Chapter 3: chapter 3

GOWRII am about to press the doorbell of my house but I don’t. My parents are fighting again. “Why didn’t you water the plants Sundar?” I could hear my mother yelling at my father.“I forgot,” my father answers in his usual insensitive manner.“You don’t forget to scroll the phone for news or you don’t forget to watch your cricket match but you neglect to do the one thing that I ask you?”“Raji, why are you making a scene? I forgot. I will do it now.”“The plants would have wilted by now. I was telling you for the past couple of days to do it.”“If you care so much for those plants then you must have done it by yourself.”“I would have if I had good knees but my knees are worn and I couldn’t walk for long. Don’t forget it was because you couldn’t earn enough money that I had to walk long distances for the job. I worked so hard for the family and spoiled my knees,” she tells and I hear the sound of utensils tumbling.Domestic Violence? Yes. Are parents arguing like teenagers? Yes. I sometimes feel I have more maturity than them.“Do you think I didn’t suffer for this family?” my father asks in an irritated voice.I sigh. They go on and on about each other’s mistakes. I have heard their arguments numerous times that I know what they are going to say next. I slowly climb the stairs to the terrace looking at the setting sun. Just like the sky, my life is depressing. I am not kidding. Most people enjoy themselves when they're in their twenties but I don’t. The major things in my life now are:1) A work where I meet couples who were head over heels in love once but now couldn’t stand the sight of each other. 2)My parents- who only know how to argue and have big egos. Yes, I know I shouldn’t judge them badly but it is difficult and I am just stating the facts.3)A constant fear that one day I would be married and would turn out like my parents and the couples I meet.By the time I am done watering the plants, the sky has grown dark and the sun is nowhere to be seen. My father comes out of the house as I come downstairs. He is surprised to see me coming from the terrace. I give him a small smile. “Gowri, you are late,” he says looking at me with tiredness I have always seen in his eyes. It was a statement, not a question.“Yes, pa, I had important work. By the by, I watered the plants. You can go and watch your IPL match.”“Thank you, dear,” he grins big and goes inside leaving the door open for me. That is it. Sometimes I wish my parents ask me how was my day or what important work I had. Long story short, my parents were college sweethearts. Since there was strong opposition to their marriage from both sides, they eloped. They got married but as the phrase–I saw on the internet the other day–goes, ‘Love doesn’t feed you, money does.’ After the initial days of being loving and caring were over, reality hit them. My father didn’t have enough money to support the two of them. My sister was soon born making things difficult for them and then two years later I was born taking the already difficult financial situation to worse. Arguments surfaced between them. Slowly they started hating each other and the rest is history.🍀🍀🍀🍀After refreshing myself, I open my laptop to watch a movie. I am engrossed in the movie until my mother comes inside the room. No, strike that. She is floating in the air and her smile is big. That is rare. “Someone is happy,” I remark. Her smile only grows big.“Ma, what is up? You are making my imagination go wild.”“How wild does it go?” she asks giggling. Yes, she giggles like a teenager and that is only making me uneasy.“You know about my imagining skills. If you don’t tell me what the matter is then I–” my mother interrupts me.“I have happy news for you,” she tells her eyes going big. Maybe Aishu(my elder sister) is pregnant. How nice it would be to be an aunt?“I am all ears. Continue.”“You have got a perfect suitor in that matrimony site-” my mother says but my mind comes to a halt.Perfect suitor? Matrimonial site? That is not what I expected. “Ma, please listen. I told you clearly that I don’t want marriage now,” I tell her in a serious tone. Well, to be honest, I told them that three years ago when I got my job and my parents asked me if I have a boyfriend or if they should find a boy for me.“Gowri, you are growing old. Marriage is something that you must do when the age comes,” she tells.“Ma, but I am only twenty-five years old.”“Gowri, you are already twenty-five years old. All your cousins and your sister got married by twenty-three.”Yeah, I know twenty-five years is very soon for marriage but my family strongly believes that a women's marriage age is from twenty to twenty-three. Yes, all of my cousins from my mother's side both younger and elder are married. The youngest of my cousins got married last year at the age of twenty-one. So, that leaves me out as the only one who is still single and when I go to every family function(believe me, there are a lot of functions held in my family) the first question people ask me is, ‘When are you getting married?’“Ma, you don’t understand. I don’t want marriage. I will be single forever. If I am a burden to you, then I will leave the house,” I try reasoning with her but this is my mom and as usual it didn't work.“Gowri, no child will be a burden to their parents. A woman cannot live alone in this society. It is-”“Not safe for you. You should need a husband. He will be your guardian, protector and everything,” I finish her sentence. I have been hearing this crap since my childhood, “But Ma, I know to defend myself against anyone. I don't need some bodyguard.”“Gowri, you are getting married and that is final. I don’t care whether you like it or not but as a parent I have to make sure my daughter has someone in this world who will take care of her after I die,” my mother replies in a firm tone and leaves the room.🍀🍀🍀🍀I lay on the bed thinking about what my grandmother told me about marriage when she was alive. I remember that day very well. My parents had a huge fight and there was some violence involved. I was traumatized by it so much that I left the house and walked to my maternal Grandma's house which was a few streets away. I cried and told her everything that happened and vowed never to marry.“Gowri, dear, marriage is something that can be either a boon or a curse. It depends on the way you behave with your partner. You can't expect your partner to be perfect or take care of you like how your parents did. There will be flaws. But all successfully married couples have overlooked the faults. Remember to forgive and forget bad things.”“But I don’t think I will get married, grandma. I don’t want to become like my parents,” I argued.“Dear, believe it or not; every person in this world has been paired with another person so that three fourth of their lives, they are together. That is why you call them a life partner. The person you marry will travel with you the whole life.”“Grandma, there is no one like that for me,” I answered back. She smiled sweetly at me and whispered, “Gowri, a prince is already born for you. He will come and take you to his palace when the right time comes. Until then, wait for him.”At the age of twelve, I had no option other than to believe my grandma. But as I grow up, my notions about love and marriage changed. A prince? Fairy tale endings never happen in real life. My daily encounters with married couples who are falling out of love are a few examples of it.🍀🍀🍀🍀