I walk over to the lunch line, "I can't believe she's still eating with that weight", I hear a girl say to her friends and they all laugh.
Nothing new though. I always get bullied. I look down at my tray moving forward. When I'm done taking my food I search for an empty table. It all seems to be full today. I walk over to some girls who are just three on the table. There's still a lot of space if they could just allow me.
"Um hey can I sit here?", I ask and they turn over to me. Their neutral looks quickly turns to one of disgust.
"Ew no", the brunette in the middle says and so I walk away. Never thought I was that irritating to human eyes.
I move to another table, "Can I-", I instantly get cut off.
"Don't even think about it fat girl", The blonde girl says and I back away. They start laughing and I hold back my tears turning away from them. My eyes are getting clouded and my vision blurry. As I try to wipe them away I'm unaware of the leg that's been stuck out for me. It gets in the way and I end up tripping over it. My tray slides away and I'm lucky enough not to fall face flat on the floor. I use my hands to hold the fall so it's not too bad. My knees are the victims and since I already got bruised in the morning due to the fall on the stairs they hurt even more. Their laughter becomes louder and I can feel the hot tears brimming over my eyes.
I help myself up and the first thing I see is Noah's eyes looking at me. They look sad but mine looks even worse. I run out of the cafeteria and to the girls bathroom. I get into a stall. One of my favorites. It's always empty and it kinda holds memories. Tearful memories.
I put down the lid and sit on it. I let myself cry. I don't hold back any tears from falling. I hate this. I hate being bullied. I hate being looked down on. I hate being so helpless. I'm useless. I'm disgusting and I shouldn't even let people see me. I should spare them the trauma.
There's a knock on my stall and so I quickly blow my nose with a tissue and flush. I didn't expect someone to use this one. When I open the stall I'm faced with Noah.
"You okay?", He asks and I nod walking to the sink. I don't want his pity now. I might just end up crying more than I intend to.
"I'm sorry-",
"It's fine. You're not the one who tripped me", I say.
"I should have helped", he says clearing the scattered hair on my face. All my efforts to get it straightened this morning has all gone down to the drain.
"It's okay you don't have to go against your friends just because of me", I say looking into the mirror to meet his eyes.
"My friends?", He asks.
"You hang out with them don't you?", I ask. The girl who tripped me was a cheerleader, the captain of the cheer squad actually and you know guys in the football team like girls in the cheer team so they're super popular. I see her most times coming out of his car.. the both of them kissing. I mentally shudder.
"Yeah but that doesn't mean-", I interrupt.
"Did you go over their table to warn them or maybe to fight for me?", I ask and he looks away. I thought so. I turn the faucet on then splash some water in my eyes before dabbing them with the sleeve of my jacket.
"Abby I'm-",
"I have to go to class", I cut him off.
"Ok I'll walk you", he says and my cheeks taint. If he walks me then that just means more stares, more insults and maybe more bullying.
"No", I decline timidly and he uses a hand to pull me close.
"Why don't you want me to walk you to class?", he asks bringing his face closer to mine. I step back and he steps forward trapping me against the sink.
"I..", I trail looking away.
He pushes my chin so I'm facing him, "Are you.. scared of something?", He asks and I shake my head.
"No. It's.. it's just", I breath down, "It's not right for someone like me to walk with someone like you", I let out in a rush and he squint his eyes in confusion.
"What'd you mean someone like you?. There's no difference between us Abby", he says and I roll my eyes because there is a big difference between us. Our social statues are completely different. I'm just some fat girl who no one likes and he's this idol everyone fantasizes about.
"Although there is a slight difference", he says and I take it that he suddenly realized how socially unrelated we are. Noah pulls his lips close to my ear almost grazing my cheek, "You're way hotter". He pulls away smiling and although I roll my eyes again I'm chuckling lightly.
"Wow so flattering", I say and he chuckles. This is something I love about Noah. He has the ability to lift my mood from wherever dark place the world left it and lighten it up. I think it's a hidden talent.
"So, can I walk you to class now?", He asks and I bite down on my lip contemplating. "C'mon", he urges taking my hand and interlacing it with his.
He tosses me his charming smile and I give him one of mine although I doubt it's as pretty as his, "Okay".
"Great", he says then pulls my bag straps down my shoulders. What in the world is he doing?. "Let me help you with that". I try declining but he forcefully insists taking the bag off my back. I sigh, guess he won this one.
We walk out of the bathroom and I'm glad the bell hasn't rung yet so the hallway is pretty much empty. Just a few people were in it.
"You know.. I've missed you", I say shyly and he smiles down at me.
"Me too", he says back and I frown. He gives me a questioning look.
"Then why haven't you been picking my calls or answering my texts?", I ask and his speechless.
"I've been busy with practice and school work lately", he says and I sigh. Too busy to even text a hi back. Let's just be honest, he's been busy with more than just practice. He totally hasn't been busy with school work cause he hardly attends classes.
"Sure", I say looking forward and he sighs but doesn't say anything.
The bell rings just as Noah stops me in front of my next class. I'm so glad, "Thanks bye", I rush getting into the class. Now I'm starting to think I'm the one who's scared of people seeing us together and not him.
People start walking into the class as I take a seat. I turn to pull my bag.. wait where's my bag?. Oh no Noah. I face palm. This is why I didn't want him carrying it for me. Just as I stand up to go get it the teacher walks in so I sit back down. There's no way Mr Fornals is gonna let me out of his class. He's super strict.
I groan quietly in my seat. I don't even have a single note book on me. I'm so dead. Mr Fornals tells everyone to bring out their textbooks and I'm feeling nauseous. My stomach churns.. okay no that's just me being hungry. I didn't really eat lunch today. How on Earth am I going to make it to the next class?.
Mr Fornals looks my way and my breath seizes. Oh no he's gonna yell at me. He likes yelling so much. Just as he's about to question me the door opens and everyone including him turns to see who it is.
Surprisingly Noah walks in and almost all the girls start swooning over him. Typical Noah, just the sight of his face can cause different scenarios in the head of teenage girls.
"I don't think you're for this class Mr Kushner", Mr Fornals says.
"I'm not", he says and he doesn't need to scan the class before finding me with his eyes. He knows I like sitting next to windows.
"Then why are you here?", Mr Fornals asks him.
"I've got something for one of your students. Could I give it to her?", He asks and with a sigh Mr Fornals allows him in.
Some people or rather everyone even Mr Fornals might think he was coming for some slim pretty girl but in actual reality he was coming to me.
Noah stops at my table and I could her a few people gasp and murmur from behind.
"You forgot your bag", he says shrugging it off his back.
"Thanks", I say as he hands it to me.
"I put something in it", he comes a bit closer to whisper and my hand goes to the zipper but he stops me. "No, open it after the class".
"Mr Kushner, I think it's about time you left my class", Mr Fornals says and Noah pulls himself up.
"Bye princess", he says loud enough for everyone to hear and that just brings more murmuring and stares. I close my eyes shut for a second. God I hate being the center of attention. This is all Noah's fault.
When the class ends I'm reaching for the second zipper of my bag. Obviously I opened my bag even if he said after the class because c'mon how was I supposed to get my books. Nothing was there though so I'm sure he was smart enough to put it in the other compartment of the bag.
I'm smiling ear to ear when I see my favorite chocolate bar in it but then I sigh. He should know I'm trying to lose weight. Maybe that's why he bought just one.
Some girls walk to my table and so I look up. "Gonna explain why Noah came here to meet you?", The one with black hair asks me and the way she emphasizes on the "you" seems like I suddenly turned into a pig.
"He just came to give me my bag", I answer honestly.
"Oh really?", I nod to that, "Why was he with it in the first place?", She asks.
"Well I.. he.. he offered to carry it", Although those words were true they all laugh.
"How pathetic you are to even lie like that",
"Yeah that's so disgusting", the brunette beside her says and I'm wondering who asked for her opinion?.
"He's probably just using her to get his homework done", the third one says and it kinda hits hard cause I do help him with his homework. Is that why he still talks to me?.
"Obvi", the black haired girl says with an over dramatic eye roll. "C'mon girls we have better things to do", she says and they all walk out of the class.
I sigh opening the chocolate bar. Gotta do something you love at one point even if it's like the cause of all your problems.