Chapter 11: chapter 11

CHAPTER -5GOWRIMy last happy week as a single passes quickly in the blink of an eye. Before I know it, I am preparing for the wedding. All my close relatives were informed about my marriage and the reason it is held so soon in a simple manner. They were mad would be an understatement. I am the last of my generation in our family to get married and everyone was hoping for a grand wedding the fact that they would get to witness only reception is sure to upset them.My phone has been pinging for the past two days with messages from my cousins for finally turning sane and getting married.🍀🍀🍀🍀The day starts like a normal one for everyone but not for me. Because today I am getting married. As every second passes, I feel the pit in my stomach growing bigger. Why do I feel like I am headed for my very own doom? Shiva’s words keep coming back. I don’t expect anything from him or this marriage.  I am not even sure if he will turn up to the marriage. I am still waiting for something bad to happen and ruin my wedding. I tried my best to stop the marriage. No, I abandoned the kidnap and boyfriend idea as those things happen only in dramas and I am living a real life where miracles don’t happen when you want them to.🍀🍀🍀🍀My sister helps me dress up in the wedding saree which is in dark red with heavy gold borders. Earings, a dozen of bangles on both my Mehendi covered hands and necklaces in traditional designs adorn me. My hair is partitioned in the middle and tied in a braid along with flowers and Jadainagam(a hair ornament). When I look in the mirror I don't recognise the woman staring back at me. I look like the women in the jewellery ads.We reach the temple sharp at 4:45 am. I am nervous. I could hear the sound of my wild heart in the silence of the temple. Why do we have to come this early? My eyes are tired. I didn't sleep well enough yesterday night thinking about how that was the last time I will sleep alone. Because from today, I have to sleep with a man I barely know.“Are you excited to start a new life?” my sister asks me in a low voice.“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. I am not even sure if this marriage will happen today.“I am happy for you Gowri. I was worried that you would remain a single woman forever. You know, marriage is not as cruel as you had imagined.” Aishwaryaa was born two years before me. Just like all siblings, she was the opposite of me in everything. When I was the goody-two-shoes she was the teenage rebel. When I fantasized about travelling in space she fantasized about boyfriends. As soon as she got her degree, she brought a boy(Ajay) home and told my parents that he was the one she was going to marry. My parents unsurprisingly accepted her love as they had been in her shoes two decades earlier. After obtaining consent from the boy’s side they had a dream wedding of which my cousins are still envious. Her wedding is one of the reasons why my relatives expected me to have a grand wedding.Due to our different characters, we are not close as you expect two sisters to be. Yeah, I do love my sister but I feel like we have a wall between us.We rarely have a heart to heart talk and when we have, it is usually her advising me and that annoys me.“Aishu, why didn’t Ajay mama come to the wedding?” I ask trying to divert the topic.At the mention of Ajay, a distant look comes on her face. She looks at the sky for a few seconds before answering, “Well, he has some sort of important meeting today in the office and can't risk being late.”It takes me a few seconds to discover that Aishu is trying to control her tears. I open my mouth to ask what happened but am cut off short by the arrival of a car. I look at the entrance of the temple not sure what to expect. The car door opens AND HOLY GOD! WHAT THE- Okay, No swearing in the temple.Shiva.Six feet with a muscular figure and black eyes. His jet black wavy hair is combed neatly with a side partition and he hadn't shaved his facial hair since our last meeting. His short boxed beard gives him a mature and wise look. He is in a white shirt with a silk Veshti and the Angavastram. What is he doing here that too in the groom's attire when he told me he didn't want this marriage? His perfect calm smile makes me think if I imagined him coming to my office until our eyes meet. I have never believed in telepathy communications but now I could see his eyes turning cold and anger welling up in him. I suddenly feel afraid.The other people who have come with him are his mother. Savitri Aunty is in a simple silk saree and she is smiling. Nithya, the teen girl who came to my house. She is the younger sister of Shiva. She is in a golden colour half saree. The elder sister of Shiva is Swetha. She is in a green silk saree with her husband Bharath who is dressed in a green shirt and Vesthi with their little son who is also dressed in the same costume as his father.Our parents usher us to the priest since there are few pre-wedding rituals. I hope Shiva has some plan up his sleeve but as the minutes tick, I realize with a heavy heart that he has no plan and I am getting married. Yes, last week I was hoping hard that this marriage wouldn't happen.🍀🍀🍀🍀If only fate could grant us one wish. Then I would choose to get away from this marriage. As we finish each pre-wedding ritual, my anxiety grows. Because this is truly happening.I, Gowri Sundar who vowed never to be committed in a relationship am getting married but the world is not splitting into two or the hell is not freezing or there is not even one dark cloud in the sky. But I am repeating all the words the priest has asked along with the man who is still in love with someone else.I have mixed emotions about this marriage. For the first time in my life, I couldn't decide whether I want this or not. The only upside of this marriage is that I will not be able to witness my parents' argument and that one reason is enough to make me sit through the rituals when all I wanted to do is run away from there.We finally reach the Muhurtham stage. The main event. I gulp down as I sit next to Shiva before the fire. He has been quiet the whole time. A normal couple would have kept sneaking glances at each other but Shiva doesn't even spare me a look nor do I dare to look at him.The priest passes around the Thalli(nuptial thread) to everyone gathered for their blessings. I still couldn’t believe that this is happening. This all seems unreal yet there I am sitting next to the stranger who warned me that he could never make me happy.The priest blesses the Thalli and hands it over to Shiva. Dread fills me as I hear the sound of Nadhaswaram(wind instrument) and Thavil(barallel shaped instrument slightly similar to drums).“Gettimelam, Gettimelam,” the priest says and Shiva brings the Thalli towards me. I close my eyes as he ties the Thalli around my neck. He ties two knots and the other knot is tied by Swetha as the custom dictates. Shiva dips his finger in a box and his fingers are red with the Kungumam (vermilion). His right hand goes behind the back of my head and comes in front of my face. My heart races as I lean in closer to him as he keeps the Kungumam on my forehead.