Chapter 64: chapter 64

CHAPTER -25SHIVAThe problem in my company has brought me and Gowri very close. We both are spending a lot of time with each other when we are in the house. We talk and talk about something, anything and everything. I love spending time with her. I feel comfortable around her and I think she too feels the same. I still think about that morning when I was nearly about to kiss her. I don't know what possessed me but I was impressed by the way she tied my tie and made my hair. I wanted to kiss her and I decided to do it until the pressure cooker spoiled the moment. As much as I did hate that cooker at that moment, I am grateful for its intervention. Because, if I had kissed her that day, then the special friendship we have between us would be ruined and I never want that to happen. My feelings for her are still complicated. I have not yet figured out exactly what is it I feel for her. I just know one thing, she is different from anyone else I have met. She is special to me in ways I could not pin down.Sometimes, I wish I had met Gowri before I met Riya. If that has happened in some other alternate universe, then I am sure I would have been madly in love with her. Maybe we would have gotten married without any drama and had a couple of kids by now.But, yes, those will happen only in La La land where anything is possible. In reality, she will leave after nine months and I will let her go no matter how I feel because I want her to be happy and live her life independently.🍀🍀🍀🍀GOWRI“The trip is going to be awesome. You are coming right?” asks Kamali. I am back in my office and it is been two days since I officially resumed my marriage counsellor job.Since my organization firmly believes that the mental health of the employees should be taken care of as well, they take their employees on holiday trips each year. “I don’t know,” I tell. I have always wanted to go on this trip but yeah, my parents never allowed it. “You still didn’t go on your honeymoon?” she asks.Yeah, my colleagues know I am married. They found it out through a social media post by my former lead who attended the wedding reception. Thanks to my mother. My colleagues were kind of mad when I came to work after returning from my hometown. They were angry that I hid the fact that I am married but my current lead somehow settled the matters. I open my mouth to lie but being the smart woman she is she knows the answer, “You didn’t. Because you never took any leave. The only time you took leave was for the reception. You haven’t gone on your honeymoon still.”I sigh, “Yeah, my husband is quite busy in the company. So, we have not yet got the time for it.”“Then, there is a possibility you will not come,” she says.“Why do you say like that?” I ask. “Ah, come on, wouldn’t your husband feel upset if he know that you are going on a trip when you have not yet gone on your honeymoon?”I stare at her. That possibility crosses my mind only now. Will Shiva be angry? It is not like we both are in love. We have a good friendship and I have a crush on him.“I am not sure,” I tell.🍀🍀🍀🍀“Gowri, you are a married woman,” my mother yells at me on the phone.“Ma, great discovery and here I thought I am single,” I say.“Stop joking. This is serious,” her voice is stern and I know she is pissed off with me.“Okay. So, you are saying that I am not allowed to go on this trip because I am married.”“Yes. Married women are not supposed to go on trips like this.”“Why? Because after a marriage a woman must devote herself to her family and should have no personal space but a man can still do things he wants to, right?” I snap.“I didn't mean it like that,” she sighs. “What does Shiva say?”“I have not yet told him.”“I think you should take Shiva with you if you are going on this trip.”I gasp, “Ma, this is an office trip. Family is definitely not allowed.”“But you both haven't gone on honeymoon yet,” she says.Honeymoon! Honeymoon! Honeymoon! How will I tell her that we would never go on a honeymoon?“Ma, I told you Shiva is busy with his company,” I tell getting frustrated at her nagging.“I know but it feels inappropriate that you should go on this trip before going on your honeymoon,” she tells again. Why do people keep repeating this? Can't a husband and wife's bond be stronger without going on a honeymoon trip?“All right, I will let you know what Shiva thinks about this,” I say and hang up before I could say something stupid. I take a few deep breaths. Even after marriage, I can't take my own decisions. I have to let someone else make it for me. So much for wanting to be independent!🍀🍀🍀🍀Shiva, there is a trip in my office. Can I go?It is an office trip for all the employees. It is compulsory. I am going.Ugh. I have been rehearsing how to tell him that I want to go on this trip. I am afraid that he will not let me on the trip. I still don't know how to define the relationship we have now. For me, it is more than friendship. We have talked a lot over the past two weeks and I have learnt a lot about him. The more I get to know him, the more it becomes difficult for me to resist my feelings for him. Before, the full-blown crush on him develops into something else, I have to stop wishing for things that would not happen.  I am sure today morning I am going to put a stop to my feelings by asking him about this trip. He will not allow it and say that I am married so I am not supposed to go and then BOOM! I will stop crushing on him and realise what a chauvinistic male he is and everything will end well.HA! HA! IN YOUR DREAMS GOWRI. But if he allows me then I will be a total goner for him. There are even chances of my feelings increasing ten folds.But he won't. Because this concerns his ego.OH GOD! But I Really Want To Go On This Trip.“Good morning,” Shiva’s voice startled me. “Hey,” I say giving him his cup of coffee. He takes it and smells it and sighs.“You know, I will never get enough of your coffee,” he tells sitting on the opposite chair on the dining table.I stare at him as he sips his coffee. This is the time. He is in a good mood. It is time to ask. I take a deep breath and say, “Shiva…”I shut my mouth as thoughts collide with each other. He gazes at me with the laser look that sees through me. He places his cup aside and takes my hand in his. I look at our clasped hands. Maybe he will allow me.“I want to ask you something,” I finally get the words out.His eyes never leave mine as his thumb draws small circles on the back of my hand.  That gesture is making me a little nervous.“You don’t have to be nervous. Whatever it is just ask,” he tells with a warm expression.“There is a trip in my office. Can I go?” I ask finally mustering my courage.I hold my breath as his face breaks into a slow and warm smile.“Do you want to?” he asks in a soft tone.I nod.“Then you can,” he tells squeezing my hands.Wait, That Is All?HOLY HEAVENS!YOU ARE DOOMED FOREVER!“Really?” I ask him still incredulous that he will allow me for the trip.“Yes, I mean it. If you want to go somewhere, just give me the information. Don’t ask permission.”SERIOUSLY? I stand up from my chair suddenly and he is surprised by it. He too stands up with a confused expression. I go to his side and throw my hands around him in a hug and kiss him on his right cheek.“You are the best,” I tell him as my cheeks flush red at what I have done. But doesn't seem to mind it. Instead of pushing me away, he pulls me closer.He chuckles, “Yeah, I know.”🍀🍀🍀🍀