River and I come back to the front counter and he pulls Emerson aside. I make a beeline to Ben and sit beside him. He looks up from his screen to give me a soft smile, and my heart melts. His green eyes might be behind his frames today, but it doesn't stop me from appreciating the vibrant color.
Even as I stare into his eyes though, I can tell something is off with him. I rest a hand on his arm and nudge him.
"Won't you tell me what's wrong?" He looks away, not meeting my gaze as he responds, "I'm fine, I'm just a little tired." He yawns, coincidentally proving his point. "I can tell." I say gently.
"How about we go back to your house and you can take a nap? I'm sure they'll be fine running things here. We've already got the new things put away, and Emerson is taking care of the event planning. Plus things are quiet today." He bites his lip and shakes his head after a moment of thought. "No, there's still a lot of planning to do."
River comes up behind us and rests a hand on Ben's shoulder. "It will be fine. Em's got things handled here." She nods from across the counter at us as River continues. "I'm coming with you guys. I'll drive and cook something for lunch. Then you guys can just relax."
Ben looks at me with an indecisive expression, and opens his mouth to argue. I cut him off with a whisper. "Please." I rest my hand on his and look into his eyes. "O-okay." He stutters.
River turns to Emerson. "Call me if you have any questions or final decisions we need to run over." She nods, and I slowly rise, trying to avoid another dizzy spell.
I blink a few times and put my head down, trying to get rid of the black spots that are dancing in my vision. I put my head up to find Ben looking curiously at me. Without a word, he puts a hand on my arm to steady me and guides me out the door of the shop, the bell dinging.
River follows behind us as we trek to the car. "Ben give me your keys. I'll drive." He nods and searches his pockets, pulling out a set of keys. I realize that he must be even more tired than he's letting on, since he's not protesting like his usual stubborn self.
Ben opens the back door of the car for me and then slides in next to me. River starts the car and we head down the street. Ben has his eyes closed and his head rests on the back of the seat.
An odd feeling of warmth and comfort runs through me as I imagine what it would be like for him to rest his head on my shoulder. Reality crashes around me and I look out the window, remembering the last person I imagined being with. A wave of sadness falls over me and replaces my good mood.
We pull up to the apartments after a short ride, and I look over to see that Ben's glasses have slid down his nose. "Ben." I say in a low tone. He opens his eyes and turns to me. "Hi. What can I do for you?" He says with a teasing smile. "...I thought you were sleeping." I say, feeling my cheeks heat up. The smile falls off his face and I catch him mutter, "I wish." He climbs out of the car and I'm left to follow.
We head into Ben's apartment and kick off our shoes before piling onto the couch together with Ben in the middle. "You guys want me to make food or just order something?" River asks. Ben shrugs, rubbing his eyes. "Doesn't matter to me." River looks at me, and I shrug too.
"You can just order something. Then you don't have to go through all the work of cooking." "Alright, anyone opposed to Chinese?" River asks. We shake our heads in response. I look over at Ben, noticing how absolutely exhausted he looks. "Ben you should try to take a nap." I tell him.
He lets out a large sigh. "Then you're coming with me." He retorts, getting up and grabbing my arm to pull me off the couch. I bump into his chest as I rise and for just a moment, I'm frozen. He doesn't seem to notice, even though adrenaline is pumping through my veins.
He pulls me by the arm down the hall to his room, then turns to me with his arms crossed. "I know you're hiding something. Are you sure you're feeling okay today?" He asks. I drop onto the bed with a sigh. "Okay maybe not fabulous." I mumble.
He plops down next to me, propping his head up with his elbows. "Well, let's take a nap and maybe we'll feel better." I look at him, not missing out on the fact that he said we, which means he admitted he's not feeling great either.
He flips over to his back and crawls under the covers, and I follow suit. I close my eyes and let myself drift off.
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I wake again later to the bed shaking slightly and the faint sounds of sobbing coming from next to me. I slowly to turn on my side to find Ben facing away from me. The sound of crying cuts off as he feels me shift. "Ben?" I whisper groggily, scooting closer to him and gently putting a hand on his shoulder. I'm met with silence and I sigh at him.
"C'mere." I say, still half asleep. I snuggle closer to him and flop an arm over his waist, drifting off again.
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Ben's P. O. V.
I've been tossing and turning for an hour while Jay has been fast asleep next to me. At this point I'm so frustrated I want to just pull my hair out. I curl up into a ball and let tears track down my cheeks until I'm full on sobbing.
I feel the bed shift and put a hand over my mouth to muffle my cries, hoping I haven't already woken him up. "Ben?" A low groggy whisper says.
I wipe the tears off my face, then pretend to be asleep. His hand touches my shoulder and he sighs. I hear him sleepily mutter "C'mere."
I feel the bed shift as he scoots closer and moves his arm to drape over my side. I lay still and wait until his breathing evens out so I know he's asleep, then slowly turn to my other side to face him.
I pull his arm back over me but he doesn't stir. The room is dark, but just enough light peeks through the closed curtains for me to make out his sleeping figure.
His feathery blonde hair has fallen over half his face, but I can make out a pair of scrunched eyebrows. I almost wish his eyelids weren't closed so I could look at his blue eyes. His strong cheekbones make shadows on his face with the angles of light. Slightly parted lips reveal his teeth. His whole expression seems conflicted or in pain, and I realize his head must still be bothering him, even while he sleeps.
I brush a few stray locks of his hair out of his face before pulling my hand back in sudden realization of what I've just done. His face has melted into a content expression now, which makes me wonder if I had something to do with it. I watch him sleep and find myself struggling to keep my own eyes open. I give in to the exhaustion that's overtaken my body and let myself fall asleep.
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Jay's P. O. V.
I wake to a splitting pain in my head that's even worse than before. I sit up with a groan, holding my head. I'm disoriented for a moment by dizziness and blink a few times, trying to make it disappear. The feeling passes, and I notice Ben curled up next to me.
I sigh and fall back against the bed, closing my eyes to block out what light is peeking through the curtains. I'm tempted to wake him up to ask if he has any headache medicine, but he's sleeping peacefully and I don't want to disturb him since he's been exhausted lately.
I put my arm over his waist and pull him a little closer, cuddling up with him since my head hurts too much to go back to sleep. I lay there in the silence next to him in frustration.
I crack an eye open when he moves to find him blearily blinking his eyes at me. "Hey." I say, grimacing at how rough my voice sounds. He smiles at me. "Hi." He reaches to put a hand on my shoulder with a concerned expression. "You doing alright?" I realize my breathing has slightly sped up, reflecting my panic from the random dizziness.
I blink a few times in confusion, trying to refocus my surroundings. "Jay?" He questions, tapping a finger against my cheek. Slowly the dizzy feeling fades and I respond. "Sorry. Kinda dizzy." I say shakily, a bit rattled.
He sits up and scoots over so we're touching. He peers into my eyes, watching my expression. I shake my head a bit and sit up. "Sorry. I'm good now."
I play with my fingers to avoid his gaze as he watches me. I clear my throat. "We should get up, we'll be eating soon." I rise from the bed and stumble, suddenly feeling lightheaded.
Ben races around the bed and puts a hand on my arm to steady me. "Jay? Are you sure you're okay?" Ben asks. I slide his hand off my arm and nod. "Yeah, I'm fine."
I can tell by his expression that he knows I'm lying, but he doesn't comment. I turn away and walk out to the kitchen, trying to mask how much pain my head is giving me. I don't need to worry River on top of everyone else. It's just head pain right? I'll be fine; it'll go away. There's no use laying my problems on everyone else. Even as I sit on the couch I can feel Ben side eyeing me.
I ignore his piercing gaze and scroll on my phone to distract myself. River's gone off to the kitchen to call the Chinese place so I've been left alone with Ben. He doesn't say anything, but I can guess what he's probably thinking.
I shift on the couch, putting my head back against the armrest and my legs bent in front of me. I glance at Ben to find him still watching me, his lips now pursed. He gets up without a word and walks out to the kitchen to find River.
As soon as he's gone I wince from the pain in my head. It's like someone dropped an anvil on my skull. I take a couple deep breaths and try to go back to my phone, finding it difficult to focus.
Ben comes back into the living room, his arms filled with all sorts of supplies. He sits down on the floor by me and I watch as he lays out pill bottles, drinks, and ice packs. "Even if you won't admit it, I can tell you're not feeling great." He says, not meeting my gaze. "Take what you need, I'm going to go grab a few things from my room then we can watch a movie or something." He leaves the room again and I look down at the pill bottles with a sigh before looking at the labels and swallowing a few.
Ben emerges from the hallway with a bundle of blankets, his tablet, and some notebooks. He climbs onto the couch and scoots close to me before throwing a soft gray blanket over us.