{1.14 | Let's Just Finish the Dance | part one}
Guilt.
Guilt was something that Elara had felt for months. It ate away at her conscience piece by piece. It swallowed her, wrapped around her like water as she sank into it deeper and deeper. A lot of things were her fault, and even if others didn't blame her, she blamed herself. She blamed herself for never finding a good home; she blamed herself for Felix's death.
So, when--for once--something bad happening wasn't her fault, she felt a little vindicated.
Just a little bit.
It was terrible of her to feel relieved that Landon's death wasn't her fault, she knew that, but she couldn't help it. She really, really liked proving people wrong.
For the fourth time that week, Elara had been called into the headmaster's office. As early in the morning as it was, her patience hadn't yet appeared, and she wasn't in the mood for another lecture.
But, to her surprise, Emma was waiting for her instead of Alaric. She was sitting in one of the chairs usually in front of Alaric's desk, but it had been moved to face the couch.
"Brilliant, you're here," Emma said. She gestured towards the couch. "Please, have a seat."
"Let me guess, Impromptu session?" Elara questioned.
"Sort of. Dr. Saltzman thought it would be best if we were to have a conversation about last week's events." Emma's gaze remained on Elara, focusing on the teenager. "Considering what happened, I agreed."
Elara huffed, dropping onto the couch. "If this gets Dr. Saltzman off my case, then fine. Have at it."
"Why did you leave campus?"
"To get answers," she said plainly.
Emma paused, jotting something down on her clipboard. "Answers that you couldn't find on campus, I presume."
"A dumb presumption."
"Please, Elara," Emma sighed. "There is no need to be cross."
A scoff left Elara's lips. "Oh, I have plenty of reasons to be cross. Emma, I have been here for months, and for the majority of them, I thought that I was a normal werewolf with a lot of issues. Instead, I'm actually something different with the same issues and maybe even more. You can't blame a girl for wanting to--I don't know--figure out what the hell she is?"
"No, I can't," Emma agreed. "But the manner in which you searched, the timing of it, was incredibly dangerous. Not only to yourself but to others of this institution."
"Believe me, I've already heard enough about how 'reckless' and 'careless' my actions were."
"And you still pursue, knowing that there would be consequences. Why?"
"What consequences? I didn't kill anyone. I didn't hurt anyone."
"You could've," Emma said. "You certainly could've--"
"But I didn't," Elara interrupted. "God, all you and Dr. Saltzman have been pushing into my head since the moment that I've gotten here is that I 'could' hurt someone or 'will' do it eventually, but I haven't. The only people I've actually attacked were the ones who hit me first, the ones who hurt me first.
"Yet I'm here, being interrogated yet again like a criminal all because I didn't listen. I didn't hurt anyone, Emma. I just left the campus for a couple of hours, and that wasn't what got Landon killed." Elara felt her heartbeat rising, pushing and pushing itself against her chest as if to escape. "And instead of helping him through that pain, you and Dr. Saltzman have decided to focus your efforts on the vampire that killed him, the werewolf that watched it happen, and... me, who just happened to be there because I have the best luck in the world."
Emma fell silent, blinking.
Once. Twice.
Her throat bobbed, and she dropped her gaze to the ground.
Elara continued, rising to her feet, "y'all aren't helping the students, no. You're pushing them into these little boxes that Dr. Saltzman can control. Vampires aren't given human blood, wolves are restrained in cells, and witches are taught surface-level defense spells, but it's what the humans would want, isn't it? Weakened supernaturals?"
Everyone had a tell, Elara learned. It was a habit someone did whenever they lied, and it was something one could figure out with observation. She'd figured out Josie's in a week, she learned Hope's only a week ago, and she figured out Emma's.
"No," Emma said flatly. "The Salvatore School is intended to help supernatural children--"
"What about Landon? We didn't even know what he was until he died. Hell, what about me? Do I have to die, too? I had to find answers elsewhere despite them being here, right under my nose. Someone else had to tell me about Cedric's journal, which happens to be somewhere in this office."
Emma stiffened at that, the movement subtle but evident of the truth.
Elara's eyes narrowed. She'd successfully managed to flip the interrogation in her favor, and now it was her turn to ask the questions.
"Tell me, Emma, when were you going to tell me what a Hellhound was?"
~-~-~
"What did you find out?"
From the corner of her eye, Elara saw Landon leaned around Hope, his hands placed on his chair to help him balance. His quiet question jolted her from her thoughts, pulling her from the depths of her mind.
Shaking her head, she spoke in a hushed voice "Nothing new."
Alaric had called yet another assembly. This time, however, it wasn't for a monster on the loose but instead for a human problem: the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant.
Elara had heard about it before. When she and Josie were still friends, the two would sometimes listen to Lizzie talking about whatever it was that was troubling her or that she was looking forward to, and the competition was one of those things.
Apparently, their mother, Caroline, had won it years before, and Lizzie had spent hours upon hours researching it-- even trying to get Elara's help. (She said no faster than Lizzie could get the question out.)
Elara leaned back in her chair, pushing up the sleeves of her grey, Salvatore sweater, and sent a brief glance towards the twins, who were seated towards the front. If things had been different, if Josie hadn't betrayed her, maybe, just maybe, she would've been willing to push Josie towards the crown.
"I thought you mentioned that you had a name for yourself, now?" Landon questioned again.
After her "meeting" with Emma, she'd gone straight to her dorm, bumping into Landon on the way. He had been meaning to check on his... girlfriend, and, in her frustration, Elara had let it slip that her research of what the Hellhound was had come up with nothing. For that moment, she forgot about what she'd done, what she'd said to Hope hours before he died. For that moment, they were research buddies again.
"Yeah," Elara responded, "but Emma didn't budge. She clammed up when I confronted her, again. Now shut up and pay attention."
Shifting in her seat, her arm brushed against Hope's, and the tri-brid shot her a look with a brow slightly raised. She noticed the target of Elara's gaze and nudged her back as if to ask a silent question.
Elara knew the look. Hope was concerned, and she had every right to be. A week ago, Elara had disappeared for hours and shifted in the woods, potentially walking into danger. She could've hurt someone or herself. When Hope saw Rafael with Elara's jacket, she thought the worst had happened.
She could still remember the strength of Hope's grip on her when she stumbled onto Landon's resurrection, the firmness of her arms around her as if Hope was scared she was going to disappear again.
Leaving before the full moon was not her best idea, but the outcome-- at least for her-- was better than she thought it was going to be.
Bonnie Bennett was, in fact, a badass. Elara learned that the witch had done so many things to save the town and her friends, and it was almost inspiring. Bonnie told her about her relationship with Cedric. They had been very close friends, even briefly dating, but they decided they were better off as friends in the end. She'd confided in him, he'd confided in her, yet there were things he didn't tell anyone.
Until he came back from the dead.
There was still a lot of Cedric's stories for Bonnie to tell, but they'd run out of time before she could. So, in order to expedite Elara's learning and potentially help her gain control of her abilities, she mentioned that Cedric had kept a journal during his stay in Mystic Falls. It was somewhere in the school, and all Elara had to do was find it, which was a lot easier said than done.
Towards the end of the assembly, Lizzie took over for Alaric. The twin instructed that the students would divide into chore teams, placing herself in charge of not just a team but the entire organization. Elara didn't mind it, truthfully. If there was one thing Lizzie knew how to do, it was plan for a party.
Lizzie divided everyone into teams, distributing the factions throughout the school, and Elara ended up on Hope's team. The two were sent off towards the other side of the school and made to hide a bunch of animals. Elara wasn't entirely sure why they had so many of them, but she moved them, nonetheless.
Elara stopped in front of a glass case. The chores were going well since the students worked in a seamless harmony, and time was moving quicker than she'd expected.
The snake inside curled in on itself under rock as if to hide. Its scales were black, and it had a red colored ring around its neck. Elara tilted her head to the side, watching as it flicked its tongue at her.
"Making a new friend there?" Hope asked as she stopped next to Elara, clipboard in hand.
Elara shrugged. "Maybe. It seems like recently I've been surrounded by snakes."
Hope nodded as if she understood who Elara was alluding to. When Elara wasn't being interrogated by Dr. Saltzman or Emma, she spent nearly every moment with Hope, and neither of them were complaining about that. Although things between Hope and Landon had grown tense, it was hard to tell if that fact was bothering the older girl at all.
Elara glanced at Hope and grinned crookedly. "Plus, she's kind of cute."
Hope lifted a brow. "She?"
Elara gestured towards the case, and the two leaned down. "Look at the tail. Since hers is pretty short and thin I'm like eighty to eighty-five percent sure it's a girl." The snake slowly uncurled itself and stuck its head outside of the hiding spot.
Hope tucked her clipboard against her chest, standing up straight. "Huh, I didn't take you for a snake expert."
"Definitely not an expert," Elara quipped. "One of the homes I stayed at was on a farm in the middle of the woods," she explained as she rose to Hope's level (well, above it.) "Snakes liked to hide in the run-down barn on their property, so I had to learn which ones were dangerous, which then turned into learning a few more things about them."
"Even little Elara liked to explore."
Elara's gaze softened as she looked at her roommate. There were aspects of her life, pieces of her past, that she hadn't yet mentioned, but it wasn't because she didn't trust Hope. She absolutely trusted Hope. It was because it still hurt to talk about.
"Something like that."
A small smile pushed itself onto Hope's lips, and Elara couldn't help but glance at the movement. Her feelings for Hope should've been pushed away. They should've been smothered and buried the moment Hope and Landon became a thing, and Elara knew that. Hope and Landon were still together. It didn't matter that Hope didn't feel that way towards him and that she was going to break up with him during the day, Elara still felt conflicted.
Her whole life she'd been selfish, her whole life she'd simply taken what she wanted...
So why was it so hard to do it now?
Elara watched as Hope's eyes mirrored hers. She opened her mouth to speak, but the sound of footsteps interrupted them. A pang hit her chest as the familiar, cold grasp of guilt found its way back, and the feeling hit harder as Landon came from around the corner, two cages in hand.
"Hey, Hope," he called softly. The roommates stepped away from each other as if they'd been caught doing something wrong (and it was, technically). "You have any idea where these guys go?"
Hope cleared her throat before answering, "yeah, anywhere but with the birds. The ravens and the finches are fine, but the rats drive the owls crazy."
"Gotcha," Landon responded, setting the mice down on one of the tables. "So, I've been thinking about why you've been acting so weird."
Elara swallowed, turning to look at a suddenly interesting toad. (It wasn't actually very interesting.)
Hope tensed. "Suddenly everyone's got a psychology degree around here," she mumbled.
"No." Landon shook his head. "I just, I just think you have cold feet."
A second of silence passed before Elara heard Hope respond, "about what?"
Oh, they all knew what about. Landon didn't need to answer the question, but he did.
Elara whistled softly, acting as if the toad was the most fascinating thing in the world. She didn't want to hear the conversation, but her super hearing decided that she had to. For once, she hated having supernatural powers.
"You know," she heard Landon say, "we're good. We're finally in a solid relationship based on honesty and openness."
Hearing Hope inhale sharply, Elara decided it was time to leave. Landon couldn't have been farther from the truth, and Elara felt like her presence would not help Hope deal with the inevitability of the direction of the conversation.
"I'm indestructible. You're relatively indestructible. We finally have a long, clear road ahead of us, you know, with no obstacles--"
A grunt sounded from behind Landon, and the two turned to see Elara standing on the stairs, a hand hovering over her side.
Her face wore a brief grimace as a soft hiss left her lips. "Sorry, I wasn't, uh, paying attention and walked into the-- why are you looking at me like that?" Hope's eyes had widened, her eyes focused on something past Elara, and Landon simply looked confused. Slowly, Elara turned her head and followed Hope's gaze.
A teenage boy with curly blond hair and a bomber jacket stood at the entrance of the library. His eyes were dark, and a familiar ring sat on his hand.
Elara herself had no problems with vampires, but the Hellhound seemed to act like any other werewolf. There were times she had to fight against her own instincts as the beast inside attempted to lash out. The vampire lifted a hand in a brief wave before Elara turned back towards the "couple."
Landon asked the question she'd been thinking. "Who is that?"
Hope gritted her teeth, her eyes remaining on Elara. "That is Roman."
Roman. The name was familiar. She was certain that she'd heard Hope mention him before...
"My ex-boyfriend."
It finally clicked. Elara remembered where she'd heard the name. Late at night, sitting on the roof of the Mill with Hope, and talking about the deaths of their parents.
Roman Sienna, the vampire who'd played a part in the death of Hope's mother, was back at the Salvatore School. He walked over to the stairs, wearing a gentle expression on his face. It was clear he sensed the tense atmosphere as his eyes flickered between Landon, Hope, who moved over to the bottom of the stairs, and the blonde werewolf with a pained expression on her face.
"What are you doing here?" Hope asked curiously. There was no malice in her voice, much to Landon's surprise. Elara noticed the scrunch of his brows as he crossed his arms across his chest.
Roman shoved his hands into his pockets. "Dr. Saltzman's been a little overwhelmed so, uh, I've been doing a little...recruiting recon for him lately." He glanced uneasily at Elara. "But he asked me to come in today and lend a hand."
Hope nodded, and Roman smiled slightly. Elara felt a tightening in her chest, a brow lifted, and her head tilted ever so slightly on its own volition. She'd heard plenty of things about Roman. Roman had been a student at the same time as Hope, but he was actually a ninety-year-old vampire. His mother was an actual Nazi, and he had been convinced that Hayley being a hybrid was against the very rules of nature. He'd been tricked and lied to his entire life. He was a victim.
And Elara still kind of wanted to punch him because of the way he looked at Hope.
The tri-brid must have noticed Elara's shiftiness and gestured a hand towards her. "Roman, this is Elara. My roommate and... friend." Roman's brows furrowed slightly, but he didn't get the chance to question Hope's hesitation as she pointed at Landon with her head. "That is Landon-"
"Her boyfriend," Landon chimed in. He stepped towards the three, using his crossed arms to push his chest upwards. "And a Phoenix, by the way, which is so cool."
Elara bit her cheek to stop herself from laughing at Landon's attempt at intimidation.
"So, what are you?" Roman asked Elara, turning to look at her. Now that she'd taken a closer look at him and seen his features, she couldn't help but notice that Hope had a type. Taller, damaged, depressed...
Elara wasn't sure if she should be offended or not.
"Complicated," she answered. "A little hungry, and an extremely short-tempered werewolf."
Roman's lips parted as he nodded. Her tone had been... threatening? It was hard to tell. "Right, right. Well, I should probably go find Dr. Saltzman."
They watched as Roman walked away and out of the library, and Hope let out a small sigh. Elara knew that Hope was stressed, it was impossible for her not to be, especially when her ex suddenly showed up.
Elara watched as Landon turned towards Hope, a concerned and jealous look on his face, and she shook her head.
Maybe dealing with a supernatural threat instead of a human one would've been better after all.