Chapter 146: Chapter 145: I Don't Know Why You're Here.

Vivian Platonis.

For me, she was nothing less than a benefactor.

During the dark times when I was branded as the Hero Killer, she was the one who kindly accepted me, despite the harsh treatment I was destined to receive wherever I went.

There existed a fear that could not be covered even by the affection born from such gratitude.

Perhaps fearing that I, too, might end up like those who died by her hand, I hesitated to approach her rashly.

“Why are you standing like that? Uh, maybe the smell hasn’t completely gone away…?”

“No, it’s not that. But still, to continue being in such attire is, perhaps, problematic…”

Being engulfed in the instincts of a man in such a situation might make it difficult to maintain the necessary distance in our relationship.

Therefore, I must resist.

Even though I haven’t completely shaken off my feelings for her.

“Do you dislike this?”

Did she find my attempt to distance ourselves displeasing?

Vivian, clutching the towel tightly, began to speak with an anxious voice towards me.

“…Huh?”

“Well, that’s because I-I’ve been staying in my room all the time. I’ve put on a lot of weight…”

Vivian, with her arms directed under her chest.

Her ample chest visibly swayed, and a deep cleavage formed, capturing my gaze.

In the deep darkness that seemed endless to the naked eye… the moment you let go even slightly, all focus would concentrate there, possibly leading to the loss of reason.

“…Do you really dislike it? This chubby body of mine.”

“No, not at all. I don’t think that way!”

At the end of her unbelievable statement, I quickly gathered my wits and vehemently protested.

It wasn’t a lie.

Objectively, it wasn’t that she had put on weight, but that she had developed where it counted.

If only she took care of herself not to look tired and hunched from staying up all night, she could easily be considered a beauty, just like Airi or Merilyn.

“I-it’s good. In fact, I prefer it if it’s on the larger side…”

Above all, she was kind and gentle to me.

Considering she appreciated everything I did for her and dedicated herself to her research, she was exactly my type based on those aspects alone.

“Do you like it…?”

“…Yes, I like it.”

After revealing my feelings a bit too honestly, I belatedly realized what I had said and felt as though I was choking.

To say I like it in front of a naked woman. Isn’t that essentially harassment?

“…H-hehe.”

But unlike me, who realized I had crossed a line, Vivian showed no sign of feeling burdened by my words.

The smile on her lips and the flush on her cheeks indicated she had taken my words positively.

“So, that’s how it is. Men really do like this kind of thing…”

“…Um, excuse me, Mr. Housekeeper.”

“Have you ever thought about that while staying with me?”

“Wh-what?”

What kind of thought?

What is she talking about?

“Well… I read it in this book here.”

While I was still puzzled, Vivian swiftly approached a corner of the disordered archive.

Then, she brought forward a book whose cover faintly depicted a man and a woman in an intimate scene.

“Men and women… if they like each other, they get physically close, I read…”

The voice she used, while standing in front of that book, was filled with shyness and curiosity.

It was as if the innocence of just becoming aware of sexuality made the moisture that should be hydrating her throat draw into her skin instead.

“No, wait. What are you saying…?”

“With you, Mr. Housekeeper, to touch each other… and then, after that… huhu, hehehe♡”

Swiftly, Vivian moved her hand toward the gap barely concealed by the towel.

Then, her eyes, bearing a peculiar sly smile, began to shift toward me.

A gaze filled with blatant anticipation.

“So, you, Mr. Housekeeper… you think so too, right?”

“What… that means… what exactly…?”

“You said you you like my body. So, that means… you want to… with me, right?”

Step, step.

Vivian approached me with trembling steps.

The tremble in her lifted lips indicated that even her inherently passive temperament was being spurred by an impulsive urge.

“Um, Vivian.”

And the target of such an impulse was none other than me.

She, who cared not for the strength or authority of others and deemed everyone before her as worthless…

…had come to regard me as a special individual, unable to forget me due to the abilities I possessed.

“I mean, I… with you, Mr. Housekeeper, I want to continue being together from now on…”

By the time I realized this, she had already approached right in front of me.

The moment our weary eyes met, I felt my heart tremble violently.

“After all, I’ve been thinking about it all along. More than research, I want to keep being with you, Mr. Housekeeper.”

What should I do in this situation?

Should I suppress this sudden flow rationally and calm her impulses?

Or should I maintain the attitude that I must not go against her mood, leaving everything up to her?

“You, Mr. Housekeeper, you feel the same, right? Knowing that, you want to keep being with me…”

“I’m sorry!!”

A shout uttered before a response could be given.

And then, a body stepping back.

By the time I realized it and tried to halt my body, it was already too late.

“…Why?”

I had rejected her.

In a situation sufficient for her to realize that fact, Vivian stopped approaching and started to stare at me blankly.

“Why are you suddenly apologizing?”

She wasn’t doing anything harmful to me.

She was just standing there, asking me. So, it might be possible to correct the situation now, but still, I couldn’t bring myself to reach out to her.

“…I’m sorry. I understand your feelings, Vivian, but progressing to that kind of relationship is too much for me.”

The reason was simple.

Even though I might be in a position where I had no choice but to follow her wishes.

Even though I held affection for her that couldn’t be erased by such fear, I knew there were things within me that must take precedence.

“Why…?”

“…Because I have a lover and a family.”

After coming to this world, I found someone precious to me.

Before understanding Vivian’s heart, I had already formed a bond with these people, and I was determined not to let anything break my desire to be with them in the future.

“A lover…?”

“…Yes, they are the most precious people to me right now.”

Even after becoming a hero, I felt the thirst because, deep down, I was anxious that it was not enough to fully take responsibility for those people.

Despite feeling overwhelmed by such a reality, and even though I had made many resolutions to move forward.

How could I recklessly accept the heart of someone who was trembling, unable to handle even me?

“Uh, yeah. Precious people…”

So, even if it endangered my life, I must not cloak those feelings in lies.

As I realized that this was the result of being true to my heart, Vivian stared at me with wide-open eyes and spoke quietly.

“So, Mr. Housekeeper, there’s someone else besides me for you.”

“…Vivian?”

“Yes, that’s right. A lot must have happened to you in my absence as well…”

The voice that trembled with a timid personality, for some reason, felt cold at this moment.

No, it wasn’t just the voice that had turned cold.

The bent back had straightened before I knew it, and the trembling of her body had ceased, leaving her standing tall and stiff in place.

“I see. Not knowing that… I’ve been waiting for you all this time.”

“Vivian, wait a moment.”

“I kept waiting, just waiting for the day I’d see Mr. Housekeeper again… but to Mr. Housekeeper, there were people closer, more important than me.”

Along with that, a hand reached out into the void.

I felt the anxiety that my statement had indeed ruffled her, but she didn’t actually attempt to target me with any unidentified technique.

She just waved her hand beside her, and from the space that opened, she grasped something in her hand.

“So, Mr. Housekeeper, you too will someday leave my side for those people?”

What she pulled out from the leather pouch was what one would commonly call a dagger.

The blade was sharp enough to reflect the archive’s lights…

Facing the object that embodied murderous intent made me feel as if my throat had suddenly tightened.

What was she planning to do with that knife…? Surely, she wasn’t targeting them instead of me?

“I just want to die.”

But the words that came from her mouth, the one holding the knife, were the complete opposite of what I had anticipated.

“…What?”

“I’ve come to dislike everything. I just want to die.”

“Vivian, wait, this is too sudden!”

The moment I saw her aiming the dagger she held at her own neck, I screamed, realizing what was happening too late.

“Calm down first. I’ll listen to how you feel, so just calm down…”

“No, no matter how much I think about it, this is the only way now.”

“It’s not about being cold! Put the knife down first, and let’s talk!”

Vivian, with her eyes half-open, turned to me upon my shouting.

Were the tears welling up in her eyes due to the despair of my rejection, or because she was afraid to take her own life?

“I don’t know. If Mr. Housekeeper hates me, then just…”

Either way, she was out of her mind at the moment.

Realizing this belatedly, I rushed to her, pushed her away, and quickly grabbed the fallen knife from her hand.

“Let this go, quickly!”

“No, this can’t be happening…”

“Listen to me!!!!!”

A shout erupted from my mouth.

And then, abruptly, the resistance stopped, and Vivian’s hand went limp.

Fortunately, her physique was not much larger than an average adult woman’s. It wasn’t difficult to drop the knife from her hand once she ceased resisting…

“Uh, uh…”

Just as I threw the knife far away, the sound of sobbing began to seep from her lips as she lay on the ground.

“Uwaaaaaah!”

And then followed a burst of sorrowful crying… No, not just crying.

To anyone who saw it, the way she endlessly wiped her tears with both hands was like that of a child who doesn’t know how to control their emotions.

“…Vivian.”

“I’m sorry, so sorry…”

Following her apology, I felt a numbing sensation at the back of my head.

I never thought she, who had mercilessly killed people, would show such a childlike appearance.

“I didn’t know you’d be this angry, Mr. Housekeeper. I’m sorry, so sorry…”

What could it be?

Even though she couldn’t forget me because of my abilities, why is she so lenient towards me alone?

She was willing to offer both her emotions and body, and instead of getting angry at me for not being able to control her feelings, she was scared like a child when I was the one who got angry.

“But I’m not sure either… what I’ve been researching for.”

Vivian said to me with a voice strained from effort, as I felt puzzled by her statement.

“The more time passes… nothing comes to mind. As time goes on, my mind becomes completely blank.”

“…What do you mean?”

“I don’t know; I can’t remember what I’m living for… It’s just your face, Mr. Housekeeper, that keeps coming to mind.”

It sounded more serious than just being tired and not being able to think clearly.

If it were just a minor case of forgetfulness, she wouldn’t have regarded me so specially. Unless it was more than momentary and her memory was consistently fading, she wouldn’t be desperately clutching at my clothes like this.

“But when you, Mr. Housekeeper, said I’m not needed, my mind became a mess… I just started to hate everything.”

“…Vivian.”

“Don’t abandon me.”

A series of surges of emotion rose in my throat.

Facing her pitiable state at this moment, the unfettered fear I felt at seeing her naked body completely vanished.

“Please… don’t leave me alone.”

Even though her power was irresistible, I knew it wouldn’t reach me.

Considering she chose to point a knife at her own chest instead of going to kill them as I feared, I couldn’t be afraid of her killing me as before.

‘Vivian, do you really like me?’

So, I wanted to know.

I wished for a chance to spend more time with her, to understand what kind of person she was.

‘Will you not betray me?’

If she could affirmatively answer that question, perhaps we could be connected, just like the two of us.

If she could guarantee absolute trust towards me in this harsh world…

Then perhaps I, too, could rid myself of hesitation and offer my sincerity towards her.

-Crash!

But just as I intended to ask for that sincerity, the sound of glass breaking reached my ears.

Immediately feeling my nerves on edge reflexively, something that had flown from afar stuck into her neck.

It was a needle, so thin and, therefore, assumed to be very sharp.

“Ah, ah…”

“…Vivian?”

“Relax. It was just a tranquilizer dart.”

Vivian gradually losing consciousness, and the voice that followed.

Immediately, a weapon formed in my hand, now on high alert, aiming towards the direction of that voice.

“Who are you…?”

“This is really disappointing. I’ve never once forgotten you, but have you already forgotten me?”

A shudder. My body trembled.

It stemmed from a feeling of déjà vu.

Even though he was cloaked in a black cape and wearing a mask, the distinctive stern voice revealed him to be someone I knew.

“…Why are you here?”

Yes, the person was the hero who had hired me as a porter in the past and had treated me like a friend of the same age.

Even after identifying him, the reason I felt wary of him was clear.

“Huhu, asking why I came here is such an obvious question.”

“Is it so strange that I, a traitor, have business with the Imperial Palace?”

He was the most wanted criminal with the highest bounty in the current empire.

Because he was the leader of ‘Nihil’, an anti-imperialist group.