The past two days I have been busier than planned. Which I'm a bit bummed about. I didn't have time to visit my father at the office. So not Julia either. It's kind of weird that you can kind of miss someone you've only just met. But I feel like I can be myself with her and that's so nice. She also gives me a feeling that I can't quite understand. Tuesday she made me forget everything around me. I no longer knew where and with whom I was. All I saw was her. Where I am normally completely in control of myself, I now seemed to be in a kind of trance.
I'm in the studio now and I have five minutes left before the photo shoot starts. After a long hesitation I decide to call my father. "Good morning Princess. To what do I owe your call? ".Luckily he answers quickly, which is usually a sign that I'm not disturbing him. "Good morning dad. Is Julia busy? ". I hope my father can't hear my question being a little uncertain. "Not extreme. Why? ".Yeah why did I ask that again. "Um.... I left my white sneakers in the office. I need them today. Could she perhaps bring it here? "."I do see them lying here. I'll ask my driver to bring them over." I seem to hear a smile in his voice, but there must be something funny in the office. I'm not too happy that he wants to send his driver, but it's no different. "He will be there in half an hour". I only now realize that I forget to answer. "Thank you dad. See you tomorrow night". Disappointed, I hang up the phone.
I startle when there is a knock on my dressing room door. "Kimberly, are you ready? ". It's Silvia on the other side of the door. "Yes, I am on my way ". I get up and really have to do my best to put a smile on my face. "What's the matter with you? ". Silvia asks when we walk to the studio together. "Nothing. Why? ". She puts an arm over my shoulders. "You know that I know you and that you are lying now, don't you? ". I shrug. "I'm just a little tired." Silvia shakes her head. "That's not it. If you want to talk about it, let me know." Sometimes it's nice that she knows me so well, but sometimes not at all. Fortunately, Silvia knows when she shouldn't go on about something. I can't explain to her what's going on either, because I don't even know it myself. "Oh yeah, my father's driver will bring my shoes in a bit". Silvia looks at me a bit surprised, but doesn't say anything else.
I'm having some trouble getting into the shoot, but I think they're still pretty happy. After twenty minutes, the doorbell rings. Those will be my shoes, which I really don't need at all. Silvia walks away and returns not much later. She holds my shoes in the air. "I didn't know your father had a new driver". I look at her in surprise. "What do you mean? Richard is still his driver". Silvia laughs. "Okay, then he turned into a young blonde lady." Did my father send Julia after all? "Didn't you let her in? ". Silvia looks at me a bit strange and shakes her head. "You never want me to let anyone in." I quickly put on a bathrobe. "Shit". I run to the door.
When I open the door I see Julia just walking at the end of the street. "Julia," I scream and am happy when she turns around. I make a movement of my arm for her to come, as long as she remains still there. "What is going on? ". Silvia has joined me in the meantime. I don't respond to it. I just look at Julia, who is getting closer and closer. "Hey," she says softly when she stands in front of me. I suddenly get a smile on my face. "You can come in if you want." Julia looks a little unsure at Silvia. "Don't mind Silvia. Sil is my best friend and manager. She's been with me for too long and because of that she can sometimes be a bitch like me." Silvia gives me a little nudge. Fortunately, I now also see a small smile on Julia's face. "And thank you. But wouldn't you introduce her to me," says Silvia. "This is Julia. She's my dad's new assistant. Just remember her face. I can tell you it's not that hard. You can always let her in". With a smile on her face, Silvia extends her hand to Julia, who then takes it. Judging by her red cheeks, she is a bit nervous. "Nice to meet you. Do come in. I dare not go against the queen's wishes. Maybe she will now manage to take a picture with a smile ". I feel my cheeks heat up. "Um, yeah, let me go back to work. We are already behind schedule. Julia, do you have time to stay for a while? Then we can have lunch together if you like." Julia nods with a smile on her face. "Yeah that's OK. I don't have to be back until three."
The three of us walk back to the studio. "I think you have some explaining to do". I look questioningly at Silvia who whispers to me. "You finally have your real smile on your face again. I haven't even been able to do that in recent years". I don't respond and turn to Julia. "Silvia will show you where to sit. I will try to be ready as soon as possible". Julia nods. "I have plenty of time, so you don't have to hurry for me. Pretend I'm not here". Yeah, she can say that, but it is not that easy. Just pretend she's not there.
The shoot is now going a lot better than before Julia was here. In between, I look her way every now and then. Julia is talking to Silvia, but I also see her looking at me regularly. Which makes me feel good. "I'll put on another bikini. As soon as it's in the picture, we can have something to eat," I call in that direction. Julia puts her thumb in the air. "I am anxiously waiting here to see what you will wear." With a big smile on my face I walk to the dressing room.
When I have found a nice bikini I quickly change. "Can I come in? ". It's Silvia on the other side of the door. "Sure ". She comes in and closes the door behind her. Which she then stands against. She crosses her arms. "Why haven't I heard about Julia yet? ". I sigh. "Why? ". I walk towards her to get out of the dressing room. "Not so fast you. She brings a smile to your face, so I'm curious". I push Silvia away from the door with care and look at her. "Julia is my father's new assistant. I met her on Monday. Tuesday we went shopping together. It seems to connect well between us. I like her. She is different from others". Silvia laughs. "Yes, that is clear. I won't keep you from work any further, so you can quickly go to lunch."
Back in the studio I take off my bathrobe. "Yeah, is it approved? " I ask Julia, when I realize that she has been watching me for a while. I see her nod with her red head. "You won't hear me complaining. It looks good on you ". My smile just gets bigger. I work my way through this series of photos surprisingly quickly.
When I'm done I quickly put on my clothes and shoes. I then walk to Julia and Silvia. "In the room next door is food that we can grab. We have an courtyard here. Shall we sit there? ". Julia nods. Then I look at Silvia, who is standing there with a smile on her face. "What time do you want me be back? ". Silvia looks at her watch. "Is half an hour enough? ". I nod. I am very happy with her. Normally we allow ourselves a ten minute break at the most. I'm taking Julia. We grab something to eat and drink and sit on a bench in the . "I hope Silvia wasn't too rude to you when you came here, was she? ". Julia shakes her head. "No. She said she would take the shoes and give it to you. I did ask if I could come in for a while, but you wouldn't let me in. Then I just turned around and left." I look at her with a smile. "Sorry. It's true that I don't want anyone to disturb me during a shoot. I didn't know you were coming either. My father had said he would send his driver". Julia smiles at me. "Can I disturb you? ". I nod. "I have no problem with you and that is not disturbing. I don't feel uncomfortable when you're there, I do with others."
We've been chatting about everything for at least twenty minutes when Silvia approaches. "Is it that late already? ". She shakes her head when I ask. "No, just take it easy. We're in no rush today. Do you mind if I join you for a while? ". I look at Julia questioningly. To which she shakes her head. "Find a place to sit I would say. To what do we owe your visit? ". Silvia laughs when I ask that. She sits down on a large stone opposite us. "Must there be a reason for that? Can't I just come and have a good time". I turn to Julia. "Now it comes. Kimberly would you please do this or could you please, "I tell her laughing. "Is she really that predictable? ". I nod. Then we both look at Silvia. Who sits there with a smile on her face and shakes her head. "I actually wanted to ask Julia something." I look at her in surprise and smile. "Well, yeah, I was in the right direction." Silvia looks at Julia. "Have you ever thought about becoming a model? ". Julia shakes her head. "That's not for me". "Shame. The photographer sees something in you. He asked if I would ask you to give it a try". I bump my knee gently against Julia's leg. "If he asks that, it means a lot, he doesn't say that just like that. I can't blame him, by the way." Julia gives me a small and uncertain smile. "If you want to try it, you can have your picture taken with Kimberly. Then at least you are not alone. You can choose yourself a bathing suit that you want to put on". Julia shakes her head hard when Silvia says so. I think I know why. "We can also be photographed in these . It's just about the feeling, to be in front of the camera," I say quickly. Julia gives me a small smile. "Don't know. I don't think it's for me". I look at her almost pleadingly. "There's only one way to find out. Nothing else happens with the photos. Those are for ourselves". Julia nods. "Okay, we can try. Won't you mess up with your schedule? ". I shake my head. "If there hadn't been time, Silvia wouldn't have asked." I see Silvia nod to confirm this even more.
Not much later we went inside. Julia has gone to the toilet. I'm waiting for her in the hallway. Silvia joins me. "Did I just say something wrong when I mentioned the swimwear? " she asks me softly so Julia can't hear it. "I don't know why, but Julia's back is quite a touchy subject. I was actually hoping you hadn't noticed". Silvia nods in understanding. "Okay, I'll remember. You solved it nicely. I could tell something about Julia's reaction, but I won't talk about it any further." I give her a smile. "Thank you. Was it really Kevin's idea or are you behind this? ". Silvia laughs. "I know. It could have been my action, but this time it really wasn't me. That does not mean that I am not very curious about the result". I believe her when she says that. Otherwise she would tell me honestly too. "Yeah, I am also curious. I have to admit it's been a long time since I've been this nervous before a shoot". Silvia puts her arm over my shoulders. "Just be true to who you are. Then it will be all right". I give her a small smile. "Thank you. I will do my best ".
Less than a minute later, Julia joins us. "Are we really going to do this? " she says a bit unsure and nervous. "Yep. We're just going to try. If you really don't like it we can stop at any time". I take her hand and take her to the studio. We walk into the studio hand in hand. Almost immediately I hear the camera flash. I glance at Julia, she looks even more nervous now. "Try not to pay attention to it. Just focus on me and forget that the others are there too". Julia sighs. "It's easy for you to talk. You are used to this. Just that sound of the flash is enough to make me nervous." I give her a smile. "We can also turn on music, then you may not hear it anymore ". Julia nods. "Any preference? ". Now she shakes her head. "Sil, can you put on some relaxing music? Just crank up the volume." Silvia sticks her thumb in the air.
I've taken Julia to the right place in the meantime. "Do what you like. I'll shoot it. I'll keep my mouth shut from now on so you don't notice I'm here." Julia and I both nod to the photographer. "Um, what should I do? ". Julia is still a bit uncertain in front of me. At that moment the music sounds really loud over the speakers. "Just do what comes to mind". Julia nods. I step closer to her. "Do you mind if I touch or grab you? ". She shakes her head. "No. I will let you guide me". I stand behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. I feel Julia stiffen for a moment, but then she puts her arms over mine. "You know what else is the advantage of that loud music? ". Julia shakes her head. "That they can't hear what we say". Julia turns her head in my direction with a smile on her face. "Can't they hear that? ". I shake my head and turn around so we're now facing the camera with our fronts. "That way I can gossip about them undisturbed". Julia shakes her head with a smile. I can feel that she is already completely relaxed. "Come on then". I can hear the laughter in Julia's voice. "Take the photographer. His name is Kevin and he has been my regular photographer for two years now. That's why I'm starting to recognize his traits too. Just pay attention. If it goes well and he is enthusiastic, he sweeps up his nose every so often. When things aren't going well, he tugs at his ear. When he spins around I know I'm doing really bad. Then it is as if he has to turn away for a while so as not to take out his frustration on me." Julia laughs. "Okay, I'll keep an eye out for it, but then he's often nauseous after a shoot with you." I let go of her and give her a little push. "Thank you for the compliment," I say laughing.
Julia suddenly takes my hand. "This is a beautiful song. Dance with me or can't we? ". I'm a little surprised when she asks, but I don't think twice. I put a hand on her lower back. "Please and that is fine. As long as we stay in the square a bit and don't make too fast moves". In pleasant silence and looking into each other's eyes we dancing until the last note of thinking out loud. Everything is happening to me inside. I don't really know what, just that it feels great.
When the song is over Julia stands behind me. She wraps her arms around me. "How long have you known Silvia?" she asks as she rests her chin on my shoulder. "From the age of fifteen, when I got my first role in the Netherlands. She starred in the same series. We got along pretty quickly. Sil really took me under her wing. That has grown into a close friendship. Silvia is the only one who knows everything about me. I really can't do without her. Three years ago she left acting and became my manager. She and Kevin dated for a while, but found out they were better off continuing as friends. At first they were afraid to admit it because they were afraid of my reaction. I just love that they get along so well. I like to have a close-knit team around me. She has had a new boyfriend for six months now, but I wonder how long that will last. That's not going so well. I really hope she finds the one, one day. If anyone deserves that, it's her." Meanwhile, I free myself from Julia's arms.
I sit down in an armchair, which is behind us. I tap the armrest. Julia understands what I want and sits down on the armrest. She puts her feet on the armchair. She looks at me with a smile. "I like to hear how you talk about each other. She also spoke of you with such love. By the way, how come you already had a part in a series here when you were fifteen? You were still living in England at the time, weren't you? ". I look at her with a smile. "True, but my mother is from here. In that respect, I'm surprised she still lives in London. But I used to visit my grandparents regularly in the Netherlands. At home we mainly spoke Dutch. My father also had his office here. That helped a lot. So you and Silvia talked about me? ". She nods. "What did she say about me? ". Julia shrugs. "Sorry, I totally forgot about that." I give her a nudge on the leg. "She mostly warned me. That she hoped I was sincere with you, otherwise I would get into trouble with her," she says with a laugh. "Sorry". Julia shakes her head. "It just shows that she cares about you a lot. I wish I had a friend like her". Julia suddenly starts laughing. "I think we are doing well. I've seen Kevin swipe his nose at least five times." I look at her smiling. "I didn't expect anything else either". I look at the clock. "Unfortunately we have to stop now. You must go or you will be back too late". I can see a hint of disappointment in Julia when I say that. Which in turn does me good. "That's too bad, I thought it was fun. Thanks for the experience. Although I didn't really have the feeling of being in a photo shoot, but just having a nice conversation with a nice person." I give her a smile and agree with her completely. "Don't mention it. Is it repeatable? ". As I say that I signal to Silvia that the music can be turned off and that it's done. "Sitting together like this is certainly worth repeating, but without a camera." I nod understandingly. "I hold you to that".
Silvia and Kevin join us. "That was really great. Have you never done modeling before?" Kevin asks Julia, who shakes her head. "Thank you and this was a one off. It's really nothing fot me. It's that I did it together with Kimberly, otherwise I would have felt really uncomfortable". Kevin nods in understanding. "If you ever change your mind, just let me know through Kimberly." We talk for a while and then unfortunately it is really time for Julia to go.
I had a really great day. Julia makes me feel good. The photos turned out really nice too. I'm also glad that Silvia likes her too. Her opinion means a lot to me. Silvia does have good people skills. She also thinks Julia is sincere.
I've been lying in bed with my phone in my hands for a while now. I've been doubting for a long time whether I should send Julia a message. I don't know if she's will like that. I decide to do it anyway.
K: Thanks for today. I found it very pleasant. The photos turned out really great.
I just now see that it's already two o'clock. I am therefore surprised that I get a message back almost immediately.
J: Umm who is this? How did you get my number?
K: Sorry, it's the bitch. I have your number from my father for emergencies.
J: Then you must have the wrong number.
You're not going to mean this. I feel really stupid right now. I check the number about ten times. I now know the first thing I'm going to do tomorrow. Calling my dad to tell me he'd better give me a good number next time.
K: My apologies. So this isn't Julia's number?
J: I'm Julia, but sorry, I don't know a bitch.
You cannot be serious. Do you know how stressed I am for nothing. I can laugh about it though.
K: Seriously? Do you know how much I'm sweating right now and how stupid I feel. I really thought I had the wrong number.
J: Sorry, sorry. I could not help myself. I also found it very pleasant. What's the emergency?
K: You're already forgiven and I can't sleep.
J: Um yes.... That is a real emergency
I hope she doesn't mind me just texting her.
K: Yeah, yeah I know. I am taking advantage of the fact that I am the daughter of. Sorry.
J: I don't mind. How did the rest of your shoot go?
K: Thank goodness and it went well today. We actually finished on time.
K: Can I ask you something?
J: You already do.... But of course, you can always ask me something. What did you want to ask?
I am now lying on the bed with a big smile. But now ask that question. I don't know why I want to discuss this with her. Normally I discuss these things with Silvia, but I don't really feel like the questions she will ask me. I'm sure she'll start talking about Julia then. Silvia also couldn't stop talking about Julia after she left.
K: Yeah the question. Suppose someone asks you on a date, but you already know it would never work out. Would you go on a date or not?
K: Sorry I don't know why I'm asking you this. I've only just met you, but I feel like I can trust you.
J: Good to hear that you trust me. That feeling is mutual, by the way. It's a tough question. If it is a nice person, you can still go on a date, for a pleasant evening. Who knows that it will feel different afterwards and that there may be more to it. You can also tell them nicely that there is nothing left in it and then let him decide.
K: No, never that it can become something! But you do have a point that I can put it to him. Thank you.
J: Well, you're very sure. How come?
K: I'll explain that to you another time. I'll let you sleep now. Just noticed it's already half past three. Sleep well
I don't want to tell her yet that I don't like men. I'm way too scared that she'll think I have bad intentions. Sure, Julia is really attractive and she makes me feel good inside, but I know when I don't stand a chance. I think we can build a good friendship. I know she likes men. So I don't want to drive her away from me.
J: Oops so late. Sleep well Sunshine.
K: Sunshine?
J: Good night.
With abig smile on my face and a nice feeling inside I put my phone aside and thentry to sleep.