Chapter 44: chapter 44

SHIVAOne hour into the journey and I am already feeling bored. I glance towards my side. Gowri is scrolling through her phone. As if sensing my eyes on her she looks up and meets my gaze. Her black eyes ringed with light brown holds mine for a second and then she turns to the window like she is nervous. “Love,” I tell knowing full well that the name irritates her. But I like it when she is annoyed. Though I am not sure why she is annoyed.I hear a huff as I return my eyes to the road. Smiling to myself I continue, “We have a dilemma.”“You want me to call you with a nickname?” That would be nice but I am not sure if I can trust her with it.“No.”“Then?”“We are supposed to be a married couple but do you realize that I know nothing about you or your family? At least you read my journals. But I didn't have any privileges like that.”“Oh.”She is silent for a minute or two and then tells, “I guess then I have to tell you about me.”I nod. We have more than four hours and I am all ears to learn about her. “So, where do I start?”“Your parents,” I reply reducing the volume of the radio.“Yeah, my parents. They had a love marriage that turned into a disaster. They don’t get along well. My father is an indifferent man. My mother the total opposite. You already met Aishwaryaa on the wedding day. She is two years elder than me and married to the love of her life Ajay who works in a multinational company. They with Ajay’s parents live in his native town. It's been five years since their marriage but they don’t have a child yet. Maybe soon.”She pauses waiting for me to take in the information. Half of this I knew already. I nod telling her to continue.“I am Gowri Sundar,” she tells with a chuckle. “Recently married to Shiva Subramanian. So, that makes me Mrs. Shiva. If you are okay with it?” she pauses.Mrs. Shiva. I like the sound of it. I nod again.“I am good at studies but have no talent for extracurricular activities like singing or dancing. In fact, I suck at both. I don't believe in the true love crap that books and movies sell. So, I was never into relationships or romance. I always wanted to be a single woman.”Everything makes sense now. Why she didn't accept love proposals. Or why she readily agreed to the calling off the wedding and even for the divorce.“Why did you choose this job?” I ask. “I didn't want anyone else to have the kind of childhood I had,” she says her tone going low and she looks out the window. That was a loaded sentence. More meaning to it than implied. I want to know more about her childhood but I don't press her for more. Suddenly something she said during the argument we had surfaces in my memory.‘I agreed to all your conditions despite knowing the consequences of it.’OH MY GOD! HER JOB! I gasp out loud and stare at her. The divorce would make her lose her job. Yet, she agreed to it.“Love, will the divorce threaten your job?” She is silent confirming my suspicions. “Seriously, Gowri, I am sorry for putting you in that position. I will pay you high alimony to compensate for your job loss,” I say deadpanning.She shakes her head vigorously, “No, Shiva. I have already made other plans. I will become a full-time school counsellor. So, the divorce wouldn't affect my job directly. Besides, I am selfish. I didn't agree to the divorce just because you wanted to. I want to be a single woman so I agreed to divorce. Don't blame yourself or feel guilty.”I slowly mull over her words. She wants to be a single woman. She hates commitment and relationships. No wonder. She never once tried to impress me. Yet, why am I impressed with her?“Your favourite things? Hobbies?” I ask her changing the gear.“My favourite colour is blue. Love listening to rock music with loud sounds. Not a melody kind of girl. Not a big fan of chocolates.  No favourite actor or actress. I watch every film except for rom-com. I love eating in a restaurant with my family but that has never happened.”“Why?”“Because the maximum level of time my parents could tolerate each other is ten minutes. So, every time we go to a hotel, we leave it before the waiter could serve our order. I think the last time we had a peaceful family dinner was when I was four or five,” she says with a faraway look.“That really sucks,” I say. Family dinners were a must in my house. Even though we were striving hard to make ends meet, my mother would take us to a hotel at least once a year. She shrugs like it is no big deal but there is a longing look in her eyes, “I got used to it.”She fidgets with her phone cover and I realise this is a sensitive subject for her. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, I divert the topic, “Any snooping relatives I must know about?”“Well, almost everyone in my family is snooping. Especially my cousins.  They love gossiping. They are all married off to financially well-settled men. Their all housewives and they always thought I was abnormal and stupid because my ideas about life and love were very different. They believed that women are meant to keep the family happy. Well, my mother's family all believe that women are weak and she must be married off before twenty-three. I was different and when I reached twenty-three and was still unmarried, my cousins decided I will never get married. They chided me for going to work and not getting married. So, my marriage is definitely a big deal. That too with the way it was held in secrecy, I am sure my cousins always keep an eye on us.”“How many cousins do you have?” “Eight. Six females and two males. But two of them are from my father's side and not a problem. My eldest cousin Ganesh is a harmless creature. The problem is my five female cousins who look like innocent ladies but are filled with maliciousness.”“You sound like your cousins are some sort of villains,” I comment.She shakes her head, “Not exactly. I don't hate them. I just dislike them because they are very different from me. I don't know why but there was some sort of competition between them and my sister from childhood. It was like they wanted to prove who was best and better among us. I was never interested or included in those because they always thought I didn't fit their criteria for the competition.”“What is the criteria?”“Be a girl.”I laugh but her expression is serious, “I don't get it, Love.”“It means gush, blush, giggle and speak softly. Act softly. Think only about getting married and keeping your family happy. Maintain good looks. So, men would stand in queue for your hand in marriage and all those sorts of qualities my mother's family believed a girl should possess. I am not being judgy. It is just those things are not my cup of tea.”“Of course,” I say. “But why do you think they will suddenly include you in the competition?”“Well, things changed over the years. Now, I think the criteria for the competition is to have a husband. Since I have you, I think they may want to know how our relationship is which will lead them to interfere more. So, a fair warning, be careful around them. If they find out we are lying then they would not spare a second to spread it in WhatsApp family groups.”I gulp down. She makes her cousins sound scary. But I am relying on my acting skills.🍀🍀🍀🍀