November
16 Weeks
"Wow" Harry breathes as we finally make it out of the dark room. "That was just, wow" He shakes his head.
"It's a game changer, eh?" I grin. "I just need to make another appointment" I nod towards reception.
"Ok. I think I'm going to head out. I seem to be attracting some unwanted attention" Harry sighs quietly, raising his eyebrows as I glance behind him and see people in the waiting room glancing his way.
"Oh, ok" My stomach lurches. I didn't want him to leave just yet. There's so much we need to talk about, plans to be made and I really want to ask him how he feels after the scan but I know I can't bombard him with shit when he's known about this for less than 24 hours.
"I'll bring my car around and get you at the front door, Okay?" He asks and my heart soars realising this isn't goodbye.
"Yeah sure. I shouldn't be long" I smile and he disappears out the door before anymore people get curious. I quickly make an appointment for my 20 week scan and just hope Harry can make it.
When I find my way back out of the main entrance I see a sleek black Maserati idling at the drop off point. I assume it's him because it's the only car waiting and it's the most expensive looking car I've ever seen but the windows are so darkly tinted it could really be anyone. As I approach the window descends and I see Harry grinning at my aprehensive expression.
"Sorry" He calls out of the window. "I realised you might not be able to see in" He laughs as I eventually get to the window.
"Nice car" I smirk as I drop myself ungraciously into the leather bucket seats.
"Thanks" He shrugs modestly. "Gets me from A to B I guess" He laughs.
I'm surprised as he doesn't immediately put it into drive, instead he shifts in his seat to look at me.
"I feel like we should go somewhere. To talk" He clarifies.
"Probably" I agree, folding my hands in my lap "but I don't want to overwhelm you"
"I appreciate that" Harry smiles at me. "But I can't hide from this and there's stuff we need to discuss."
Those words make my stomach drop. What is it about someone saying they needed to talk to me that turns me into a ball of anxiety.
"Ok, my place or yours?" I ask
"Yours?" He asks. "We all know what happened the first time we went to mine" The dirty smirk on his face is unexpected. I assumed that the second he found out I was pregnant, that night together would become his biggest regret. But here he is making a joke about it, putting my anxiety at ease for a mere second.
"Does it do one-eighty-five?" I ask absentmindedly as Harry pulls away from the hospital and I direct Harry back to my flat.
"Hmmmm?" He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Your Maserati, does it to one-eighty-five?"
Harry glances at me, I watch as a smirk plays at the corner of his lips. He nods before looking back at the road.
"I lost my license, now I don't drive"
I laugh, relief flooding me that he gets my joke.
"You should get a limo" I suggest as his eyes dart back to me.
"I do, I lock the doors incase I'm attacked"
I snort with laughter.
"I didn't have you pegged as a Joe Walsh fan" He smiles, his eyes darting back to the road.
"More of an Eagles fan" I admit. "But I love Life's Been Good. Any time I'm with my mum and we see a Maserati, I ask if she thinks it does one-eighty-five. It's become a bit of a tradition. I couldn't help myself"
He nods slowly a small smile playing on his lips as he pulls up outside my flat. He has a look in his eye that I can't quite distinguish.
We get out the car and I lead the way up the front step. I'm just glad I had the foresight to tidy up when I had nothing better to do at 6am this morning when I should have been sleeping but my mind had other ideas.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" I ask as I show him into the living room. The room feeling infinitely smaller with Harry's large frame in it. He takes off his navy coat and drapes over the back of the sofa.
I glance around my pretty bare living room. I've lived here for just over 2 years and I'm pretty proud of the set up I have. I put a lot of effort into getting the right mix of minimalist but cosy. I have two squashy charcoal sofa's sitting at a 90 degree angle to each other. One faces a huge bay window and the other faces an old fireplace that has book shelves built into the recess on either side. The walls are white and the floor is a light oak. A few blankets and cushions help it to feel cosy and the bay window lets in loads of natural light. It's a space I love and one I'm proud of. And a jittery part of me hopes Harry likes it to.
"A tea please, just milk" He adds. I nod and leave him to... explore or nosey around.
I busy myself filling the kettle and getting out my two best mugs. I snort at myself. Why am I bothering picking out the best mugs. I'm not trying to impress Harry. He's here because I totally fucked my life up enough to get myself pregnant by a man I barely know nor am in a relationship with. I don't imagine his opinion of me is overly high and I really don't think a fancy ceramic mug is going to make much difference.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I jump at the sound of his voice in the doorway.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to give you a fright" He looks sheepish, propped up against the door frame.
"I was lost in my own world there" I laugh, pouring the boiling water into the mugs.
"I noticed"
"I was just considering the effect a decent mug can have on a friendship" I muse out loud.
"I think it's what's inside the mug that can make or break a great partnership" He smiles as I hand him his boiling mug. Putting the milk back in the fridge I grab my own and follow him back into the living room.
"So..." I begin, blowing on my tea to cool it down. Harry and I are sitting on separate sofa's. Harry in front of the fire place and I'm in front of the open window. My tummy rumbles and I kind of wish I'd suggested we go somewhere to eat first, but the whole reason we got out of the hospital was because he was drawing attention to himself. Is this how life around Harry Styles works? You have to hide indoors so people can't take pictures of your every move. God knows I don't want pictures of me or my child splashed all over social media.
"Why don't you have a TV in here?" Harry asks randomly, his eyes flitting around the room.
"I don't watch much television and anything I do watch is usually on my laptop. I prefer reading a book or listening to music." I nod towards the the Bose speaker taking pride of place in the middle of my mantelpiece. I should frame it like a work of art, lord knows it cost enough.
He nods in understanding. I'm uncomfortable by how awkward he looks in my home. He looks like he's holding himself on the sofa instead of sitting on it. His body language is closed off and reserved. I can tell already he's avoiding looking at me and it pains me to think this guy is uncomfortable in my home. In my presence.
"I feel like I should apologise" I tell him. His head darts up, his face in a frown.
"Apologise? For what?"
I shrug "For getting us in this mess." I look up to see his frown deepen.
"You know what they say Nora: it takes two to tango" A smile slides over his mouth but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"I just feel like I should have been more careful. I wasn't on the pill and I didn't tell you that, and I don't know how or why I didn't tell you. Too caught up in the moment I guess. But it's not something I do often. Sleep with random men, I mean. I just want you to know. I didn't set out with this as the end goal. I hope you realise that." I finally take a breath after my incoherent ramble.
"I didn't think you did"
"What?" I ask
"Set out with this as the end goal. But we're both to blame. Not that it's a blame game" He adds. "But we both allowed this to happen. We both should have been more careful. But there's no point dwelling on it. It is what it is"
"I'm surprised by the way you're handling this if I'm honest" I tell him tucking my legs under myself and getting comfy.
"How so?" He asks, finally looking as if he's relaxing a little.
"I think part of the reason I didn't tell you for so long was because I didn't think you would believe me. I was sure you'd demand a DNA test or something"
"If I'm honest I did get a bit confused over the dates after you left last night. I spent a lot of time on Google. I had no idea you didn't date a pregnancy from the... night of... the deed" The tips of Harry's ears turning red. "I learned a lot" He snickers into his cup of tea.
"Yeah, I got a surprise when the doctor told me I was a bit further on that I thought" I agreed.
"A DNA test might be something to consider further down the line" He looks at me apprehensively. "I have a feeling my management team might push for one. Obviously if my name goes on the birth certificate... just there's a lot of money involved... I don't mean like... I just mean to cover us both it might be something to consider"
"That's fine, I understand that. I googled it. It can't really be done until after the babies been born so... it's maybe something we can discuss closer to the time?"
Harry looks relieved at my answer.
"I wasn't born yesterday, ye know Styles. I know that this situation isn't ideal. I know that you're a very wealthy man that lives a very unusual life. I know this..." I gesture between us. "... isn't ideal for either of us and it means we might need to do things a little differently and I'm ok with that. I'm not going to burst into tears and stop you from seeing your child because you want a DNA test. I think a DNA test might be a good idea for both of us."
"Why? Is there a chance I'm not the father?" He looks like someone's taken the wind from his sails. That someone being me.
"No" I quickly reassure him. "There's no chance you're not the father. I'm 100% certain you are. But I know what people might think about me when they find out I had a one night stand with you and it ended in me getting pregnant. I know how that looks and I know the stories that will be written. I think a DNA test would put everyone's mind at ease"
"It was only that way because you left" Harry tells me quietly, suddenly finding something very interesting in his cup of tea, to avoid looking at me.
"Sorry?"
"It was only a one night stand because you left without a trace. I didn't set out with the intention of you being a one night stand" He answers.
His honesty takes me by surprise for a moment. Until now I had never considered that I'd gotten myself into this situation because I'd left. Would things have turned out differently if I'd stayed for breakfast that morning instead of running out of his house before the sun was even up.
"So when are you other scans?" He asks, doing his best to change the subject.
"I get an Anomaly scan at 20 weeks which I think is quite important. They check out the heart, limbs and brain" I grimace."Then I think that's it"
"And is that the same if you went private instead of NHS?" Harry asks, glancing out the window, avoiding eye contact again.
"I have no idea" I answer. "It's not something I looked into cause I cant afford to go private."
"I can though" He eventually looks at me bashfully. "Is it something you'd consider?"
"I don't know. It hadn't crossed my mind. I don't have a problem with the NHS"
"Neither do I. But if you went privately you might get more scans and more appointments."
I nod considering the idea. I like the sound of more scans. But I don't imagine it would be cheap and I don't think I'm comfortable with Harry spending a lot of money for my hospital appointments.
"Obviously it would give us a bit more privacy. I hate to be the dick that brings it up, but.... I don't know how this will go down, us having a child together. With... my fans, the public, the media. It might make it easier for us to keep it quieter for longer if we weren't seen wandering in and out of the busiest hospital in London"
"Can I think about it?" I ask looking across at him.
"Sure." He answers running his hands down his thighs. "So in the interest of honestly... I think I might be away for the next scan."
Immediately I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I really hoped he would be here. It made a massive difference for me today having him there.
"How come?" I ask lightly. Even though I'm disappointed the last thing I want to do is pressure him into coming with me.
"I have a trip to L.A, we leave in a couple weeks and I'll be away for 3 weeks."
"Oh. So you'll be away for Christmas too?"
He nods solemnly. "What date is the next scan?"
"22nd of December"
"Yeah I won't be back until the 27th"
"I could try and change the date of the scan, but I don't know if they'll be happy with it being after 20 weeks... but I could ask?" I suggest, I feel like I'm clutching at straws but I for some reason I feel quite passionately that I want Harry there at the scan.
"Don't be silly. I'll see if I can shuffle some stuff around and get home early. But I can't promise anything. It'll be down to TV shows and when I'm scheduled to record the bits I'm doing. I'll see what I can do."
"Ok" I nod. I can accept that. At least he's willing to try.
"Right, I better go." Harry pushes himself from the sofa he finally looks comfortable in. "You know where I am, if you need anything then just phone me. Please" He looks at me intently.
"I will" I promise as I follow him to the door.
"Ok" Harry shifts from foot to foot as he stands in the doorway. "Just phone me if you need me, and I'll maybe give you a call in a couple of days?"
I nod, concerned that if I open my mouth no words will come out and instead I might just start blubbering instead. I swallow trying to get rid of the ball of emotions in my throat. I don't know what I'm getting emotional about.
"Ok, take care Nora" He smiles gently then let's himself out of the flat. I close the door with a soft click and disappear to my bed to try and get a handle on my emotions because suddenly the place is too quiet without him.