Chapter 186: Chapter 182: The Only Way To Resist A Cruel World

I ascended to the surface after witnessing my teacher’s final moments.

From that moment until I reached my destination, not once did I look back at the place I had left behind.

I didn’t know why a blizzard swept across this land or why the Pope’s residence at the heart of the sanctuary had collapsed.

Even if I didn’t know who was behind all this and what processes led to the current situation, what mattered to me now was to be faithful to the reason I remained on this land.

“Kuwoooaaah!!”

Even if the monster before me wore the guise of a foe, if my goal was beyond it, I would draw my weapon without hesitation.

The weapons, ignited by my resolve, radiated heat that spread around me, seeping into my body and melting the frost.

The strength surging from within transformed into momentum in an instant.

-Slash!

Yet, even when I swung my axe with all my might, the damage it inflicted was negligible.

The cold that hardened even the stripped-away flesh only fortified its body, suppressing the heat from my weapon and dulling its power.

“Kuhrooo! Uwoooaaah!!!”

In contrast, each strike from the opponent was utterly savage.

The rough, frozen forepaws shattered everything they touched, and the sharpness of the emerging ice turned into deadly weapons that could slice through armor with a mere graze.

Unable to even think of defending against such rampage, I could only retreat, feeling a sense of helplessness welling up from within.

‘Will anything change if I go up there?’

That helplessness turned into regret.

I felt the worries I had before stepping into this place blooming again.

‘Nothing will change if I don’t act.’

Did I step into this place simply because I followed that advice?

In a reality, not a fantasy…

Did I gain strength from advice focused on something potentially futile in this harsh world?

‘But didn’t you say that if I couldn’t bear it, running away was also an option?’

My body, pinned against the wall, narrowly dodged a strike from its forepaw, which tore through the wall behind me and left the surroundings in shambles.

Had the strike been slightly off, it would have crushed my skull instead of the ice wall.

It unleashed these terrifying blows over and over, tearing through the blizzard as it charged relentlessly.

‘I have a wife and a soon-to-be-born child…’

The destructive power from its massive body.

The reckless nature emanating from madness, and the immortal life force flowing through its body…

All these intertwined elements made the monster seem like a living weapon.

‘Since coming to this world, I gained a mother who accepted me as her son. And someone I want to be with forever… is waiting for me in the capital.’

As this creature bared its jaws at me, were the thoughts racing through my mind mere chaotic distractions?

Or the life-flashing-before-my-eyes moment one experiences just before death?

‘…So why are you hesitating?’

I couldn’t dismiss those thoughts as distractions.

The desperate determination I clung to stemmed from the faces of those dear to me—how could I cast them aside as useless and abandon them?

‘Even in this harsh world, you found precious people… Why, even with the chance to escape, did you come here to meet me and not turn your back and flee?’

‘That’s because…’

‘It’s because you believe that what’s up there is no different from those you hold dear, isn’t it?’

My weapon, responding to my resolve, flared even brighter, its flames spreading further.

Even as the surrounding weapons glowed with the heat they radiated, the monster didn’t stop—it lunged at me again.

‘But… they’ve already left my side.’

‘For what reason, and to where?’

‘For reasons I don’t know, to a place I don’t know.’

Whoosh! Its forepaw, sweeping through the air, was deflected by my sword.

The next strike, and the one after that.

The precarious exchange of attacks continued in an unrelenting cycle, each move made with the utmost precision.

‘…I’m scared.’

It would be a lie to say otherwise.

The overwhelming strength of the monster before me was evident in every attack I narrowly evaded.

‘Going somewhere without knowing anything, facing something I can’t handle… I’m afraid I’ll lose everything.’

Even so, I had to move forward.

I’d come too far to turn back, and failing to overcome this would mean the end of everything.

-Boom!!

The massive body was pushed back by a counterattack fueled by such resolve, and the concentrated energy in my spear created cracks in its body.

Yes, it was working.

If I could keep reflecting its immense strength back at it, there was a chance.

‘Is your heart pounding?’

But then, the air shifted violently.

No, it wasn’t just wind—it was a whirlwind.

The surrounding blizzard converged into a single point, creating a chaotic whirlwind that tore through the area.

‘…Is it pounding?’

‘Yes, I asked if your heart is pounding with the fear that makes you hesitate.’

This was dangerous.

Even if it wasn’t aimed at me, the intensified wind would hinder my actions.

‘That’s right. Because I’m afraid…’

On the other hand, the opponent was a monster that could move freely in such fierce winds.

My eyes widened at the forepaw tearing through the blizzard, but I felt my body stiffening from the cold seeping into me.

No, not from the cold, but from fear.

Because I was overwhelmed by the one before me.

‘Because I’m afraid, I feel hesitation.’

If I stayed like this, I would die.

I had to move—to act—to survive.

‘No, the pounding you feel doesn’t stem from fear alone.’

-Bam!!!!

A burst of energy exploded behind my lowered head, and the weapons deployed reflexively began to pierce his body.

The weapons, heated with energy, boldly targeted the cracks formed by the previous counterattack.

‘Young one, I’ve been watching and observing many creatures for a very long time.’

“Kiyaaaaaaaa!!!”

The scream that burst out was evidence denying the opponent’s invincibility.

Even the senses paralyzed by frostbite were revived by immortality, and the heat emitted at this moment would burn that body even more.

‘And the conclusion has always been the same: the world is cruel, endlessly so.’

But that alone wouldn’t be enough to defeat or kill this creature.

To kill it, I had to push even harder.

‘To live means to feed on others, to fight against them, to prey on the weak, to sacrifice someone. Anyone who dismisses that truth must be a fool who believes they’ll remain an unassailable stronghold forever.’

-Slash!

Blood tears burst out as the monster writhed in pain.

Despite that horrific sight, I kept thrusting weapons into its body again and again.

Through the split cracks, into the melted ice wall, directly stabbing into the organs within the torn skin beyond, using heat that evaporated the blood to sap its life force.

“Kuooo! Aaaaah!”

But during that process, the desperate struggle led its forepaw to collide with my armor.

My body, sent flying, collided with the ice wall, making my head spin.

As if hit by a dump truck, my vision spun, and I felt the strength drain from my fingers holding the weapon.

“Krrrr, kaaah!!!”

Meanwhile, the monster moved.

Despite the heat from the weapons embedded in its body still sapping its life force, it endured the pain with maddening rage, directing its nose toward me.

To track the scent of murder in this rough blizzard and aim its blade, forged by madness.

‘But if so, is life merely about living to be devoured by someone else?’

The ensuing charge would surely destroy both my body and the ice wall behind me.

‘Whether weak or mistakenly believing oneself to be immortal, is life just about being erased by the harshness of this world?’

So I must escape.

Quickly leave this place and plan for the future.

‘If so, why does life feel fear and try to flee from danger?’

As I placed my hand on the rear barrier solely for that reason, the sensation froze me in place.

It wasn’t due to the cold wave sweeping through the space.

It was the warmth felt from the being trapped behind the ice wall…

The faint, nostalgic sensation of a long-forgotten connection reached out to me from beyond the ice wall.

‘If life is merely about fleeing in fear to the point of being crushed and disappearing, why does life cause hearts to pound for others and not oneself?’

Francheska.

That child was behind me now.

I didn’t know why she was here or why she was imprisoned by that monstrosity. But if I left her behind, the impending charge would collapse the ice wall and her body along with it.

If I ran now.

If I abandoned her and retreated, leaving her to her fate.

‘That’s because all life on this land chooses to be faithful to the pounding of their heart as a way to resist this harsh world.’

Realizing that, the heat from my pounding heart melted my fingers, eventually making them swing.

And what was in my hand at the end was a spear.

The direction was exactly where my gaze was aimed.

‘Everything in the world may seem like a perpetrator, but even in such a world, there is always something that makes those who tremble in fear yearn.’

Not at the shadow beyond the blizzard, but at the sky.

To be precise, at the blizzard fiercely raging here…

‘Even in a world of fears, there is value in pursuing the things that stir the heart so fervently.’

Entrusting the spear’s movement to the wind, I repeatedly focused to feel the force generated by its rotation.

Not on an individual, but on nature.

Gathering the power of this great nature around me, I controlled the flow to forge the spear in my hand.

Asking for help from the spirits that created the cold wave sweeping in at this moment, the spirits that howled in sympathy with the pain and sorrow of the monster that was their core.

‘In the process of advancing towards the object of one’s immersion, life overcomes fear and gains the courage and strength to resist the dangers aimed at it. You, who have reaped those fruits, know this well…’

The more I felt their emotions, the stronger the power grew, and I felt the pain piercing my chest.

I could understand, even if I couldn’t share their memories.

I could feel that the life this pitiable creature before me had experienced was endlessly miserable and poignant.

‘No matter how wretched that life may seem, you know well how beautiful and vivid its value is…!’

Despite its wretchedness, it was beautiful.

Through this body, I could clearly feel that the life he lived was more upright than anyone else’s.

So much so that I wished, if permitted, for that life to continue.

‘Then why do you consider the pounding of your heart merely as fear of the world and think of retreating?’

Transforming such a life into power, through the rotating spear and into my body.

Circulating it and preparing to aim at the monster charging towards me.

Faithful to the pounding I felt even at this moment.

‘Why do you desire to resist this harsh world yet seek to go against the best means chosen by your instincts?’

Feeling that it was those who showed me love even in this miserable world was what gave me the courage to oppose that heinous being.

“Kuwoooaaahhhhh!!!!”

The monster began charging with a roar.

The spear in my hand swung quietly in response to the incoming attack.

‘So love.’

-Boom!

The explosion that followed overturned the ground itself.

Even as the body standing on it flipped, the monster’s gaze remained fixed on me.

Even while its body was airborne, there was no sign of it shielding itself.

It aimed solely at me, who emitted a scent stimulating its appetite, and the doll behind me.

‘Be faithful to everything that made your heart pound. No matter how wretched and painful the process is, do not deny the pounding of your heart.’

When I locked eyes with that hideous monster, fear swept over me, but I gritted my teeth and prepared to throw the spear in my hand.

‘If you fear this world, love fiercely enough to face that fear. Love passionately as if to burn your life!’

In the face of impending danger.

And with the will to resist the countless cruel fates that would come.

‘Remember, that’s the only resistance we, born in this cruel world, can offer!’

And such will surely existed in the one before me as well.

Enduring the surge of emotion from that realization, I swung my hand with all my might, and the spear that pierced his body began to emit light.

And soon it would explode.

The monster’s body, created from the intertwined love, pain, and madness felt in a desperate life, would finally be burned alive in my hands…

-Boom!!

Unable to bear the horrific sight, my gaze finally lowered, and the sob that escaped my open mouth began to disperse in the blizzard.

“Truly…”

A lament for the pitiful victim who longed even more than I did and was consumed by greater suffering.

“I wish… things didn’t have to end this way between us.”

And for delivering such a cruel fate.

A curse upon this damned world.