Chapter 49: ❝ where did i go wrong ❞

(unedited)

Where did I go wrong?

I lost a friend,

Somewhere along in the bitterness.

And I would have stayed up,

With you all night,

Had I known how to save a life.

"How To Save A Life"-The Fray

I didn't aim it so that it would hit them.

I didn't want to kill either of them, especially without knowing who the hell was behind all of this. All I wanted was to get their attention. Still, it was an impulsive shot, so it did go near them. It went above Vanessa, but high enough that it wouldn't have -shouldn't have- caused any damage.

Shouldn't have being the key word.

I didn't expect Vanessa to jerk backwards.

Something must've happened between them with the knife- maybe Vanessa had decided to stop, or Keira had applied a sudden burst of strength that forced Vanessa to move back to avoid having her head cut off. Whatever it was, it forced Vanessa to jolt up into a sitting position.

And right into the path of the bullet.

It was so fast that I didn't even realize what had happened until Vanessa slumped over. Her mouth was open, but I didn't know if that had been because she had been about to say something, or if it had stretched open to scream when the bullet hit her.

And she wasn't moving.

Keira -realizing and registering the dead weight on top of her faster than I did- scrambled up, the knife clattering to the ground. She stared at Vanessa's still form for a second before bending over, pressing two fingers against Vanessa's neck.

I watched numbly as confusion passed over Keira's expression, then realization, then... Fear? Oh god, what if I killed her? She's not moving. I couldn't see any blood- was it too dark or was she simply not bleeding? I tried to think back, replaying what had happened. It had hit Vanessa's left side, upper left...

But her shoulder or her heart?

The gun shook in my hand, somehow still staying there, despite my slack grip and sweaty palms. "Is she okay?" I asked, my voice coming out as a slight, cracked whisper.

Keira didn't answer, instead she stood up. In a frighteningly calm tone, she said, "We have to go Elena."

"What? What about Vanessa? Is she okay? Is she..." Dead? Alive? Tell me she's alive; tell me I didn't kill her. Oh god, oh god, oh god. I started towards them, but Keira intercepted me, grabbing my arm.

"We have to go," she repeated.

I shook my head frantically. "No, we can't just- we can't- is she." I couldn't get a full, competent sentence out. My mind was to frazzled- Vanessa couldn't be dead. The bullet couldn't have hit her- it shouldn't have, it wasn't supposed to!

Keira pulled me towards the door. "We have to go." Why did she keep saying that? Why didn't she care that Vanessa might be dead? Was Vanessa dead? Keira had checked, but she didn't answer me when I had asked. Because she didn't want me to know, because she didn't know how to tell me?

I felt my breaths coming faster, I was close to hyperventilating. I usually managed to stay calm in even the worst situations, but this wasn't- this wasn't bad. This was way beyond the worst. "I can't- we can't."

"Listen," Keira hissed. "We'll say it was self-defense. Ashton will back you up. Jacen will back you up. Skylar will too. I'll back you up. You'll be fine."

Self-defense?

Vanessa's dead?

I killed her?

"No- this isn't- no, it's not about that." I killed her. She's dead. She's dead. Dead.

"Elena, you didn't do a bad thing." Keira shoved open the door and pulled me through. How could she be so calm about this? We had left behind a dead body. Maybe her and Vanessa weren't close, but Vanessa was dead.

I didn't do a bad thing? "I killed someone!" I choked out. "I killed an innocent person." I killed Vanessa.

"She wasn't innocent." She paused. "She would've killed me if you hadn't done something. Me and Skylar."

My head cleared a bit as I tried to focus on what Keira was saying. Vanessa wasn't innocent? Skylar had said she was the one, but... "Where is Skylar?"

Keira shook her head. "I don't know, but she wasn't there, I checked every room."

Skylar had to be around here somewhere. It couldn't be just a coincidence that she was missing, and she had been the one to call me earlier. She had said Vanessa was the killer- Vanessa who was dead now. Because I killed her.

If this had all gone through, I would've been the one who ended up dead.

I killed the killer.

How ironic.

But I still didn't know if Vanessa really was the killer. I couldn't just go by something Skylar had said, what motive did she have? She had said Keira had done it, Keira who was dragging me away from the guesthouse now.

She had said Keira had done it because she loved Ashton, not Nathan. She seemed closer to Ashton sometimes, so I guess it made sense, but her and Nathan had seemed pretty happy. It made sense why Ashton didn't want Nathan to know, it made sense with a lot of things, how she had been able to get Jacen to do her dirty work. Just earlier today, Jacen had specifically told me that he was 'done doing things for Keira' when I had asked him why he turned himself in.

It seemed to easy though.

The fact that Jacen had already told me. And Ashton had said a while ago that it wasn't Keira.

I'm not taking that chance.

I froze, my grip tightening a little on the gun I still had in my grip.

I didn't want to use it again, but just in case I needed some way to defend myself.

When I dug my feet into the ground, it forced Keira to stop. She whipped back around to look at me. "Seriously, Elena, we have to go."

"Go where?" I asked.

"The police station, of course," she said. "Vanessa attacked us."

And I killed her. I gulped, my fingers twitching on the gun. I wanted to drop it so badly, leave the weapon that had taken someone's life, but that would result in me being defenceless against Keira. "How do I know you're telling the truth? How do I know you won't kill?"

She gave me an incredulous look. "Who has the gun, Elena?" She sighed, and glanced away from me. "Ashton should've told me you had trust problems," she muttered.

"How am I supposed to trust you? I don't know you! Any of you!" I didn't know if it was Keira, or Skylar, or Vanessa, or someone else entirely who had done this. I didn't know if I had killed the killer or if I had taken the life of someone innocent- of my best friend in the Elite- and played straight into the killer's plan.

I wish I never got involved with the Elite.

It was the first time in weeks I had regretted ever getting involved. It had seemed nice, having friends, even knowing one, or more of them didn't have good intentions, and whatever the hell it was with Ashton- it had seemed normal.

But normal wasn't a word I should've ever associated with the Elite.

"Why would I want to kill you?" Keira demanded.

"I don't know! I don't know why any of you would want to kill me, but one of you wants to!" And I still don't fucking know who.

"To be fair, Elena, you do know us pretty well," she said. I scoffed. Yeah, right. "But knowing us now wouldn't help. It's not anything against you. It's just the way things turned out."

"That's not a very convincing argument for me to trust you," I told her. "I know it's not me. It's the game. But I don't understand why you all play it."

"Do we have to do this now? I'll explain everything once we get to police station."

I shook my head. "How do I know we'll get there?"

"You can drive and hold a gun to my head," she said.

"You have people helping you. I don't know- I can't trust you." Jacen might've turned himself in- if he was still at the police station that is- but who knew who else might've been involved in all of this. Skylar was still missing, and I wasn't sure if she was a victim or an accomplice.

"It's not me, Elena. I don't know what I can say to convince you that it isn't!" Keira exclaimed.

"V-Vanessa said you loved Ashton but he didn't love you back. And that's why you want to kill me- you want revenge on him," I told her.

Keira shook her head. "That's bullshit."

"Then what really happened?" I asked.

She grimaced. "I think Ashton would do better with explaining."

"Just tell me something. Give me a reason to trust you."

"Ashton wouldn't let me date Nate if I had homicide as a hobby." She paused. "Elena, Vanessa's the one doing this, not me."

That was true. But... Not really enough to go on. I didn't want to put my life- and maybe even Skylar's- on that one assumption. "Tell me something better." I tried to think of some reason for Vanessa to make a game like this with murder as an outcome. Ashton had said the game started with him, but him and Vanessa weren't close.

Maybe it wasn't about them now, like Keira said, but I had never heard a whisper about them. Not from anyone at school, not from Kaden, or Shawn, or Devon, not from any of the Elite. Their names were pretty much never linked unless someone was simply listing everyone in the Elite. And Ashton was involved for sure.

"I met Ashton before Nate." Keira's words came out in a rush, and she sounded nervous, though I wasn't sure if it was because she was scared of me, or if it had something to do with the story. "We were friends for a while before he came to ask a favor of me. He wanted me to make Nate fall in love with me."

This was beginning to sound familiar.

Like the game.

Make someone fall in love you.

But Keira had succeeded, and evidently she was still living.

So what did that mean?

"At the time, Nate was dating Vanessa. I wasn't close to Vanessa, or Nate, though I had talked to him a couple times. I refused. You might think very little of me, Elena, but I wouldn't wreck a relationship on purpose. But Ashton wouldn't let it go. He's actually a very good matchmaker when he tries. Then it just happened. Nathan and Vanessa broke up and..." she trailed off, since it was clear what had happened after that. Keira and Nathan had gotten together.

"Why did Ashton want you to break up Nathan and Vanessa?"

"He never answered." Keira shook her head. "Ashton has the frustrating habit of keeping things from people even if it's things they should know."

Yup, sounds like Ashton.

"Do you believe me now?" she asked, glanced at me.

"Almost. Just one more question." I sucked in a deep breath to brace myself for the answer. "Was Vanessa alive or dead?"

Keira hesitated. "I don't know. I couldn't find her pulse and she wasn't moving, but there wasn't any blood, and the hole in her shirt didn't seem that close to her heart.

Do I dare hope....?

"We have to go back," I said.

She stared at me. "What? No. We can't."

"You don't have to. But I do." Vanessa may have wanted to kill me, but I wouldn't be able to live myself if I killed her. I might have already, but if there was the chance that she was alive, that the bullet hadn't killed her instantly... She would need medical attention immediately.

"Elena-" Keira started.

I shook my head and cut her off. "I need to know if I killed her." I took off my bag and handed it to her. "It'll be quick. My phone and keys are in there. My car's parked in the front. Get in and lock the doors, and call for help. I'll be right there."

Did I trust Keira? Her story fit in with what Skylar told me about Nathan and Vanessa dating, and Ashton trusted her, I think- and I had to take the chance somehow. I needed to know if Vanessa was dead. If I killed her. If she was alive, I could still save her, call 911, get an ambulance over here.

I wasn't sure how I felt about her being the killer- if that was even the full story, since I really did have no idea about the Elite's past. But even if she was, the guilt would eat me alive. Knowing I had let someone die.

I didn't give Keira the time to respond, instead just turned and ran back to the guesthouse. Keira had made it clear that she didn't want to go back. Which made sense, I didn't blame her, if the bullet hadn't hit Vanessa, if I hadn't possibly killed someone, I wouldn't be coming back either.

The door was still wide open, so I slipped inside. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust back to the darkness of the room. Once they did, I glanced around the room- and froze.

Nothing.

Vanessa was gone.

What the hell?

Could someone have taken her away? But who? And what for? What did you need a dead body for? Even with Vanessa being who she was, I don't think Vanessa could be useful dead? If she was even dead, Keira hadn't been sure...

But even on the chance the bullet hadn't hit Vanessa in the heart, or some other place that could kill her, she wouldn't be able to get up and crawl away would she? Someone had to have taken her, or helped her.

Who could it have been though? Skylar? I hadn't seen her throughout this whole thing. But she had been the one to call and say Vanessa wanted to kill her. If that had been true, and she hadn't been forced, then why would she save Vanessa?

Then I realized something.

There wasn't a blood trail.

That had to mean something, right? People with bullet wounds bleed. And I was sure the bullet had hit her, I had seen it hit her. Keira had said there wasn't blood, but there was a bullet hole in her shirt.

Get help, Lena. Time to go. This isn't something you can deal with. You shouldn't have come back.

I spun on my heel, but then crashed into someone. For a split second, I thought it might be Vanessa or Skylar, but no, the body distinctly male. Ashton? Kaden? Shawn? I glanced up to see Detective Fallon.

What was he doing here? Well, it had been maybe fifteen minutes since I had left the police station, so it was possible that they had found out about me leaving. Why would they send Detective Fallon, though?

I'll take what I can get.

At least he knew about what was going on. Sort of. He wasn't completely oblivious to it all, it was better than nothing, even if he was working for Nathan, who Ashton wanted to keep out of everything.

"Ms. Evans," he greeted, sounding vaguely surprised. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head. "Vanessa and Skylar are gone."

"Gone?" he repeated.

I turned away slightly to glance around the room. "Can't find them. I saw Keira earlier, I need to call Kaden-" I cut myself off when I felt the cold metal of a gun press into the back of my neck.

"I'm sorry Ms. Evans," Detective Fallon said. "But I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

-- ♡ --

QotC: Do you think it's Vanessa? Or do you think there's more to it?

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