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"So, now for Robert Burns." Archer starts and I sigh.
"We're not done? We've gone through 10 of these in the past hour." I massage the sides of my forehead, trying to take in the analyses that he sprung on me.
"One more and we'll take a break, okay?" He watches me with a smile, seeing my exhausted form. "It's better you get used to this now rather than figuring out how to decipher these poems at the event."
"Fine, one more."
"So, A Red, Red Rose." He passes me the poem, getting me to read it like the past few ones but this one has my attention. And so unlike the rest of the poems, I read it thoroughly instead of stopping halfway. "You like this one?" He asks and I nod.
O my luve is like a red, red rose.
That one line managed to draw me in and I wondered how Archer caught that. "How'd you know?" I chuckle lightly as he stared right at me, eyes studying me with an intensity that gets me to look away.
"This is the first one you're actually reading." My eyes go wide as he says this and he laughs, "I told you, I know when a student lies to me." He says, a smile spread across his lips. "Anyway, so the colour red." He starts, the intensity in his stare back as his eyes pierced through mine. "Red's passionate."
With the way he's looking at me, I don't know if he's talking about the colour, or me.
He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Robert Burns repeats it twice, to show the intensity of the passion he felt for his lover." He continues after a few beats, ripping his gaze away from me.
Of course, he's talking about the colour. He doesn't date students.
"Burns has also used the rose as a symbol of love and he compares it to his lover." He speaks and his eyes glow, a slight tug of his lips as he smiles with each word. I caught him doing this quite often, where he'd lose himself in the words in front of him and it'd seem like he didn't have a care in the world.
"Red," he calls out.
"Hm?" Oh shit. I was staring. I haven't heard a single thing he said after the rose.
"You got it?" He looked at me as he raised his eyebrows, his eyes searching my face.
Maybe he didn't catch me staring.
"Mmhmm." I hummed, nodding my head.
"We can go through it one more time," He opened up the book but I knew it'll be futile. God, having him as my professor was making things way harder.
My hand sprung out as I placed it over his hand, slamming the book shut. "Enough, please. I'm exhausted." I groaned. We had gone through Vintage Love before this, which meant a splitting headache for me. That tied together with him prepping me for the event coming up, I was drained.
He chuckled in response, "Fine, help me with these." He gestured towards a few books as he picked up a few in his arms.
He brought them to his room and I followed him. I dropped the books messily onto his desk, not having enough energy to hold on to it longer.
"Wow, thanks." He lets out with sarcasm, a wry smile playing on his lips.
"I'm sorry," I laughed, "but I told you, I'm tired," I stressed.
I stacked it up one by one, trying to tidy up the mess I made and then came across something on his table.
"What's this?" I asked as I held up a rusty old key. It looked too old to be useful for anything.
"Nothing." He brushed it off, taking the key.
He held it up in front of me, "I like vintage stuff." He shrugged. "So when I found this I naturally got attracted." Archer laughed to himself somewhat bashfully as he placed it in a wooden box.
"Cool." A smile pulls onto my lips as I nodded. After a few minutes, I was finished with clearing the mess.
"Oh, since the event's tomorrow, you don't have to come over tomorrow night." He said as he stuffed the books inside his bookshelf.
"Right." I paused as I breathed out. "I'll get going then," I said as my expression dropped the moment I recalled what he had said earlier.
I bit the insides of my cheek as I turned on my heel. I knew it was crazy even thinking about being with him, but a part of me thought it was possible. With all the time we've spent these past few months, he couldn't have felt nothing.
Maybe he did feel nothing and I was just a delusional student.
"Wait." Archer grabbed hold of my hand before I could walk out of his room.
His action startled me as I looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm sorry." He shook his head as released me, "but are you okay?"
"Yeah?" My brows furrowed as I stared at him.
"Are you sure?" He pushes and I blink several times and the heaviness of my eyelids tells me that tears are pooling in them.
Are you serious, Elreda? I'm scolding myself for showing any sign of emotion in front of my professor.
"I'm sorry if I said anything that upset youâ"
"No, no it's not you." I cut him off.
I mentally face palmed the moment I realised how I phrased my sentence.
"Then what's wrong?" His tone softening as he looked down at me.
The moment his dark eyes stared into mine with care, I felt my insides break and the tears threaten to drip.
"I'm sorry." I laughed at myself for being stupid.
I've been such an emotional wreck recently but I've kept everything buried within myself. From the break up with Luca to the break-in and thanks to that, cash is currently tight for me but I'll handle that. And now, having feelings for my professor.
Shit, I had feelings for him? Attraction was one thing because, come on, you'd have to be stupid to not be attracted to this guy. But feelings takes this to a whole different level. Was I even ready to invest my emotions in another guy after Luca? Would it matter if I was ready?
"It's nothing really," I said as I fanned my face, a futile attempt to dry my watery eyes.
"Hey, it isn't nothing if it's affecting you."
"No, it really is. I'm sorry, I should go. Thank you for helping me today." I gave him a teary smile before walking out. A tear managed to escape my eye and it dripped down my cheek. I instantly wipe the tear that betrayed me with the back of my hand and opened the main door.
"Red!" He called out from behind me. He rushed towards the door and held onto me, his arm snaking around my waist. I hate that it made me feel safe and I hate that I liked his touch because he won't feel the same way.
He turns my body to face him and noticed my tear-stained cheeks. His shoulders relaxed as he breathed out, eyes running along my face. I feel the warmth of his hand on my cheek and I sink into his palm as he cups my cheeks. "Red," he whispers my name like a plea.
"I'm just tired," of everything and am in desperate need of a break. "Thank you for helping me out today but I should go." I pull away from his touch and his warmth is replaced with a dull emptiness.
"Wait," he speaks before I could step out. "Be here tomorrow." He looked at me with a certain longing in his eyes that confuses the heck out of me. God, what was this man doing to me?
"But I thought you saidâ"
"Forget that," he shakes his head. "I forgot you were still clueless with Vintage Love." He chuckled. I could see he was trying his best to lighten the mood and make me smile.
And he did. He made me smile.
...