Chapter 73: chapter 73

GOWRII twist and turn around in the bed but I can't sleep a wink. The bed is a little stiff and I don't get the comfort of my bed in Chennai. Okay, the bed stiffness contributes to only two per cent of my sleeplessness. The rest is divided between the anxiety and nervousness about the surgery that my father will undergo and the elation of Shiva's confession. God! That man happily confessed his feelings and is sleeping soundly now. I look at the other side of the room where he is lying on his bed. His hair falls on his forehead and I have this urge to swipe it from his face. His face is peaceful and he is sleeping with no care in the world.‘I have feelings for you, Gowri. So intense feelings that it hurts.’I smile and whisper into the silent night, “You are not the only one who is hurting with those intense feelings. I know how it feels and I forgive you but since you made me suffer for four days, I am going to play with you for a little while.”🍀🍀🍀🍀SHIVAI am nervous. The kind of nervousness you feel when you are waiting for your board exam results to come. You have no idea how you had done the exam because the paper was tough. Yes, that kind of nervousness when I am driving back to the hospital alone with Gowri. We both have gone to my mother's house for a quick bath and breakfast. It is eight in the morning and the surgery will start in an hour. “Shiva, about yesterday night,” she starts. I shake my head. But she continues, “I appreciate that you were honest with me about your feelings but I am still having a tough time sorting out mine. For now, I think getting the divorce is better.”It takes everything in me to not slam on the brakes and turn to her and whine like a baby. Because rejection sucks. My knuckles whiten because of my tight grip on the wheel. I give her a soft smile and say, “I understand.”“I am sorry,” she says in a small tone and she means it.“You don't have to be,” I say in a calm voice but I could feel my heart breaking. The only light of this scenario is that she will be happy and that thought puts a smile on my face. Because I want to her be happy.Rejection hurts but it is not new for me. 🍀🍀🍀🍀 The surgery starts at nine. Gowri's family is nervous. My MIL is doing far better than yesterday but she is still afraid and is on the edge. The doctor enters the room where I stayed with Gowri yesterday night and the atmosphere in the room changes. We all tense up and the doctor only smiles at us. With some instructions and reassurances, he goes into the surgery room. “I want to get out of here,” my MIL says suddenly. “I don't think I can bear the thought of Sundar going through whatever is happening inside the room.”“What do you want to do?” Gowri asks.“I want to pray. Take me to the temple,” she says.I can see the annoyance on both the sisters’ faces. But my MIL either doesn't notice it or ignores it.“There is a temple nearby aunty. I can take you there,” I offer. My SIL gives me a grateful smile and Gowri has a blank expression on her face.“We will go,” my MIL says running out of the room. Just as I am about to exit the door, I feel the pressure of someone's arm on my shoulder. I turn around to find Gowri with a smile. “Thank you,” she whispers in my ear. “If she insists on being alone, leave her there and come back.”I give her a curt nod and try to brush away the fact that her face was so close to mine but it is more difficult than I believed.🍀🍀🍀🍀Exactly one hour has gone by since my FIL's surgery started and I am sitting in my car outside the hospital. My MIL insisted on being alone and I heeded Gowri's advice and left her in the temple though making her promise me that she will give me a call when she needs to be picked up. I sigh as I work up the courage to go inside the hospital. I am a grown-up man. I can do this. This is no big deal. I look at the entrance and notice people coming and going inside. A particular man attracts my attention. He is staring at the hospital board and looks totally lost. It seems like he working up his courage to enter the hospital.That makes two of us, buddy.WAIT!Why Does That Man Look Familiar?Oh My God!Ajay!What is he doing here? I thought he and my SIL are getting a divorce. Why is he here? Also why the hell is he staring at the hospital like a stalker?Without a second thought, I exit my car and walk to him. I place my hand on his shoulder and he turns around with a jerk. He places his hand on his chest.“Oh! Hey, Shiva,” he says. Though he tries to keep his voice casual, I can hear the sadness in it “What are you doing here? Seriously you are giving stalker vibes to me,” I say folding my hands over my chest.He rubs his hand on the back of his neck and says with a humourless chuckle, “I am actually stalking my wife.”“Really? Why? Aren't you the one who wanted the divorce?” I snap and that comes out more bitter and harsh than I actually wanted it to.He hangs his head low like he is ashamed of himself, “I made a mistake. I am so dumb. I should not have done that ”“But why? I thought you loved her.”“I still love her,” he says holding my gaze and I see the affection he has for my SIL.“Then why did you want to divorce her?”“Because I can't see her getting hurt by my family. My very own parents called her names and insulted her because she could not bear a child. I honestly do not care if she can or cannot bear a child. I love her but I couldn't stand the way society and my family kept giving her advice and judgmental looks. I wanted her to happy. But she could never be happy with all those comments and looks. Last week, I heard my mother insult her so badly. She was hurt but you what she did,” his voice falters and he wipes away the tears, “She hid it behind her smile. Brushed it off like it was no big deal but I know how much it hurt her. She has been getting these mean comments and it frustrated me to know that I can't do anything.”“But divorce is not the solution.”“Now, I know that. But exactly five days ago, I was so frustrated and angry with myself because I could do nothing to ease her hurt. I thought releasing her from this marriage would put an end to all this. If we could get divorced she wouldn't have to face my parent's or society's judgments. I know Aishu will hate me for it but I want her to have a happy life. But when I received a text from her yesterday telling me what happened to her father and she is coming here, I realised that I was stupid for pushing her away. I kept calling her but she never picked up. She has a big ego and I think she blocked my number. I tried Gowri's number but hers was switched off. I could not sleep yesterday and the first thing I did today is come here. Yet, I could not work up the courage to go inside.”“I will tell something from my own experience,” I say thinking about what happened between me and Gowri. “Confrontations are hard but I think that is what bridges the gap in a relationship.”“What do you think I should do?”“Probably, man up. Go inside. Fall on her feet and beg her forgiveness with fingers crossed,” I say with a grin.“I might do anything now to win her back,” he says with a resolute look and we both walk into the hospital.🍀🍀🍀🍀“You ready?” I ask Ajay when we both are standing before the door. He nods but he looks anything but ready. At least he isn't running away.I am not sure why but I feel nervous for him. Maybe because I want him to have a happy ending unlike me.I open the door.“Shiva, what took y-” Gowri starts but her mouth snaps shut when she looks behind me. She gasps and that gets my SIL to look up. There is a variety of emotions that passes on my SIL's face as she takes in her husband. Her face turns from surprise to warm to affection to relief to anger. All in two seconds. I move away letting Ajay move towards my SIL. My SIL gets up from the chair and crosses her arms in front of her. Gowri gives me a confused look and I try to say through my eyes to just wait and watch. I think she gets the message because she doesn't say anything and shrinks back.I hold my breath as I watch Ajay go to his knees. Oh My God! I didn't think he meant it when he said he would do anything to get my SIL back. He joins his hands together. He is literally begging her and doesn't even care he has two audiences. It shows how much my SIL is important to him. My SIL opens her mouth but he precedes her in speaking.“I am sorry Aishu. I never meant any of those things. I am sorry that I wanted to divorce you. I realised how much you mean to me over the past few days. I know you hate me. I messed up. I am sorry that I pushed you away. I know you were hurt by those comments made by my mother. I thought giving you a divorce would put an end to all those but I don't think I can live without you. I am sorry. Please. Screw pregnancy. I don't care if you get pregnant or not. I want you to be with me. I can't bear the thought of losing you. I don't care who says what. If we can we can adopt a child from the orphanage. Hell, we will even move out from my parents and live alone, so that you don't have to hear my mother's mean comments but please accept my apology and allow me to be there for you. I still love you no matter what you think.”The room goes into slow motion as he utters those words. I could feel the love he has for her and I am left speechless. That People Is The Perfect Apology. Not what I did. Maybe if I had apologized like that, Gowri wouldn't leave me.My SIL has tears in her eyes and it looks like she knows that he means every word of it and believes it. Oh God! They look so adorable and I very badly want to them have a happy ending.“Promise me you never do this again,” my SIL says through her tears. Ajay vigorously nods his head. “I will never ever hurt you again,” he says in a sincere tone.My SIL opens her arms for a hug and God! I just want to shout out in happiness as he raises to hug her.I feel a tug on my sleeve and see Gowri motioning to the door. Oh, yes. We should give them some privacy. I follow Gowri out with a huge grin on my face. “You are grinning like an idiot,” Gowri says when we are out in the corridor. She too has a grin identical to mine.“You too have the same look,” I say for a moment forgetting our conversation in the morning.We both keep grinning at each other for a few seconds in our own world. I am sure the nurse who passed us gives a wide eyes look thinking we both lost our minds but who cares? I feel so high witnessing a reunion of a couple.“Is this how you feel every time you reunite a couple in your job?” I ask her.“Yes, it feels like I am high. On cloud nine.”I wish we could have that kind of romance. I think holding her gaze.I am not sure if I imagined it still from the high of witnessing the happy moment of the couple but her eyes soften and seems to say, ‘We will.’🍀🍀🍀🍀