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"I wanted to cook something for you," Archer tucks my head under his chin, pulling me close. "But I didn't know when you'd be back."
"This is perfect enough." I tipped my head back and smiled reassuringly at him. I was being honest, this was perfect. He had ordered takeout for the both of us and we've been watching a movie about a murderer who's an artist that owns a gallery and dedicates his art to his victims.
For some odd reason, it reminded me of Mr Caldwell's art gallery that we were invited to. "Oh," I peep, "when's Mr Caldwell's gallery?"
Archer looks down at me with a frown, "in a few months. How do you know about that?"
"He had invited the both of us to come and you accepted his invitation during your drunken stupor," I say and Archer narrows his eyes at me.
He gets agitated whenever I bring up that night up and remind him of how he acted.
"You have no idea how badly I want to remember what it was like to kiss you for the first time," he had said to me.
He tightens his hold on my waist, bringing me back to the present. "We don't have to go if you don't want to." He nuzzles his head in my neck, speaking against my skin which sent goosebumps crawling all over.
"No, it's fine. I'd like to go to an art gallery." I pull away and look into his greenish brown eyes. "As your date this time," I add and he smiles the sweetest smile in response. Before he could press his lips against mine, I speak. "By the way, how much did I miss?" I asked, referring to my class with him.
Thankfully, the majority of the classes I had missed was literature.
"Quite a bit, but it's okay." He quickly stated, trying his best not to get me worked up. "It just gives you more reasons to come over." He smirked slightly.
I chuckled, "Okay, after this," I point at our food, "we have to start on what I missed out on." I said and he pouts.
"I wanted to watch a movie with you, there's this new movie that came out on Netflix." He said reaching for his remote.
"No," I smack his arm lightly and he slumped back onto the couch. "I don't want to be lost in class tomorrow," I said and he sighs.
"Fine." He goes a little quiet. I giggle, climbing on top of him, straddling his waist. As I lower myself on him, I feel him straining against his sweatpants, hard. I can feel just how my body on his affects him but he refuses to meet my gaze.
"Is this you throwing a tantrum?" I teased slightly and he kissed his teeth.
My arms slithered around his waist as I held him tight, "Thank you for this." I crane my neck to look at him. "I appreciate it. You made today easier." I whisper as I leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.
As I pulled away he grabbed my waist.
"I'll teach you, but after this." He waved his finger between the both of us as he leaned in.
"But I really-" And he cut me off with a kiss.
His lips moulded with mine as he brought me closer to him, our bodies flush against each other. I feel him nibble against my bottom lip and I let out a little gasp. His fingers traced the curves of my body while mine played with the strands of hair that laid perfectly on his head.
I felt him smile against my lips and that's when I pulled away, "What?" I asked, my smile automatically mirroring his.
"I'm just really happy."
⢠⢠â¢
"That's a lot," I said, staring at the pile of papers that sat on his desk.
"It really isn't, here." He patted onto a spot next to him on his bed. I sat myself next to him as he pulled out the book.
"Okay, so Ark's lover finally accepted him here." He pointed at a page on the book.
"After her friend's memorial, right?" I asked as I inched closer towards Archer, peeking over at the book.
"What?" He looked at me and a frown plasters itself across his face.
"The lover's friend. After his funeral, she held a memorial for him and that's when she accepted Ark, right?" I looked at him, both of us wearing the same puzzled expression.
I remembered him clearly talking about the memorial in the last time I was in class.
Archer sighed for a bit, running his fingers through his hair. "You really need help with this." He joked.
"So there was never a memorial or funeral?" I looked at him, brows furrowing.
"No." He chuckled slightly but something about it felt forced as he looked up at me. "She accepted Ark after he brought her to the cabin." He said flipping through the book, trying to find more quotes.
"That he built for her, right?" I asked, trying to make sure that not everything I remembered was wrong.
"Right." He gave a single nod. "Do you have a complete understanding of the seesaw theory?"
"I don't think anyone in our class does." I laughed and he nudged me with his shoulder lightly.
"Kidding," I looked at him. "I'm getting there," I said with a shrug. I'm sure it'll be a long time before I get there.
"Alright then just read until chapter 25. Not any further, okay?" He said and I simply nod my head.
"Why not any further?" I asked, curious.
"I don't want you getting confused. Plus, you have to annotate on the book so, it may take some time. I don't want you getting stressed out either." Archer said.
"Someone's caring." I teased and he simply laughed in response.
"Maybe we should stop with Vintage Love." He says, closing the book.
"What, we barely went through it." I try opening the book again but he takes it away from me.
"I went through other material in class, we'll go through that first." He says and if there's one thing I know about Archer, arguing with him would get me nowhere.
After helping me get caught up with class, he finally put the books down. He brought up Vintage Love only towards the end and by then, I was too exhausted to question him.
"So, you get it?"
I flopped onto his bed. "Yes, but I'm drained." I groaned into his pillow.
I heard him chuckle under his breath, "Let me tidy up first." He said and I sprung up to help him.
I stacked the papers on his desk and came across a tiny wooden box where he placed the vintage key the previous time.
For some reason, my fingers slither onto the lid and popped it off and I fished out the key.
"I think it's pretty cool that you collect stuff like this," I say as I study it.
"Hm?" Archer hummed, still facing the shelf as he waited for me to repeat myself.
"The key that you have, it's-" My finger's brush against something rough and I pause mid-sentence.
There was something engraved on it.
"You have to stop playing with my stuff." He laughed as he took it from my hands swiftly.
"Wait, it said Rutherford & Co." I pointed out and he froze in place.
"I feel like I've read that somewhere." I looked down to the ground, trying my best to remember but my overworked brain failed me.
"You're probably tired, Red. Go to sleep." He emphasised as he gently pushed me out of his room.
I knew I had read that somewhere, but where?
. . .
"I can't. I can't do this." I'm breathing, taking slow breaths, trying my best to will away the panic attack but nothing works as I feel it's vice like grip on my chest.
"That's okay, Red. I'm sure Mr Kane will understand if you need more time off." Lina says, kneeling next to my bed.
The sound of my alarm had woken me up from a nightmare. I wasn't new to them but instead of seeing the teenage boy that died in the wreck like I usually would, I see Riley.
"Do you want me to stay here with you?" She asks, running her hands up my arms, chasing away the chills.
"No, you've got a paper today." I manage to get out. As much as I needed someone, I wasn't going to let her throw away her grade for me. "I'll be fine." I lie through my teeth and she catches it immediately.
"Maybe you could call Mr Kane? There's still an hour left and he could keep you company." She suggests and I roll that idea around my head for a second.
He has been there for me during my hardest times this year and as much as I didn't want to burden him with this, I didn't think I could take today alone. I haven't been alone ever since I got the news about Riley.
My thoughts were tormenting me as it is and without the distraction of the people I cared about, I feared they'd plummet to an unhealthy level of darkness.
"You're right," I said, sitting up on the bed. "You better get going. I don't want you to be late for your paper."
"Okay," she takes in a deep breath as she rises from the ground. She bends over, placing a quick kiss on my head before pulling away. "Text me, okay?" And with that, she leaves.
I take small steps towards Archer's apartment and wait outside his door, the condemning thoughts coming back harsher.
Would he blame me for Riley's demise if he knew about the first accident? Would he see me the same way my family does?
My fisted hand freezes before knocking. I can't him view me in the same light as my family. In the same light as myself.
My arm drops limp at my side and I think of turning back around but before I could, his door opens. He stops with a jolt, his damp hair falling over his forehead with the motion. "Red?" His eyes find mine and instantly, he drops his suitcase.
His arms swing around me, bringing me to him and the walls I had so desperately hid behind these past few days came crumbling down. I couldn't fake being okay anymore. I couldn't tuck away the emotions that were bursting forth like water from a dam.
Archer doesn't say a word, pressing my head to his chest as my tears dampen his dress shirt. "It's my fault." The gurgled words spill out between my sobs and he holds onto me tighter.
He lifts me, taking me in his arms. I feel small in his arms but I liked it because maybe it'd make my problems feel smaller too. He carries me into my apartment and lays me down on the couch. "What happened to Riley-" He starts but I interrupt him.
"Not just him, Archer. Everything. I-" I bury my face in my hands.
He gently pulls my hands away, cupping my cheek with his hand as he asked, "what are you talking about, love?" The raw emotion in his eyes was something I've never seen before, as though he felt my pain.
In that moment, he felt so in sync with me, like I've known him my whole life and I was no longer afraid of him judging me. "When I was a senior in high school Lina and I went to a party with our friends. I never enjoyed drinking and I had just gotten my license so my friends made me designated driver. When we left the party, another kid did too but he was drunk. He swerved onto our lane and I was still too inexperienced to react quickly so we had a collision."
I gathered up my courage, letting my eyes meet Archer's gaze. "He didn't survive." The last statement comes out as a whisper as another cry threatened to break from my lips.
"Red," Archer breathed out a sigh, eyes looking intensely into mine. "That was not your fault, you weren't the one driving under the influence. It's a shame that he died but that was the consequence of his action." He says and swears quietly under his breath as another tear escapes my eye, down my cheek.
"Love, this isn't on you." He wipes away the tear with his thumb but more come flowing with my admission.
"Maybe it is. If I had driven better he wouldn't have-" My voice gets muffled by a strained cry and he pulls me to his chest. "And now Riley's gone too." I can feel that dreadful tightness in my chest as I begin hyperventilating.
Archer pulls away, placing his forehead on mine. "Hey, look at me." He says in a soft voice. He takes my hand, placing my palm flat against his chest. It raises slowly with deep breaths and I realise he's trying to get me to follow him.
It doesn't work at first because it feels like I've run out of oxygen, so I'm gasping. I'm embarrassed that he's seeing this side of me but he's not turning me away or looking at me differently.
Instead, he's trying to get me to feel better.
"It wasn't your fault." He takes in a deep breath and I try to mirror it. "No matter what you tell yourself, Red." He breathes out slowly. "The fact is, you weren't responsible for both the accidents." His voice wavers a little and my eyes snap to his.
His eyes were glazed over. He takes in another deep breath, my hand raising against his chest. "I'm so sorry, about everything. You shouldn't have to face this but now that you are and I'm here, please don't be tormented in silence. Whenever you need a reminder, to tell you that you're the sweetest woman who couldn't possibly hurt a fly at her worst, let alone be the cause of something so horrific, you come to me." He places his lips to my forehead and I press my eyes shut.
"I'll tell you everything that you need to hear." He kisses my cheek. "I'll tell you everything that I love about you." He whispers as he kisses the tip of my nose. "I could write a book because there's just so much to love about you, Red." He kisses the other cheek. And then he repeats the cycle, peppering kisses over my forehead, cheeks and the tip of my nose all while listing the things he loved about me.
All while I realise the things I loved about him, too.
...
A/N: Okay, shit. I hope y'all don't hate me, oof.
It's about to get a lil confusing, eek. skjkss I'm nervous lmao.