Chapter 27: chapter 27

CHAPTER -10GOWRII look around the school in nostalgia. RLM School is the first school on my list of schools every year for counselling sessions. As I walk to the principal's room, an idea occurs to me. I can still keep my job intact. All I have to do is quit marriage counselling and became a full-time school counsellor. Now that my lead knows about my marriage there is no way I would be allowed to give marriage counselling if I get a divorce (and I am 200% sure now I am going to be divorced. Because–well, I don't want to think about it now). My work as a school counsellor is to go to the schools and meet students and provide counselling to students who are facing depression or cracking under the pressure the school and society put on them.I knock on the principal’s room. Mrs. Renu is the principal of the school. She is a woman in her late fifties but a very energetic woman who loves playing cupid. I enter the room when I hear the familiar ‘come in’.“Good Morning,” I greet her. She looks up from the register and smiles at me.“Morning, how are you Gowri?” she asks.“I am fine madam. How about you?”“I am good. So, are you still single?”That is it. That One Question Changes My Happy Mood.Why do people care about others' marital status? Even after my marriage the most annoying question for me. No, don't think about it. No, not there. But alas!My thoughts slowly turn to Saturday night and the argument we had. I have not yet seen Shiva after the quarrel. I had intentionally locked myself in my room. I was waiting for him to come bang on my door and wage a war on me for breaking his last memoir of his love. But nothing of that sort happened. He went out a couple of times but he never disturbed me. That is making me more nervous. His silence is more scary and threatening. Each moment I am in the house, my heart beats in anticipation of what he will do in revenge. What if he changes his mind and sends me out soon? Where will I go? How will I explain t-“I take your silence as a no?” tells Renu madam out of nowhere bringing me back to reality.I nod my head unsure of what question she asked me. “Are your parents searching for a boy still?” she asks her eyes twinkling.Well, they found a boy and we both are married and are soon going to get a divorce.I nod my head again.Great! Now I am becoming a big fat liar. Thanks to you Shiva.“Fine then,” she tells but has got that look that says there-something-I-am-not-telling-you look.“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” I ask.“Yeah, this week we have the trustee’s visit. Will that in any way affect your work?”“That is not a problem. Thank you,” I tell and turn to leave but she stops me with a question.“Gowri, can I get your parents’ number?” she asks.“Madam, can I know why?” I ask puzzled what she is going to do with their number.“This school trustee is a young and single man. He is a couple of years elder than you. He is a nice fellow with great character. Every time I see you, I remember him. You both would make a good pair.”“Madam I don’t get you,” I tell hoping after hope that she is not serious. That she is not playing the matchmaker again. “What do you mean by a ‘good pair’?”“I mean you both should get married,” she replies calmly. How will I explain to her that I am already married without breaking my promise to Shiva? My mind goes into panic mode. When that happens I do and say the most stupid things.“I can’t marry him,” I blurt out.“Why?” she asks.I tell the first reason that comes to my mind.“According to my horoscope, my husband would have had a love failure.”Ah! There that is not a total lie. My husband does have a love failure.Renu Madam frowns like that is the most absurd thing she had ever heard. HELL!I could have said many other reasons why did I tell that one?“If that is the case, then he is not the right boy for you. I have known him only for the past four years but I know he is not the type of boy to have a love failure.”I sigh inwardly. I have to thank my mom and her craze for astrology for making me lie truthfully.“But Gowri, do you still believe in those things?” she asks. “I don’t but my mother does,” I reply.“Well, then I can convince y-” she starts and I know where this is going. “Sorry Renu Madam, but I think it is time for me to go,” I tell and leave the room hastily.🍀🍀🍀🍀As I walk back to the counsellor's room, Renu madam’s words keep playing in my mind. How Will I Tell Her That I Am Already Married And I Can't Become Someone Else’s Wife?What I Am Doing Is WRONG. I shouldn’t mislead the people around me about my marital status. But I promised Shiva. I am not even sure why I must keep the promise when I am angry with him. Because you want to prove to him that you are no gold digger.Ugh. Why am I so obsessed with his opinion when he doesn't care a bit about me? “Gowri,” someone calls. I turn around to find Jay catching up with me. Fair skin, dark brown eyes, short black hair. Muscular figure with a love for chemistry. His perfume smell reaches my nose before him.Why does this man use this much perfume?“Hello, how are you?” I ask giving a small smile.“I wasn’t fine until I saw you,” he tells with a bright smile that would have made some other girl blush crimson. I, being the abnormal girl, sigh and continue walking.My backstory with Jay– Jay and I became friends during my previous visits here.  Friends as in a platonic way. I saw him as a good friend. BUT. Yes, since fate is cruel. There are always buts and ifs in life.Six months ago, when I was here he proposed to me. As in wanting to be my boyfriend and declaring his undying love to me with a greeting card and big chocolate.I would be lying if I told you that I was not impressed. Because Hell, that is the first time someone proposed to me and Jay is one of the most handsome men I have seen in life. Yeah, he is a lot easier on the eyes than Shiva. Nope, not comparing. Just stating facts. Damn! Why does Shiva keep invading my thoughts every few minutes?Okay, coming back to my flashback. Jay proposed to me.But good looks and big chocolate were not enough to pull me out of my resolution which is-sorry, was to remain single for the rest of my life.So, I told him an outright no. Because I never felt like that towards him and he deserves better than me.After hearing the answer, he walked away without another word. That was the last time I saw him and gave a thought to him till now. IF. Sometimes there are ifs that we regret not taking.Maybe if I had told okay, my life wouldn't have been like this. A life where I have to lie about my marital status. A jeopardised job. A husband who might send me out at any time.Heck, Gowri. Why are you thinking about what would have happened? Just focus on what to do next.I shake my head to clear all the thoughts that are making me difficult to concentrate on the present moment.“So..,” Jay starts looking me up and down. If he is trying to see if I am married, then I am sure he couldn't find any clues. I am wearing a collared kurtha that hides the Thalli. My floral sneakers and socks don't give away the toe rings. I am not wearing any vermillion on my forehead. So, the only way to know if I am married or not is to ask me.“So,” I echo back praying to God he won't ask the dreaded question. “Are you married?” he asks. There is the question I was expecting.I stop mid-track and stare at him. He too halts. I am not sure how to answer him. I feel like I must tell him the truth. He is a good friend and I don't have the heart to lie to him.Shiva, why are you making me tell a lie again and again to my close friends?    “I am sorry,” Jay tells me when it takes me a long time to answer. “That is something obvious. If you are married you wouldn’t be working.”“Why married women shouldn’t work?” I ask trying to divert the topic. “They can but I assumed that you will not work after marriage.”“Why did you assume like that?”“Because, Gowri, you are soft-natured and delicate. Also, your family is all about ‘Woman's priority is to take care of the family. So, I reckon you will quit your job after marriage.”Wait where did that come from? Is that how he thinks about me? Is that how people see me? Soft and delicate?‘Women are fragile. Gowri, you are fragile.’ My mother's words come to my mind. But I don't want to be soft and delicate. I don't want to be fragile.“Anyways, you are single,” Jay tells bringing me out of my mental chatter. I want to correct him but I don’t how without breaking the promise I made to Shiva.“Is your answer still a no?” he asks again. Oh No! Please tell me he is still not pinning after me. That would make things awkward further with me being married.“I am sorry but I have got things to do now. We shall speak about it later,” I tell and go inside the room. 🍀🍀🍀🍀