Two days later, Helos takes me back into the city. Again, it is nighttime and I am cuffed to him, though I donât hesitate this time when he holds his hand out for my wrist.
I trust him, not completely, but enough to know that he wonât hurt me.
We walk back through the same gate and drawbridge. Only this time, he leads me down a different street. We can hear music slowly getting louder as the castle fades into the background behind us.
Helos holds my cuffed hand in his, and I canât help but squeeze it in excitement. He lets out a small chuckle, and I grin at him from beneath the hood of my cloak.
Itâs almost like weâre friends now.
Ahead, I can see where the music is coming from. A small band is playing and there are people dancing, laughing, celebrating, by the looks of it. I pause to watch when we get close enough.
Helos stands beside me. He doesnât say anything or give any hint that he wants to move on.
He seems content to do whatever I want, to look at whatever I want, to let me have these brief moments for myself.
âDo you want to dance?â he asks after a while.
I shake my head, looking up at him. âI donât know how,â I reply. âNo one has ever taught me, and when would I have had the opportunity to learn? I spent most of my life hiding, running, or locked away.â
âThen itâs time you did learn,â Helos says, gripping my hand tighter, pulling me into the throng of dancers.
âI canât,â I gasp even as he holds my cuffed hand and lifts my other to rest on his chest.
âItâs easy, Iâll tell you what to do,â he replies.
I shake my head as he wraps his other arm around me. I can feel the grip of it against the small of my back through the thick fabric of my cloak.
âStep back with your right leg,â he says.
And I do it. I do it in spite of myself.
âNow step forward againâ¦â
I do as he says, and little by little, he teaches me this dance. We are slow, much slower than everyone around us, but it doesnât matter. I am dancing. Not brilliantly. Not even smoothly, but I am doing it.
I look up at Helos grinning, and his eyes are glowing more hypnotically than ever.
âIâm going to spin you,â he says.
âDonât,â I say, but itâs too late because he does it anyway, and before I know what is happening, the world is spinning in a haze of colors and I land back in his arms.
âSee that wasnât so bad,â he murmurs.
I laugh before pulling my hood more firmly over my head. The last thing I need is for it to come off and for everyone here to realize who is dancing so badly among them all.
We dance a little longer. The music changes, the dance changes with it, and Helos begins to teach me this new one, but itâs more complicated, and I step on his feet at least a dozen times, though he doesnât seem to mind.
Around us, everyone spins in unity, and we are the only ones who donât. Heâs holding me close to him, but not too close.
Our bodies are not pressed tightly, and Iâm grateful that in this moment the creature inside me is not making an appearance.
That I have this moment just for me. Just for myself.
As the spin in the dance comes round again, Helos asks if I am ready, and I nod.
He spins me just as every other woman spins, and I let out a laugh as he catches me.
The hood has slipped and the very top of my hair is exposed. We both move to grab it, to cover me, but Helos gets there first, and I drop my hand, letting him do it.
He pulls the hood carefully back up. No one has noticed. They are too busy with their own amusement to notice anyone around them.
But Helos hasnât dropped his hand. It is still there on the edge of my hood, and I can feel his fingers brushing against my cheek. My mouth is open and Iâm sucking in the tiniest bit of air.
I know what I will see if I look at him right this second.
What we will both see.
So, I keep my eyes shut and only open them when his hand is back around me again.
And then itâs as if this moment, this fleeting second never happened. At least, we both pretend it. Just like when he licked my fingers. We both move on, acting like nothing is there.
When the band stops playing, we walk away and Helos stops by a street stall to buy some food. This time, Iâm the one smirking slightly as he orders two portions of what looks like some strange meat in a sauce.
âHere,â he says, passing me a small bag.
âAre you trying to make me fat?â I tease as I look at the greasiness.
Thankfully, thereâs a little wooden fork thing to eat with, so I donât have to pick it with my fingers, not that I would have minded doing it.
But after the whole chocolate thing, I donât want to create any more âsituationsâ between us.
He laughs. âNot intentionally, though I suppose you would be just as beautiful if you were fat.â
I laugh too and tuck it in. Whatever it is, it tastes much better than it looks. But as I take a second bite, itâs like my mouth is on fire.
âGods, what is that?â I ask.
âChili,â he says and I swear I can see something mischievous in his eyes. âHave you not had it before?â
âNo,â I say, trying not to cough. It isnât even that bad. It tastes incredible, but then I eat some red thing and now I think I might be dying.
He laughs at my face. âYouâre not meant to eat the actual chillies,â he states.
âThen why are they in there?â
He shrugs. âTo give flavor. We like our food seasoned, spicy.â
âIâm learning that,â I mutter.
âThis is one of my favorites,â he says.
I smile at him, though Iâm not sure why. âItâs delicious,â I reply.
âExcept for the chillies?â he asks.
âMaybe if I donât eat them.â
When weâre done eating, we retreat back to the castle. I donât know how late it is, but I know weâve stayed out longer than last time.
When we reach my door, he uncuffs me, and Iâm so aware of all the guards around us. I look up at his eyes, trying to ignore them, trying to fade them out.
âThank you,â I say.
He smiles before bowing, leaving me to it, and I slip back into my room and quietly shut the door.
***
That night, I dream of him. Of us. Of the sea.
That I am there. That he has taken me to some beach. With no one to watch us, no one to see, he lets me swim. He lets me be free.
I walk out steadily as the waves come in low over my feet. The water is cold, but itâs so soothing. I can see the sea foam, hear the sound of the water as the tide comes in and goes back out.
Itâs like the most beautiful song Iâve ever heard.
I donât look back. I know he is there, standing just where the tide canât reach. The water is up to my hips, my waist. My legs feel light, and my body is alive with the knowledge that I am here, in real salt water.
I can sense the fish far off the coastline, the dolphins too. If I want, I could call to them, beckon them to me, but I donât. I just stand here, soaking this sea in, welcoming it, letting the creature inside me revel in it too.
I walk out a little further. The waves are crashing around me, and if I were human, I would probably be pushed over by their force.
I turn and look back.
Helos is there, standing exactly where I left him. He is watching me intently, but he doesnât look concerned.
I dip the last of my body under the water, submerging my head, pulling my dress off. I have no need for human clothes.
And then I stand back up. The water is back at my waist. My hair is hanging wet down my back and my breasts are exposed for Helos to see if he chooses to look.
And he does.
His eyes are glowing more than ever. Heâs staring at me with such intensity now I canât look away. He takes a step forward and then pauses like he isnât sure whether to join me or remain on the land.
I want to thank him, for his kindness, for the fact that he has given me this moment of freedom, but more than that, I want to feel him. ~Really~ feel him.
I hold out my hand toward him and he doesnât hesitate.
He runs to me, lunges at me, and his whole body engulfs me. His clothes are soaked, his boots are ruined, but he doesnât care. His sole focus is on me, and as his hands run across my bare skin, I let out a noise.
A noise I have never made.
A noise I have never known how to make.
A noise I have never dared utter.
I wake, gasping. I know I didnât make the noise out loud, but it is there in my head. My call. My song. My real voice. My old voice.
The one that taunts, that torments.
That beguiles.
The call that would bring a man to his knees, that could crush his heart with its vibrations.