Chapter 65: chapter 65

GOWRII am in my room packing for the trip. There are still two days for the trip but I frown at my clothes. I don't have any casual wear. Everything is either a work outfit or a home outfit. Great! When was the last time I went shopping?There are three knocks on my room door. I open my mouth to say ‘Come in’ but stop short as I realize letting Shiva into my room feels intimate. Besides, my room is a mess. So, nope.I open the door and he is standing with a nervous expression. His hair is a mess. I am sure before he knocked he ran his hand through his hair in nervousness. Ok, why is he nervous?I give a kind smile and that seems to ease him.“Love, it is actually...um...I, no we...How will...No, wait are you busy?”I am.“No,” I say.“Then...uh...can we...no..,” he stammers. Oh, God! He looks so cute when he is flustered.“Shiva, just spit it out,” I say in a gentle tone.“Can we go out shopping?”WOW!“Do you have any cameras in my room?” I ask wondering how he knew I wanted to go out for new clothes. It was a harmless sentence and I meant it as a joke but Shiva's eyes widen in shock and he shakes his head vigorously.“No. I don't. I swear. I am not that-” I place my palm on his mouth to shut him up. He is nervous and I am making it worse.“Don't worry. I know you are a gentleman. I meant that as a joke because just before you knocked, I was contemplating going for shopping dresses for the trip.”He visibly sighs and says in a relieved tone, “I just wanted you to come with me for buying a new TV. It is time we replace the broken one. Since you were so angry with me that day for breaking the TV. I figured you should choose the new one.”I smile at him. There is something else he is not saying, “Is that all?”“We will go for dinner if you are okay with it after purchasing the TV and dresses for you. I want to treat you for my company's growth,” he says with a shy smile. “Will you come?”“Of course. Give me twenty minutes,” I say with a huge grin.🍀🍀🍀🍀“No, that colour doesn't suit you,” Shiva says when I come out of the trail room. I look in the mirror and damn, he is right. The colour doesn't go with skin tone. “Try this,” he says handing me over a dress from the pile of dresses he is having in his hand.I go inside and quickly change into the one he gave and come out. I look in the mirror. It looks amazing on me. How did he exactly know this would look good on me?“Shiva-” I start to call his name to ask his opinion but stop short as I see him speaking to an elderly man. Shiva turns around hearing me. He motions me to come forward and I oblige.“This is my wife,” he introduces me to the man and then says to me, “Love, he is my senior in the company.”I give the man a polite smile. The man shakes his head, “Your husband sounds like I am not a subordinate to him. Sure, I have experience but it is your husband who knows how to make us work to our potential.”“I know he has got that in him,” I assure him with a smile.“Nice meeting you,” he says extending his hand toward me.I shake his hand and say, “Pleasure is mine, sir.”“Okay, I will let you both get back to your shopping,” he says with a chuckle looking at Shiva whose hands are overflowing with dresses.I expect Shiva's cheeks to colour at having caught by his employee to be shopping with his wife but strangely enough, Shiva gives his a chuckle and says, “We better. We have a lot to shop.”When the man is out of earshot, Shiva says, “He was one of the employees who trusted me. A good man,” he stops short as he takes me in. The way his eyes travel through my whole body makes me hold my breath. His eyes turn darker and he says in a serious tone, “Love, this dress is amazing on you.”“I thought so too,” I say as my cheeks warm.🍀🍀🍀🍀SHIVAI watch Gowri as she puts her luggage on the sofa. She is very excited about the trip. She is floating in the air. Somehow seeing her smile like that makes my heart happy like never.“You had packed everything you need?” I ask.“I will do a final check,” she tells taking a paper on which she had written the things she must take for the trip. “Did you take the phone charger?” I ask.Her mouth forms an O. I know. I smirk at her as she rushes to her room to take the charger.“Why should we charge phones? It is really irritating,” she says as she puts the charger inside her bag.“Gowri, normal people do not consider charging their phone as such a huge task. Most people remember it.”“You mean I am not normal?” “Ah! Finally, you realised that,” I tell. She throws the list at me but laughs.A car pulls in at the same time her phone rings. The cab had arrived to take her to the station. I wanted to drive her to the station but she declined and I didn’t want to be overbearing. “Yes, anna, I will come in five minutes,” she tells on the phone.“Wish you a safe and fun-filled journey,” I tell her when she hangs up the phone. She gives me an apprehensive smile.HECK!This is her first time travelling to a new place on her own. “Did you take everything you need? Mobile, charger, ID proof, money?” I ask again.She nods and takes the luggage. “Don’t forget to charge your phone. Give me a call every night and put me a message as soon as you reach the place.”She nods again with a smile.I pull her into a hug and she relaxes against me. Before I could stop myself I kiss her forehead lightly and say, “Take care and happy journey.”“Ok, you too take care and make sure the front door is locked before going to bed. Bye,” she tells pulling away with a small smile.I walk her to the cab and wait outside until the car pulls away. As I walk back to the house, I feel a little disheartened. The house suddenly feels empty.Come on, Shiva. You stayed here for four years before Gowri came. You are used to this emptiness.I am not after Gowri came into my life.🍀🍀🍀🍀GOWRII take a deep breath as I watch Shiva walk away into the house. I was so excited about this trip but now I don't feel the excitement. Oh God! Why do I feel sad leaving him? It is going to be only four days yet why do I feel like this?My phone pings and I take it in hopes of getting a message from Shiva but no, it is from Kamali telling me that she has reached the station and asking me where I am.I text back my answer and look out at the window. This is exactly how I would feel after my divorce from Shiva. Like something missing in my life. I don't understand this feeling. How can someone become so important to you though you know they will leave you?I have no idea, what I would do when Shiva walks out of my life. It will be a tragic moment because in one way or another Shiva has become my comrade. But the divorce will happen no matter how I feel and I am sure I am going to experience what it is like to get my heart broken for the first time. The mere thought of him leaving me is painful. Heartbreaking and torturous. A realisation comes over me and I gasp.OH MY GOD!THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING!WHY IS THE SUN STILL HIGH IN THE SKY?WHY AREN'T ANY PIGS FLYING IN THE SKY?WHY ISN'T THE  WORLD SPLITTING INTO TWO? BECAUSE WHAT I HAVE ON SHIVA IS NOT CRUSH.I HAVE FREAKING FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HIM.I Am In Love With Shiva.My heart feels heavy all of a sudden. God! How did this happen? Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! How will I tell Shiva this? How will I be able to act normal with him? I take a few deep breaths. This has to wait. Possibly being away from him will give me an idea of what to do with this realization🍀🍀🍀🍀