Chapter 36: chapter 36

CHAPTER-145 Minutes Ago........SHIVA“Good evening Sir,” a student greets me as I pass the corridor of the extra rooms that are away from the main building of the school. “Good evening,” I greet back with a smile.I am totally tired of telling and greeting the students back. The students really look up to me and they greet me wherever I go.Usually, my visit to the school is for three days but this year I have shortened it to two days. Everything is the same in the school as the previous year but the only difference this year is the presence of Gowri and that somehow seems like a big difference to me.I still think back to how she accused me of being fake about caring for her. Seriously? Did she judge me so badly that she-“Hel-” I hear a feminine sound. I look around.  The whole block is deserted. No one is here. Where did that sound come from? Am I imagining stuff? I look into the extra rooms as I pass each one. The final room has its doors closed. I stand before the door contemplating whether to open it or not when I hear a sound from inside. I think it is the sound of a man groaning in pain and then a loud sound followed by a man's voice.“You are not going to get away bitch. Now, I am going to hurt you,” the man says.HOLY HELL! Someone is harassing a woman behind those closed doors. How dare he do that? NOW.....Anger surges through me and I kick the door open. The sight that meets my eyes makes me see red everywhere.  Jay has a woman pinned by the wall and is leaning toward her. White-hot fury spreads through my body and I peel him away from the woman and punch him in the face.He falls with a thud. He spits blood and looks up at me with fear and shock. He has a bleeding brow already. I look at the side to see if the woman is okay. OH MY GOD!! My world spins and it comes to a pause. The air is punched out of me.Gowri. How did she end up here? Why her?The conversation we had yesterday comes back to me.Damn it!My blood boils and I am angry at myself for not taking her seriously when she told me about the man who was pestering her. Jay is the man who had proposed. Gave her the apology bouquet. Now, he has gone as far as to harass her that too right under my nose. I want to murder this coward. Strangle him to death with my bare hands and toss him in the water. But as much as I want to kill him, the thing that keeps me from beating him purple to death is Gowri. She is shaking. Her body is trembling and she refuses to meet my eyes. She rubs the back of her head and keeps her head hung low.Please look at me, Gowri. I know this is not your fault. “Shiva, it is not like what you think. I and Gowri are in a relationship and we had a lovers spat right now,” Jay says in a pleading tone. Gowri only hangs her head low as if I am going to believe that moron. Why has she judged me this badly?  Tears roll down her cheek. She looks crushed and traumatised. As much as I want to kick and knock Jay, I know I can't do that now. That would mean making Gowri stay with this scum for a few more seconds and I don't want to put Gowri through that torture. I have to get her out of here. Get her away from this moron. Jay has that audacity to stand up and address her in a sickly sugar tone, “Baby, see you tomorrow.”Before I could call out on his lie or do anything, he runs out of the room. I grind my teeth in anger. Maybe I should go kill him now. I hear a sob from Gowri. Her face is in pain and she is trying hard not to cry. But why? Why is she controlling her tears? No. I have to get her home. Punishment for that coward will have to wait. Gowri is my first priority now.I go near Gowri but make sure we have a good distance between us and tell in a soft tone, “Let us go.”She gives me a weak nod.I take her bag with me and the Thermos bottle that is lying down. I look around the room and find her phone on the other side. The glass is broken but it is working fine.She doesn’t speak nor acknowledge me as we walk out of the room. She follows me to my car but her shoulders are slumped and her head is hung low. She refuses to look up and meet my eye. She gets in the car quietly. I look at her before starting the car to make sure she is okay. HELL SHIVA! Can't You See? Isn't It Obvious That She Isn't Fine?I want to reach out to her and comfort her. Tell her that whatever happened is not her fault. But I am afraid that she might feel uncomfortable. After all, I am a man too. But she looks so shaky and hurt that my heart twists and I want her to be okay very badly. A tear escapes her and she quickly wipes it away.Why is she like this? Why can't she just let her tears out? She needs someone to comfort her and I know who to call.🍀🍀🍀🍀GOWRIAs soon as the door to the counsellor room opened and Shiva entered, I felt secure. My anger and the feeling of empowerment that was keeping the other emotions away from my mind disappeared. Shock, helplessness, hopelessness, embarrassment, shame, revulsion, and hatred all hit me once. My whole body started shivering as I realised that I was sexually assaulted. That is something I have only read in newspapers and seen in the movies. But when it happened to me, it was terrible. I couldn't stop the shame that engulfed me.I still don't know what Shiva thinks of me. How it would have looked to him to find me pinned against the wall by Jay in a closed room? He probably thinks that I cheated on him with Jay.When Jay told him that we were lovers, I was already past the stage of fighting and arguing. My whole body was tired from fighting Jay and my mind was numb and soulless from the reality of what happened to me. I wanted to shout that Jay was lying about me and him but I couldn't. Because I was feeling ashamed and don't know why I couldn't look at Shiva. Maybe if I had maintained some distance with Jay, this wouldn't have happened.The car ride home is the worst journey of my life. The incident keeps playing in my mind and I want to yell and cry. Tears keep rolling down my face and I keep wiping them away. I don't want to cry before Shiva. He already thinks that I am a cheater. I don't want to make it worse by crying. Jay was so close to me and if Shiva hadn't come, no stop, don't think about that. It will only make things worse. You are safe now. But the tremors of what happened to me keep lurking in my mind. This is my fault. I shouldn't have spoken to Jay in the first place.🍀🍀🍀🍀When the car reaches the house, I get down of the car in a trance. I am numb. I feel nothing. Like a zombie, I slowly move to the door and wait for Shiva to open it. When the door opens, I run to my room and shut myself inside afraid of facing Shiva and his judgements.All the pent-up emotions tumble down my heart as soon as I am alone. Tears freely fall down my cheeks and for once I don't control them. I sob heavily and kick the wall using my right leg in frustration. I pound my fists on the wall in frustration. My body shakes with every sob I take. I am struggling to breathe as I sob and gasp thinking about what had nearly happened to me.I considered him a good friend but all along he was lusting after me. It is all my fault. I should have known beforehand that he was lusting for me. Instead, I was blind and I believed him. I hate myself. I hate my body. It is the reason I was subjected to the assault today. I hate everything about myself. Why did this happen to me? My parents were right. Society is evil. Is that how every man view woman? An object to satisfy his desires and pleasures? I feel a sudden aversion to the whole race of men. Shiva. He didn’t even ask me what happened and believed Jay when he falsely claimed that we were lovers. That hurt me a lot. My parents would have done the same. Instead of chastising Jay for his behaviour, they would have scolded me for not quitting the job. They would have told me that it was my fault. Shiva is no different from them. He believed a stranger instead of me. Shiva should hate me now. That thought only brings more tears to me. He never came near nor asked me if I was okay or why I was cr-I hear a knock on my door. I am not yet ready to face Shiva. I stay where I am until a feminine voice calls.“Gowri, it's me, Sara. Please open the door dear. I know you have been through a terrible thing and I am here for you. Please open the door,” I hear from the other side of the door.Yes, she is the person I need now. I can't be alone with my hate thoughts anymore. It might mess with my head and I may take some stupid decision.I wipe away the tears and open the door. She enters the room and embraces me in a hug, “It is okay. I am here for you.”I break down again at those words. 🍀🍀🍀🍀