I awake to the sound of clattering. As I sleepily open my eyes, I process that I'm still in Ben's bed.
I pull off the covers, yawning, and make my way out to the kitchen where the noises are coming from. My feet drag on the floor as I wander over to the barstools and sit down.
Ben looks up from his cooking with messy bedhead. I smile at him sleepily. "Morning." I greet him. "Good morning," he responds, eyes twinkling. "You okay with eggs and bacon?" I nod, watching him pull out pans and ingredients.
He's biting his lip again, this time in concentration, and I have to resist the urge to kiss him. He glances up at me, catching me staring. I quickly look away.
"How are you feeling?" he asks. I sit for a moment, assessing myself. "Definitely better than last night," I mumble. "That reminds me," he says, "I made you another appointment with my dad later today. After breakfast, I'll take you home for a bit so you can shower and such. I'll pick you up around 4:30 for the appointment and then we can do supper together again. Sound okay?" I nod, trying to mask my excitement.
He slides a plate across the counter. "Dig in." I pull a heavily loaded fork to my mouth and close my eyes at the amazing flavor. 'Damnnnn. This boy can cook too.' I think. "This is AMAZING." I compliment him. He smiles and... is that a slight blush or did I imagine it?
Before long my plate is completely clear. Ben swipes it away with a smile, starting on the dishes. "Ben?" I say. He looks up from the suds of the sink. "Hm?" I pause, unsure how to voice what I want to ask. Actually, there's a lot of things I want to ask him, but I've chosen to start with an easier question.
"Why were you up so late last night?" He glances at me. "Oh, I was just... working on something." he shrugs. I can tell he's hiding something, but I decide not to push him. My head still aches, but I don't say anything. He seems to worry about me enough.
I run a hand through my hair, thinking of how my father will probably react to all this. Not only this, I'm getting attached to Ben. I've started to notice every little thing about him. I'm still wearing his clothes that I slept in, but I'm hesitant to change back into my clothes from yesterday.
"By the way, I plugged your phone in by the bed last night. It should be sitting on the nightstand." Ben tells me. I look up at him, slightly startled out of my own thoughts. His green eyes are peering at me. "You okay?" he questions. "Yeah, I'm fine."
I push away from the counter and wander down the hall to grab my phone. I open it, finding more messages from my sister. 'Your friend better not be a girl.' I laugh inwardly. Well no, my friend isn't a girl. I scroll, finding another. "When are you coming home?" I look at the clock, realizing how late in the morning it is. 'Should be home by 11.' I type back.
I slide my phone into my pocket and move back to the living room, ignoring my throbbing headache. Ben spots me as soon as I walk in.
"I'm almost ready. I just want to get these plates dried and put away quickly before we go," he says. I walk over to him, picking up a towel and silently helping him. "You don't have to do that," he says, stopping mid dry. I snatch the plate from his fingers. "I want to," I say defiantly, drying off the plate and putting it in the cabinet. He lets a small smile escape. I put away the last dish and Ben grabs his car keys.
We head out the door and climb into the car. As I buckle myself I think back to yesterday. He couldn't be gay too, could he? The way his soft fingers were so gentle and seemingly loving... I'm thrown for a loop. But no... his dad is a doctor, so he just has an instinct to help people I'm sure. I'm no different than anyone else.
We pull into my driveway and I freeze for a moment, suddenly realizing I'm still wearing Ben's clothes. I turn to him. "I'm still wearing your clothes," I say. "Yes?" he says. He blinks at me for a moment. "I'm going to see you again later. You can just return them then." I try to fend off a blush, feeling a little silly. My clothes are still at his house too, but I guess I'm going back there as well so it doesn't matter.
I look back at my house, reluctant to head inside. I'll have to tell my father why I won't be attending football practice this week and I'm not looking forward to it. Ben puts a hand on my arm as if reading my thoughts. "It's okay. I will be back at 4:30 to pick you up. You have an escape route this time." I smile softly. Ben... my new escape route. I look into his eyes. "Thank you," I say sincerely. I want to kiss him goodbye too, but I know that would cause a lot of questions and issues.
I climb out of the car and wave as he drives away. I steady my thoughts with a deep breath and walk through the door. My sister is curled up on the couch, scrolling on her phone. "Hey, you're back. Dad wants to talk to you." She looks me up and down. "Those aren't your clothes. What gives?" "Borrowed clothes to sleep in and didn't bother to change. I'll give them back later. Where's dad?" She nods her head towards the hallway. "In his office." I walk down the hall, dreading a conversation with him.
I push the door open with a creak. "You wanted to talk to me?" I say. He continues to type away on his laptop. "Just wanted to make sure you had enough time to get ready for practice." I rub the back of my neck. "About that..." I trail off.
He looks up, and I sigh. "I'm supposed to take the week off," I say, trying to make it seem like it's not a big deal. He stares at me. "Why is the coach giving the team a week off? You guys have training to do! You have to be ready for the start of the season! This is ridiculous. I'm calling him." He picks up his phone. "Wait!" I exclaim. He sets it down, waiting for me to talk.
"It's not the whole team... It's just me." "What do you mean?" he thunders. "He can't just bench one of his best players from practice!" I shake my head. "It's not like that," I say. I take another deep breath. "I kind of... passed out the other day when I was running and hit my head pretty hard. My friend took me to the doctor and the doctor suspended me from this week's activities and told me I have to rest." He blinks at me before exploding.
"Who does this doctor think he is? He can't take a week away from your practice! You've got a game to prepare for!" I bite my lip, listening as he yells. I flinch as he rants with excessive volume. "Should just call this doctor..." He mutters.
I silently slip out of the office and pass through the living room. My sister looks at me with wide eyes. "What'd you do this time?"
I shake my head. "I have to take the week off football. He's not happy, and no, I don't want to talk about it." I drag my feet up the stairs and plop onto my bed once I get to my room. I sigh again. I knew that wasn't going to be easy, and it surely won't get any better. What am I going to do when he finds out I'm gay?
I pull clothes randomly out of my drawer, then pause. I'm going to see Ben again. I pull out something a little nicer and hop in the shower, trying to wash away all my thoughts.
My head is still throbbing, but I ignore it, hoping it will become a dull ache. I thought maybe the steam from the hot water would help, but it doesn't seem to do anything.
I let the water wash over me for a bit before climbing out and getting dressed. When I enter my room I spot a stack of papers on the bed. I pick one up, realizing they're lists of colleges my dad recommends. At the bottom is a note in all caps: TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS. I sigh, clicking a picture of the first page. I turn the page then stop. Why am I even doing this? I shove the papers in my desk drawer and go to delete the photo from my phone.
The picture goes into my trash and the one before it pulls up. I blink in confusion. What is this a picture of and when did I take it? I zoom in so I can read it better. It's a piece of paper with scribbled writing on it: 'In case you need anything; just text me. -Ben'. I smile. Turns out I did get his number after all. I quickly input it into my contacts and head downstairs to get something to eat.
I pass my older sister who's still lying on the couch. "Hungry?" I ask. She sits up. "Actually I just made food. There are leftovers in the fridge if you want some." I pull out sandwiches and soup then grab some pills, hoping to stop my headache. She raises an eyebrow at me. "You're not hungover are you?" I scoff in her direction. "I would like to think that you know I'm more responsible than that." She raises her hands defensively. "Okay okay. Just making sure you aren't being stupid." I shake my head in disbelief, quickly finishing off my food.
I head back upstairs to play video games for a few hours until Ben arrives. Just as I'm about to sit on my bed, a shockwave of pain runs through me. I clutch my head, dropping onto the mattress. Pain is rocketing through my skull and it's all I seem to be able to think about.
'Ben.' A voice in my head suggests. I pull out my phone with shaky fingers, trying to focus enough to pull up his contact. I hesitate, wondering what to say.
Another wave of pain hits me, deciding for me. 'Any way you can come sooner?' I type. I drop my phone on my chest and try to keep my breathing controlled as I await a response.
My phone vibrates seconds later and I pull up the message. 'Ofc. Be there in 10. You feeling okay?' My hands shake as I type up a response. 'Not really. Ring the doorbell and my sister will let you in. I'm upstairs.' I text my sister quickly, telling her to let Ben in when he arrives.
I've broken into a sweat and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on throughout this. The meds I took haven't made an ounce of difference. The pain is the same as before, if not worse.
My fists are clenched and my eyes are squinted shut. I'm frozen in agony and I'm disoriented. I hear what sounds like a set of footsteps come up the stairs. A hand appears on my arm. "Jay?" I open my eyes to find Ben perched on the edge of my bed.
"Is this the first time that this happened since yesterday?" he asks gently. I manage to nod my head slightly. His brow furrows in thought. "Have you taken any meds yet?" I nod again. His face shifts to a mask of concern.
"Do you want to stay here or go to mine?" He asks softly. "Yours," I whisper. He nods in understanding. "Let's sit for a bit and see if you feel any better before we go down okay?" He seems to understand that I don't want my family seeing me like this and asking questions. For that, I'm grateful. I lay waiting for what seems like years.
Eventually, the pain fades and I slowly sit up, Ben keeping an eye on me. "Do you need anything from here before we go?" I look around the room once, assessing. I shake my head and we slowly head downstairs together. "Won't be back for a while," I say to my sister. She squints suspiciously but nods as I close the front door.