Chapter 32: Chapter 32: Lines in the Sand

Issar makes his move two days later.

I don’t know how he knows, but I can only assume someone from the Council is spying for him and betraying us.

Issar declares war, destroying city after city, and Helos raises his army against him.

The lines have been set.

Our world is at war.

His capital begins to fill as refugees flock to the safety of our walls, and all the while I am riddled with guilt because I have done this.

I have caused this.

Helos spends his days with his generals, planning, strategizing, and I know if he could, he would be out there, leading his army, fighting alongside them.

Brandar has left, returning with Amera to her home with enough soldiers to ensure they hold the land if Issar decides to attack from the east.

And I spend my days hauled up in these rooms, too guilty, too concerned by what everyone must think of me, to think of leaving.

Because the entire castle knows. The entire city knows.

Everyone knows.

That this war is about me.

A warlord versus a king.

Both intent on winning.

Both intent on keeping me.

And as the bodies start to pile up, I wonder not for the first time why I am worth the cost of this.

***

Helos walks into my room. It’s still afternoon and I look up, frowning, because usually, he is not back till well after the sun is down.

He smiles at me and I get up from my seat and cross the room before kissing him.

“How is it going?” I ask.

He shrugs. “We have just beaten his soldiers back from the Vale,” he replies.

“That’s a good thing?”

I never had proper schooling. All my knowledge of this land, its geography I’ve picked up from conversations with King Rufus, and he didn’t exactly discuss such things with me on a regular occurrence.

“It is for the moment, though Issar is no doubt planning a counterattack as we speak.”

I nod, watching him. There’s something about his face, his expression, that’s off, and suddenly I feel nervous.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Do you remember when I used to sneak you out?” he says.

“How can I forget?” I tease; only he doesn’t smile.

His eyes don’t glow with amusement and I frown more.

“I want to take you somewhere. Tonight,” he states.

“Where?” I ask.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” I say without hesitating because whatever this is, whatever he is thinking, I know he won’t hurt me.

“Come then,” he says, walking to the dressing room and grabbing my cloak.

“Now?” I say.

“It’s a long ride.”

I nod.

He throws the cloak over my shoulders, pulling the hood in the same way he always does, and then he retrieves his own, and we walk down through the castle.

I can feel the glances, the stares, the whispers when they think we are far enough out of earshot.

Helos leads me through to the stables and I see his warhorse waiting just like when he took me to the caves.

I glance at him and he meets my look with something unreadable. He lifts me up and puts me gently into the saddle.

He climbs in behind me, and I feel the warmth of him, the heat, the hardness of his body as one arm tucks around my waist and the other holds the reins.

We walk slowly out of the yard. The horse’s hooves clap loudly onto the cobbles, and though both our hoods are up, anyone who cares to look would see their king riding out with me.

I don’t ask where we’re going. I don’t make any conversation, choosing to sit in silence, and let his presence alone be my company.

As soon as we pass the city walls, Helos kicks the horse into a canter, and we race away, away from the city, away from the castle, away from it all.

We ride for hours.

My legs grow numb, but I don’t complain. I don’t say a word.

Night is beginning to fall, and I stare around, focusing on the countryside and what little I can now see.

I know he isn’t taking me to the cave. The direction we left in is similar, but the route is different; besides, we would have reached it by now.

As his horse slows to a trot, I can smell something alluring in the air, and I can’t hide the gasp when I realize what it is.

I turn to face him, to look at him, and he meets my eyes but says nothing.

We come to a stop. Helos pulls me from the horse.

I am almost drunk on the smell now.

It fills my senses, it fills every part of me. It’s so much stronger than last time, so much more intoxicating.

Helos secures his horse, and then he takes my hand, leading me down through the rocks onto the tiny beach nestled among the cliffs.

The water is illuminated by the last of the sunset. The tiny pebbles that make up this beach glow as the failing light and the tide catch their smooth surfaces.

We stop meters from where the water is, and I can hear it, the rush, the gentle shh as the water glides over the shore before creeping back again.

“Why are we here?” I ask, turning to face him.

It doesn’t make sense. If he wanted me to swim, why did he not just take me to the cave? Why did he bring me so far?

“Amera said something to me at her wedding. It’s stuck in my head ever since,” he replies, taking my hands.

“What?” I ask.

“That we are all so focused on fighting over you that no one has considered what you want, what you really want.”

“But I already told you…” I begin.

He shakes his head. “You are not something to fight over, not something to possess, to control. You deserve to be free, truly free.”

“What are you saying?” I ask.

I’m trembling now. The creature inside me is trembling. I know Helos can feel it.

“You belong out there. In the sea. With your family. With your people. You don’t belong in the cages we have constructed for you. The prisons we have made for our own desires.”

“Helos…” I gasp.

He shakes his head slightly, dropping his hands, and mine fall from his grasp.

“Go, Kera. You deserve your freedom. You deserve to properly live,” he states.

I look away from him, staring at the sea, staring at the beauty of it, of the tantalizing depth of its waters.

I know if I do this, I will be free.

I will be back where I belong, where the gods intended for me to live.

I’ve not been in true open water in so long that my body is yearning, aching, screaming for it.

To be there, to be swimming knowing no land is close to me, knowing the sea floor is so far beneath my feet and the only thing around me is the other sea life.

That no man can find me there, no man could catch me, hurt me.

Issar would never find me.

He’d never be able to.

I shake my head.

The smell of the sea is seducing me, luring me in, but I can hear it, the voice, the call inside myself. The creature doesn’t want this. I don’t want this either.

I know there is safety, freedom, everything I have yearned for so long, but I also know if I do this, I will never see Helos again.

I turn my back and I can see him.

He’s walking away. He can’t look. He’s almost at the rocks and off the beach entirely.

My heart is thumping in my chest. My blood is pounding louder than ever. I run after him and grab his arm, wrenching him back round.

He frowns at me as if I am mad.

“I can’t,” I gasp, throwing myself into his arms, hoping he will catch me, and thank the gods he does.

“You have to, Kera. It’s where you belong,” he says.

I shake my head, burying it in the fabric of his cloak. “No, I don’t,” I mumble. “I belong with you.”

“What are you saying?” He sighs.

“I love you,” I say, and his body freezes.

“Say that again,” he says.

I pull away slightly, raising my head so that I can meet his eyes. “I love you,” I say louder.

“Kera,” he growls, pulling me back into him. “I love you too and that’s why I have to do this. I have to let you go.”

“No, you don’t,” I cry. “You said we could fight the monsters together. You promised me.”

“Don’t you want to be with your family?” he asks.

“My family is dead,” I say, and he frowns. “You’re all I have. Please don’t do this.”

He grabs my face in his hands and kisses me.

I moan as his lips crash into mine and his tongue forces its way into my mouth. His kiss is so urgent, so longing that I grab at his shirt, my hands balling into fists, kissing him just as hard back.

He pulls me down onto the stones, and we sit there, entangled in each other’s arms, staring at the water for what feels like forever.

In truth, there is a part of me that wants to go in, dive in, pull Helos in with me. It feels like my dream from so long ago. When I found my voice, when I found my song.

My skin is itching for just a taste of the water, just a taste of the sea.

“How is your whole family dead?” he asks quietly.

I blink, turning to look at him, pulling my eyes away from the smooth waves of the water. “They were taken. One by one. Hunted by men.”

“How do you know all of them are gone?”

“When we die, our souls return to the water. We can feel it. Our family around us. That’s how I know they are dead,” I explain.

“So, you meant it when you said drowning yourself would mean you would be with your family.”

“Yes,” I reply quietly.

“How did you end up at King Rufus’s court?”

“Some sailors had caught me in their nets,” I explain. “They’d locked me in the ship’s hold while they had their fun, and one of them was stupid enough to boast about it while drunk in the tavern.

“Word got out; it turned into a riot, and King Rufus’s soldiers had to be dispatched. Rufus found me close to death and he nursed me back.”

“And yet no one except him knew who you were?” he asks.

I shrug. “There were rumors. King Rufus told people I was a nymph. It made sense because of how I looked and no one even thought to consider I might be something else.”

“And everyone thought you were his mistress?” he says.

I nod. “Yes, although we both denied it. It broke his heart that people thought he was capable of that, that he would behave like that, but he endured the comments to keep me safe. And Amera hated me for it.”

“She doesn’t hate you now.”

“No. Although I think I have you to thank for that,” I say, smiling.

“How so?” he asks.

“You saved her. You saved all those women sold at the auction.”

“I only did what was right,” he states.

“You did more than that.”

He glares at the water. “The war was illegal. Those women shouldn’t have been sold. You shouldn’t have been sold.”

“It’s over now,” I say quietly.

“And I will never let anything like that happen to you again,” he states.

“So, you’re not forcing me to stay here then?” I ask.

“I can hardly leave you here after what you’ve just said,” he says, smirking.

I roll my eyes. “Well, while we’re here, how about we enjoy the sea a little?” I reply.

“You want to go in?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say before biting my lip. “The episode I had, when I had to lock myself in the bathroom, I dreamed that we were at the sea. That you brought me to the water and that I sang to you.”

His eyes widen. “Seriously?” he says.

I stand up, dropping the cloak, and undo my dress as he watches me with a hunger so deep in his eyes that I want to pounce on him.

“Come into the water, King Helos,” I say, stepping back slowly, allowing him to watch as the waves slowly embrace my body.