it’s about a woman,” he practically squeals. “Who is she?”

“Lori and I have agreed verbally on everything. Wednesday, we meet to sign those documents and submit them to the court.”

“Thank goodness. Knowing this secret for months has been killing me.”

“Whatever. Anyway, there’s this girl I asked out for dinner tonight. But Jadyn told me I shouldn’t take her down to the Plaza because, if people saw us together, rumors would start. People would think I was cheating on my wife. It’d be a mess. Plus, she’s kind of famous, too.”

“Is it Jennifer Edwards? Holy shit, dude. I heard she was staying at the Mackenzies’.”

“Yes, it is. Now, I don’t know what to do. I promised to take her out.”

“If I were dating that fine woman, all I’d want to do is stay in—her,” he says, with a laugh.

“So, you think Jadyn is right?” I ask, ignoring the sexual comment.

“Yeah. Order food. Set it all up pretty in the dining room. Serve her dinner, .”

“I was thinking maybe a picnic in front of the fireplace. There’s a chance of snow tonight.”

“That’d be good, too. As long as you’re naked.”

“You don’t think Jennifer will think it’s lame? We haven’t seen each other for years. I can’t meet her at the door, naked. I just don’t want her to think staying in is boring.”

“I would hope, if you’re naked, boredom wouldn’t be an issue,” he says with a laugh. “But I get what you’re saying. So, definitely set it up pretty in the dining room. Make it feel special, and it will be. Get her some flowers. Remember all that stuff you used to have to do in order to get laid?”

“Like buy diamonds?” I quip.

“I’m not referring to your soon-to-be ex-wife. I’m talking about you were married.”

“I’m pretty sure I just smiled in a girl’s direction back then.”

“Figures. You’ve always been a pretty boy.” He starts talking in a singsong voice, “I have your underwear ads taped up in my gym. Hashtag goals.”

“Very funny.”

“You want to see funny? If you aren’t careful, I might just steal that Jennifer away from you.”

“Somehow, I don’t think Madison, your wife, will allow that.” I chuckle.

“No, you’re right. That woman still has me wrapped around her little finger. Not to mention, she looks damn fine dressed as Wonder Woman. Hoping to get her to wear the costume to bed. See you tomorrow.”

I hang up and immediately call the restaurant where I wanted to take Jennifer. It’s a barbecue joint, but it’s a nice place. Plus, they have cheesy corn worth splurging on. I order food and then stop to pick up flowers and champagne. When I’m at the floral shop, I realize the last time I was here was the day Lori told me she wanted a divorce.

“It’s good to see you, Mr. Diamond. Usually, your wife comes to pick up your order. It’s so sweet that you buy her flowers every week.”

The florist goes back to a cooler and brings me a container full of the flowers I always got for Lori, and I realize that Lori has been sending herself the same flowers every week since then, probably to keep up appearances.

No freaking way will I be taking those flowers home.

“What do you have that’s a little different?” I ask.

“Well, with Halloween parties and homecoming tonight, we’ve been mostly focused on that. Lots of mums and fall colors. Your wife prefers more exotic blooms.”

“Can I see what my options are?”

“Sure,” she says, leading me into a huge cooler. “Take your pick.”

“These,” I say, pointing to a container of roses. “A couple dozen.” I walk back out and see all sorts of fun Halloween decorations lying on a worktable. “Can you include some of this stuff, too? I want it fun and gaudy. Something my wife wouldn’t like.”

“Uh, sure,” she says, looking perplexed. “Give me a few minutes.”

About twenty minutes later, she comes back out with a large container. “I covered it all up. You’ll have to wait to see it until you give it to her. If your wife hates it, please don’t mention where you got it.”

“It’s not for my wife,” I say, causing her to look aghast. “Uh, they are for my neighbor, Jadyn Mackenzie. She and Phillip are having a Halloween party.”

“Oh! You should have told me that. Wait! I’ll be right back.” Ten minutes later, she comes back with an even bigger wrapped vase with orange and black balloons filled with glitter trailing behind it.

“It’s a masterpiece,” she says. “Have you picked out your costume yet?”

“No. Any ideas?”

“It’s funny really. So many kids in Kansas City want to be you for Halloween. What did you want to be when you were growing up?” she asks.

“A football player,’ I reply without hesitation as we finish our transaction.

But as I’m driving home with the vase buckled into the front seat next to me, what she said is on my mind.

Always a football player. But I wanted more than that. I wanted a big life. A fun life. I wanted to live a rap video. Popping bottles, tossing hundreds at the strip club. Driving a Ferrari. Or even better, a jacked-up custom pickup truck. I wanted a girl who loved me. Who wanted to go on adventures with me.

I remember, years ago, seeing the viral video of Jennifer Edward’s stripper fail. I loved that she was wild and crazy but that she seemed really grounded. She’s changed though. I guess I have, too. Both of us morphed into different versions of ourselves because of our relationships. The crazy thing is, I didn’t realize it was happening.

Last year, when Lori’s family came for Christmas, her younger sister said that she was having trouble meeting a good man. She wondered why she couldn’t find one like me.

Lori laughed haughtily and said, Now, I feel lost. Stuck between what I’ve become and what I once was.

I run the rest of my errands, go home, and get everything prepped.

I take the arrangement, removing the balloons, and sneak them over to Jennifer’s room. Thankfully, she’s not there. I use a scrap of paper from Jadyn’s desk to make a card and write Jennifer a note.

I’m not sure where Jennifer is, but I need to talk to Jadyn, so I give her a quick call. “Hey, you home?”

“Not yet. The Nebraska game is on soon, so I ran to the store to get some stuff for snacks. I just pulled into the subdivision.”

“Is Jennifer with you?”

“No, she went to the spa with Devaney.”

“How did that happen?” I ask in shock.

“Why don’t I tell you when I get there?”

A few moments later, she’s pulling into the driveway. Instead of going into the garage like usual, she turns off the engine and pops out.

“You leaving again?” I ask.

“No, Chase is turning the garage into his own private dance room.”

“What for?”

“A lot has happened since you left this morning. Jennifer went over to your house to check on Dani. They apparently had a really good breakfast and a really good talk. While Jenn was cleaning up, Dani came over and apologized to Chase. They made up—thank goodness—and even though you told her she could still go to the dance, she decided not to. Chase and Damon were supposed to go to a birthday party tonight. Chase can’t go because he is grounded, but he would have bailed anyway. He’s creating a dance for Dani; he even bought her flowers.”

I scratch my head. The thought of someone doing something like that for my baby makes me crazy. Because I know exactly boys do romantic shit. The same reason my car is full of champagne and flowers.

“Would you rather she be with Dalton?” she asks, seeing my distress. “Two things: I saw his father at the grocery store. His throwing hand is broken, meaning he’s out for the season. He didn’t get grounded, but his date for the dance did, so Dalton asked Dani to go with him instead. That means, your daughter turned down going to the dance with arguably the most popular senior boy. And I’d be willing to bet that you can thank Jennifer for that. What are the balloons for?”

I swallow back the lump I feel in my throat and give my best friend a hug. “They are for you. I’m sorry I was a jerk this morning. You were completely right.”

“Can you say that again? I’d like to record it,” she says with an easy laugh.

“This is definitely an off-the-record apology,” I say, laughing, too.

“So, are you taking her out in public?”

“Not until after Wednesday. Then I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

“Good for you,” she says. “Wanna help me carry the groceries in?”

“I would, but I have to get home. Do me a favor. Make sure Jennifer goes up to her room before I come pick her up.”

“Like, she’s not just walking over to your house?”

“No, I’ll be picking her up.”

“Uh, okay,” she says.

I load groceries into her arms and then go open the door for her.

“You’ll see,” I say.

“I’m surprised you didn’t invite Danny over to watch the game,” I say to Jadyn, who is effortlessly throwing together a huge spread of food.

If I had this many people over all the time, I’d have a catering company on speed dial. But then I think of how wonderful it was to make breakfast for Dani this morning, and I realize that, to Jadyn, food is part of the way she shows her love for her friends and family.

“He knows he’s always invited,” she tells me. “He has other plans tonight. With you.”

“Is it because he didn’t want me to hang out with you all?”

“I think it’s more that he doesn’t want us all hanging out with you.”

“What do you think I should wear?”

“Remember the dress I told you to keep covered up until you needed it? I think you need it.”

“Oh gosh, the pressure. Is he taking me somewhere all fancy?”

“I’m not sure,” she says noncommittally.

And I know she’s not going to say anything more on the subject.

“Danny came over before he left for work this morning to invite me out for dinner tonight. After he left, I was being all girlie and watched him walk away. It seemed like you two had a disagreement.”

“Yeah, well, Danny and I tend to butt heads sometimes on certain subjects.”

“And am I one of those subjects?”

She drops the cheese on the counter and looks me directly in the eye. “Not at all. Obviously. Things are just complicated with him not yet being divorced.”

“That makes sense,” I say, still wondering what they disagreed about when a bunch of kids come barreling in from the garage.

“Mom, Jennifer, come see what we did!” Haley yells. “Maddie, Kassie, and I have been helping Chase all day!”

I get off the barstool while Jadyn wipes her hands on a towel.

The garage is completely transformed. There is black plastic sheeting hanging around the room, hiding the normal garage contents. Four disco lights dangle from the ceiling along with multiple strands of colored Christmas lights. There’s a massive banner spelling out in blue glitter. They even laid down carpet. And not just any carpet. This carpet appears to glow in the dark. Off to the side, there is a dining room table elaborately and colorfully set for two. I’m talking napkins, wine glasses, and a tablecloth made out of pink sequins. Angel, the dog, is decked out in a matching pink boa and doesn’t seem to mind.

“Wow. This is something,” Jadyn says. She wanders around the room, inspecting all their work and beaming with pride. “Devaney is going to love it. Good job. And, because it was so sweet of you girls to help Chase, why don’t you call your parents and see if you can sleep over tonight?”

“Really, Mom?” Haley asks, running up and giving her mother a hug. “That’s perfect. They can help me serve dinner. Did you get everything?”

“Of course I did,” Jadyn says with a grin.

“It will be Dani’s first time,” Chase says proudly, causing my mind to immediately go to sex.

“Um, first time for ?” I blurt out, suddenly feeling very protective of her.

“Oh.” Chase immediately blushes. “Our family has a tradition. When something good happens, we get a bucket of chicken, all the fixings, and a bottle of champagne to celebrate.”

“The kids get sparkling cider,” Jadyn clarifies.

“And Dani doesn’t know about this? I thought you guys were all so close?” I ask.

The kids’ eyes get that deer-in-the-headlights look.

“You guys did great,” Jadyn says. “Chase, go get dressed. I picked up the wrist corsage, and it’s in the fridge. Everything else is in the kitchen. Why don’t you girls go put it on my good china?”

The kids and the dog all go running off.

“Did I say something wrong?” I ask.

“No, it’s just that …” She sighs heavily. “How can I put this? Um, Lori pretty much didn’t approve of anything that wasn’t top notch. She thought fried chicken and champagne were the ultimate in tacky. And I know this because, when I told her it was kind of a thing with me and Phillip, she told me so. We never invited the Diamonds to celebrate with us in that way. I didn’t want her to taint my children. I never wanted them thinking they were too good for a bucket of chicken. Sure, Phillip and I earn more money now, and the champagne we buy is a lot nicer quality than it used to be, but it’s always got to be passed around and drunk straight from the bottle.”

My heart swells in admiration. “If it wasn’t for Danny, you wouldn’t have stayed friends with Lori, would you?”

“Absolutely not. I always tell my kids to be careful when choosing their words because words can hurt as much as physical pain. That if you say something, even out of anger, if it’s hurtful enough, the other person might never be able to forget it. That’s where I’ve been with her since. I’ve forgiven her. I’m polite and friendly to her out of respect for Danny and the kids. Otherwise, I would have put her out of my life a very long time ago. Because life is too short.”

“Here, here,” I say, raising my empty hand in the air.

“We can’t have that,” she says, sneaking behind the black plastic and coming back with two bottles of beer. She clinks them together and says, “Here’s to true friends.” She takes a drink and glances at her watch. “What time is your date?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

“You’d better go get ready!”

I give her a quick hug and then run out the side door and up the stairs. When I get to the door to my bedroom, I find a large vase wrapped in orange tissue paper and covered with silly Halloween stickers, a note poking out from underneath it.

I carry it into the bedroom, set it on the dresser, and then peel off the tissue, being careful not to rip it. What I find is a crazy floral arrangement that makes my heart sing. There are about a million orange roses. Mixed in between is an assortment of sparkling, twisting neon-green sticks, glittered hot-pink skulls, shimmering black bats, and sugared orange pumpkins.

The result is both extravagant and completely tacky—much like the homecoming dance in the garage below me—yet it feels utterly romantic.

I rush into the bathroom, touch up my makeup, and then unzip the dress bag. The first thing I notice is that the dress is orange. I close my eyes, remembering the last time I wore an orange dress. It’s always been my favorite color, and it looks pretty with my skin tone, but after I won an Academy Award and was labeled best dressed of the night, my stylist said we had to retire the color in honor.

Part of me wants to start crying. The other part wants to see the rest of this dress. I pull it all the way out of the bag and discover a ruffled mini made of silk satin. It feels so soft against my skin, and when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I let out a little squeal and then jump up and down. Imagine a basic, fitted V-neck shift and sew some ruffles around the hem. Add more ruffles to drape across your shoulders and arms, and you have the amazingness of this adorable dress. It’s both sexy and casual.

I don’t know where Danny is taking me tonight, but it doesn’t matter. I feel beautiful.

I noticed there was a shoebox nestled in the bottom of the dress bag, so I get it out. I let out a laugh when I find a pair of strappy hot-pink suede sandals and a Bordeaux-colored mini handbag. I’m still laughing as I finish getting dressed. I look a little like my flowers.

I quickly put the shoes on and run into the bathroom to add a bright lip color. I realize I’ve yet to read the note. I rush over and pick it up, just as there’s a knock on the door.

There’s another knock.

I take a moment to savor the sentiment before I open the door.

“Wow. You look … freaking gorgeous,” Danny says breathlessly.

“Thank you,” I say with a smile. “Plus, my dress sort of matches the flowers you sent. They are crazy beautiful.”

“You’re crazy beautiful,” he says. “The flowers are just plain crazy. Do you like them?”

“Like them? Are you kidding? I love them. They are so fun. And silly. But then there are all those roses. They smell amazing. Thank you.”

Danny beams and holds his arm out. “Sorry I’m a little late. I had to take some pictures of Devaney in her homecoming dress. You ready to go?”

“I am.” I take a few steps out into the office.

He falls in step next to me, putting his hand on the small of my back.

“Danny, you’re killing me with that.”

His hand stays put. Clearly, he doesn’t have a clue.

“With what?” he asks, looking perplexed.

I slightly lean back and then pull my hips forward, curving my spine away from his hand.

“My hand? Is that inappropriate?” he asks, finally understanding. “I was just trying to be polite.”

“So, you do that to every woman you walk next to? Because I’m going to have a problem with that.”

“Am I in trouble?” he asks, genuinely looking upset.

The change in his demeanor says everything—that his wife flew off the handle about stuff like this. That he’s used to being scolded.

I take a step toward him, bringing the whole front of my body flat against his, and then wrap my arms around his neck.

“When I press against you like this”—I squirm a little for effect—“does it feel polite?” He shakes his head, so I keep going, “What you might not know, Danny Diamond, is, it doesn’t matter where you touch me; it feels like magic. Your fingers have a power over me. Anytime we are close, my heart beats a little faster, but when you throw in a touch, your adorable smirk, your commercial-worthy voice”—I press my nose to his neck—“and the way you smell, it’s like you’re imprinting a part of you onto me. Every time you do it, I feel elation, quickly followed by an intense flash of sorrow.”

“It makes you sad when I touch you?”

“It makes me remember that you might decide to keep touching me. When we met, you were married, and you purposely didn’t touch me.”

“I couldn’t. It would have—” he argues.

“I know, but what you don’t realize is that you did touch me. And, believe me, I felt every single accidental brush. When we walked into the restaurant so long ago, you touched the small of my back. Like you did just now. Maybe I didn’t have the same impact on you as you had on me, but—”

“That’s not true,” he states adamantly. “I was a wreck for weeks, trying to decide what to do. I felt like my life had finally gotten started. I had the career of my dreams, I was married, and I had a baby. I came home, wanting to blow it all up, run back to California, and be with you. After you dropped me off at the airport, I sat there and wondered what in the world I was doing. I didn’t want to go home at all. But then I convinced myself that I was starstruck. That it was all ego. Like,

”

“But you knew better once you stopped freaking out. That’s why you stopped talking to me.”

“Because I knew it was more. That, in one night, I had fallen in love with you. But I was too afraid to act on it. I was afraid of what would happen if I blew up my life.”

“Afraid you’d lose your daughter,” I say knowingly. “Jadyn told me that your wife threatened you.”

He hangs his head. I kiss his nose in response, causing him to look up into my eyes.

“I don’t want to talk anymore about what could have been back then,” I tell him. “I was just letting you know that, every time you touch me, I feel like we have a future, and if that’s not what you want, save me the heartache. Don’t do it.”

He nods, grins at me, and then puts his hand back where it was, causing me to smile so big, it almost hurts my face. We go down the stairs and follow the path to where a shiny red Ferrari convertible is sitting in the drive.

“Oh my gosh, Danny. This car is beautiful. It’s a F430 Spider, right?” Jennifer asks, causing my face to light up over the fact that she knows.

“That’s right.”

“You must hardly ever drive it. If that’s the case,” she says with a smirk, “then you should let me drive it to dinner.”

“I don’t drive it as much as I’d like. To be honest, Lori hates this car. It wasn’t even allowed in the garage. Although that’s not a bad thing since the kids were always in and out of it with their bikes and sports gear when they were younger.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t want this scratched up,” she says, delicately running her hand across the hood as she circles the car to look at it from all angles.

“Do you like cars?” I ask.

“I have a thing for exotic cars. When I first started acting, I made a lot of money doing the Sector movies. So, for fun, my friends and I made a list of the most ridiculously expensive cars. I didn’t want to buy one until I saw the Bentley Continental GT3-R. They were really rare at the time. So, the party where I met you, it was a fundraiser for Moon Wish Wine, remember?”

“I remember everything about the night,” I say, just watching her walk the perimeter of my car, taking in every curve.

“I was dating the actor, Knox Daniels, at the time.”

“I definitely remember that. Jadyn was shocked that I could steal you away from the Sexiest Man Alive.”

She giggles. “Well, he is pretty cute, I’ll say that. So if you saw every movie I was in, does that mean you saw all the movies?”

“Oh, yeah. You played a very naughty girl in that series. It was hot.”

“The producer of that series was Riley Johnson. He had a GT3-R and let me drive it. Since then, I’ve been a little obsessed. I have a storage unit with, um, six-ish cars.” She rolls her eyes and lets out a howling laugh. “By , I mean, there are nine. I made a bet with Riley that, if hit big, he’d sell me the car. I won. It was the start of my collection.”

She moves to the driver’s side, opens the door, and slides in.

“Did I say you could drive?”

“Nope. I figure it’s better to ask for forgiveness later,” she teases, leaning toward me as I slip into the passenger seat next to her.

I’d let her drive anything of mine she wants.

She turns the key and revs the engine, grinning like a maniac at the throaty sound. “Ohmigawd! This is going to be so fun. I hope we are going on the highway.”

“We are now,” I tell her as she backs out of the driveway.

She takes off in the direction I point. Today was sunny and warm, but the temperature cooled when the sun set. Jennifer doesn’t seem to even notice. Her hair is blowing in the breeze. The ruffles on her dress are rippling across her skin. And the grin on her freaking gorgeous face brings me such joy.

She babbles on about the different cars she has, how I will have to come to California to see and drive them, and how responsive the throttle on my car is. Based on her knowledge of cars, I’m thinking she’s not just bullshitting me. I will admit, I am kinda thinking about how responsive throttle feels whenever she’s around.

I direct her out of our subdivision and onto the freeway. Thankfully, it’s not too busy because she was serious when she said she liked to drive fast. We’ve gone about six miles before I suggest she take the next exit. I take her a different way, but we’re soon turning back into my neighborhood.

“Wait,” she says, “isn’t this where you live?”

“Yeah,” I say, pointing out a couple of more turns. I take the remote out of my pocket and click it, causing the garage door to roll up.

“I thought we were going out? I got dressed up,” she says, looking slightly stricken.

“And you’re wearing orange. Are you cheering for the other team?” I tease.

“Oh, so we are going to the Mackenzies’ to watch the game?” she asks.

I take her hand and help her out of the car, and then I lead her in through the front door.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.” I show her the dining room, where the table is set for dinner and dozens of votive candles flicker softly. “There are some things more important than a Nebraska game.”

Her eyes light up, the candles reflecting in them. She wraps an arm around my neck and pulls me close. “It’s beautiful, Danny.”

I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and then slide a chair out for her. “Please, have a seat.”

“Did you cook?”

“No. I wanted to take you to my favorite restaurant, but Jadyn thought it would be a bad idea. If we were seen together, not only would the press know you were here, but they might also speculate things about us. And those things would be bad for me.”

“Like, because of your endorsements?”

“No one knows that I’m getting a divorce. So, it would have looked a little scandalous.”

She shimmies her shoulders and grins. “I’m feeling a little scandalous. Between the crazy, gorgeous flowers and that exhilarating drive, who knows what I might do? Speaking of that, your car only has, like, five thousand miles on it. What’s up with that? Did you purposely try to keep the milage low? I figured with the way your wife seemed to be into status, it would have gotten driven a lot more.”

“I bought the car with my sign-on bonus when I got drafted. I also bought it when I was a little drunk during Phillip’s bachelor party in Vegas. She always considered my money as money, and it pissed her off that I hadn’t gotten her approval first. She also didn’t like that I refused to return the car, even after she went nearly ballistic.”

I pour the wine and bring our meal out from the kitchen.

“I’m getting the hang of this,” Jennifer says, raising her glass into the air, “and I like it. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to do the toast.”

I give her a nod.

“To being reckless,” she says, looking straight into my eyes, almost daring me to be exactly that.

We’ve talked all the way through dinner. Although I really just want to strip naked and do it on the table, I’m enjoying getting to know him and understanding his life better.

“The ribs were amazing, and the cheesy corn is literally to die for. I sort of want to bathe in it.”

Danny grins.

I love how easy it is to make him smile. And I find myself wanting to do it. But I realize that it’s not my job to make him happy. He’s either happy with his life and with me in it or he’s not. I have to fight every urge I have to kiss it and make it better, because I know, based on my experience with Troy, it doesn’t work.

I will admit though, part of me wants him to kiss me to fix the shambles that my life has become. I also know I can’t hide out here forever. Pretty soon, I’m going to have to go back to LA. Find somewhere to live. Meet with my agent, assistant, and publicist to figure out what I am contractually bound to do. I know there isn’t too much as I had planned on taking some time off during Troy’s upcoming tour.

“Jadyn told me you came over and spoke with Devaney and went to the spa with her today. I just want you to know, I appreciate that. And it sounds like you gave her some good advice.”

“Ha!” I say with a laugh. “I told her, once an asshole, always an asshole. She decided on her own which category that quarterback fit into. I know last night was rough, but you should be proud of her. She’s a good kid.”

“I have two amazing children, but I can tell high school is going to be tough.”

“I was best friends with a girl who had the coolest family. They did so much together, and they had fun. Everyone wanted to be around them. Me especially. I didn’t get along with my mom, and I certainly never confided in her about anything. My friend told her mom almost everything. Anything she didn’t tell her, we did. I always wanted that kind of family.” I set my napkin on the table. “So, Danny Diamond, dinner is finished. What do you have planned next for our date?”

“Um,” he stutters.

I realize I’m an idiot.

“I don’t mean that I expect anything else. I mean, the flowers, the drive, the dinner, all the candles. It was really special, Danny. I was just going to suggest something, but I didn’t want to if you had something else in mind.”

“What were you thinking?” he asks.

“Well, what would you be doing tonight if I wasn’t here? Like, it’s a normal night in your life.”

“I’d be watching the game next door. Or, if the game was already over, I’d be watching film in my study.”

“Film? Like a movie?” I ask.

“No, like game film of the opponents we’ll be facing next.”

I clap. “Oh, then that’s what I want to do!”

“Really?” he asks, causing me to realize I should have suggested something that included us naked.

He blows out the candles and then leads me into his study. He sits in one of the oversize chairs. I could sit in the matching chair, but I decide not to. Instead, I plop down sideways across his lap with the rest of the second bottle of wine.

He grabs a remote, turning on both the TV and fireplace. I sort of thought that we would be watching a game, but this is like snippets of plays. A football montage.

“What are we looking for?” I ask. “Like, that was a good play by the defense. They stopped the run.”

“Right,” he says. “The hole closed before he could penetrate it.”

“That sounds dirty!” I slap his knee and bust out in laughter.

“Watch this,” he says, scrolling through to another play. “In this one, he got penetration in the backfield.”

“Ohmigawd! Did he enjoy it at least?”

Danny laughs along with me. “Probably not. He got tackled pretty hard. See this defensive back? He’s the best player on the team, and I’ll be his prime target. See how unstoppable he is? How he got right through the offensive line?”

“He came from his blindside and got him from behind,” I say after watching the quarterback take a vicious sack.

Danny raises his eyebrows at me.

“Oh, I just did it, too, and didn’t even notice! What happens when get it from behind, Danny?”

He stares at me, not sure of what to say, but the corners of his mouth are curled up into a smirk. “I’m trying to think of something fun and sexual to say to make you laugh, but I’m coming up blank. I’ll tell you my favorite one though.”

“What is it?” I ask, leaning closer to him. So close, our lips almost touch when we speak. “He. Could. Go. All. The. Way.”

“Quarterbacks like going all the way, huh?” I flirt, sliding my hand behind his neck and giving him a kiss.

We kiss for a few minutes. Even though I’m a little tipsy, either from being this close to Danny or the wine, I don’t try to move things along. I’m okay with just kissing him.

“After that kiss,” he says, “I might need to go to the sideline for a quick blow.”

My eyes get big, but then … “Wait, probably doesn’t mean what my dirty mind is thinking.”

He chuckles and allows his fingers to graze down my arm as he answers, “When someone runs hard down the field, they’ll come over and get some oxygen to help their muscles recover quicker.”

“That’s funny. Oh! Rewind that! Listen to what the announcer just said.”

He hits rewind, and we watch as the chains are brought out to see if it was a first down or not. It’s just short.

The announcer goes, “Well, football is a game of inches.”

“Oh, you have a dirty mind,” Danny says. “I have never taken it that way before, now it’s all I’ll think about every time I hear it said.”

“And how many inches do have?” I shimmy my butt against his lap.

He grabs my hips. And his hands, I realize, are quite large. They splay all the way across my stomach.

“You’d better behave.”

Of course, I am not the kind of girl who behaves, so I press my ass into his lap again and wiggle it.

“Now, you’re in trouble,” he says, tickling my sides.

When I scream out in laughter, he shuts me up with more kisses.

Or maybe it’s the way we kiss. You know how, sometimes, you kiss someone, and it just feels sort of off. Like, your tongues collide rather than move in synchrony. Our kissing is like that. It’s a perfect dance, a rhythm only we can feel. His lips are soft, his tongue firm and demanding, and then there’s the scruff of his facial hair. It’s like perfection. If our relationship were based solely on the way his kisses make me feel, I would live out the rest of my days in a visceral bliss.

The TV blares back on; apparently, it got tired of being on pause while we made out.

“That’s loud,” Danny mutters, barely moving his lips away from mine. He grabs the remote and presses pause again.

“I’m enjoying kissing you,” I tell him as I take the remote and hit play. “But I’m enjoying the football part, too.”

We watch a few more plays, and then Danny points at the screen. “Watch this. The quarterback is going deep. That’s where the defense is vulnerable and something I hope to capitalize on during the game on Monday.”

I grin at him. “He’s going , huh?”

He rolls his eyes. “Dang, now everything I say is going to be sexual. Especially when you see the next play. They are close to the goal line, and all they have to do is .”

I let out a hoot of laughter. He tickles me. I hop off his lap and stand in front of him.

I blow a pretend whistle and signal a penalty. “Illegal use of the hands,” I say, pointing to my sides where he keeps tickling me before dropping back down across his lap.

He just sits there and looks at me, causing me to worry that something is on my face.

“What?” I finally ask.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” he says. “It’s really fun.”

“Your wife never watched films with you?”

He vehemently shakes his head. “She didn’t like football, and I think, half the time, she thought watching films was just an excuse for me to be alone. I tried to teach her. In college, when we dated, she was interested, but she got bored with it, I guess.”

“That makes me sad for you. It’s so obvious how much you love the game.”

“Were you bored?” he asks, looking concerned.

“Me? Are you kidding? I was sitting on your lap, Danny Diamond. You could have been watching a math video, and I would have enjoyed it. You allowed me into your world. You taught me a lot of dirty football terms that I believe will be useful in my life and—” I stop mid-sentence to stare at him. “Gosh, I’ve missed you.” I shake my head and ramble, “That makes no sense, does it? One night, one kiss on the lips, a football game, a hayrack ride.”

“I kissed the back of your hand when we said good-bye. Can’t forget that.” He slides his finger to the spot.

“And I autographed your arm.”

“I didn’t wash it for days.” He stretches his long arm over to his desk, opens a drawer, fishes around, and then produces a black Sharpie. I smile, unbutton his shirtsleeve, and slowly roll it up. His eyes are hooded and sexy as the tip of the marker touches his skin. Writing on him feels almost sensual.

I sign my name, adding a heart to the top of the , just like I did back then. I also have a strong desire to see more of him unclothed.

“I’ve seen your underwear ads, and I know you have tattoos. Can I see them?” I ask, figuring that’s one easy way to get him out of his shirt.

He doesn’t reply, just starts unbuttoning his shirt, and then moves me over, so he can stand. My heart races. I hear a creak coming from somewhere in the house.

Part of me wants to tell him to put the shirt back on, so we don’t get caught, but the other part of me wants him to take all his clothes off.

When his dress shirt slides off his shoulders, instead of seeing the spectacular pecs and abs I’ve seen in magazines, I realize he’s wearing a T-shirt underneath.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s a nice view. Tightly molded to his chest, it’s like a movie-trailer teaser with a glimpse of what’s to come.

I’m hoping our movie is one full of beautiful sexual expression. And dare I wish for love? An over-the-top proposal, a romantic happy ending, driving-off-in-the-sunset happily ever after. You’d think, with all the movies I’d made, I’d have thought about my own life with Troy as one. A chance encounter at a wedding, moving in together shortly after, and traveling the world is the stuff fairy tales are made of. Except alcohol was the evil stepmother in our story, undermining us at every turn, causing me to lose myself while trying to save him.

“This one,” Danny says, bringing me back to the present, pointing at tall Roman numerals on the inside of his forearm, opposite of where I wrote my name, “are the dates of my children’s births.”

I slide my finger across the top of the tattoo. “That’s sweet.”

“It’s off center,” he says with a sigh. “I started it close to my elbow so that I’d have room for my children’s birthdays.”

I look at the now sad-looking empty space between the middle of his forearm and wrist. “You wanted more kids?”

He nods. “Yeah. I’m an only child, and I’ve always dreamed of having a big family. Lots of kids and grandkids.”

“How come you didn’t have more?”

“Once we got a boy and a girl, Lori said we were done. Our perfect family was complete. She hated being pregnant.”

“I’ve always wanted children,” I whisper, thinking I’d like to help him fill in the empty space.

“Why didn’t you?”

“My dad was an alcoholic. I swore, I’d never bring a child into a situation like that. I remember a few years after being with Troy, I was so excited because I was a few days late. I was thinking of how I was going to get a pregnancy test the next day and how happy I would be if I were pregnant. That night was when Troy had his first relapse. It was ugly and hurtful, but I understood the addiction even though I didn’t get it. Like, I don’t know how you could be so weak as to let something rule your life. Now, I realize I did that, too. I allowed Troy and his addiction to rule my life, which is almost as bad.”

“Have you talked to him since it happened? Where do things stand with the two of you? Will you get a divorce?”

“We were together for a long time but never got married. So, after all that happened last weekend, I was hiding out in the house, trying to wrap my head around it. Trying to mourn what I knew was the end of our relationship. Then, he and his manager just walked in the front door on Wednesday afternoon with no warning. He was all, , and, . Thank goodness Jadyn had texted just before, or I don’t know where I would’ve gone. Over the years I had been with Troy, although his popularity grew worldwide and his music was golden, we lost a lot of friends. Well, I did. Party friends are surprisingly easy to find. It’s easy to get caught up in the lifestyle.”

Danny slips his arm around my shoulders and hugs me. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m sorry you are going through a divorce.”

“Thank you.”

We have a quiet moment of just looking at each other, our hearts speaking volumes but our words stuck in our throats.

I expect for him to kiss me, but instead, he says, “Want to see the rest?”

And I’m thinking, I then remember asking to see his tattoos.

He pulls his T-shirt up on one side, and I can’t contain my gasp.

“I know I shouldn’t so blatantly drool over your muscles. We all know things like a fit body and good looks fade over the years, and it’s important to love the person’s insides and their being, but, damn, Danny, is all of your body perfection?”

He stops and gives me a cocky grin. “Wanna find out?”

But then he stops and backs away. Shakes his head. “I’m sorry. That was completely inappropriate of me.”

“Why?”

“It’s late,” he says, glancing at his watch. “I’d better get to bed.”

Yee-haw, I glance at his bedroom door.

His eyes follow mine, and then a sad look crosses his face as he takes my hand and says, “I’ll walk you out.”

“Okay,” I say, suddenly upset.

When he opens the door, I step outside and don’t bother to look back. “Night,” is all I mutter.

He shuts the door behind me. I stand there for a few minutes, wondering what just happened before dropping down on the front stoop to cry.

I close the door, feeling like I just shut my heart in it. I peek out the dining room window, making sure Jennifer can’t see me as she walks next door. But she’s not there.

I have a moment of panic.

I stand directly in front of the window, not caring now if she sees me, and look down both sides of the street. She’s nowhere.

I run to the front door and open it, finding her sitting on the top step, her head bowed toward her knees, crying.

I gently shut the door and sit down next to her. “Why are you crying?”

She shakes her head. “I’m not sure. All of it, I guess.”

“All of , or all of ?”

She looks up, tears streaming down her face. “You.”

“I should have had the courtesy to walk you home. I know that. But, if I had …”

“What?”

“I would have kissed you good night. And, I wouldn’t have stopped there.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to.”

“My kids could come home any minute.”

“So, you and your wife never had sex? No wonder she looked elsewhere,” she says, her comment stinging. “Night, Danny. Good luck with your game. I’m going to head back to LA on Monday. Get my life together, and stop hiding out here, in the middle of nowhere.”

Her chin is jutted out. The hurt I’ve caused is written all across her face.

I reach out and take her hand, pulling her up. I lead her across the yard and then up the stairs to Jadyn’s office.

I follow her into the room.

When the door closes, it’s dark, just a little moonlight coming in through the window.

“Jennifer, it’s taken me months to come to terms with the fact that my marriage is over. I’m rebuilding my life, my kids’ lives, and I’m trying to figure out a settlement with Lori. I’m a few days away from knowing when it will be over, when I can start over. If she signs the papers on Wednesday, it will be thirty days. You just ended your long relationship a week ago.

“I can’t kiss you again because, if I do, I’ll end up in bed with you or probably on this table and everywhere else we can think of. I’m ready for that, but I don’t think you are. I know you say you’re done with him, but I can’t … let myself be with you like that when I don’t know. Maybe Jadyn’s right, and I am being a pussy, but I finally get now why she was afraid to date Phillip after they were friends for so long. She was afraid it wouldn’t work, and she’d lose him. I lost you once by my own doing, and I don’t have the strength right now to lose you again.”

I bring her hand to my lips, pressing it into my skin, just like I did at the end of our night together all those years ago.

I pull my hand away, and she throws herself into my arms.

“Jadyn suggested that I hang out with you, be friends. Can we do that? Do you want to get to know each other better? Take it slow?” I ask. Well, beg really.

“Yes,” she says, “but I need you to know that I’m not going to get back together with Troy this time. I shouldn’t have taken him back after the second rehab, and I told him I wouldn’t if there were a third. I can’t be with him, Danny. I don’t want to be. I don’t know if we will work, and I don’t want you to think this is me rebounding. I told you that night, and I’ll tell you again. If you can’t promise forever, just promise tonight.”

I lower my lips to hers, giving her only a taste.

Then, I walk away.

As I close the door behind me, I turn around. “I want forever more than I want tonight, Jennifer. If you go back to LA on Monday, I hope you know that it was really nice seeing you again.”