My pulse was racing in my chest. As my palms began to sweat, my fight or flight instincts kicked in, and I backed towards the door. He turned to look at me, his face twisted into a terrifying smile.
"Nevaeh Williams," he spoke after observing me for a long moment. "You need not fear me."
"What do you want?" I kept my distance as he moved to the center of the room.
"Have a seat," he gestured to the end of the bed. I kept my eyes on him as I moved, sitting lightly on the mattress. Adrenaline was pulsing through me, and I was on edge, observing him carefully. "I'm going to talk now, and you're going to listen. Don't speak until I am finished."
"Fine," my eyes trailed him as he began to pace, using his cane for support.
"A little over one year ago, the government was forced to step in when a young man and an entertainer fell in love. They plotted to leave the society, and punishment had to be served," he began, examining my bedroom. "There's more to the story, but I'm only going to give you the base information. This couple spoke out against the New Society, and many were ready to join their side. We were on the verge of another rebellion.
"I was put in charge of the mission to put them down. For months, we gathered information and evidence, watching them closely. They were likely starting to believe that they could escape.
"We raided the manor, and eliminated everyone in the family. All but one died. It was truly a tragedy, but necessary. I presume you realize by now that I am referring to young Noah Ivanov, and your sister.
"She had the same fire in her as you. It stayed in her eyes up until I pulled the trigger to put her down. She was too dangerous-a threat to the New Society. I did admire her spirit, though," he turned to look at me emotionlessly. "You may speak freely."
"Why not just let them leave?" I asked, masking the hatred burning within me. So you're the one who killed her. I'll make you pay. Somehow, I'll make you suffer as much as she did. You can die choking on your own blood too, for all I care.
"Oh, child," he frowned. "You disappoint me. I thought you were intelligent enough to figure out that, at the very least," his tone was mocking, as though he were explaining something simple to a child. "You see," he continued, pursing his almost non-existent lips. "It's all about setting a precedent for future criminals. If we let one person slip out, others follow. However, if we instill fear into the citizens, and put down those who oppose us, the people are easier to control."
"Why are you telling me all of this?" I asked suspiciously.
"I'm telling you this because you're not like the other citizens. You have a sense of free will that many no longer possess, thanks to genetic breeding. That's why you were put in this roll. You would have had too much power as a citizen. As an entertainer, not many are willing to hear your voice," he explained slowly, his voice cold and careless.
"I thought entertainers were chosen because of blood ties," I rose an eyebrow, trying subtly to get more information. There were millions of questions burning in my mind, despite the icy fear I was trying to hide.
"They usually are, but there are circumstances that allow us to step in directly and assign people to the institution if we see fit," he began pacing again. Finch was right. I thought wearily. Damn he's good.
"Are my sister and I one of those special circumstances?" I asked boldly, a challenge in my voice. He stepped towards me. He reeked of cigar smoke and whisky.
"My dear, I can't give you all the answers," he laughed humorlessly, reaching out and lifting a strand of my hair. I stiffened, eyeing him cautiously. "As I said before, you don't need to fear me. At least not tonight."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked as he threaded the strand through his fingers, pressing it to his nose. He took a deep wiff, sighing in pleasure at the scent of my hair products. I resisted the urge to shove him away as he spoke again.
"Your beloved master is very fond of you," he said distractedly. "And you have clearly fallen for him as well."
"I'm not in love with him," I shook my head.
"I never said you loved him. Besides, darling, shouldn't we just agree not to lie to each other?" he smirked cruelly, letting the loose strand fall as he stepped back.
"It's not a lie," I insisted, glaring at him.
"Careful, child," he tsked slowly. "Your master may have made a deal with me to keep you safe, but that protection only goes so far."
"He made a deal with you so that you wouldn't just kill me, then?" I asked, standing. He wasn't so intimidating, now that he was no longer towering over me.
"No harm will come to you so long as you continue to obey the laws," he snickered snidely.
"What about Noah?" I asked.
"I am not obligated to do anything for Mr. Ivanov," he shook his head. I could tell he was enjoying my frustration.
"Then make a deal with me," I said. "For Noah, and all of my friends."
"What could you possibly have to offer me?" he asked coldly, snickering.
"I'll continue to obey your laws. I'll forget this, and I'll be a slave to the New Society," I offered. It was a lie, but I'd fake anything to protect my loved ones.
"Nevaeh," he frowned. "We agreed on honesty. Besides, you're going to have to think of a much better offer than that."
"What do you want, then?" I asked, locking my eyes on his, gazing at him seriously. He stepped forward, leaning close to my ear.
"I don't want you dead," he paused. His breath smelled sour. "Yet."
He moved slowly to the door, turning to look back at me as he turned the handle. "Take this as a warning, child. If you set a single toe out of line, I will have Noah Ivanov, and all of your 'friends', euthanized immediately-after extensive torture, of course," his voice was serious, deadly, and threatening.
"You can't do that," I said weakly. The blood had drained from my face, and I was shaking.
"Oh, but I can, dear. It's easy to make them look like rebel allies," he smirked, sweeping out of the room. Was that a confirmation of the rebellion? Is it really out there? Hope sprung up in my chest, immediately crushed by Mr. Wickenburgh's threat. Even if it is, there's nothing I can do. I won't risk the lives of Noah and my friends.
I sunk numbly onto the edge of the bed, breathing heavily as my heart thudded fearfully against my ribs. What deal did Noah make for me? I felt panicked, and I was sweating.
I kept obsessing over everything he'd told me, fearful tears collecting in my eyes. Natalia. Her name caught in my mind and I began to sob, burying my face in my hands.
"Nevaeh," a familiar voice said. I turned to see Noah in the doorway, his expression mixed between concern and relief. I jumped from the bed and sprinted into him, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest as the tears streamed down my face, he pulled me towards the bed and cradled me in his lap, stroking my hair. "What did Mr. Wickenburgh say to you?" he asked clutching me to him. I could barely get the words out at first, but then they rushed out, bringing fresh tears.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, looking up at Noah. "Why didn't you tell me he's the one who killed her?"
"I thought it would only cause more pain," his eyes tightened. "When there's nothing either of us can do about it."
"I guess," I wrapped my arms around his neck, nuzzling my face under his jaw. He held me tightly, running his fingers through my damp hair. Tears continued to fall, dampening his shirt.
He lifted me and placed me on the bed, pulling the sheets and blankets over me. He sat beside me, still stroking my hair. He looked horribly sad, his onyx eyes liquid.
"Try to sleep," he murmured as I gripped his hand.
"Stay with me?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Not tonight, love," he said, kissing me softly on the forehead. The kiss was long, and almost seemed sad. He left the room quickly once he stood, flipping off the lights. The music was still pounding downstairs, annoying me to the point that I had a hard time falling asleep. I tossed and turned until I was finally too exhausted to move.
Images of Noah dancing filled me, following me into my dreams, where we danced together again. I was in a pretty white dress. The details were blurry, and I could only see his face clearly.
He froze in my arms and fell limply to the ground. Blood spilled from his mouth as he clutched his throat. He was changing, morphing.
I sobbed, unable to wake up as I held my bleeding sister in my arms. I screamed her name, as Mr. Wickenburgh appeared. He held a hand gun and was laughing maniacally. Terror filled me as he became the focus of the dream.
He held the barrel to my forehead and I was begging and pleading with him. I heard him pull the hammer back with a loud click, and closed my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks as he pulled the trigger.
___________________________________
The next few parties were uneventful. However, Noah was avoiding me again. He spent as little time as possible in the same room as me, and didn't speak whenever we had to be alone.
Zen had thrown the Nakamura party. I'd discovered he'd been a member of the council for the past five years, but new elections were coming up. The party itself had been a boring, social event where everyone had just stood around and talked. The Karusko, Rivera, and Sidorova parties had been much the same.
We only had two more parties left, and the President's would be the largest, and the last. We'd arrived at Ruby city early this morning, and Noah had left, leaving me alone in the hotel suite.
The windows looked over the city again, but Noah had said he owned this room, and the room in Central. He owned several rooms in each city, but had chosen not to stay in them during our round trip.
The room was large, the bedroom open to the rest of the room. There was an extravagant white and black marble kitchen, a mahogany dining room, a gold and black themed bathroom, and a luxurious living room with a large TV and black couches.
It was late afternoon, and I was standing at the window, looking down at the people scurrying in the streets below. We were only on the third floor this time, and I could see everything clearly. Snow fluttered to the ground, and cars honked in the intersection to the right of the building.
Since the weather was controlled under the invisible dome, everywhere in the society was affected by the same seasons. It would be snowing everywhere else, now, too. Studies had shown that experiencing seasons was necessary for mental health, and so the dome altered with the real world's changes. Otherwise, I'm certain the energy spent on the weather would be focused somewhere else.
I sighed, pacing back to the couch. The party wasn't until six, and Noah had told me he wouldn't be back until it was time to leave. I was supposed to get dressed and meet him in the lobby. He'd given me a keycard, but I hadn't bothered to run. Something was holding me back. More like someone. I thought wryly.
I yawned as I sat down, leafing through a fashion magazine. There was an empty, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hated that he wouldn't talk to me. Despite my better judgement, I could admit I'd gotten attached. It was like losing a friend, and my chest felt weighted, my throat tight.
I had to pretend it didn't bother me, mostly because of the warning Mr. Wickenburgh had given me. There was another part of me, though, didn't want to admit that it hurt.
I thought we'd gotten past this. He'd started to open up, and I'd genuinely believed I meant something to him. He'd been so kind and caring towards me that he'd fooled me, despite my defenses.
Yet, if he'd truly cared, how could he ignore me so completely? How could that decision be so easy, to the point that he seemed uncaring and distant? He only spoke when necessary now, giving only short and rushed answers whenever I tried to speak to him. He hadn't looked at me at all since his party. It's driving me insane.
I sighed, leaning back against the couch. You've really done a number on me, haven't you, Noah? I smiled bitterly. Your always in my head. Why won't you leave?
Of course, I got no answer. My messenger bracelet buzzed and I tapped it to examine the hologram. The message was from Ari, simple and sweet.
Have fun tonight. It's almost over, then we can have a girls night! XOXO ;*
I smiled, typing back.
Girls night sounds fun. I can't wait. :-)
I lay dow on the couch, watching as a bird flew past the window. Another text came through, and I looked at it, sitting up straight as I read the name.
I'll be back for you at 5:30pm. Be ready.
It read. Noah. I bit my lip anxiously. It was 4:25 now. May as well shower and get ready now. I stood slowly, stretching my arms and back. The bathroom was only a few feet away on my right. I paced towards it slowly, feeling tired from last night.
I undressed slowly, remembering everything in detail. I'd spent the evening with Finch, Lizzy, and Nora. Mr. Ivanov hadn't bothered me since the awful encounter in my bedroom. Even so, I'd been wary of him, and tried to keep him in my line of sight so he couldn't sneak up on me.
As I rinsed off my body, I remembered how Noah had disappeared as soon as we arrived, with Angelina and Mr. Wickenburgh. I'd seen Angelina once or twice, but I hadn't seen Noah until he'd texted me to come to the car.
We'd driven all night, and he'd feigned sleep to avoid conversation. I'd known he was faking as he wasn't snoring, and knowing he would go this far to avoid me had hurt. We'd been so close to finally breaking the ice between us.
I sighed as I toweled off and sorted through my bags. He'd only spoken to me briefly when we arrived this morning, all of it over breakfast, but he'd excused himself and left the room abruptly the moment he'd finished eating.
I began dressing, drying and curling my hair. I'd spent the entire day bored out of my mind, skimming through various books and flipping through TV channels. I'd eaten a tuna sandwich for lunch, and took a three hour nap.
I was currently trying to prepare myself for what ever mood swing Noah might throw at me tonight, while I began dusting make up over my face. I hope this distance between us closes in, soon. I sighed, glossing my lips and lining my eyes.
I stood straight to arrange my hair into a curly golden bun. Two loose strands fell loosely, framing my face as I stuck diamond pins into my hair. I wrapped my fathers necklace around my wrist as Ari had done, tucking it safely beneath a royal blue and white corsage. Fluffy fabric flowers lined the band, elegant and pretty. Each flower had a diamond center.
The dress was mostly royal blue, it's skirt hanging just above my knees. A pretty layer started just beneath the silky and thick under-bust band, made of thin mesh. The bodice was white, sweetheart in shape with a layer of blue lace that spanned over one shoulder. Tiny diamonds clung to the skirt and accented the lace simply, like little stars.
I pulled a diamond necklace and matching earrings on as I examined my make up. The glittery shadow matched the blue of the dress, and my eyes were winged with thick black liner. I'd put on feathery false lashes, and faintly tinted my cheekbones. My full lips were a glossy pink. Would you look at that. I smiled wryly. I'm starting to get used to all this make up.
I looked like a party girl, and I grimaced bitterly. I wonder if Noah will like this. I sighed, leaving the bathroom. He probably won't care. My bracelet vibrated and I checked it curiously. The clock said it was 5:15 as I read the message from Noah.
I'm on my way. Be there soon.
I sighed and left the hotel room, my silver heels clicking down the hall. I couldn't remember which family we'd be hosted by tonight. The name had been lost with in me since Ari had told me about the seasonal parties.
I didn't really even know which members were cabinet, or which were higher up. Many had been placed into their positions five years ago, but the President had remained the same. I tried to remember seeing her at the parties as I pressed the elevator button.
There were posters of her face everywhere in the society, and she appeared regularly on the news. She had been the president for twenty-five years, elected at the age of twenty-two. She always wore a white suit, and she rarely smiled. Her silver-grey hair was cut at her shoulders, straight and perfect. She had pale skin that was beginning to wrinkle, and bold, grey eyes.
The people in the New Society knew her as President Galina Mikaelova Volenski, and she spoke in a harsh accent she called Russian. She seemed stubborn and assured in the way she spoke, and her judgements were said to be merciless.
I was fairly certain I hadn't seen her, and wondered if she'd even bother to come to her own party, or if she'd have more important work to do, instead. She didn't seem like the kind of person to relax for any sort of social gathering.
"Excuse me," I said as the elevator doors opened and a group of people clamored inside. I worked through them as they chattered drunkenly, making it out just before the doors slid closed.
The lobby was also filled with people, who were clamoring towards the bar. I slipped through them, pressing the front doors open. Chilly air blew over me, cooling me instantly. I stood, shivering in the snow until a black car pulled up.
Noah rolled down the passenger window and leaned over the seat to look at me questioningly. I hurried into the car, shaking the snow from my hair.
"Why didn't you wait inside?" He demanded as I rolled up the window. He pulled away from the hotel, shaking his head at me.
"There were too many people in there," I shrugged, turning up the heater.
"So you'd brave the cold to avoid a crowd?" he rose his eyebrow, glancing over at me.
"I've endured worse," I rolled my eyes, warming my fingers. This was the most he'd spoken to me in days, and I found myself feeling hopeful that everything would finally start to return to normal.
"And if you get sick?" he asked.
"I'll be fine. Besides," I looked over at him with a smirk. "I've nursed you back to health. You could return the favor."
"Ugh," he rolled his eyes, gripping the wheel with both hands. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he gritted his teeth, and the car became silent.
I looked out the window, having given up on making him talk when he didn't want to. We were stopped at a red light, and a pretty girl was driving a red car next to us. She looked at me curiously as the light turned green, and she pressed the gas.
We turned, and moved off the highway. I sighed and suck back in the seat, feeling restless and chewing my lip. I cracked my fingers in annoyance and turned to look at him.
"You could be less obvious about it, you know," I grumbled, folding my arms stubbornly.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, and despite his effort to seem careless, a hint of curiosity lit his voice.
"You're ignoring me," I said certainly, glaring at him. "I swear to god, if you try to deny it-"
"I'm not ignoring you," he said smoothly, glancing over at me seriously.
"Yes," I glared. "You are. It's so obvious it makes me want to hit you!"
"You're rather violent, this evening," he rolled his eyes.
"Oh my god," I gritted my teeth in frustration. "What happened to the guy that actually gave a damn?" I demanded.
"I only gave a damn, as you say, because I was interested in you," he said coldly. I flinched back, staring at him in shock.
"What, and now suddenly you aren't?" I demanded, my eyes stinging with hurt and anger.
"I guess I got bored," he shrugged. I didn't know how to respond, so I just stared at him. He was glaring out the windshield, his onyx eyes hard. It would have hurt less if he'd punched me, and the unexpected pain knocked the wind out of me.
Tears stung in my eyes and I looked forward, my chest aching. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. In my periphery, he looked pained. I turned to look out the window, not wanting him to see me cry. Damn it. I thought angrily. I let myself care too much.
We were leaving the city now, and my chest felt heavy. I couldn't stop the tears from spilling over. He was bored of me? I should of known. I held back a sob. He only cared because I was interesting.
I wiped the tears away furiously, refusing to make a sound. Luckily, my make up was smudge and water proof. Dammit. I grimaced, hugging my knees to my chest. What's wrong with me? Why does it hurt this bad?
I spent the rest of the ride, trying to pull myself together. I won't let him see me cry. I thought stubbornly. I won't let him see how much he hurt me. Maybe he was just another New Society robot, after all.
By the time we pulled into the mansion's drive, I'd composed my expression into an emotionless mask. I got out the moment the car came to a stop, avoiding Noah's eyes as he came around the car to walk beside me.
"Are you upset?" he asked, grabbing my arm and turning me to face him. I glared up at him as the snow fluttered down, catching in my eyelashes.
"Why would I be upset?" I said coldly, pulling my arm away from him and turning away.
"I'm sorry," he said before I could walk away. "I had to, but I didn't want to hurt you."
I hugged myself and walked to the door, letting myself in. I lost myself in the crowd, wanting to be alone. Luckily, I found a vacant bathroom and fell to the floor, trying hard not to cry.
I locked the door and leaned against it as the tears began to flow. My chest hurt badly, but I didn't understand it. Dammit. You have to stop caring about him, Nevaeh. I gritted my teeth, wiping the tears away fiercely.
My bracelet was buzzing, but I ignored it, needing to clear my head. He never cared. You knew he wouldn't from the beginning. Why are you letting it hurt so badly? I demanded of myself.
By the time I'd calmed down, I'd been in the bathroom for two hours. I'd decided not to talk to anyone about this, but wished I could. I pulled myself to my feet, calming my features into a bubbly mask. No one can know.
I left the bathroom, weaving through the crowd. I greeted a few people as I searched for my friends. It was a cocktail party, and soft music was playing over a large dance floor. People were chatting, and waltzing, trying all of the extravagant appetizers and fancy cocktails that lined the various tables around the expansive room.
My friends were near the dance floor, chatting with Zen. The picture wasn't complete, somehow, without Noah or Ari in it. I joined them quickly, grinning widely to hide the pain weighting down my chest.
"Hey, cutie," Zen winked at me and smirked. This had become his regular greeting to me, and I was starting to get used to it.
"Hey guys," I said cheerfully.
"Where have you been?" Finch asked curiously.
"Looking for you guys," I said evasively, taking a cocktail from a passing caterer's tray. I sipped it, enjoying the fruity flavor.
"Mr. Wickenburgh hosted a rather large party, don't you think?" Zen asked Nora. It all clicked. Wickenburgh. The second right hand of the President, herself.
I glanced around wearily, half expecting Mr. Wickenburgh to sneak up on me. Again, I didn't see the President anywhere. Maybe she's in a VIP room? I thought vaguely.
"There's lots of pretty dresses," Lizzy said longingly, bringing my scattered attention back to the group. My mind was racing, and Finch was watching me curiously. I brushed a strand of golden hair behind my ear as I tried to figure out what I'd missed.
"Pretty dresses, beautiful people," Zen waved his hand carelessly. "It's only skin deep. Most of them are rotten inside, hungry for power and status."
"Well, damn," Nora coughed. "That's one way to shift the mood."
"Sorry," Zen grinned. "On the upper hand, you ladies are extravagant."
"Thanks," Nora laughed and Lizzy giggled. Zen lit up a joint, taking a deep hit before passing it to Nora.
"More drugs?" Finch laughed. "It seems like you light one every half hour."
"Just about," Zen shrugged as Nora passed the joint to Lizzy.
I finished my drink, taking another as a caterer walked by. This one was creamy, though I couldn't place the other flavor. Finch passed me the joint and I took a deep hit, feeling my body fill with clouds of smoke.
The release was instant, soothing me.
The party was slow, seeming to last for ages as my friends and I talked. Zen, Lizzy and Nora eventually broke off to dance, and I sat with Finch on the floor.
"What's been bothering you all night?" he asked as he leaned back against the wall.
"You noticed?" I asked him. Damn. I didn't hide it well enough.
"We all noticed, Nev," he laughed. "You're not a very good actress."
"Damn," I bit my lip, watching the party.
"Talk to me," he scooted closer, wrapping his arm over my shoulders in a loose hug. I leaned against him with a sigh.
"That's okay," I said. "I'll be fine."
"Come on, Tiny. You're killing me," he nudged my arm lightly as I fidgeted with my skirt.
"Okay," I bit my lip, trying to be subtle with my explanation. I didn't say any names, but I think he somehow knew who I was talking about.
"It sounds to me like you're in love," he teased, though it was half-hearted.
"It's not like that," I shook my head.
"Isn't it?" he smiled down to me.
"Regardless," I was blushing crimson. "It doesn't matter anyway. I can never have him."
"Sometimes that's how it works," he shrugged, sitting up straight. I leaned against the wall again, feeling confused. Am I in love with Noah? I wondered. No. I decided instantly. He's more like a friend. There was no way I'd fallen for him. Right?
I shook my head slowly as someone called for everyone to gather around the dance floor. Finch and I got to our feet, filing into the crowd. We were pushed forward, somehow ending up at the front, two rows back. We stood far to the right of where a microphone was being set up.
People were chatting loudly, wondering what was going on. I could feel Finch's arm pressed against mine as the crowd thickened. I could just barely see Mr. Wickenburgh climbing onto the knee-high platform over someone's shoulder. It looked like Angelina was with him, and a third person, but my sight was cut off by the movement of the crowd.
"I wonder what's going on," Finch said, watching the stage. He was much taller than me, and I realized he could probably see better.
"Who's up there?" I asked curiously standing on my toes to try to get a better look. I had no such luck.
"It's Mr. Wickenburgh, Ms. Gray, and Mr. Ivanov. They're talking about something. It looks like Mr. Wickenburgh is pleased. Ms. Gray is extatic, and Mr. Ivanov seems totally emotionless," he described the scene. What is Noah doing up there? I wondered. "Mr. Wickenburgh is stepping towards the microphone ."
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," the familiar, cold voice leaked into the mic, sending chills of icy fear down my spine. I pressed forward until I was at the front of the crowd. My eyes locked first on Mr. Wickenburgh, and then Noah, who was speaking quietly with Angelina.
"I'd like to start by thanking you all for coming tonight," Mr. Wickenburgh held a champaign glass in his hand, licking his lips before opening his mouth to say more. "Tonight, we drink, and tomorrow we will feast with a most generous host. Our president wished for me to express her condolences that she has been unable to attend the majority of our parties, but she hopes you all understand that she is doing her best to improve the New Society.
"Now, with the speech out of the way, I have some exciting news," Mr. Wickenburgh's white eyes scanned the crowd until they found me, and he smiled crookedly while he said his next words.
"Young Mr. Ivanov has requested my Niece's hand in marriage. With her parents dearly departed, I took the honor of giving him my consent to wed her. To new relationships, and perfection," he rose his champagne glass in a toast, and many others followed suit as he looked away from me.
It felt like a hole had been punched through my chest. The world was spinning, and I felt sick to my stomach as I found Noah's eyes. He looked resigned and sad, watching me. My knees went weak, and I fell backwards into the crowd.
Someone caught me, but I didn't turn to see them as they supported me. I pulled away, stumbling through the crowd. Why? I could think only this one worded question.
I made my way to the front door, wandering blankly through the mansion's lavish garden. Snow was falling softly, melting upon contact with my skin. I'd detached from my feelings, and it was like I was in a dazed dream, watching as the snow clung to the rose bushes and stone benches.
It was impossible to ignore the hollow feeling in my chest, or the ache of my heart. It was numbed, and I was certain it would be worse when my detachment faded. For now, I was emotionally in shock.
Why didn't he tell me? I wondered. Why did I have to find out like this? Why is he doing this? Does he truly want to marry her, or is this being pushed on him? Thoughts were swirling in my head, and it was hard to breathe.
There's no reason to stay. I looked up at the sky, watching the snow fall. Plan's back on. I'm leaving for the outside. I closed my eyes, spreading my arms out like wings. I'm gonna see the world. I'm going to be free. I opened my eyes again as I continued to walk, letting my arms fall. I'm going to find the rebellion, like my father wanted. And for my family, I'll help the bring the New Society down.
I trailed my hands along the snowy rose bushes, careful to avoid the thorns. The red things must have been genetically enhanced, for they still bloomed as it snowed, flakes clinging to their soft petals.
Like blood in a snowstorm. I thought vaguely as I examined one. I didn't feel cold, though the temperature had dropped since our arrival here. The society is not as innocent as they play. They need to fall. For humanities sake, this can't be how we live. We're not livestock. All we are to them is a science experiment.
I plucked the rose from its stem, carrying it with me as I continued through the gardens. Everywhere I looked, there were marble statues of classic botticelli angels. Vines and debri clung to them, but it looked intentional. It reminds me of a graveyard.
My recent scans through the library at home showed me that the New Society only told us certain parts of history. It's the parts your hiding that the people deserve to know. Most of the information was unnecessary, and boring. What was life like before you tried to destroy it?
I could feel flakes of snow clinging to my hair as I peeled a petal slowly from a rose. It's beautiful. It looks harmless. So why do I want to destroy it? I wondered, my heels clicking on the stone walkway.
I peeled another petal, crumpling and tearing it in my palm. The rose's soft scent filled me as I peeled the third petal. It made me feel sick and dizzy. What is it about these stupid things? I thought as I peeled more petals, counting them as I dropped them to the ground.
They're too perfect. I realized, recoiling as the last petal fell. I tossed the stem to the ground, but a thorn caught my finger on the was down. I examined the drop of blood as it trailed down my finger, dripping once into a fresh patch of snow.
I could still smell the rose as I wiped my finger off with the under layer of my skirt. I tried to wipe the smell off on my dress, too, but the rose seemed to follow me, reminding me that the New Society would always be watching us.
I don't know how long I was outside. I'd stopped at a small frozen pond, examining the icy surface. Something was placed over me, drawing my attention. I looked up in confusion to see Noah.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked softly, his dark eyes guarded. He'd placed his jacket around me, and I felt weighed down. He reached down to pull me up by the arm. I hadn't even noticed when I'd sat down.
"Noah," I said slowly, my senses beginning to awaken. He pulled me by the elbow back through the garden. I could see the petals strewn around and my footprints in the patches of snow sticking to the ground.
A valet pulled the car up to the front door, and Noah helped me into the passenger seat. I stared out the window numbly as he walked around and entered the car. As we pulled away from the mansion, a single tear spilled from my eye and down the cheek I had pressed up to the car window.
As the drive passed, my chest began to ache more and more. The car was silent, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep my body from breaking. I suppressed the emotion, trying to hate him. How can I hate someone I care about?
I didn't have any other choice. If I was going to escape, I had to stop caring about the people I was leaving behind. I have to let go of them all. To care is to lose, and I'm never going to leave if I have something, or someone to lose. I chewed my lip, tasting blood in my mouth.
I have to learn how to hate the ones I care about the most. I can't keep loving anymore if I'm going to survive out there. I have to hate them, and I have to start by learning to hate Noah.