Chapter 5: chapter 5

GOWRIIt is in the late evening that I receive a call from a new number. With no reason to leave it unanswered, I attend the call. “Hello, is it Gowri speaking?” asks the speaker. It is a lady. I had heard her voice somewhere.“Hello, yes, this is Gowri. Can I know who is speaking?” I ask.“This is Savitri. Remember the woman who came to your house in the morning. To be more precise, you’re would-be mother-in-law,” she replies in a cheerful tone. But my mind is whirling. What should I speak to her? How should I address her? Should I apologize to her for how I behaved in the morning? Or should I tell her something? “Hello, Gowri, you are in the line?” she asks.“Yes, a...aun…aunty,” I tell.“If you are not comfortable in calling me aunty, then you can call me, ‘ma’,” she tells.“Okay, ma,” I reply.“Okay, I do not like to go around the bush. Your mother told me that you are okay with this marriage. But, still, I want to know if you have any problem with this marriage. Do you like my son?” she asks. I was taken aback by the directness of the question. 'I have not yet met him.’ I wanted to say but I  don't.“I like your son ma. I don’t have any problem with this marriage,” I tell.“Right now, Shiva is abroad regarding some business matters. So, he couldn't come today. He will be back in India in a week. As soon he comes, I will ask him to meet you.”“That is okay.” “Are you okay with shifting to Chennai after marriage?” she asks with some hesitation.I think for a few seconds. I need a change. Maybe I am fed up with my parents' arguments. “I am totally fine with it,” I say.“See you at your wedding,” she tells. Her tone gets cheerful again.“You mean on the engagement day?” I ask.“No, on your wedding day,” she replies in a confused tone.“I don’t get you,” I tell. Well, according to my family’s custom the bride and groom get engaged two or three months before their actual marriage.“Gowri, I think it is better if you ask your mother about the marriage dat–” she is telling but the line becomes dead suddenly. I look at my blank mobile screen. Damn, the battery is dead. If there is one thing I forget easily then it is to charge my mobile. I put my phone on the charger and go downstairs.“Ma, where are you?” I call out to my mother. As usual, she comes from the kitchen. She has the flour strains of Dosa batter in her hand. “Gowri, why are you shouting in the middle of the house? What will others think? You are a grown-up girl and you are going to get married soon. Remember, that and behave yourself,” she tells in a stern voice.“When is the marriage?” I ask ignoring her scolding. “Well..,” she looks everywhere except my eyes and drags.“Ma, cut it out and tell me. Savitri aunty called me,” I tell her in a grim voice. Surprise spreads through her face.“What? Savitri called you? What did she say? Did you speak properly? Did you give her respect?” my mother fires questions at me.“Ma, first answer my question,” I ask her firmly.She looks me in the eye and challenges me. We both stare at each other daring the other to look away first. It is an unspoken rule that the one who looks away first is the loser. Believe it or not, it will be always the other person who looks away first. Holding someone’s eye contact is very easy for me. A few seconds later, my mother looks away and sighs.“Gowri, there are only three weeks for your marriage,” my mother tells slowly waiting for my reaction. “See, the astrologer told me that there are some issues in the groom’s horoscope and as per both your horoscope, it seems the wedding must take place soon. It seems that the groom’s family doesn’t want a lavish wedding because of the short time for the marriage. You will have a very simple wedding in the temple and then we will register it in the registered office. None of our relatives except for your sister will be there. After a month of marriage, you may have a grand reception.”I am at a loss for words. Only three weeks. That is the time I would be happy in my life. Then, I would be married to someone and would fight with him for the rest of my life. There is no love even in love marriage. Then how do you expect me to find love in an arranged marriage? I think about backing away from the marriage but then my father's words come to my mind. He never validated a male. But he tells me that this guy, who I am about to marry is a good fellow. For some reason, my mind has developed a liking for Savitri aunty and the excitement in her tone when she told me that we will meet soon. I don’t have a choice now. I had already told okay. There can be no backing away now. Great! The rest of my life is going to be tragic. I am struck with someone–Someone shakes my shoulders. It is my mother. She looks worried. Only then did I realize that my eyes have tears. I quickly blink them away and smile big at my mother. “Gowri, dear, are you all right? Why do your eyes look teary? You don’t want this marriage?” she asks with a hesitation.I take a deep breath and calm my inner war of thoughts before answering her. “Is it so? Maybe some dust particle must have fallen in my eyes?” It is a lie. My mother knows it but she would never question it. It was always like that. I am a strict controller of my emotions. After I entered my teenage, I stopped crying before anyone. That doesn’t mean, I don’t cry. I cry when there is no one around me. When everyone is fast asleep, I would be wide awake crying as my parents would be fighting in their room. The thing is, it is no use crying before someone because they won’t understand you. They may console you and look at you with sympathy but in reality, they will consider you weak.There has always been a wall between me and my family members. The reason for the wall is something I still don’t know but sometimes I find it hard to tell them my real feelings. So I stopped saying it altogether.“Gowri, tell me about your conversations with Savitri,” my mother asks. “Well, Savitri aunty asked me if I was okay with marrying her son,” I tell with a simple shrug.“Oh, did you say no to her?” my mother asks. I smile at her. My mother would never understand me.“Is that what you think I did?”“Yeah, because you never had any interest–”“I told her that I was fine with marrying her son,” I reply to my mother’s utter astonishment.  Before I could complete the sentence, my mother puts her hands around me and hugs me. A real hug. When she pulls away, her eyes are filled with tears. “Ma, you okay?” I ask.“You know, this is tears of joy. You are going to be married soon and what else a mother wants than to see her children getting settled well. Did you apply for the transfer? Oh my God! We have a lot of work to do.”She walks inside the kitchen with a large smile. That smile is worth this marriage. I take a deep breath. Maybe, even if it is not for my happiness but for my parents’ happiness, I will marry.🍀🍀🍀🍀