Chapter 29: chapter 29

SHIVAToday, morning, I very discreetly told Bala uncle, my secretary and a fatherly figure in life about my fight with Gowri and asked him how I should patch up things with her and he gave me a very big lecture. The finishing touches of the lecture are given the whole way to my home.“Yes, uncle, I remember,” I tell him on the phone as I park the car in the shed.“If required, don't hesitate to fall on her leg,” he tells with a chuckle.“Ok,” I say and hang up before he could add anything more. Honestly, I am nervous. I was never this nervous even before my school exams. But the very thought of facing Gowri today makes me tremble. After a long reflection, I reached a decision.  Yes, I am done with my ex but I am not sure if I will fall in love again. Even if I fall, I am not sure if it will be Gowri.  Even if I fall for Gowri(which won't happen and I am damn certain about it. But hypothetically speaking), she wouldn't love me back. Not when I was a total jerk to her.So, the best option for us is divorce. But I owe an apology to Gowri and that is what I want will do today. Be an adult, swallow my pride and apologize to her for my behaviour.I take a deep calming breath and glance at the digital watch given to me by Nithya. Seven in the evening. My usual timings to home but the house is dark. Not even the porch light is on. I get out of the car and go to the door. I fumble in the dark for my key. I take my phone flashlight and shine it on the shoe stand.No floral sneakers.Oh No! Why isn't Gowri home? Is her work taking her long? Or has she gone out to explore the city? Or wait, did something happen to her?Calm down, Shiva. She will be home soon. Don't need to get paranoid.I open the door and though I already know she isn't home, I still knock on her room door. No answer.Fine! She has gone out and here I am worrying about how to apologize to her. My apologies have to wait, I think.🍀🍀🍀🍀The clock shows eleven but Gowri is NOT yet home. For the thirtieth time I try for her phone but no, I am getting the same answer that it is switched off.This has never happened. She has never gone out. What if something happened to her? What if she got lost in the city? What if-No, Shiva. Stop. She will be fine. Nothing would have happened to her. Stop imagining terrible situations.I feel stupid for not knowing more about her. I don’t even have an idea where she is. I don’t know anything about her other than her biodata and her daily routine.If something bad happens to her then I am sure my guilt would not let me live. Maybe I should go and file a complaint in the police st- Wait! Is that the sound of a car pulling in?I peek outside through the curtain and Gowri gets off a cab. Holy Heavens! She is safe! I sigh in relief. I wait for her to let herself in but my impatience gets in the way and before she could insert the key into the door, I open it from inside coming face to face with a  Gowri whose jaw hangs open in what I think is shock. The first thing I do is scan her for any signs of a physical wound before I meet her eyes.Her eyes are nervous and scared. She is fidgeting with her handkerchief.“What happened to your phone?” I ask in a gentle tone and I am surprised at how concerned that sounds. She too is stunned that I am concerned about her. It takes her a moment or two to recover from the surprise.“It is out of battery,” she replies in a shaky voice.“You were at?” I ask hoping it doesn’t sound like I am poking my nose in her business.“Sara’s house. I mean my best friend,” she replies. “The friend with whom you stayed before marriage?” I ask. Yeah, I know Gowri stayed here before our marriage. My mother informed me about it and had sent me the house address and contact number of her friend just in case. “Yes,” Gowri replies again in a surprised tone. Seriously? This woman has judged me so badly that she couldn't believe that I am concerned for her.“Next time, you go out make sure your phone is charged to full. Don’t make me worry,” I tell moving out of the way and motioning her to go inside.She stares at me like I have grown two horns. I raise my eyebrows. She shakes her head and enters the house but doesn't go to her room and shut her room door as I expected. Instead, she stands in the middle of the hall blinking at me.I need to apologize but I don't want to have the conversation now.  Maybe tomorrow.Yes, I am still afraid to ask her sorry. So, I am procrastinating. Judge me!I head to my room but when my hand is on the doorknob I hear her blurt out, “I am sorry.”Oh, God! This woman is filled with wonders. I should be the one apologising for my jackass behaviour and not the other way around. I spin around to face her. I sigh. We shall as well have this conversation now.“You had your dinner?” I ask her. She nods.“You are not tired?”  She shakes her head no.“Fine, then we will talk,” I  tell sitting on the sofa. She sits meekly on the other side. Whoa! She is afraid of me. After yelling at me in her full voice and threatening to take me to the police station, now, she is frightened of me.“That day-” she starts.No, please don't go there.“Let us not speak about that day,” I tell not wanting to remember the bitter incident. I inhale deeply. Ok, I am a grown-up man. I can own up to my mistakes. “I must apologise to you for behaving like that. I was not in my right sense. I went a bit overboard with the rules. You can do anything you want at any time. I am sorry.”The shock that comes on her face cannot be described in words. She stares at me for a few minutes like she couldn’t just believe that I apologized to her.“Gowri,” I  tell in a soft tone wanting to fix things up. “I know I was a jerk to you but can you give me a second chance? I want to make up for all the stupid things I did in the past. Can we just get divorced with mutual consent rather than having dramas?”She silently appraises me. Something she always does when I ask her something. She nods her head finally. “What is with you?” I  ask wondering why she is giving me nods and shakes. “I thought you are a good talker but today you aren’t answering me. Did I render you speechless?”She nods her head and shakes it again.  “I..No..I mean-” she stammers as her cheeks turn red. Oh My God! She looks lovely. I smile in amusement.“Good night,” I tell and walk to my room.🍀🍀🍀🍀I glance at the clock. It is fifteen minutes past seven. I open the door and the coffee smell hits me hard. I inhale, taking in the aroma and smile as a memory flashes in my mind. It is of the day after I returned to India.My mother called me and told me in an excited voice, “Shiva I have found the right girl for you.”“Yeah, how is she the right one?” I asked not in the least interested in the girl.“She makes the best coffee. You will love it.”The coffee smell pulls me to the kitchen. How nice it would be if I get to taste one cu-HOLY DAMN!Just as I am about to enter the kitchen, Gowri exits it and we both collide with each other. Yeah, I know if this happens in a  book or a movie, it would have been romantic but in real life, it is not. Because Gowri is having a cup filled with lukewarm coffee when she crashes with me and the whole contents of the cup spill on me straining my light-coloured T-shirt dark. The cup falls breaking into pieces.“Oh my God,” gasps Gowri. “I am sorry. I got up late and that is why it took a few minutes extra to make the coffee. I didn't see you coming. I am extremely sorry. I will wash your shirt and clean this mess. I am very sorry. It is my fault. I wasn’t paying attention,” she babblers like a little kid. But I am busy taking in her appearance. She is in her usual home outfit which is a T-shirt and pyjama pants. Her hair is in a messy bun and some are sticking out at odd angles and yet I find her adorable with her eyes wide open in shock and apologising profusely.As if realizing that I am thinking about her, she suddenly becomes self-conscious. It makes her more nervous. Man, this woman is so cute when she gets flustered.I shake my head to clear my thoughts.“Gowri, first stop apologizing for the mistake of others. I shouldn’t have come to the kitchen when you were inside. It is my fault and I apologize for it,” I say giving her a kind smile.“No, it is fine. You can enter the kitchen any time you want,” she tells with relief. “Your shirt is spoiled. I am so-” she starts again but I  place a finger on her lips that gets us both by surprise. Her lips are soft. Our eyes meet and I realize her eyes are not really black. It has a slight hint of brown shade. I remove my finger but she is staring at me like I was gazing at her a few seconds ago.“Another time, I hear you apologise, then the consequences will be terrible,” I  tell in a stern tone. “This is a very old t-shirt and it is no big deal. Now, the important task is to clean these pieces before we accidentally step on them and injure ourselves,” I  tell pointing to the shattered pieces of her coffee cup. Why Does This Situation Seem Familiar?I couldn't help but remember the fight we had and the broken fishbowl. I look up at Gowri and our gaze locks for a second and somehow even without her telling it out I know she is also thinking about our argument. She nods her head and moves to clean the pieces as I head to my room to change my t-shirt.🍀🍀🍀🍀When I come out again, she has removed the pieces and is moping the stains. I pass her into the kitchen and proceed to make coffee for me then figuring she had spilt all coffee on me and the floor, I make an extra cup for her.By the time the coffee is ready, she has finished her cleaning job. She leaves the kitchen but I stop her.“Gowri, how about you taste my coffee today?”She turns around with a smile that makes my heart flutter.🍀🍀🍀🍀