"Hey," Hazel poked her head into the room. "Dinner's ready. And dad cooked Turkey." She announced.
"It looks like its gonna taste like rubber but he said if I get you to come down, I get to have a sleepover at Virginia's this weekend."
I gave Hazel a small smile.
I shifted where I sat by the only window of the room.
"Sorry Haze." I muttered. "Not tonight."
She frowned and I could tell she was disappointed but she didn't push. None of the Bensons did, not even Kat who I could tell was getting more and more impatient with my reluctance to talk about what had happened.
Hazel ran up to me suddenly and wrapped her arms around me. I had been receiving more and more hugs from her lately. I wasn't complaining, they were always welcome.
Hazel didn't know exactly what had happened the night of the AAP ball. And none of us were planning on telling the Benson kids any of the specifics. All we told them was the truth we thought they deserved and could manage; Roman had come back and we were almost taken away, me and their parents. That's why there were guards not only around the house all the time but they were around when they went to school and all around town for their safety.
"My wolf teeth came in." She spoke to me in a low tone. "You're gonna miss me shocking mum to death by ripping apart the turkey."
I wanted to laugh, I really did but laughing had become so difficult for me lately. I let out a low sound that I figured would be good enough.
When Hazel stepped back, she placed her hand on mine . "I'll sneak up an ice cream sandwich for you later, okay?"
I gave her a smile. I didn't want to tell her that food had been the last thing on my mind but I wanted to give her hope that I was feeling better so I just nodded.
Hazel left and not even a second later, Uncle Victor walked through the door leading me to believe that he had been listening in on the conversation.
"Hey baby girl." He greeted.
"Hey." I spoke in a quiet voice.
He had been coming in to talk to me everyday since the incident. The first week was the worst. Aunt Sarah had even suggested therapy. I think that's what scared me into putting in the effort to leave the room more often even if it was only to show the others that I was still alive.
But now we made small talk and occasionally, I opened up about that night and what I was still afraid of. But I never said too much. I told him things in bits and pieces, that's as much as I could handle.
"I made turkey." He spoke in a half enthusiastic tone.
I gave him a weak smile. "So I heard. I bet it's really good."
"Gordon Ramsey would be jealous." He spoke with a firm nod.
I shook my head but smiled at that.
He grabbed the swivel chair from the study desk and rolled it over so that he could sit in front of me.
"Sooo... how was your day?" He asked.
He aIways asked as if I didn't spend majority of my days in this very room.
When I didn't respond, Uncle Victor just kept talking.
"Well I went to work today and some guy spat the words 'Van Cliffe scum' at me."
I quickly looked up at him, horrified by his words.
Uncle Victor had fought so hard to remove the Van Cliffe stain from his name. Especially when he became a Silvercrest but all my actions had done was bring that stain back, bigger and more noticeable than before.
"I'm so sorry." I told him genuinely.
He shrugged. "The guy tripped and fell in that pond by Rotator park right after he said that so it actually wasn't that bad." He spoke with a wide grin on his face.
I didn't smile. Because it wasn't funny to me. The pain I constantly brought to the people I cared about was getting too much and I honestly didn't know how he bared with me anymore. How anyone bared with me anymore.
I looked out the window, down at the ground where three men had been slaughtered trying to protect me. The other three had barely made it but they were still hurt really badly. All that was on me.
And it was all because of the two people I had trusted most in the world
"Hey kiddo, talk to me." Uncle Victor spoke softly.
I wanted to talk to him. I really did. But it felt like everything I tried to say got stuck in my throat.
It was all too much. As I said, I couldn't get out much without completely breaking down.
"I heard Michael Melrose came by." Uncle Victor spoke. "You didn't want to see him?"
On Monday, it had been both the twins. I couldn't face them either so I told Uncle Victor not to let them up. Joshua had gotten mad and started yelling about how I 'owed' Tristan even one visit.
Uncle Victor made him leave, of course.
Today it had been Michael, he had come alone with a basket of cookies. I couldn't see him either.
"Yeah, he wanted me to call Tristan." I told him.
Kat had passed on the message.
Uncle Victor looked at me sympathetically. "Have you changed your mind about talking to him?"
I already knew he meant Tristan.
I felt tears prick at my eyes as I remembered the last conversation we had after the funeral.
The problem wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him. That's what people didn't get.
The problem was that he didn't want to talk to me.
The way he had looked at me that day... it's the first time he had ever looked at me that way - like he officially didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
I had been resisting the mating bond for so long that I thought I would be relieved when Tristan finally accepted it as well. But now he had and I don't know why it broke me so much to know that I had finally pushed Tristan away in an irretrievable way.
"H-how is he?"
I knew Uncle Victor had seen him more than once since the incident because of the investigation.
Uncle Victor didn't respond immediately.
"Death is never easy, baby girl, for anyone to deal with. I think he feels responsible because -"
"He shouldn't feel responsible." I spoke, my voice cracking. "It's all my fault."
Uncle Victor moved closer. "Don't say that Crystal. What happened that night - to those soldiers, to beta Bridget - "
"They came for me, Uncle Victor!" I snapped. I felt tears running down my face. "A-and people got hurt and died and now everyone hates me even more and now h-he hates me and... and-"
Uncle Victor got up and sat beside me and wrapped his arms around me.
I let him hold me as I sobbed into his shoulder.
"Who are these people?" I asked through my tears.
"I - The Roman I knew would never - and... mum she - I thought she -"
"I know, baby, I know." Uncle Victor cooed as he smoothed down my hair which Kat had down into cornrows for me just the night before
I wanted to ask how they could possibly be behind these horrible things. I wanted to talk about how kind and good they both had always been. But these days in my room made me think about both Roman and my mother in a way I never thought I would.
It made me see things I had previously ignored. The darkness I had always brushed away.
My mother? She had always been strength and confidence. She had always been funny and so sure of herself. Whenever she would walk into a room, people would notice her because she was the kind of beautiful that couldn't go unnoticed.
My dad, being the complete opposite was all too used to it. In fact, he always stared at her in awe when she would do something as simple as talk. I once heard him telling one of his work friends how he, himself wondered how he scored such a magnificent woman. He even equated it to the nerd in high school getting the most popular girl.
When Roman spoke about my mother that night. I knew immediately, without a doubt, that he was talking about the same woman. He spoke about her the way everyone spoke about her. Like she was the most special thing they had ever witnessed.
My mother was special. I adored her but even as a young girl, I saw the fierceness in her entire being and could never quite make sense of it. My mother wasn't gentle. Maybe that's why I always went to her when I needed protection.
Not that she was aggressive either but there are times that 'not so gentleness' came out and genuinely scared me. When someone made fun of me at school, when one of my dad's co workers, especially the men who constantly tried to flirt with her, would blatantly disrespect or try to undermine my father.
My dad was a man who had long since stopped caring about what people said about him so he would always ignore 'bullies' from work. But my mother never let it go and I always saw the anger in her eyes when it happened.
Then there was Roman. Much like my mother, fiercely protective, strong, confident.
But there was anger in Roman too. Anger and resentment that I had always written off as being justified.
Anger that I tried to pacify but never actively tried to take away.
Because I had just accepted that it was a part of him.
When I had calmed down enough to pull away from Uncle Victor, he let me lie down in my bed and he tucked me in. It had been this way since the night of the ball. Not all nights ended in tears but most of them did.
I cried myself to sleep again.
Kat came into the room around 11.pm and the sound of her shuffling around is what woke me up.
"Oh good, you're up." She said and I begun to suspect that she had intentionally made so much noise.
She got into bed with me.
She had been doing that a lot lately.
"So you'll never believe what happened today at school..." Kat, much like uncle Victor insisted on telling me about their days.
Maybe my therapist had told them that was a good way to get me to open up.
Kat went on about how tight security was at school and how no one messed with her because of the bodyguard that Tristan had appointed to watch her. He had appointed bodyguards for everyone in the family apparently.
It was needed now that we knew the Van Cliffes weren't only after me anymore.
She spoke about how some people wanted to hang out with her and Chris now because they were so associated to the attacks but how some were giving them some major side eye for the same reason.
After everything, Tristan had been forced to be transparent and had to tell everyone that the Van Cliffes had been behind the attacks on the pack, I knew everyone was on edge and tossing blame everywhere. At Tristan for letting this happen, at Roman, at the Bensons for having Van Cliffe blood and especially at me. It made me grateful that I hadn't been to school in a while.
Chris had been by to visit a few times. Thankfully, he never made me speak either. He sat with me and played board games or tried to tutor me in the school work I was missing. He was by far the most peaceful company. Even if he pretty much ranted the whole time. It's like he understood the trauma I had gone through without even being there.
But I could tell he shared the betrayal I did. Or at least a semblence of it. He, like me, still had hope in Roman. No matter how minute.
Kat went on to talk about how Courtney had gotten into another fight.
She had been getting in trouble more and more lately. It's a wonder how they hadn't suspended her yet.
Not that I wished that upon her because of our enemity. No.
I just didn't think it was wise or helpful for her to be back in school so soon after her sister - after what happened.
Kat let me fall asleep after some time.
But she didn't leave the bed. She never did. She always stayed close, holding me.
Sometimes I wondered if it was more for my comfort or for hers.
Kat was brave but she still got scared.
She hadn't been here with everything that had happened but I knew that like me, she was afraid of what would have happened if she had been here.
Or if Hazel or Parker had been here. Or even if we hadn't managed to escape. What would have happened if she had gottn back from the ball and I wasn't here? What if she had gotten back and her parents were gone.
I had tried to apologize to Kat because I felt guilty for endangering everyone but she wouldn't hear it. None of the Bensons would. But I knew better. It was all my fault. And I know if Bridget could, she would tell me that right now.
But she couldn't. And that was my fault too.
"Next time we'll do something special." Roman spoke softly as he brought my hand, which was in his to his lips and placed a soft kiss on it.
I lifted my head from where it was laying on his chest and looked at him incredulously.
"You're kidding, right?" I asked.
Roman looked down at me, giving me both a good view up his nose and also into his eyes.
"No." He spoke, smiling slightly.
I rolled my eyes and pushed myself off him before sitting up beside him
I hit him playfully on the arm. "You can be really annoying sometimes, Roman." I whined.
Roman looked amused as he sat up as well causing the truck to creak a little.
"What?" He asked.
I pouted and gestured around.
We were seated in the back of Roman's truck and you could see the remenants of what had been the best birthday ever.
Aunt Sarah, Kat and Hazel had helped him decorate it with my favourite flowers and a whole bunch of multicoloured balloons. He had also gone out and gotten all my favourite snacks and beverages along with my favourite candy and of course popcorn so that I would have more than enough of a selection for the actual birthday surprise.
It was our own personal drive in movie set up.
I didn't think it was even possible to drive up to our hill. But of course Roman had known a secret route that a car could use the entire time.
Boy made me hike up there numerous times for nothing.
We watched the first Twilight movie. Roman hadn't wanted to watch it. He, like everyone here frowned upon anything that humans made that was supposed to represent werewolves.
Taylor Lautner though!
But today, Roman watched it with me. I could watch this movie a million times so of course I enjoyed it. Roman just pretended to, making a comment about why 'a lamb would be stupid enough to fall for a lion' in the first place.
Thankfully the first movie didn't have werewolf scenes so I didn't get to see Taylor Lautner take off his shirt and Roman didn't get to complain as much.
All in all, it had been perfect but of course my overachieving boyfriend didn't see it that way.
"How do you do such an amazing thing for me and say stuff like 'it could be better'." I spoke, imitating his voice
Roman grinned at me.
"First of all, I sound way sexier than that and second of all, I didn't say it could be better, I said we'd do something special next time."
I rolled my eyes. "That's my point, Roman. This is special."
I didn't think I would ever meet someone who would go out of their way for me like this.
"Okay, then it will be even more special." Roman told me as he took my hands and pulled me closer.
I squealed as he pulled me to his chest and pushed us back down into a sleeping position with me laying on his chest again and his arms wrapped around me.
"Look at the sky." He spoke softly. "Woodfell has the best views."
I looked and of course the sky was full of stars and it looked brilliant. It was also a full moon tonight. Which made things all the more better.
"You deserve something that special." He spoke.
"The stars?" I laughed.
"No." He spoke. "The moon."
I leaned in closer to him and tried to sync my breathing with his. His chest rose and fell steadily and I wanted to freeze this moment with him. He seemed relaxed. He was hardly ever this relaxed.
There was always something, his foster parents, bullies troubling his friends, AAP stress... Roman wasn't a happy person.
It was horrible for me to say such a thing but it was true. He wasn't miserable either, don't get me wrong. There was just a part of him that always seemed angry, too serious. Like he was held on to his problems with an iron fist. But then there were times â rare ones like these â where he would loosen his hold on his problems and just be.
That was my favourite version of Roman. And whenever he showed up, I tried to enjoy him as much as I could.
"What if I told you that you mean more to me than the moon?" I asked in a small voice.
Roman was only older by a year and some months but sometimes I felt like that loser younger kid he felt sorry for. So I didn't know if it was okay to say some of the things that I said to him without coming off as a total dork.
I felt Roman tense up.
He didn't say anything for a while and I immediately felt my face heat up.
Had that been too much? I wanted to face palm myself right there and then.
"You know the first time I watched twilight, I got a terrible brain freeze from my slushy." I blurted out just trying to desperately change the topic.
Roman cleared his throat. "Oh yeah? Uhm... who did you go with? To see the movie, I mean?"
I don't know whether I was relieved that it had worked or disappointed.
"Uhm, Tucker." I spoke.
Roman looked down at me. "Tucker, huh? You mean that human champ who was your first boyfriend?"
I poked Roman in the ribs. "Shut up, you didn't even know him. Tucker was nice."
Tucker was nice. He was one of those guys who simply went through life without a care in the world. I didn't even know what relationships meant at thirteen but I guess he had been my boyfriend in the middle school sense. We went out a few times, always group things with his older brother chaperoning. It was always fun. He was a funny guy.
That was before Woodfell and the craziness of finding out I was a werewolf, of course. Tucker represented normal. I guess that's why I treasured the memories I had with him so much.
"Whatever. I still know he can't hold a flame to me." Roman teased.
No one can hold a flame to you. I thought to myself without actually saying it out loud. If only he knew.
"He took me to my first ever dance, you know." I stated matter of factly.
"Yeah, yeah." Roman spoke dismissively.
I giggled, enjoying making him a little jealous.
"I wore this really pretty blue dress that my mum and I had found online." I continued, trying to sound as enchanted as possible. "He looked so handsome in his matching suit. He came over and my dad took pictures and my mum threatened him of course -"
Roman snorted out a laugh.
I looked up at him.
He waved me off. " Sorry, go on. I'm just laughing because it really sounds like something she might do."
I looked at Roman in confusion. "What?"
Roman stopped laughing. He gave me an easy smile. "You know, from the stories you've told me about your mum. She sounds really tough."
"Yeah, uhm... she is." I spoke.
In fact, if she were here. She would have sat Roman down and made him explain in immense detail what his plans were for us tonight. Including locations and time and everything.
But she wasn't here, was she?
I think Roman sensed how my mood suddenly dampened because at that moment, he nudged me.
"Hey, did Tucker ever take you dancing?" He asked.
I smiled. "He was a horrible dancer and stepped on my foot like three times the one time we danced that night."
Roman sat up suddenly, pulling me with him.
He then leaned over and grabbed his phone and played a very familiar song.
I beamed at him.
"Is that -"
"Kat might have mentioned you liked it." He stood up on the bed on the truck and it creaked again.
He looked down at me and held out his hand. "I can't promise not to step on your feet.
I rolled my eyes but took his hand and let him pull me up.
He placed his arms around my waist and let me wrap mine around his shoulders as he pulled me closer and softly swayed.
The song lyrics that I knew all too well played in the background.
You gave me a shoulder when I needed it
You showed me love when I wasn't feeling it
You helped me fight when I was giving in
And you made me laugh when I was losing it
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why I'm still hanging on
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could, I'd get you the moon
And give it to you
And if death was coming for you
I'd give my life for you
I don't know how long we'd been swaying but Roman leaned in and whispered to me, 'the moon has nothing on you, Crystal."
I smiled and held him tighter.
Before I could say anything else, the song stopped abruptly as Roman's phone begun to ring. He quickly pulled away from me and took the phone, cutting the call immediately.
I rose my brows at him. "Who was that?"
He forced a smile. "Just Sal. Probably wants money or something."
He restarted the song. "Now, where were we?"
I let Roman hold me again and we commenced our swaying but this time I could tell that the tension was back. The relaxed Roman had disappeared again.
And I should have been more worried than I had been that night.
I woke up before Kat.
It was a Saturday and I knew Uncle Victor and Aunt Sarah were probably downstairs reading the Bible. They always got up early on Saturdays to do so.
That's why I knew this was the perfect time.
I had wanted to tell Kat first but I had a feeling telling Uncle Victor and Aunt Sarah first was the more respectful thing to do.
They definitely looked shocked when they saw me join them.
They had both been standing, looking at each other like they had been in a deep conversation.
"Hey sweetie." Aunt Sarah greeted softly.
I decided not to beat around the bush.
"I'm turning eighteen next week." I announced.
Before Uncle Victor could say anything, I kept going.
"That makes me a legal adult. It means I can be on my own -"
"Now hold on -" Uncle Victor interrupted.
"I don't want to live in Woodfell anymore." I blurted out.
I heard someone clear their throat and I froze as the familiar figure emerged from the kitchen accompanied by Peter and another man I didn't recognise.
Aunt Sarah sighed. "Sweetie, uhm, Alpha Tristan came by."
My knees felt weak. I stared at Tristan. He looked like him but not like him. His skin was pale, only highlighting the dark circles around his eyes. He stood stiffly and just stared at me blankly.
I missed the looks of concern that he would give me when he thought I wasn't looking. I missed him actually caring about me.
I didn't know why he was here but a part of me was overwhelmed with joy that I got to see him again while the other was just reminded of what I had taken from him that night and I wanted to run away.
Uncle Victor stepped forward.
"Crystal." He started seriously. "It's about time you knew something that - " He stopped and looked at Tristan briefly before looking back at me.
"Something really important about your mother."
AN
Guys, I started writing this chapter as a filler chapter just for the sake of it but then I really got into it and here you go....
What do you guys think?
And by the way, Get you to the Moon is the song that was playing when Roman and Crystal were dancing and I am officially declaring it their song!!!!!!!! Lol, I just think it suits them so much.
What do you guys think would be a really good song for Tristan and Crystal? I would love to hear your suggestions.