??? POV III 1/2
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After two days of preparing behind my parent's backs, I finally am readyâ¦
I packed a few things inside a leather bag, which I wrapped around my bodyâ¦
It is deep in the night and they are sleeping soundly.
Through these last two nights, I have been having the same nightmare as before.
But it keeps getting even worse.
Why?
Why did this thing come to my second life?
How can it even do such a thing? Wouldn't my soul come here?
Was that thing⦠parasitizing my very soul?
I am so scared of going outsideâ¦
I want to stay with papa and mamaâ¦
But I can't⦠bear to think that one day I will⦠I might⦠kill themâ¦
I don't want thisâ¦
I don't want this⦠at all.
I have to run awayâ¦
I will⦠one day come back.
When⦠I am strong enough to not be taken over this powerâ¦
I promiseâ¦
As I glance back at my little house, tears begin to drip out of my eyes without realizing it.
As an Ice Giant, I am immune to cold and resistant to ice, so even by being in the middle of the icy night, I don't feel discomfort.
I pray to Ymir, as I begin slowly walking away.
Goodbye, mama, papaâ¦
These last seven years⦠were the best years of my second life.
I will treasure you within my heartâ¦
Goodbye, villageâ¦
Goodbye, friendsâ¦
Goodbye, neighborsâ¦
I wish⦠that all of you can still be here when I come back one dayâ¦
I decide to stop glaring at the town, as I walk inside the Grand Pine Forest, a forest that covers many mountains above our town, it is said that deadly monsters crawl this placeâ¦
But there's no other place for a monster like me to go toâ¦
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It has been a week since I escaped.
All the food I packed is about to run out.
I am beginning to get hungryâ¦
I have been eating things slowly, but due to being so big, my stomach is also big, and eating little does not satiate itâ¦
Sometimes I find a group of rabbits and manage to catch one, but the rest run away, and I can only secure a single meal⦠I eat it raw because I don't know how to cook⦠nor how to make a fire in this place⦠Well, I was taught a bit... but I cant do it in the middle of a snowstorm...
I am tired⦠I have been walking for two days, sleeping here makes me have nightmares that wolves will come to eat me.
I always hear their howls⦠I am scared.
I don't want to dieâ¦
I have to survive⦠to go back to mama and papa one dayâ¦
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Ughâ¦
Hahh...
Hahhhâ¦
It has been three weeks since I ran away from home.
I miss my bedâ¦
I miss Mama and papaâ¦
I want to sleep in a warm bed and eat food with them.
To be happy and have my tummy filledâ¦
It hurtsâ¦
Mamaâ¦
Papaâ¦
Everything hurts.
My body aches and my head hurts.
I feel dizzy and weirdâ¦
I think I might be sick of something...
Ughâ¦
The last time I have a meal was three days ago when I caught another rabbit.
I have been eating bluegrass ever since, but it is weird and bitter, and it makes me puke.
But it fills me sometimes.
I have been eating snow too.
But it makes my tummy feel weird.
I am tired and hungryâ¦
My body hurtsâ¦
Where am I going?
I only know that I have to run away as far as possible.
I have nightmares every time I sleep, so I try to sleep as little as possible.
But sometimes I can't resist and sleep inside old and large trees that are empty inside.
I wish I could use magic⦠but every time I try to cast something, the mold appears, and I am scared to touch it.
It is vicious, it seems to have a mind of its ownâ¦
It wants to eat me and use me as its vessel, as it used me before.
I try to suppress it, but it is trying to eat me from the inside out with those nightmares⦠it is trying to break my mental fortitude, like in my previous lifeâ¦
After living seven years of happiness, my mind is strong and has healedâ¦
Every time I am being consumed by the darkness, I remember papa and mama, and I feel at easeâ¦
I wonder how they are doingâ¦
I hope they are not sad that I went away, it was for their own goodâ¦
Mama, papaâ¦
I miss youâ¦
I miss you so muchâ¦
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Haahhâ¦
Unghâ¦
I think it has been over a month since I ran away⦠maybe more, I can't remember wellâ¦
Time goes by strangeâ¦
I can't perceive things correctly.
I keep walkingâ¦
My boots are resistant, so I have not damaged my feetâ¦
But I have not eaten meat in over a week⦠only herbs and plants, and snowâ¦
I feel weakenedâ¦
My limbs tremble each time I walk, my legs are trembling and becoming weak.
My arms and legs look weak too⦠Hahhâ¦
I want to survive⦠I have to keep⦠hunting for food.
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I think over three months had gone by, I have been walking deeper into the forest.
Sometimes I begin to hallucinate, depriving myself of sleep is not goodâ¦
But I don't want to have nightmaresâ¦
I don't wannaâ¦
Noâ¦
Sometimes I feel like my entire body is giving up.
But when I think about Mama and Papa, a strange warmth enhances my legs, and I can keep walkingâ¦
I think I can use mana that way⦠but it is very hard⦠It doesn't obey me, and it comes in and out.
And when I try to concentrate on it, the mold appears and scares meâ¦
I can't⦠use magicâ¦
I am alone, with my weakened body leftâ¦
Am I going to die?
I don't⦠want to dieâ¦
If I was going to die anyways⦠Maybe I should have killed myself while sleeping in my bed, comfortable and in my home⦠it would have been way better than dying hereâ¦
Hahhâ¦
I want to live throughâ¦
I really don't want to liveâ¦
Mama, papaâ¦
I wish you are okayâ¦
Wherever you areâ¦
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