Chapter 17: Chapter 17

IRIS

The king asked us to go back with him to Antaris. He mentioned that it would be better for Avery to be examined by his royal healer again.

But deep down, I knew he was doing it for me. I could still feel the eyes on me, though Aidan had already dismissed all the soldiers.

Even the gazes that burned on me through the windows of their rooms. And obviously King Elior saw it too, and he realized how uncomfortable I felt.

My shoulders slumped with every new pair of eyes that I felt on me. I felt so small, and totally useless.

Someone who couldn’t even control her own powers. I didn’t even know I had any, and now I wondered what this red aura and crimson mist were all about.

I doubted anyone here had killed their soul mate with their powers. And I had almost done it to Avery.

It seemed so completely different from what I had seen in the others.

None of these powers were like mine; they didn’t move the same…

Avery agreed with his father when he suggested we go home to talk things over in peace.

Although I actually wanted to train with Aidan and Inna for a few days to discover my powers, they both seemed overwhelmed by it. Aidan said he had never seen anyone with such powers before, so he didn’t even know how to teach me to control them.

I realized it must be hard for him too. He wanted to help me…but he couldn’t.

And while I was deep in thought on our way home, everyone else was silent.

When we arrived, Jade was waiting for us. She must have read my thoughts when she saw me.

Despite the fact that it would probably be better to talk to the king alone, I still asked him to let us all hear what he had to say. I had no secrets from them; obviously, they knew a lot more about me than I did.

So the king granted my request, and I was accompanied not only by Ava and Avery, but also by Jade and Noah.

We all sat in the living area of the big mansion and waited for the king to tell us what was going on.

He seemed like he didn’t know where to begin. He opened his mouth a few times only to close it again. His eyebrows were drawn together, his face clearly tense.

He seemed to be looking for the right words.

“Iris…I hoped we had a few days for you to settle in and gain your memories. To remember everything…” the king began to talk.

He looked nervous and kept glancing from me to Avery.

Avery’s hand on my shoulder was like a relief to me. I had hurt him so badly, but he didn’t hold it against me.

Quite the opposite, he comforted me the whole time. Always by my side.

Avery hugged me to show he was there for me, and his presence seemed to make everything more bearable.

“Your powers…are…well…surely you’ve noticed that no one here has a red aura around them?” he asked with sympathy.

I thought about it for a moment and had to realize that I actually didn’t see a red aura. I had seen purple, green, and yellow, and recently blue from Inna.

The white aura from Keijou and orange from Mana. And other colors too, but not red.

What was wrong with the red aura that nobody had it except me? Was it something bad?

What if I got banned from Antaris because of this?

I just nodded and furrowed my eyebrows.

What was he trying to tell me? What was wrong with my powers?

“Well, that’s because your powers are different from all of ours here,” King Elior said.

“What do you mean?” I asked worriedly.

“When you were little, you harnessed your powers before you learned to walk…or talk. The powers you have are unique and very powerful. And they aren’t powers that are known to us…at least to the kind beings,” he explained further.

“What… What do you mean by that? Am I evil?” I asked angrily.

“No, Iris, you are not evil. Otherwise you could not come through the portal to Antaris,” the king answered in a calm voice.

Antaris only consisted of good beings, so evil beings were never allowed to enter.

If I wasn’t evil…what was I?

“When you got your powers back…you certainly got memories of people and places that you couldn’t allocate anywhere… You remembered, but you still don’t know everything…do you?” the king asked.

And as I thought about the event when I said that spell and the red mist surrounded me, I actually had memories that meant nothing to me.

Images burned themselves into my brain at the time, voices that spoke and whispered, and faces that I couldn’t connect with anything. But it was all somehow familiar to me.

“Now…my dear child, I have to explain to you why…” the king said as he sat down next to me.

He took a deep breath before he looked at me.

“After you were born, we all quickly realized that your powers are demonic. And that’s no wonder, because your father was one. However, we didn’t know what your powers could do and what powers you possessed,” the king added, looking at me reassuringly.

I looked at Avery, almost shocked by what I heard. I was a demon?

“After you used your powers a few times as a kid, we were attacked by the princes of darkness, several times. Your father immediately understood that you were the reason for the attacks. Obviously, they also knew your powers were different, so they tried to attack and take you to their side,” he continued.

The king’s voice was soft as he spoke. His every word sounded more like an apology than an explanation.

“In order to protect you from their attacks, your father decided on a drastic tactic. He taught you to combust your powers, and this brought us a few years of rest…”

“But your powers became stronger when you found your amicus.

And the outburst of your full strength was visible only then,” he said, still looking at me.

My gaze met his.

“My amicus? I have an amicus? Where is it?” I asked, surprised.

King Elior placed his hands on his lap, his gaze falling on them before he looked at me again.

“Yes…you found him, and your combined powers shook both worlds. That’s why the dark princes went into battle to find you…and your parents knew they could only protect you when you were far away from everything…and no one knows who you are…even yourself,” said the worried king.

I opened my mouth a couple of times, unable to say anything.

So my parents decided that my memory should be erased. It was their wish that I forget all of this…to protect me.

“The dark princes captured your amicus. And he’s been the source of their powers ever since,” Avery said.

What… What was that supposed to mean?

“I…am I…” I started to ask, but my voice broke as the words stuck in my throat like shards of glass.

Am... am I the cause? Have I... Did I cause the death of my parents?

What about all the others... all the good creatures who fought for Antaris... is that MY fault? A hot stream of tears burned down my face, so hard as if it could wash the pain away.

But it remained. It ate its way deeper.

How was I going to live with this? How was I ever going to breathe again if I...

Avery tugged at me, his grip so tight it was like he could hold the fragments of my soul together. But even his warmth wasn’t getting through.

“Tell me it isn’t true…” I whispered desperately. “Tell me it’s just my imagination… please…”

“You are not the reason your parents died,” Jade said as she read my thoughts.

She knelt in front of me to catch my gaze. But I could barely see her because of the tears blurring my vision.

I bowed my head and cried into my hands, confused and sad.

“My dear child… you are not the cause of your parents’ deaths… if anyone is to blame, it’s us… me and your parents. We didn’t know how to protect you, so obviously it was the wrong decision. But we realized that too late,” the king said sadly, stroking my head.

Why were my memories taken from me? Did… my parents really think I would turn to the darkness?

A suffocating feeling spread across my chest. Were they scared of me? Did they think I might destroy Antaris? That I’d hurt the people here?

The thought choked my throat. Why all the lies? My entire life… One big deception.

Why was I not allowed to remember my home? My brother… The strength inside me?

Suddenly Jade grabbed my hand, her fingers closed tightly around mine as if to stop me from drowning in this maelstrom of despair. With gentle but firm pressure, she lifted my face up until our eyes met.

There was pain in her eyes, so deep that it made me shiver.

“Iris…” she whispered, her voice soft, yet unyielding. “You were so loved. Everything your parents wanted was to protect you. They were afraid the dark princes would find you… they would weaponize you. That you would end up in their clutches, forced to do their will.”

Her thumbs brushed over my damp cheeks.

“Never… Never did they doubt you. Never once did they question your soul. They loved you. And we do too,” she whispered in a shaky voice.

Her words penetrated through the fog of my agony, but the emptiness inside me remained. I swallowed hard, my heart a single whirlwind of pain and confusion.

But then I saw Avery’s gaze… so full of devotion, so full of unspoken words. There was no fear in his eyes of what I was—just concern for what I was suffering.

“The Reapers are obviously after me for my gift, and they’ve been looking for me for so long. Now that they’ve found me, they’ll attack us again. And I don’t even know how to defend myself… or you! I don’t want to be the cause of death anymore,” I said, crying.

The king looked into my eyes and smiled sympathetically at me.

“And you doubt whether you are a good being… Your first thoughts are to protect us,” he said quietly.

I dared to look at him. A gentle smile spread on his lips.

“They know you’re here and they’ll be looking for an entrance. But until then, we’ll work to reacquaint you with your powers. Teach and strengthen you and prepare you for battle. Your parents wanted to protect you by hiding… but now it’s different. And they would want you to be strong,” the king said hopefully.

But my father was dead… who was going to teach me?