Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Mum, it Wasn’t Her Fault

Justina narrowed her eyes. “Just shut up! You don’t know anything.”

She turned and stormed out the back door, slamming it hard.

Living here was gonna suck big time.

I took some deep breaths and tried to relax. I found some bread, butter, and Vegemite and made myself a sandwich.

“Whoa, that’s a lot of Vegemite.”

I turned to find Kaydan behind me and relief flooded through my veins. “It’s nice like this.”

“How can you stand it so thick? It’s like a black blanket on the bread.”

“Easy. You should try it sometime.”

“No thanks. Too salty. I like it spread nice and thin. I like to be able to taste the bread and butter too.”

I chuckled, which surprised me considering how crappy I’d been feeling. I liked Kaydan even more.

We talked about nothing much for a while as he made himself a Vegemite sandwich with such a small amount of it smeared across the bread that I told him he should just have bread and butter. It was relaxed and easy. He seemed like a nice guy.

The ghost in my room kept entering my thoughts. What had happened to her? How long ago did she die? Why was she still here? I thought that maybe Kaydan would be the right person to ask, so I just came straight to the point.

“You must get a lot of people coming and going in this place.”

“Yeah. Some. Why?”

“I was wondering who was in my room before me.”

His face went pale. “Why do you ask?”

Oops. I hadn’t thought of a sane reason for wanting to know. “Uh, I just feel a sort of negative energy sometimes.”

That was lame.

His eyebrows rose. “Oh, are you into all that feng shui stuff?”

“Um, kinda.”

It was a good enough reason and I probably wouldn’t have thought of it myself. I thanked him silently.

He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“Why not?”

“You might not want to stay in there.”

I crossed my arms and stuck out a hip. “Try me.”

“Okay.” He scratched his chin and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “The girl that was in there died recently — but don’t worry, she didn’t die in the room.”

His eyes glistened with unshed tears and I felt a pang in my chest.

Me and my big mouth. I hadn’t thought this through. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Why don’t I just twist the knife some more? Why don’t I think before I speak?

“It’s okay.” He looked out the window. “Her name was Kassandra. She was a friend of ours.”

“I’m so sorry,” I didn’t know what else to say.

“She was bitten by a Funnelweb spider and didn’t get to a hospital in time.”

“Oh… That’s terrible.”

She’d told me about the bite, but hearing it from Kaydan felt more intense. More real. Funnelwebs were kinda everywhere, but it was rare for someone to be bitten and even rarer for them to die. There was antivenom available that could be administered pretty quickly.

It was like he read my mind. “She had a heart condition, so there wasn’t anything they could do…”

I was lost for words and my mouth hung open, but I was saved by the bell. Literally. The doorbell.

I heard voices as someone answered the door and as they got closer, I recognised Mum’s voice and rushed to meet her as she entered the kitchen.

“Hello, Maddelyn. I’ve brought some of your things…”

I wrapped my arms around her and felt a tinge of panic when she didn’t return the hug for a second or two, but then she pulled me closer. Why did she call me Maddelyn and not Maddie?

I breathed in the scent of her perfume and felt like I was home. I didn’t realise how much I’d truly missed her until that moment. I didn’t want to let her go.

We stepped back from each other and she looked around. “How are you settling in? Are they feeding you?”

Kaydan said a quick hello before excusing himself and slinking out the door.

“I’m okay, so far. And yes, they’re feeding me. Tracy and Anna-Marie are wonderful cooks.” I could see her smile falter a little and kicked myself. She wasn’t the best cook in the world. In fact, she was terrible. We had take-away dinners more often than not. I scrambled to change the subject. “We went into town today and I had a good look around. It’s a nice place and the clock tower in the main street is awesome.”

Her smile returned. “Yes. I’ve read about that one. It’s a war memorial for the ANZACs.”

Thinking about that only reminded me of the ghost I’d seen standing near it.

I pushed it from my mind. “Do you want a cuppa? I was just about to make one.”

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“Yes. That would be great. Do they have any chamomile?”

I had no clue because I didn’t drink the stuff. “I’m not sure.”

A quick look in the pantry and I could see that they had chamomile, jasmine, green tea and rose tea, as well as just the ‘normal’ black tea that I liked.

“Here we go.”

As I turned to put the kettle on, there was a cup of tea already made sitting on the bench. My stomach dropped. Tracy had made this for me and I’d totally forgotten about it.

I couldn’t tip it out — I felt guilty — so I made Mum a fresh cuppa and reheated mine in the microwave, then we sat down at the table.

Mum showed me what she’d brought; clothing and shoes and a few of my things from home. My heart ached. I missed these things, but I didn’t want them brought here. I just wanted to go home.

“Thanks, Mum.” I smiled, but felt a little teary. I wasn’t going to cry over some clothing and knickknacks.

Mum looked like the cat that ate the pigeon, but I knew better than to ask her what she was hiding. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long to find out what she was bursting to tell me.

“Here you go.” She pulled a wad of cash out of her purse. “I’ve brought you some money. You’ll be needing it till you get your own money sorted properly.”

“Is my money finally sorted?”

“Yes. You can get Sickness Benefits now and be able to buy new clothes and get your hair done.”

Finally. I wasn’t sure why they hadn’t been paying me — we’d applied for a payment months ago — but now I’d have some money and would be able to pay my way. I’d pay Tracy back for the clock and lunch as soon as I could.

She reached into her bag again and pulled out a box. A box with a picture of a smart phone on it. My heart leapt. She’d bought me a new phone?

“Here you go,” she said again. “It’s secondhand, but I knew you wouldn’t mind. I knew you’d need one now that you’re all the way out here in the sticks.”

This was hardly the “sticks,” but whatever. Tears welled in my eyes. My heart was all over the place. I didn’t know whether to be thankful to her for getting me a phone or to tell her off for not buying it months ago when I really needed it to keep in touch with friends and the outside world. “Thanks, Mum.”

She pushed it across the table at me. “Don’t go mushy on me now. It’s just a phone. You need it.”

I wanted to rip the box open like a kid at Christmas, but took my time with it.

“I charged it for you and put a new SIM card in it. It’s ready to go. Do you remember your ID and password?”

“Yeah.”

I pressed the power button and waited and tried desperately not to think of what had happened to my old phone. I pushed those thoughts aside once the phone booted up and the word hello came up on the screen.

Mum just sat quietly while I ran through the setup process, then smiled once it was done. “This is your new phone number and here’s mine.”

I put them in and tried to remember Alina’s phone number, without success. The middle three digits were too fuzzy in my memory. “Do you have Alina’s number?”

She shook her head. “Sorry.”

“Can you give her my new number when you see her, please? I’d love to catch up when she’s not working.”

Mum looked reluctant. “Okay.”

I sighed. “Mum, it wasn’t her fault.”

“I know.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It was Alina’s idea to go out to a nightclub that night, but she didn’t cause the accident.

We took my things to my room and talked while I showed her around, but she seemed preoccupied. I tried not to let it bother me. Instead, I asked her how things were going with her and with work.

“Oh, you know. The usual. Work is stressing me out right now. But I’m doing fine. I’m managing.”

I relaxed a bit. So it was work. Not me.

She left just before dinner and I wished I could get in the car with her. I wanted to tell her how much I hated it here already, but what was my reason for wanting to leave? I missed my mummy? Justina didn’t like me? I’d sound like a petulant child. And I couldn’t tell anyone all the ghost-related reasons.

So I watched her drive away with tears burning behind my eyes.

I wiped my eyes as I headed into my room to start installing apps on my new phone. As I reached the door, I could hear voices inside and I stopped, the key halfway to the lock.

“I’ve let her down. If she wasn’t at home for days on end when I went there, then that means she’s still missing. How can I help find her now?”