40. The Warren Part 5 â Rematch
âThe fuck was that light?â Peter asks.
I donât have much time. What has the best chance of turning the tables here?
*Forest Marks â Two*
Mandragora Photosynthesis
Pitcher Treefolk Photosynthesis
Twisted Treefolk Twisted Apple
Twisted Treefolk Roots
Pitcher Treefolk Vines
Mandragora Plant Growth Magic
Pitcher Treefolk Plant Growth Magic
Twisted Treefolk Bark Skin
Twisted Treefolk Earth Magic
Twisted Treefolk Cock
Pitcher Treefolk Stomach Acid
I could try to force-feed him a Twisted Apple. Maybe the tree roots would trip him? Unless the roots are growing from my feet⦠Bark Skin would add a second layer of defense, but will it be enough? If I get Stomach Acid, I could puke on him, but wouldnât any that gets on me burn my skin, too?
*Selected Mandragora Photosynthesis!*
*Selected Pitcher Treefolk Vines!*
I hope this works.
âIâd run if I were you,â Peter says as he looks me up and down. âRetreat to the surface and leave your boy toy with his daddy.â The Bunny Patron thrusts his hips as he talks, shaking his fat ass and making me want to puke again.
âNot a chance,â I say as I rise to my feet and don a new set of my crab armor. âIâm going to kick your butt.â
âToo bad.â Peter tosses the carrot in one hand as he talks. âI donât know what spell you used to heal those wounds, but I doubt you can do that more than once a day. Thatâd be overpowered as fuck, heh, heh, heh.â
I think heâs right. If Olindia is âexhaustedâ as my status menu suggests, then she probably refreshes at sunrise. Iâll have to rely on my new marks.
Peter advances on me, carrot club hoisted over a shoulder, resuming our battle. I activate Wolf Rush, dodge a stone pillar, counterspell a thrown rock with my Earth Magic, and almost mistime a duck when he swings the carrot at my head.
The biggest problem Iâve had dealing with Peter is Fast Learnerâs lackluster performance. Up until now, fighting the Fishman, then the Mole-men, Orcs, Treefolk, and Suka, my opponents have had straightforward combat styles. Theyâve had movement patterns, predictable timing, and one or two offensive options at most. The longer the fight goes on, the better I understand them.
Peter hasnât been like that. The way he switches between fighting styles almost feels like dealing with separate opponents one after another. Some of what Iâve learned has carried over, sure, but I donât feel that godlike sense of borderline precognition I expect at the end of a long fight. Iâm having to re-learn his timing with the carrot club, now. Worse, I have to unlearn his timing with the haymakers the carrot is replacing. Unless he sneaks in a punch when I least expect itâ¦
Yeah, if Peter figures out my cornerstone ability, heâll probably start poisoning my Fast Learner with a false pattern before increasing his tempo to land a killing blow. Thatâs the kind of fighter he is. I wouldnât be surprised if he has something else tucked away, waiting to spring it on me.
Then Iâll just have to force him to use all his tricks!
Iâve been stalling and dodging while learning how to use my Treefolk Vines. Itâs super weird. I have these subcutaneous nodules at key points around my body, mostly at joints like my elbows, hips, wrists, and shoulders. With an expenditure of will, these nodules produce prehensile plant vines at a burst-growth rate of several feet per second. Thereâs a cooldown period after that.
The next time I dodge Peterâs carrot club, I launch my vines at his arm, attempting to entangle him. The Bunny Patron reacts without surprise, ruthlessly yanking his arm back to pull me off my feet. His left handâs rocky knuckle duster punches me in the solar plexus before I can blink.
Iâm sent flying again, hitting another stone pillar, and all my crab armor shatters. Despite everything, Iâm right back where I started. Sorry, Olindia⦠Except, his punch didnât hurt that bad. I donât think I broke any bones either and Iâm strangely clearheaded after deserving a concussion. What gives?
Then I remember Slime Constitution. I see! It doesnât heal wounds; rather, it prevents them. Basically, my bones and internal organs have become slightly gelatinous, thusly resistant to blunt damage. Iâll still bleed if cut, and Iâll die if Iâm flattened, but I can tank harder hits now.
âYeah, Iâm not letting you get back up this time, girlie.â
The Bunny Patron looms over me, club hoisted high in both hands. Okay, that could definitely kill me. Iâm prone with precious few seconds remaining, and heâll probably block my escape route with Earth Magic. A mental check reveals my vines snapped clean at the nodules when Peter punched me, and theyâre on cooldown.
Iâm up shit creek without a paddle.
âAAAHHH!!! MY FUCKING BALLS!â Peter drops his carrot club and reaches for his nuts as a lone figure dashes from between his legs to my side.
âCottontail?â I stare in shock as my favorite bunny girl spits out a chunk of flesh and wipes blood from her mouth. I underestimated her, assuming I was alone down here, but I had two faithful companions at my side!
âI wonât let you hurt Alex, father.â
âYou canât be here,â I tell her as I get to my feet. âHeâll kill you!â
âI can help. We just need to split his attention.â
âIâM GONNA SPLIT YOU IN HALF, BOY!â
Peter summons two carrot clubs, one in each hand, and starts throwing them rapid-fire. I knew he was hiding a trump card! Heâs definitely going all-out this time. The flying carrots dig furrows in the ground where they land or leave impact craters on the stone pillars.
Cottontail and I both dodge aside. My long-eared lover is surprisingly agile, bouncing from floor to stone pillar, then rebounding onto the floor with bunny hops. Seeing her move gives me an idea.
The stone pillars are everywhere in this room, but I havenât been using them to my advantage.
I throw ember spears to retake Peterâs aggro. The burning darts illuminate the underground lair in bursts of sparks as they impact the Bunny Patronâs sides and back. In his rage, Peter ignores his smoking fur to turn and throw carrot clubs my way.
My vines are off cooldown. I extend them on my right side to grab a stone pillar, then reel them in to pull me aside. The carrot club sails past me as Iâm slung toward the pillar. Landing on my feet, I spring off the vertical surface using Harpy Lightweight to replicate Cottontailâs bunny hop.
The result is a new movement style thatâs faster than my Wolf Rush and more stamina-efficient because I can reuse my vines. I donât have to regrow them each time as theyâre dexterous enough to release the stone pillar as I leap away. That also removes the growth cooldown.
Peter isnât fast enough to chase me down, and neither his carrots nor Earth Magic can hit me while Iâm focused on dodging. Iâm slower when throwing spears, but thatâs why Cottontail came to help. She jumps in to bite him whenever Peter doesnât show her respect. Then I land a few ember spears whenever he splits his attention to attack Cottontail.
The longer he ignores my embers, the more fur catches on fire. Soon, heâs smoking all over and the pain has destroyed his logical decision-making. Heâs throwing carrots in all directions in a berserk rage, but thatâs the kind of brainless fighting style my Fast Learner is actually best at predicting.
Cottontail hides behind the pillars while I start tossing ember spears with impunity. Peter and I throw projectiles at one another non-stop, but all of mine are landing, and none of his can hit me. Dozens of cuts lacerate the Bunny Patronâs sides and limbs. Heâs bleeding all over, but not enough to put out the fire.
Finally, he stops, drops, and rolls. Peter writhes on the ground until the dirt smothers his burning fur.
âSurrender or die.â
I hold the tip of an ember spear to his eye.
Covered in mud and blood, the Bunny Patron looks up at me, and says, âFuck you, girlie. I give up.â
*Trounced the Bunny Patron â One Fuzzy Mark!*
I smile with satisfaction when I read the new markâs title. While I didn't win totally solo, engendering loyalty in others is just another form of power, right? None of Peter's children or lovers leaped to his aid. I feel justified in accepting this mark.
âDamnit, I shouldâve recognized those tattoos from the start. I just couldn't believe it because you still look mostly human. But youâre not. Youâre the new Echidna.â
Oh, my God Beast!
What the fuck is an echidna?