Ben's P. O. V.
I've been driving myself crazy with worry. I finally made up my mind to just call him, but he never answers. I bite my lip and dial his number again, only to get the answering machine.
"Hey, it's Jay. Leave a message and I'll get back to you later." I take in a nervous breath before speaking. "Hey, it's Ben. Can we talk? Just... call me back please."
I hang up the phone and fall back against the couch that I've been on all night. I haven't been able to get any sleep as usual, but coffee has been helping me function fine so far. I'm starting to drive myself crazy without something productive to distract me.
Even though it's early in the morning, I decide to change and go down to the bookstore.
I get dressed and slide on my jean jacket, then head down the street to the shop. The streets are mostly quiet, except for a few elderly couples out shopping. I get to the store and bang on the glass since the door's still locked.
River's head of spiky blue hair pops out from behind a shelf and hurries to unlock the door for me. "Someone's early." He comments as he lets me in.
"Couldn't sleep again." I mumble, followed by a sigh. River looks me over. "Well, you don't exactly look on top of the world, but at least you got a little sleep yesterday." I feel my cheeks heat up as I remember cuddling with Jay.
"Someone's blushing." River smirks at me. "Am not." I say, trying to hide my smile. "Yeah, yeah, sure you aren't. I'm willing to bet money you called him already."
I bite my lip. "Yeah... he didn't answer though." River shrugs. "He's probably still sleeping right now. Give it some time." I sigh, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Yeah, I guess so." "C'mon, we've got a lot to do today." He says, motioning for me to follow him.
I reluctantly go with him and start to work on some number crunching for the event.
After a while I let out a huff of frustration. "This would be much better organized if we could put all these numbers and plans on an online document. I'm going to go get my laptop so we can figure this out better."
"Alright. Actually, Emerson should be here soon too and it's nearly lunch time. Why don't you just go pick up some food for all of us while you're at it? I can pay you back." I nod and grab my keys, waving to him on my way out.
I check my phone again, hoping for some kind of response from Jay, but there's nothing. I bit my lip and text him against my better judgment. 'Call me?'
I slip my phone back into my pocket and try not to worry about it as I figure out where to get food from. An idea clicks into place and I rush the last few steps into my apartment to grab my laptop before leaving again.
As I head outside, I check my phone again only to find that he's left me on read. I let out a sigh but put on a determined face and drive hurriedly to my destination.
The restaurant is pretty crowded when I rush in, but I spot Devon at the front counter and stride confidently to him. "Oh hey Ben! How're you doing?" He greets with a smile.
I rub the back of my neck with an awkward smile. "I've... been better." He finishes scribbling something on a piece of paper and raises an eyebrow at me. "What's up?"
I lean an elbow on the countertop and let my head rest in my hand as I aimlessly draw invisible shapes across the counter top that separates us.
"Jay and I..." I pause. "We kind of had a fight." He grimaces. "Over what?" I sigh. "Well... the other day he'd seemed really shaken up after looking at his phone. His eyes were just staring glassily at the screen and his hands were shaking. I could tell something was bothering him but he didn't say anything and disappeared down the hall, locking himself in the bathroom."
I purse my lips and squeeze my eyes shut as my next sentence tumbles out and I begin to ramble. "I know I shouldn't have but I was worried and I looked at his phone and someone sent him a really mean message and..." I trail off.
"He got mad at you for looking at his phone?" Devon questions. I nod, not meeting his gaze.
He lets out a sigh. "Jay does get really defensive about some things. It's not entirely your fault. He's got some emotional trust issues due to some things he went through last year and it tends to show in strange ways. I'd say just give him some space for now."
I bite my lip. "I tried that... the problem is I've been so worried about him with all the medical stuff he's got going on and he doesn't reply to anything I send, resulting in even more concern on my part." I huff.
Devon's eyebrows scrunch together. "Wait, I thought he just overworked himself? Isn't he supposed to be fine now? Coach told us he's coming back to practice tomorrow."
I freeze up. "He was supposed to take a week's worth of rest." I mutter. "Then why's he coming back tomorrow?" Devon wonders aloud.
His eyes widen. "Holy shit. I bet his dad bribed the coach. A lot of our parents have been pushing for us to get the title this year, especially his dad."
I bite my lip and shake my head. "Jay might look fine on the outside most of the time, but he isn't. There's a whole set of problems we haven't even begun to look at. My dad and I are plugging away with the research team but we need to run tests and... Oops." I cover my mouth. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that."
Devon's faces shifts to a concerned expression. "But he's going to be playing anyway... This isn't good."
I sigh. "No kidding. I don't think I can legally go around his dad, as Jay's not quite 18. Our hands are tied at the moment, plus he's not even talking to me." We sit in silence.
I blink a few times and shake my head. "Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be picking up lunch for my crew." I admit sheepishly. Devon laughs. "Now that I can do something about." He slides a menu to me and I list off the orders.
"Let me take this back to my dad quick. He should have it ready by the time we finish talking." He disappears behind a wall, returning a moment later. "You know, even if he's not talking to you, that doesn't mean you can't keep an eye on him. You could come to practice tomorrow. I mean, I'll keep an eye on him on the field too but I'm guessing you'll have better piece of mind this way." He says, shrugging.
I nod. "Is there anywhere he's less likely to spot me?" "There's this area by the bleachers that has pretty good cover from the rest of the field. It shouldn't be too hard for you to find."
He pulls a napkin from nearby and starts drawing a rough map. "Here. I'll give you my phone number too just in case." He slides it across the counter and I put it in my pocket. "Thanks. I should give you mine too." I jot it down on another napkin as he goes back to check on the food. We exchange across the counter and I give him a quick wave as I leave.
Jay's P. O. V.
I come down the stairs, rubbing my eyes sleepily after the nap that I hoped would ease my headache. Shouting echoes down the hall, pounding in my head.
I sigh with frustration, looking over at Alexa who's on the couch as usual. "I take it mom's back?" I ask. She nods with a grimace. "I'm surprised they didn't wake you up earlier with all that arguing." I shrug and yawn.
The shouting in the background is becoming increasingly louder. I purse my lips. "I think I'm going to change and go for a run." I say, turning back to the stairs. "Are you sure you should be doing that?" Lex worries.
I sigh. "I need to go blow off some steam, okay? I'll be fine." I head up to my room and throw on some workout clothes, grabbing my house key and phone while I'm there.
I run downstairs and give Lex a quick wave before going out the door. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I check it to find another message from Ben.
I read it and ignore him. Doesn't he realize I don't want to talk to him right now?
I set out at a jog in the opposite direction of Ben's apartment, even though I don't usually go this way.
The sky is cloudy and a slight wind blows through the air, leaving an unsettling chill in my bones.
My phone buzzes again and I struggle to pull it out of my pocket while running. I type in the passcode angrily, assuming it's Ben again.
Instead I open it to find another anonymous message. 'Don't know why you're bothering to come to practice tomorrow. No one wants a fag like you around.'
I clench my teeth and take a shuddering breath in, trying to tell myself that it's not a big deal. I angrily shove my phone in my pocket and pick up the pace on my run.
The wind makes my hair fly in every direction, but I no longer care. I grit my teeth and go even faster, trying to focus on the thump of my heart and the sound of my feet slapping the pavement instead of the issues that cloud my mind.
I'm fed up with everything: my parents fighting, the texts, being at odds with Ben, and all my stupid health problems. Every time I try to get rid of a problem or I think that it's disappeared, it just pops up again.
The scenery flies by as I grunt and push myself further. Shapes and colors start to appear in my vision and I slow down with Lex's words echoing in my head. 'Are you sure you should be doing that?'
I come to a stop and sit in the grass just outside the soccer complex. My head is spinning now and I'm struggling to catch my breath.
I pull my knees up and lie my head on them as another wave of dizziness falls over me. The air around me is filled with the sound of me panting heavily.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, wondering if I should call someone. I lay back against the grass and scroll through my contact list, blinking rapidly as I try to see through my spotty vision.
My finger hovers over Ben's contact, considering calling him back. The thoughts of our fight pop into my head, making me clench my teeth and continue to scroll through the numbers.
I give up and set my phone down, lying there and trying to refocus my vision.
When the dark spots finally fade, I get up slowly and start walking back home.
My phone buzzes with a short text from Devon. 'Excited to have you back at practice tomorrow, let me know if you need anything man.'
I let a small smile creep onto my face and message him back. 'Thanks, will do.'
I arrive back at home and unlock the door, entering an unusually quiet house. The living room and kitchen are empty, and even as I head upstairs I find no one.
I shoot a text to Lex asking where everyone is and receive a reply seconds later. 'Family dinner and it's awful ð¬ Will bring back food for you.'
I decide to take a quick shower before they return even though I'm exhausted.
I step out with shaky legs as I finish washing off, finding myself gripping the edge of the counter because of how lightheaded I am. I'm halfway dressed, now only shirtless when my vision is nearly gone.
I grip the counter tightly, my knuckles and fingers tensing as I try to rid myself of the disorienting feeling that doesn't seem to be fading any time soon. The dark spots overtake my vision completely and I lose my bearings.