Sleeping through the entire night, seemed close to impossible. My mind was racing. I had came so close to breaking my promise with Sloan. So close to reenacting the crazy daydream that had felt so surreal. My mind racing with possible scenarios. What would've happened had Sloan not decided to walk her boyfriend out when she did.
Would we have kissed? Or would she have backed away, shaming herself for making herself vulnerable to me? And what would've happened had Sloan actually walked in on us? Would I have lost my best friend? That's the scariest part of this whole thing. The thought of losing my best friend, would destroy me. But so would the thought of hurting Skye.
I was conflicted about this entire thing. Do I tell Sloan? Ask her what she thinks? I know she made me promise, but would she ever think of the possibility of me and her sister actually being together?
Wait, hold on a second. What am I saying? I've dated nothing but guys my entire life. This might just be mere infatuation or something. No. No, no. This is real. I have feelings for Skye. There's no doubt about it. I'm not afraid to admit it. I mean, love is love, right? Sexuality is a spectrum, so I shouldn't be surprised I find myself having these feelings. But once again, I find myself conflicted. I can come to terms with my feelings for Skye's. But there's no way in hell I could come to terms with loosing my best friend over it.
Closing my eyes, I let myself fall into a restless sleep.
*******
Rolling over, I wanted to slap Sloan. She was sprawled out over the entire bed, with her arm draped over my  chest. Normally I would be okay with this, but since I was half awake all night, I was pretty grumpy.
Shoving her arm off, I reluctantly got out of bed. I really just wanted to stay in bed and sleep, but today was the day my dad came back to visit. I had to get myself mentally prepared. I've talked to him over the phone, but today is the first day that I will actually talk face to face with him.
So, saying that I was nervous seemed to be a huge understatement. I know I shouldn't be as nervous as I am, considering he is my dad, but I guess I am. I felt partially to blame for what had happened between him and my mother. Though I don't know many specifics, I was sure that had I have been home, I would've been able to do something about it. I don't know, maybe I would've been able to stop my mother from going ape shit.
"Today's the day, huh?" Sloan asked sleepily from bed. I nodded, looking into the mirror as I began brushing out my messy morning hair. My hand was shaking lightly when I went to apply my makeup. "Here, let me do that before you poke out an eye or something." Taking the makeup brush from me, she dabbed on a light layer of makeup. "Where's he taking you?"
"Out to a diner, on the edge of town."
"The country one, where all the crazy rednecks go?"
"I suppose....." Laughing, I pulled on a white shirt, with some jeans. Slipping into my  vans. I was surprised that Sloan knew where we were going. She doesn't really go out to places like that much. I guess I have her new boyfriend to thank for that.
"Your dad comes in for one day a week, and takes you out to a small diner like that? The food is great, and the booths are close together. So y'all will have a chance to actually talk."
"I know, I'm just nervous I guess."
"Why?"
"I feel like I should have been there to help. Maybe I would have been able to actually do something to help him." I said honestly. Sloan looked to me, sympathy filling her eyes. Walking up to me, she tousled with my hair.
"I know you feel like this is your fault, but believe me when I say it's not. He's ok. He's alive. Your mother is in jail. Pending her trial or whatever. You're breathing, he's breathing, your mother is probably breathing. All of you got out of this alive. And your mother is being punished for it. So don't stress thinking you could've done something. Had you of been there, I'm sure you would've been hurt as well." With one final flick of my hair, she plopped back down in bed.
"Thanks. I needed that." Waking out of the room, I wadded down the stairs. I wanted to get something in my system before getting everything out of my system with my dad. I planned on asking him what actually happened, and hopefully I would get a straight answer.
Turning to the fridge, I grabbed the orange juice. Yelping as I turned around.
"Well, morning." Skye said, smiling as she sat beside her mother at the dining room table.
"Good morning dear." Her mother greeted, pouring herself a cup of coffe, she kissed Skye's forehead, hugging me lightly before walking out the front door. Work on Saturdays is the worst.m
"Sleep well?" Glancing at her, I just shrugged, stealing bacon off her plate. "There's more on the plate on the counter." Skye grunted, pulling her plate closer to herself.
"I know."
"Then why are you stealing mine?"
"Because, you're closer." Laughing, she just rolled her eyes. Slapping my hand away each time I tried stealing more.
Hearing a knock at the door, I stood, and brushed the imaginary dirt off my clothes. Opening the door, my dad stood in front of men a small teddy in his hands. Well, it wasn't a teddy bear, it was more of a unicorn. Go figures right?
"Hey pumpkin." He greeted, pulling me into a tight hug. I melted instantly into his hug. His hugs were always the best. They made me feel as if nothing could ever go wrong.
"Hey dad."
"You ready to go?"
"Sure." Tucking my phone into my pocket, I walked out with him to his car. We chatted a bit on the way to the diner. We talked about how school was going for me. How it was for him living with his brother. About his new job. He was working as a sales associate for some big country. It paid a lot more than at his old job. I was happy he was doing well.
Once we finally arrived at the diner, we sat at the booth closet to the back. Ordering the usual, my dad got an all American burger. While I, being somewhat classy, settled for the daily special of Steak and mozzerella sticks. I don't understand exactly why they would have a special like this, but whatever works I guess.
"So, how's Sloan doing?" My dad asked, stuffing his mouth with a big bite of his burger. Ketchup flopping down onto his plate.
"She's doing good, she's got a boyfriend now." He just grinned at me, shoving some fries into his mouth. Laughing at my horrified expression. This was the part about my dad I didn't miss as much. He found joy in disgusting me by stuffing his mouth full of food.
"Sloan?" He mumbled, finally being able to swallow the food that was in his mouth. "A boyfriend? Are you sure?"
"Yes, dad, she's not so bad." I joked.
"Oh no, of course not, just a little bit on the promiscuous side. You know, believe it or not, I used to be quite the whore myself."
"Dad!" Shaking my head, I just stuffed my mouth with a mozzerella stick. Not wanting to say anything. Weirdly, I couldn't see my dad with anyone else. He was with my mom for so long, it was hard to imagine the fact that he would ever get back on the dating scene. It was like imagining someone eating a piece of gum after someone had already spat it on the ground. Very unsettling.
"What? Something on my face?" He said, wiping his hands over his face.
"Dad......." I knew that if I didn't ask him soon, I would lose my nerve. "What really happened between you and mom?" At first I didn't think he was going to answer, he just dipped his head and took another bite from his burger.
Wiping his mouth with his napkin, he sighed. "Sometimes, people break. They can't handle the stress of where their lives are taking them. In your mothers case, she couldn't stop thinking I was out cheating on her, because she thought that I didn't think she was good enough for me. It got to a point, where she couldn't handle it anymore, and she lost it."
"That doesn't mean you go around stabbing people. She was just a crazy jealous bitch."
"No, Megan, she was right not to trust me." Narrowing my eyes in confusion, he sighed once more, leaning forward. "Many years ago, I made a huge mistake. Arguably the worst the worst thing I've ever done. I betrayed your mother. I betrayed our vows. This wasn't just on her. I Â at fault as well."
"Are you saying you cheated on her?"
"Yes."
Staring at him blankly, I wanted to slap him. But at the same time, I wanted to understand. I wanted to understand what would drive him to cheat on my mother. Despite who she is today, she was actually an amazing person. She was great. To think that she is the way she is now because of my father  just makes me sad.
Throughout the rest of the dinner, I was distant. I was still there, I still enjoyed my fathers presence, but it was tainted. My image of him has changed. I no longer saw him as the man who would do anything to provide for his family and keep them happy. Though I'm sure he is still partially that man. I just can't process it all at once.
I stayed silent the whole ride home. Giving him the best hug I could muster. Hopefully by next weekend I will be over the shock.
Walking into the house, I felt exhausted. Not tired, but rather emotionally drained. Mentally exasperated. It wasn't too late in the evening, but I knew that Sloan was out on her 'special' date with Chase.
Not wanting to be alone, I went to Skye's room. Knocking softly, Â I heard a disgruntled, "Come in!" Opening the door, I had to pull myself back by gripping the doorway. There were pieces of paper spread evenly throughout the floor of Skye's room.
"Oh......Megan......I thought you wouldn't be home till later." She said, scratching her neck nervously as she stood up.
"Skye, what is this?" I asked, looking around at the room. Taking a closer look at the paintings, I realized they were all of the same people. Skye and I.
"It's not perfect, but it'll do for now." She said smiling.
What the hell?
*********To be continued**********