"Merry Christmas, my beauty," Jaxon mumbles in my ear, his stubble scratching my soft cheek as I sit between his legs with his arms locked around me.
"Merry Christmas, my love," I whisper back, leaning into him as I watch the roar of the fire in the cottage.
We'd opened all of our presents to one anotherâjust a few in number, but great in significance. The talisman I'd given him falls my glance as it sways around his neck and I touch my own. His is a raw, garnet crystal and mine is a raw, amethyst crystalâbased off our birth months.
Jon had spelled them to cloak us in the coming days, but Jaxon didn't exactly know that. I knew he wouldn't want to hide, but would want to fight. Hayes will definitely kill him with the power he has now, so I knew the only way to get it around his neck without a fuss was through a Christmas present. I made him vow to never remove itâan oath he swore that I pray he keeps.
One day I'll tell him why, but for now, I'll keep this secret to myself. I shiver, despite the fire, and untangle myself from Jaxon, "I'm going to go grab a sweater."
"Don't be too long. I'll make hot chocolate," He presses a quick kiss to my cheek as he departs right for the kitchen and I turn left for the stairs.
I close the door behind me once I'm in our room and I go to the closet, pulling out a chenille cardigan and wrapping it about myself. Preceded by a quick glance at the door, I reach to the very right side of the closet, hidden in the back to the pocket of a barely-worn coat of mine. My fingers touch a leather pouch and I breathe a sigh of reliefâIt's still there.
When Jon had given me the talismans, he also gave me some sort of powder that will knock someone out when thrown in their face. I know he gave it to me in case any of Hayes' men came for me, but I also keep it on the off-chance that I have to make Jaxon cooperate. It's not something I want to do, but if it will keep him safe, then I'll do whatever it takes.
Quickly, I close the doors to the closet and head back downstairs where Jaxon is heating some milk in a saucepan. He throws me a beautiful smile and I cross over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and planting my cheek between his shoulder blades. His heart beats solidly in my ear and I sigh. I can't lose him.
"You won't," He suddenly says, and I withdraw my head.
"Are you listening in on my thoughts?" I teasingly ask, though I hope he hasn't been doing this all along or he'll know my plans.
"You weren't exactly keeping them quiet," He laughs, then turns serious. "But you won't lose me, Isabelle. Whether it's to the Council or to Hayes. Everything will be fine. We'll get through it together."
"I know," I mumble, hugging him again.
So I told him the gist of what Jon had said about Hayes. I left out the part about the talismans. I had to tell him something to explain my absence in the woods, and in case the gemstones failed, the pack would have to have a back-up plan.
It's been twelve days since Jon's message. That means we only have six more days until the actual event. I'm unsure how I can draw him away from here during the celestial ritual, since he'll want to keep the pack safe and fight for me. Maybe the talisman will be enough.
Maybe it won't.
"Hey," He suddenly says, turning around to look at me. Cupping my cheeks in his hands, he observes me, "What's wrong?"
I shrug, "Nothing. Everything is good."
"Isabelle," He says, a warning. "Tell me."
"I promise, I'm fine," I plaster a small smile on my mouth. "Just thinking about everything."
"I can sense your distress," He rakes a hand over the top of my head, thumb swiping gently over my temple. "I will protect you."
"What if I'm not worried about me?" I slip and expose my worries. Before his ego can be offended, I explain myself, "I-I don't want to lose you. What if-What if Hayes kills you? He's much older and he has magic. All we have is physical force. Which one wins? Magic. And if Hayes doesn't kill you, then the Council may... or you'll be put in prison, stripped of your Alpha title, and left to be a rogue for the rest of your life. R-Rogues are stripped of their mates too, Jax... An-And if I lose you, I'll never shift. I'll just become a human. And then I'll be aloneâforever. I won't be able to see you anymore, or any of the pack membersâ"
"Don't fret, my darling," He cuts me off. "Everything will work out in time. Hayes has magic, yes, but so do we. Jonathan said he would help us."
"But he isn't as strong as his brotherâ"
"The Council will make a fair decision. They'll do what's right. Without me, my pack will die out. They don't want the lives of hundreds of wolves on their hands. At most, they'll give me some sort of disciplinary hearing and a temporary punishment."
"What if you're wrong? What if they don't?"
He inhales and exhales slowly before cupping my face again, "If they don't, then you will become a human. Just a normal girl. You won't have to worry about shifting or wolves or mates anymore. You can go to school, get an education, find love, and be happy."
"B-But I'll never see you againâ"
"Under those circumstances, if they happen, that will be the best option for you. As a rogue, I wouldn't be myself. I wouldn't be good for you. I would hurt youâ"
"You hurt me as a regular wolf."
He stares at me for a long moment before I quickly rescind my statement, "I-I'm sorry, that wasn't fair of meâ"
"No, it was perfectly fair," He stops my apology. "You don't need to apologize to me."
I sigh as we sit in the silence for a moment longer, before he speaks up, "My Mother has lunch ready for us. She texted while you were upstairs." He takes the saucepan off the burner and turns off the stove. "We can have hot chocolate when we get back. Get your shoes." He presses a chaste kiss against my temple before moving past me to get his own shoes.
I sigh again, in defeat, and slip on my boots and follow him out to the golf cart parked in the front. In the cold, quiet day he drives us up to the main house where pack members mill about, wishing us joyous tidings as we pass them by.
Inside, Jaxon's mother is handing out plates and serving up dishes to various family and pack members. Annabeth clings to her leg as she does so and I wonder how she manages to be a good mother to all six children. I'm an only child, and even that was too much for my mom. At least, I guess it was, since she left seven years ago and I haven't heard from her since.
I remember when I was young, Christmas was such a huge affair in our house. My parents loved it. It was like we lived in a whole different world where there was only joy and warmth and loveâbut that all ended when my mom left.
After that, my dad couldn't stand the season, or any reminders of her. Her leaving was too much for him, and he paid the price with his life. Severe hatred wells up inside of me at the thought of her. How selfish could she be? She knew what would happen if she left. She knew he couldn't live without her. But she did it anyway, and left me alone for the last three years of my life.
Jaxon nudges my arm, "Are you upset about something?"
His icy blue eyes search me, confused at the sudden rage emanating from me. "Not at you," I smile and loop my hand around his bicep.
"What then?"
"Just... thinking about my parents. My mom, specifically."
"You don't talk about them much."
"I don't like to think about them, truth be told."
"Why?"
I open my mouth, but no sound comes out as I hesitate. Before I have to scramble for words, Annabeth screams, running over to latch onto my leg instead of her mother's. I laugh, still a little uneasy, as I run my hand over her black curls, "Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas Izzy!" She yells and I laugh, reaching down to pick her up. Once she's in my arms, she babbles incoherently about what Santa Claus brought her.
From the other side of me, I feel Jaxon lean into me, his lips brushing my ear, "You're going to make a great mother."
Instead of good feelings, all that overcomes me in uneasiness. I shift Annabeth over to Jaxon and rush to help his mother who is still handing out plates. I mindlessly pass food out, my brain rolling over his words. A great mother? Yes, I've always wanted kids, don't get me wrong. But why did he have to say it now? When our future hangs in the balance from all sides? When there is a huge possibility I will never be a mother to his children?
Plus, I'm only eighteen. I've only been with Jaxon for four months. Most of which have not been pleasant for me. I know they always say werewolves move faster than humans, but this is almost too fast for me. I guess for Jaxon, though, who is twenty-six, this is right on time. Why did the moon goddess ever pair us together? What did she see that I don't? I wish I could speak to her and know the reason for it, but that's impossible, unfortunately.
When everyone has their plate, I finally sit down at the table with Lea and Laurena. They greet me with "Merry Christmas!" and I return the sentiment as I mindlessly munch on the food before me.
"Isabelleâ" Laurena catches my attention and I focus on those icy blue eyes, same as Jaxon's. "Is everything okay? You seem out of it."
"Yeah," I smile, "everything is fine."
"How did your meeting with the Council go? You never told us," Lea questions before she takes a sip of her water.
I shrug, "Well enough. They're going to continue with the investigation, though."
"I heard about the thing with Mistletoe," Laurena murmurs as if she's forgotten that all the wolves in here have super-hearing.
"Yeah, how is that?" Lea joins in with the line of questioning. Of course Laurena knowsâshe's Jaxon's sister. And Lea is the mate of the Beta, so the news reaching her isn't a surprise either.
"Taking it one day at a time, I guess," I shrug again and continue to eat, not in the mood to talk about any of this. It's Christmas. Why can't we just focus on that?
My eyes shift over to where Jaxon is sitting with Jason, Neil, Grant, and Hunter, Laurena's mate. Jaxon's eyes flash over to mineâI see you.
I see you, too.
Everything okay?
Totally fine.
Doesn't seem like it.
I toss him a genuine smile and cut off the telepathic conversation while I finish what's on my plate. Once the others are done as well, Jaxon's family and close friends are all gathered into his study for personal gift-exchanges.
I receive a few more small giftsâa bracelet from Titania, a hair-scarf from Lea, a journal from Grant. Jaxon is last to go, opening presents that contain a new tie, a watch, a pocket knife, and the like. The last is a neatly wrapped square, which he gently dismantles to reveal a wood box, adorned with symbols and carvings over the glazed exterior.
"Open it," Jason instructs, seemingly the giver of the gift. Jaxon tilts the lid back to reveal what's inside. Somehow, I'd ended up on the opposite side of the room from him, so I'm unable to see what it is until he lifts it up. It's another gemstone, about the size of his palm, rough and uncut. The onyx glitters in the light as he holds it up, and he glances over to Jason.
"What's this?"
"It's an onyx stone. I found it in a spell shop over in Louisiana. With the Hayes threat, I thought it would be handy to have. If you say an incantation over it, it will reveal any magical objects in your vicinity."
Oh shitâthe talismans.
"What's the incantation?" Jaxon asks, intently examining the stone.
"It's on the inside of the lid of the box," Jason instructs, and Jaxon tilts it back to read it.
"I don't think there are any magical objects in here, Jax," Laurena jokes and I laugh along with her, hoping to the moon goddess that he doesn't say the incantation right nowâespecially not when my deception will be so public.
Ignoring her, Jaxon allows the Latin to freely flow off his tongue, "Vosmet revelare, non instrumenta magiae."
It's only a brief second before a high pitch sound emits, causing all wolves in the room to wince, the gemstones around our necks begin to float. Fück, fück, fückâ
"Isabelle?" Jaxon looks to me, confused.
"I-I'm not sure why they're floating," I lie.
"Maybe just because they're gemstones," Jason cuts in. "The woman at the shop said they all possess some magic, even if it's only a little."
"That's true," Grant agrees.
"Terminatum est," Jaxon speaks to stop the incantation and the necklaces flop back against our chests, the stone warm from being called by the other.
Although Grant and Jason covered for me with everyone else, I can see the wheels turning in Jaxon's head. He knows I'm lying. He knows there's more magic to them than their natural portion.
"Thank you, Jason. This is going to be very helpful," Jaxon gently puts it away. "Thank you to everyone for your gifts. On behalf of Luna Isabelle and I, Merry Christmas."
"Who wants some more chocolate cake? We have plenty!" Jaxon's Mother offers and as many people speak up, I volunteer to help her retrieve the plates.
I can feel the holes burning into the back of me as Jaxon watches me go, but I don't allow him into my mind, no matter how hard he presses. Once all the cake portions are cut, we disperse them to those who desired them.
When I stop in front of Jaxon, a slice for him in my hand, he doesn't meet my eyes. I place it on the table next to him, and when I go to withdraw, his hand rapidly captures my wrist, holding me there.
The contact burns and pressure builds as he grips me and I twist my hand a little, "Jaxon, you're hurting me."
With my words, he releases my wrist, but catches my fingers in a loose yet decisive grip. "Why are you keeping me out of your head?" He mumbles, his eyes still not meeting mine.
"I-I'm notâ"
"Don't lie."
Despite his quiet tone, I can tell the other wolves in the room can hear him as they awkwardly shift around.
"Now isn't the time for this," I tell him, pulling away and exiting back to the kitchen to help his mother and sisters clean up the remnants of the party.
"Isabelle, let's go," A quarter of an hour later, he beckons me from the entrance of the room.
"I can't just leave them to clean up aloneâ"
"Now, Isabelle. I mean it."
Feeling the eyes of his family on me, I smile for their benefit, "Okay, Jax. Let's go." I follow him out to the golf cart and we ride back to the cottage in complete silence, tension crackling between us. He goes straight to our bedroom and I follow, knowing that's what he wants me to do. What's the alternative? He won't let me avoid him anymore than I already have.
I close the door behind us as he stalks over to stand in front of his side of the bed, his eyes toward the window. Unsure of what's going to happen, I strip myself of my cardigan and hang it in the closet, secretly reaching to secure the leather pouch in the palm of my hand. When I turn back, he's still facing the other way, but I keep my arms behind me.
"What's wrong, Jax?" I finally ask, unsure of what he's going to do next. Although he's changed, he still has a wild temper driven by his wolf. He hasn't gone on a run in days, so this could go badly very quickly.
"The necklaces," He says, "they're spelled, aren't they?"
When I don't answer immediately, he looks at me over his shoulder, eyes flickering between blue and black and he struggles to stay in control of his wolf. "Yes," I finally admit and he huffs out a breath from his nose.
"Why did you lie?"
"Because," I mumble, but clear my throat and speak a little stronger than before, "Because I knew that if you knew they were spelled to cloak us from Hayes, you wouldn't want to wear it."
"I'm not going to hide like a beaten dog," He snaps and I sigh.
"It's not hiding, Jax. It's protecting me and yourselfâboth of us," I try to convince in a soft tone, but I can feel his anger tainting the air.
"I don't need magic for protection," He shoots back. "And I definitely am not going to turn and tuck tail when I need to stand strong for you and my pack."
"Your pack?" I repeat back to him. "I thought it was our pack, Jaxon. This isn't just about you. If Hayes kills you, which he will, then they will all die without you. You once put their lives on my head, now I'm putting them on yours. If you don't wear it, when the time comes, Hayes will come for me and he'll kill you if you try to protect me. As long as we're wearing them, he can't find us, no matter where we areâ"
"I won't hide from Hayes and leave my pack undefended. When he doesn't find you or myself, he will kill them all. At least if I'm here, he'll only kill me."
"Do you know what you're saying right now?" Confusion flashes over me. "Hayes won't stop with just you. He'll kill everyone else who could take your placeâJason, Neil, Grant. He'll kill your familyâyour mother, sisters. It won't just be you that diesâ"
"They'll die if I'm not here to defend them, anyway," Venom laces his tone as he finally turns to look at me, his blue eyes brimming with anger and betrayal. "You lied to me, Isabelle. You lied. I thought we were finally in a good place, but you didn't think me trustworthy enough to share your plan with."
"Because I knew you wouldn't go along with it! Jaxon, I know you want to protect me and the pack, but as Luna, it's also my job to protect you, my mate. That's all I was doingâ"
"No. You weren't protecting me. You were manipulating me. What were you going to do when the time came and he couldn't find us? How were you going to make sure we stayed hidden? That I stayed hidden?"
"I-I don't know, okay! I just don't want you to dieâ"
"You can't control that. You can't control me. Maybe because you're unshifted you don't understand, but I'm not your lap dog that you command around. I'm the Alpha of this pack, not you. I make the decisions."
"We are supposed to make decisions togetherâ"
"No. It was a mistake for me to believe you could be mature when it comes to serious issues like this."
"Jaxon," I say, my tone full of hurt. He hasn't spoken to me like this since before my induction. But maybe it's all been an act? Maybe this is the true Jaxon. Maybe this is who he is and always will beâcold and cruel.
Noâit can't all have been fake. We've had some real moments. He's just upset right now. And no matter how upset he is with me, I still love him. And I don't want him to die.
The sound of leather snapping reaches my ears and I see him holding his gemstone up by the broken leather string that held it around his neck. "I won't wear this. I won't run away while my pack is killed. I won't let Hayes bully me into giving him my mate. If I die in the process of protecting you, then so be it. But I won't run away like a scared little boy," He tosses the talisman onto the bed and tears burn behind my eyes.
"If you die, Jaxon, then I'll be undefended and Hayes will take me. H-He'll mark me and I won't ever get away from himâ"
"Keep yours on. We'll hide you when the time comes and you'll be safe no matter what happens to me," His tone softens and tears begin to spill from my eyes. A life without Jaxon? I'd die... Or either I'd become a human. I'm not sure how it works with Hayes' magic in play.
"I don't want to live without you," I cry, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
"We don't always get what we want," His tone becomes hard again and his face is set on an impassive expression.
More tears slide down my face as what I have to do finally dawns on me. If I want to keep Jaxon and the pack safe from harm, there's only one alternativeâI have to surrender myself to Hayes. Even though I'll never get away from him and I'll never see Jaxon again, at least he and the pack will be safe. He's not weak like my father. He won't die from my leaving. But I can't wait anymore. I can't stay here, because he'll catch onto my plan and lock me away. I have to leave. Right now.
I bite my lip, opening the bag behind my back and scooping some of the dark powder into my palm. I close my fingers tightly around it to keep it from escaping and I tuck the pouch into my back pocket. With ginger steps, I approach him, tears flowing freely down my face. With my other hand, I cup the tense muscles of his face, turning them until I can touch my lips to his. He kisses me back, the intimate gesture breaking through his anger in the moment. He finally breaks the kiss off, but remains immediately in front of me.
"Isabelleâ" He starts, his tone softer now and slightly confused.
"I love you," I interrupt him, tears continuously streaking down my face. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what? For lying? Isaâ"
I cut him off by throwing the powder into his face. It disperses in a cloud about his head and he coughs as he accidentally inhales it. His angry blue eyes find mine, "Isabelleâ" before they shutter closed and he falls back onto the bed, unconscious.
His body slightly bounces from the force of his fall and I sniffle, raking one hand through my hair and wiping my other palm against my pants to remove any remaining powder residue.
I don't know where I'm going to go, but I know that I have to go now and go quickly. I can't immediately go to Hayes', or Jaxon will just come there and Hayes will kill him. No, I have to go somewhere else until the time for the ceremony. With my necklace securely fastened around my throat, I know Jaxon won't find me unless I take it off.
"I'm sorry," I whisper again before grabbing a coat and leaving the bedroom, leaving Jaxon, behind.
A/N: So? Did you guys like?
1. What do you think of Isabelle's decision to leave? Stupid or selfless?
2. How do you think Jaxon will respond when he wakes up and she's gone?
I want to clarify something: I've seen alot people mad because it seems like Jaxon doesn't know her (i.e. the stuff with her family) or care to know her. The part about her family isn't something he just didn't ask about. It's stuff she didn't tell him-- it hasn't been mentioned much In the storyline to reflect how little she talks or thinks about it. So, it's not that he doesn't know her-- she just isn't a super open person.
thanks for reading! Don't forget to vote, comment, share!
xoxo,
IC Judah