PHI'S POV
I was trapped in a dream from which I could not awaken. I was moving through the sky, escaping the prospect of hell that gloomed on me, when a shadow encircled me, stripped me of my power to act or speak. I was only able to open my eyes when I felt someone's insisting glare on me.
I came face to face with Agamet, the man who had betrayed my father. I was small. He was gigantic, with piercing eyes and a nose that looked more like a beak. He reminded me of a bird of prey.
I looked around to familiarize myself with my new surroundings. It was a village of around ten long huts covered in tree barks. A line of tall dead trees circled the village, pointing in all directions to form a palisade.
Smells of freshly cooked food filled the air. They were eating plants I had never seen before. Curious plants with grains of different colours as well as a wild sort of rice. I had arrived in the middle of their evening meal.
That's when I noticed around fifty set of eyes were on me. Men, women and children. And especially Agamet's, whom I could tell my red eyes and dark wings intrigued.
I jumped off his hand as gracefully as I could and regained my usual size. I walked to the fire near him and warmed myself up by the flames. The night was cold. I had no idea how I'd gotten here, but I was sure that Halia and Tönx had something to do with it. Maybe they were even watching from afar?
"I take it that you are one of the new comers and you are here to ask me for my help," he said.
I didn't answer him. Could I really seduce this . . . creature?
It's not that he was repulsive. He carried an imperious nose, angular cheekbones, a basalt jaw. A side of his head was shaved completely while the other sported a long set of jet-black hair, and he had broad shoulders that contributed to his imposing and somber demeaonor.
I bit my lips, inhaled deeply, and tugged my long hair over my shoulder before attempting a smile.
"Who are you?" he asked again.
I shuddered. He hadn't seen me on the fortress wall. He didn't even know I'd witnessed my people getting slaughtered, my own father having his hand severed.
With great effort, I kept my composure and stared right into his eyes and began to dance while singing the story of my ancestors.
"A prince walked in a forest that was once like gardens.
He looked at the flowers as they came alive
And showed him a path to follow
Far away from the men's trail.
In their turn, the perfumes in the air
Whisper to him to follow the river
He listened the birds' songs
They seemed like voices to him
And he suddenly opened his eyes
To see a bird from paradise
The bird came down from the heaven
Its wings brushing against the trees
The prince did not dare to move
For fear that the bird would leave
That, for the prince, would be the cruellest of losses
He sees the bird land by the shore
Plucking its feathers one by one while dancing
After the feathers were removed in graceful movements
The prince discovered a girl like he had never seen
She was bird, flower, water, scent.
She was the prettiest of all women.
He approached so gently, so reverently
She did not flinch when she saw him near
With time, his human nature became pure
And became in harmony with nature
They did not need to speak to each other
She danced for him and when she finished
They laid in the rainbow of her plumage
And perpetuated their caresses
And wrote in the sand their oaths
The prince took her back to his palace and made her his wife
They lived together happily in the castle the prince made for her
Without walls and amid fountains and gardens
But soon the king died and left on the prince's shoulders
The weight of a crown and wars
The crown, like a prison, enclosed his spirit and made him blind
Phi-Bird danced for him, but he no longer heard the bird-fairy songs
Instead, he put on his armour, rode his iron horse, and brandished his sword
He left for three long years and envious princes and advisers
Swore to destroy the fairy who talks to birds
And distribute her belongings to children and beggars
Coming to see her dance
This fairy is a witch! they said
And already the priest prepared a pyre
People are so easily convinced when promised gold
They said Phi-Bird snatched infants and devoured them
Every night, at the bottom of a well
She must be burned
They brought her to the public place
And before being thrown in the fire
She asked if she could dance one last time
Wearing her feathers
Before them all, she dressed her feathers one by one
A perfume of flowers, sky and hibiscus
She danced on the tip of her toes the way birds do to fly away
She danced like the wind dances with the flowers and foliage
Sometimes, she opened her hand and people could
Breathe the fragrances
At last, she extended her wings
The executioner, impatient, pushed her in the flames
But she jumped and the crowd shouted their joy
And cried their happiness
To see her flying over the fire, rise into the sky and disappeared into heaven
It is said the king, upon finding his palace empty
Fell ill with sadness
Every day, new dancers came to his gardens
To imitate the fairy's dance
But none were prettier, cleverer or more graceful
They had tiaras sharper than a beak
They wore colours similar to the fairy's plumage
They sang songs inspired from celestial melodies
But none could fly."
During and after the dance, the crowd of thunder spirits were silent, mesmerized. I had never danced this way before. The forbidden dance of the fairies. So dangerous to mortals, and bewitching to any other creatures.
I was not a shy person, but for the first time I had to overcome this conflicting feeling brought by timidity.
I was also angry. Angry the world thought sensuality was the only power I ought to have, when I did not feel empowered at all. Rather, I found that finding my sensuality for this was more self-sacrificial. I felt dispossessed of a piece of my identity.
I could be strong, and bright, and nice, but that was irrelevant. The dance did not tell him who I was. And he did not want to. He was pleased with the mysterious creature I had to pretend to be.
In this world of men, sensuality is a woman's only power. As much as I regretted this, I was feeding the stereotype, playing the game, because that's what I had to do to save my people.
I finished the dance by depositing a kiss on the great thunder spirit's hands and fell to my knees only to bow to the superiority of his ego.
"My child," said Agamet. "You are certainly more convincing than your king."
I raised my head, hopeful.
So is he going to help me? Did I accomplish what the oracle had predicted?
He tapped the place beside him, beckoning me. I obeyed although, now that the hypnosis of the dance was broken, colour was rushing to my cheeks. A sign that a bit of Halia now was in me.
"I still don't know your name," the chief said.
"Phi," I replied.
"The same Phi as in your story?"
I shook my head. "She was my ancestor. Her name has been passed down through generations, in her honor."
"And an honor to meet you, it is," he said with a crooked smile before drinking tea from a ceramic beaker.
He offered me some. I recognized the wild berry taste, although it was sweeter than I had expectedâsweetened with the sap of a maple tree they'd reduced into a syrup.
"As it is to meet you," I told him. Gross. I tried my best to keep my voice steady. I could not afford to make a faux-pas.
"Now tell me," he said. "Why should I help you, Phi? A few years ago, a foreign ship surprised us by sailing into our waters. Its occupants then set foot on our lands and, right there, we noticed some of our women disappearâthey were taking them into their village and were never heard of again. I confronted their leader, the man you call Evil King, and he convinced me he would no longer touch the women of my tribe. Only women of enemy tribes. I settled for this."
I gulped. He settled for this? What a heartless bastard!
"I talked with your king before. Siegfried. And he did not offer anything of interest to me. In any case, this has been two foreign ships that come from the same far away land. How many more will come after you? And why should I help the people that come and occupy our land?"
I tried to forget the part where he didn't care about the women, relieved that the evil inside of me hadn't taken away all my empathy (I seemed to be myself more in the thunder spirits' village, away from the Evil King), and focussed on the fear he had of strangers living in the land he called home. First, I needed to show him he had nothing to fear from us. He needed to know who we were.
"We come from an alley, where we lived in poverty. A great number of us died because we were cut out from nature. We had to come here for our own survival. Can you really tell me what you are doing, turning your back on people in need, is better?"
"Of course, apart from the very wicked at heart, nobody really wants to turn their back on anyone," he said with such charisma I felt tempted to immediately agree with him.
He passed a quick hand through his hair, however. For the space of a split second, he looked away at something in front of him, something that was no longer there. The past?
I remembered how the giant spider had told me about his life and the way he had become ruthless leader he now was. I remembered the cruel way people had taken his son's life, and Agamet had never been the same again. His heart had become cold, cruel.
"But," he continued after a long silence "sometimes one must if saving them threatens one's very own culture. The strangers would bring our beliefs, our ways of life, and what will become of my people then?"
"People are always changing," I said. He was the proof of that. "Culture is always changing. Can you say that you have the exact same values as your ancestors? Society has no choice but to go forward, to evolve, wherever this may lead. However, if you do not wish to speak to us, we can agree to only stay on the piece of land our good king, my father, has traced for us, should you decide to give us this land. We need nothing more."
"And you would have no claim on our resources? This is hard to believe."
His lips pressed into a smirk. Our conversation was amusing him but I was still far from convincing him.
"If we had come here for any other reason than survival, if we had come here to take away your resources, that would have been wrong. We are a people of nature; nature is our Mother. We respect the earth's balance. We help nature run its course by taking care of all of the Mother's creatures. Every plant, every drop of water we consumed is returned to the Mother; we use our powers to make it so."
He remained quiet, seemingly thinking about my words. Or at least, I thought he was, until his hands reached for my head, to hold it in place while he kissed me.
I kissed him back, for my people, forcing myself not to let my anger show through. I truly did not possess myself. I was not free. Even my lips were not mine to keep.
Our fingers intertwined, I slipped my hands though his long ebony hair, and my mind travelled.
I thought of Feyn, who wasâto my reliefânot in the village.
If he had been here, could I even have gone through with this? s