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Ivy
Inc Dimension, Base 1
I stood in front of his door, his sweater on my grip, as my heart hammered against my chest. I couldn't feel his presence, but that wouldn't stop me. If Edith was in, I'll get in and wait for him to return from wherever he went, apologize like my life depended on it, cause in a kind of way, it does.
Last night, after we got back from The Outside, I had the strong urge to just go straight to Ethan, but I figured he'd need some time, and most importantly, I was scared; he didn't reply any of my text messages, neither did he return any of my calls.
I was even more worried when he didn't show up in school at all. I was beginning to wonder if he was really trying his best to ignore me, or if something was really wrong.
I had spent after school hours today at the Hub, hoping he'd show up, but he didn't.
His house was the next best place, it was better to face the fear than to run from it.
I raised my hand, my heart pounding against my chest, I was so sure someone with the sharp hearing ability could hear it from miles and miles away.
I gulped down, my knuckles connecting with the door, each knock sent my heart colliding harshly with my chest. Even the chilly weather did nothing to ease my nerves.
When I heard footsteps approaching, my heart skipped a couple of beats, as I tried to wet my suddenly dried throat by gulping down.
Just tell him it was Michelle, he's going to understand.
Before he arrives, I'm sure I'd have found the perfect way to explain everything to him, and ask Edith for some advice.
I really should have listened to her, maybe if I had, Ethan and I wouldn't be having this problem.
If I hadn't been so stupid to sneak out after him that night, I wouldn't even be having this problem, he was still going to tell me about the Lithians anyway... But I'd been my stupid curious self, and I just couldn't help but mess things up for myself again.
The lock to the door unclicked and pulled open.
My heart jumped, my eyes widening a bit, as they took in the face I'd been dying to see. Ethan was standing there, no expression on his face as he stared down at me.
His hair was a bit rough, almost like it had suffered a whole lot of frustrated fingers raking through it, his eyes looked tired, but hard, almost like a visitor was the last thing he wanted at this very minute. He was wearing a lose black shirt that still managed to show the world he had a wonderful physic, he paired it with a lazy black joggers, almost like he just threw on the first thing he saw in his wardrobe.
The raging of my heart almost had me forgetting how to breath.
I sucked in a deep breath. I had never seen anyone pull off a good expressionless blank stare until this moment. Ethan was the master of that facial art.
I gulped down. "H-hi" my voice was so small as the grip I had on his sweater, tightened.
"Hi." He answered, his voice not giving anything away, almost like it had signed a contract with his face to scare the heck out of me.
Words escaped me.
I wasn't expecting him to open the door, I didn't feel his presence like I always did, and even right now, when I was sure I was supposed to feel warm, I didn't... The cold was freezing.
Come on Ivy, say something!
"I- I came to return your sweater."
What?! What the hell did I just say? What the hell!
His eyes moved to the sweater on my grip, they stayed on it for maybe a minute, before his Emerald pools, which was now a shade darker, came back to pierce me. His face still remained expressionless, as he reached out to take the sweater from my grip.
I swallowed.
I still stood there, completely unsure of what to do next. His eyes scanned me from head to toe, then back to head, as if wondering why I was still standing there. His next question confirmed that. "Is that all?"
I nervously played with my fingers. "Can I come in?" I asked.
He hesitated.
My heart dropped... I shouldn't have let this drag on for a whole day, I made a mistake... He hates me now.
He stepped aside, pulling the door open a few inches wider.
I walked in, hugging myself as I stepped further into his home. When I heard the door click close behind me, I turned.
He walked towards my direction, making sure to keep enough distance as he stood away from me, shoving both hands into his pockets, he kept on staring straight at me.
I let out a breath. "It's pretty cold outside." I heard my voice say into the silence.
"Yeah." Was his response, his face still expressionless.
I nodded, looking around. "Where's Edith?"
He stayed quiet for a few seconds before answering. "Working."
"Oh..." I nodded, thinking back to her Job at the Purest. "Have you had dinner?"
His eyes stayed on mine for some time, enough to let the silence drag on, before responding. "No."
I swallowed. "I haven't had dinner too, do you want me to make something so we-"
"No." He cut me off with his response.
My heart squeezed.
I had to talk about something, anything to bring up a reaction from him, just to create a smooth way for me to apologize...
"So um... I would have come over last night, but I- I wasn't sure if you were gonna be home, and uh- me and Roman kinda, went on a crazy adventure to the Outside, it was great seeing New York again," I managed a smile. "We went to his house, and the craziest thing happened, Kyle walked in on us trying to get Roman's laptop and Roman actually injected him with LT wipe to erase his memories of seeing us, and then we had dinner at a popular diner."
This would surely get a reaction out of him. I thought.
But I waited, for anything... Even a look of anger, confusion or curiosity, nothing came up.
"Cool." He answered after some time. His voice giving nothing away, it didn't even sound like he used much energy to let out that word... There was nothing cool about it.
I sighed, looking down at my feet, feeling so uncomfortable and embarrassed, as I felt tears build up in my eyes. "I'm sorry." I finally let out. "I'm sorry about what happened the last time we spoke. Those- Those things I said, I didn't mean them. I- I would never try to hurt you on purpose, and I don't think all those things of you, I promise I don't. I talked to Michelle, and she played a trick on my mind, I- I didn't even realize what I was doing and what I was saying... She was controlling me, and- and I just wanted it to stop. I'm sorry. I don't want to be away from you, I love you, and I- I know that you do too. I'm so sorry for doubting you, I didn't mean to. I'm really sorry." I blinked, causing the tears to slide down my cheek as I looked back up at him.
My heart jumped when I saw him still wearing that expressionless look... It scared me... It really did.
I want the old Ethan back.
He stayed quiet for some time, just staring at me.
I bit the inner part of my lower lip, anticipation and nervousness threatening to rip me apart.
"It's fine." He finally said. But nothing changed in his facial expression. "Is that all?"
My heart dropped, my eyes building up more tears.
"I- I suppose so." I managed out.
He nodded. "Okay. Can I ask a question?"
"Yeah, sure... Anything." I answered, the eagerness showing in my voice.
"Do you trust me?" Was his question.
I furrowed my brows. "Yes, of course I do."
He shook his head. "No you don't. In your mind, forget about Michelle's hand in it. You still think that one day, I'm gonna up and leave you, just like the asshole that everyone has painted me to be-"
"Ethan-"
"Let me finish, Ivy. I know you, right from the moment I met you, you've always been the kind of person to listen to whatever the public says, you believe whatever you hear, and I know people have said things to you, about me, about what I used to be, what I used to do... I mean that's the only explanation as to why you followed me that night. You did that without Michelle's voice in your head, Ivy. Yes I knew Michelle's responsible, in fact, I questioned her about it, but that doesn't wave away the fact that deep down, you don't even trust me, you don't know me, and you never believed anything I ever said to you."
"It's not that, Ethan."
"Then enlighten me."
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. "This is new for me, okay? I don't know maybe it's because I've never really been in a relationship before, and you- you are literally too perfect for me, and you have a past that... That involves so many people, so maybe people I've spent all my life envying. I know it sounds stupid but-- I can't help the way I feel Ethan, I can't just shut those thoughts up. But I trust you, I know you'll never do anything to hurt me, I swear I do."
The distance between us was tormenting, and I just didn't want to look at him when he's giving off these vibes... It scared me. I didn't want us to be over because of my stupidity. I could feel him sliping away from me, and it scared the living day light out of me.
My feet moved to close the distance between us, I didn't even think of the consequences of my actions as I wrapped my arms around his torso, holding him tight as I buried my head to his chest, sobbing silently. "I'm so sorry, I was so stupid, I don't know what I was thinking... Please forgive me, Ethan."
His heart beat was harsh against my ear.
He didn't hug me back.
"Please, don't let my stupidity ruin what we have." I held him tighter, seeking his warmth, but it was not there, it was absent. "Come back to me, please."
It felt like forever, holding him like that, and recieving nothing in return, have I completely ruined everything? Did he stop loving me? Where am I going to go from here?
With each of these questions, my sobs were only prepping to break out... I didn't want to lose him, not like this... No.
It was slow, if I didn't concentrate well, I wouldn't have even sensened it coming. His warmth increased by the second, enveloping me in a sweet embrace.
I heard him sigh, before his arms came around me, as he hugged me back.
Relief flooded through me.
"It's okay, Ponytail... Stop crying, you have my attention now." He chuckled.
He sounded different, like his old self, but I was still scared to look up at him, not knowing if I'd like what I'd see in his eyes.
"Hey," he tried to pull me away from him so he could find my gaze, but I wasn't having it. "I'm still human... I need to be allowed... space to breathe."Â He managed out, and only then did I realize I had held him tighter when he tried to pull away.
I let go slowly as he cupped my face, wiping my tears away. "You make it really hard to pretend to be mad at you, Ponytail."
I sniffed. "You did good."
He smiled. "I know, Ponytail, you don't have to tell me." He said, reaching down to peck my lips. "You should cry more often, you lips are softer."
I furrowed my brows, pushing him away as he laughed at my expression. "Go away, you're so mean." I managed a chuckle as I wiped the last bit of my tears with a sniff.
"And you're so cute." He grinned.
I rolled my eyes.
"Hey, remember that time you asked me if I've had dinner, well I wasn't joking when I said I haven't, and I'm hungry, and I'm too lazy to make anything, but since you're here, you're gonna have to cook. Since you kinda offered, and since it feels like punishment enough for breaking my heart in the boys locker room."
"You don't even look heart broken." I pointed out.
"Well I was, until I spoke to Michelle, and got everything cleared up."
"So why didn't you pick up any of my calls?" I asked.
He shrugged. "For effect." He winked, pulling me to his body. "On a serious note though, you've gotta stop suspecting every little thing I do... I love you, and I would never do anything to hurt you. Ever."
"I know." I gave a sad smile.
He stole my lips with his. I missed him, so much.
When he broke away from the kiss, he pulled me in for a hug, burying his face in my neck as he placed a small kiss on my nape. "I missed you, so much." He murmured.
My fingers found their way in between the locks of his soft hair. "I missed you too."
He pulled away softly. "I can't believe you actually lied to get a reaction out of me." He said with a chuckle, amusement dancing in his eyes.
"What do you mean?" I asked, my brows etched in confusion.
"All the talk about you and Roman leaving the sector and injecting Kyle with LT wipe?"
I raised my brows in understanding. "Oh... That wasn't a lie."
I pulled away from his grip completly, taking off my jacket. "What would you like for dinner, Murray." I asked, ignoring the look of confusion that was beginning to form on his face.
"An explanation?"
I gave him a concerned look. "I'm talking real food, sweetheart."
He shrugged. "I don't know... Anything you'll like to make... Don't distract me, what do you mean by that wasn't a lie?"
"That it wasn't?" I smiled.
He still looked confused.
"Okay, how about, you come help me out with making whatever I'll like to make, while I tell you all about our little adventure?" I wiggled my brows.
"That's fine by me." He answered, shooting me a skeptical look before following me towards the kitchen.
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Vote and Comment:-)
I'd love to know your thoughts on this chapter!
What was your first reaction when you saw Ethan's first reaction.
How bad do you want an Ethan?
I still think Ivy's making a big mistake by keeping all these secrets about Glory from him, do you?
Also, speaking of Glory, I kinda miss her...........
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