Pacing in front of the living room window, I crossed and uncrossed my arms over and over like a nervous fool as I waited.
Chloe was supposed to be coming over with her little brother Mason any second now for his playdate with Dylan. Usually, his mother brought him, but today I insisted Chloe bring him here instead. Why? Because I needed to talk to her about Mia.
After the disastrous way yesterday afternoon had ended with Mia, I'd officially decided enough was enough. I was going to come clean to Mia about my feelings, and to do that without fucking up or scaring her, I needed help. Hence why I needed Chloe.
She was without a doubt going to have some crucial insider information about Mia and would be able to help me in ways Lucas simply couldn't. I'd already asked him what to do and his wonderful suggestion was to, and I quote: 'Wait for her on your bed naked with a rose sticking through the side of your mouth. Trust me, she'll get it.'
Long story, short, Lucas was an idiot, and I was never going to him for advice again.
Now back to Chloe. Though I wanted her help, my stomach still churned with anxiety as I awaited her arrival. I'd known her for a long time now, and I knew she was far from mean but that didn't change the fact she was still one of Mia's best friends. Friends that undeniably told each other everything.
This means whatever stupid shit that slips out my mouth today, was inevitably going to be transported back to Mia in a nanosecond and that scared the shit out of me.
My head suddenly shot to the window, noticing a small red Toyota pull into our drive that I instantly recognized as belonging to Chloe. With all the years I'd spent stalk- I mean observing Mia, I'd grown pretty used to searching for that car knowing Mia often car-shared with her.
The gate to our house was already open so Chloe came to a neat stop by the side of the house before starting to park up. In no time at all, she came out with her little brother in hand, and soon enough the doorbell rang out throughout the house.
"I've got it," I called out to my mum.
Marching towards the door, I hurried to open it. Chloe threw me a kind smile as she saw me. "Hey, Ethan."
She had a twinkle in her eye as she spoke. One that scared me. I'd tried to fill her in subtility over text about why I was so desperate to talk to her, and it was obvious she'd gotten the message loud and clear. She was practically smirking at me.
Trying to push the nervousness away, I smiled back. "Hi," I answered politely. Then dropping my eyes downward, I chuckled spotting a blond little boy who was still holding tightly onto Chloe's hand.
"Hey, Mason, how are we doing? Cool hat by the way," I smiled before teasingly dipping down his cap, so it covered his eyes.
He giggled profusely and clumsily reached out to correct it. "Where's Dylan?" he asked while blinking up at me rapidly.
"By the pool with Mum, you can go-"
Before I even finished my sentence, Mason ripped free from Chloe's hand and rushed past me before bouncing his way over to the back doors, in clear search of Dylan.
I snorted in amusement and gestured with a nod for Chloe to come in.
As soon as the door closed, Chloe turned to me and clapped her hands with a smile. "Okay, I'm ready for mission, let's stop Ethan from being an idiot. Let's get started."
Then with a swish of her blonde ponytail, she turned around and started boldly marching her way up the stairs, with a spark of determination to her stride.
I swallowed nervously. Okay, it was official, I was scared.
"No, never, nope. She'll literally run away from you," Chloe snapped bluntly.
Pulling my pen away from the whiteboard in front of me, I turned back with a frown to look at Chloe who was sitting back rather comfortably on my desk chair.
In the last fifteen minutes or so, Chloe had demanded I go over the various plans I had to try and win over Mia. To get into the spirit of things, I'd even gotten one of Dylan's mini-whiteboard roll-out presentation boards, to help emphasize my points.
So far, I was in the middle of drawing and explaining my plan to serenade her by singing to her down the bleachers like Patrick Verona did in 10 Things I hate about you.
"Why not? All the guys in the movies do that kind of shit and they end up with the girl they want," I insisted.
Chloe let out a deep breath, an almost pitying one. "Ethan, trust me, just no," she said bluntly. "It was almost as bad as your original ten-year plan you described to me. Sorry, Ethan, but what about tripping her onto the floor and then kissing her in the hopes she'd fall in love with you, seems like a good idea to you?"
I remained silent, the quietness seaming to deafen the room.
"Move on, draw me, the next," she said as she waved an impatient hand. It was clear the power was starting to her tight blonde pony-tailed head. "Think food, Ethan, food," she said as she continued to swing on the desk chair.
With a sigh, I erased the board, reluctantly. After a second or so, I drew up a rough sketch of a picnic before turning around and jabbing my pen at the drawing. "Boom, take her on a secret date, and cook her up a whole picnic full of all her favourite foods."
Chloe slowly swivelled around to face me, smiling now. "Better," she nodded. "Much better. Maybe you could-"
"Has Mia ever told you she liked me? Or said anything that might imply that?" I interrupted her abruptly. The words even surprised even me as they came off my tongue, but my impatience was starting to overcome me.
Throughout Chloe and I's little game, she hadn't given me one slither of an indication of how Mia was actually going to respond. While I'd told her an embarrassingly large amount of stuff, she'd told me absolutely nothing. She had to know what was going through Mia's head.
Chloe's mouth shut abruptly, and her eyes rocked back and forth between mine in a hesitant kind of way.
"I can't tell you, that's against girl code," she said simply.
I started pacing impatiently before stopping once more to look at her. "Please, Chloe, come on you can just tell me. If I'm about to go out there and tell her everything, it would be super helpful if you could point me in the right direction of whether or not I'm going to be making a fool of myself."
Chloe remained silent for a couple of seconds before once again shrugging. "Sorry, not spilling. And besides, the outcome shouldn't change anything, I'm helping you for your sake, you know, and the truth is your best option, whatever happens," she insisted.
I let out a heavy sigh, annoyed she was deciding to be all moral about this.
Fiddling with my hands, I started to pace some more. "Okay, so I also need some help with the whole wording of how I'm going to tell her. So can you tell me if what I say sounds right and not creepy or scary or anything? Is that alright?" I asked.
"Yeah, of course," Chloe chuckled. "I will tell you if you're creepy."
Clearing my throat, I cracked my knuckles a few more times before turning to look at the wall, trying to imagine it was Mia. It was extremely hard to imagine the cream walls of my room, were anything similar to Mia's face, but god damn it, I tried.
"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just really, really like you. I've always liked you, and that's the only reason I keep kissing you. I was so stupid that day at the cliff, and I backed out like an idiot from telling you that I still loved you. You deserved to hear that, and I'm so sorry for not telling you. So, yeah, I know there's a fair chance you might not feel the same, or knowing you, you might not even believe me," a laugh escaped my lips. "But trust me, it's true."
My thoughts were interrupted by a high-pitched squeal. "Oh my god, that was so cute! Who could say no to that?" Chloe gushed from my chair.
I turned to her with slightly heated cheeks, almost forgetting she was in the room. Her hands were on her cheeks, and dear god, she looked like she was going to cry.
Before I had a chance to respond, there was a loud double knock against the door. It was undeniably aggressive and made both of us jump.
Turning to the door, I eyed it up and down with wariness before I walked closer and gently pulled it open.
Expecting to see my mum, my blood ran as cold as ice as I locked eyes with the person in front of me. All my breath felt robbed from my throat, and all I could seem to do was stare passively at an equally still-looking Mia who stood back staring at me.
The sharp look in her eyes, and how boldly they swirled with new emotion as they looked at me, instantly confirmed to me everything I needed to know. She'd heard everything. She'd heard me tell her I loved her. I think I'm going to be sick.
She looked over my shoulder, her eyes seeming to lock to Chloe's before falling back to me, her eyes even more striking now. It was like she was struggling to process everything.
I pushed back a swallow against my excessively dry throat, wanting the world to suck me under. The look in her eyes said it all. There was no joy, no happiness no smile, she looked horrified. Scratch horrified, she looked like she wanted to run away from me.
"How much did you hear?" I asked slowly. My voice shook with nerves, unable to hide it.
She blinked rapidly, her eyes seeming to grow glossy. "I heard all that I needed to," she snapped tightly. The way her voice cracked, nearly killed me.
I looked her over, once more, my heart hammering away. My eyes rocked between hers, almost frantically. "And...what do you think....," I asked slowly. My voice came out the weakest I'd ever heard.
I'd had nightmare after nightmare about her rejecting me, but none of them could have prepared me for how I felt right now. None of them even came close.
She let out a harsh scoff, and then before I knew it, tears started to spring to her eyes. "What I think?" she cried. Then shocking me, she pushed me back hard, causing me to tumble back a step. "What I think is that you're a disgusting pig, Ethan." My heart stopped, and my eyes stun, my whole body seeming to shake. "How dare you kiss me one day, and then make a move on my best fucking friend the next day," she screamed angrily, tears now starting to stream helplessly down her face.
I stood staring at her shocked, unable to process the rapid appearance of her tears. The broken look in her eyes scared me as did the tears. It dawned on me at that moment I'd never seen her cry before in my life, and the sight hurt so bad it robbed me of all sane thought.
I stared her rapidly up and down, trying to make sense of what was happening, every emotion souring and scratching at me all at once. Kiss her one day? Make a move on her best friend the next day? When the fuck had I done that? What was she-
I froze, horror twisting my stomach. I felt sick once more, finally connecting the dots. Mia had clearly overheard some part of my confession to her out of context and then she walked in on me and Chloe. Alone. After Chloe had supposedly lied to her about being sick. And oh my god....
My eyes widened, panic overtaking me. My heart which was already beating hard practically flew itself into action. "No, no, Mia, you've got it all wrong," I rushed out, practically choking on my words from the speed I wanted to get them out.
I tried to reach for her hand, wanting to calm her down, but she recoiled from my touch, her eyes blazing with rage. With betrayal.
"Don't you fucking touch me!" My eyes burned, tears threatening to burn to them as I processed what she'd thought I had done.
She pushed past me angrily and stopped before Chloe. "And you," she scoffed, glaring down at her. Chloe's eyes were wild and panicked, red overtaking them.
"Mia, listen to me," Chloe begged, her eyes desperate, pleading.
"You want me to listen to you, do you? Why? So, you can feed me more lies about you being sick?" Mia choked out bitterly. "You know, I wouldn't be mad at you if you actually stood up for me and told Ethan to get lost. But you just fucking laughed. You can literally date anyone Chloe, yet you still didn't turn him down. Some friend you are," she scoffed.
I shook my head over and over again, shocked that she could think this.
Chloe seemed to visibly recoil at the words. "You really think I would do this to you...."
Visible tears started to prick in her eyes. I saw hesitation bounce between Mia's eyes but she brushed it away as easily as more tears fell down her face. "I didn't think you would, but clearly, I don't know how much of a bitch you are," she snapped as she furiously wiped the tears away from her eyes.
I could hardly breathe, not even knowing what to say, I was so panicked.
She swung sharply back to face me before I had time to process. "And you're a dick," she snapped as she pushed me back once more.
"You thought you could just use me like your pathetic little slut and lead me on, did you? You were just using me to get closer to Chloe this whole fucking time, weren't you? Did you kiss me to make her jealous? And befriend me to impress her?" she cried in accusation.
I took a physical step back, my eyes burning intensely as I looked at her. She thought I was using her like a slut while I waited for Chloe. How was it even possible for her to think so lowly of herself. In what world would I do that. It hit me like a slap on the face that she thought me capable of doing that.
"No, No, Mia. I would never. You've got it so wrong," I explained frantically. It was obvious fear, was driving her, I could see it flying freely away from her eyes, in a way that scared me.
She looked up at me through blurry vision.
"Fuck you both," she finally spat before turning and storming out of the room.
I stared after her quietly for several seconds before I scrambled to chase after her. She would never talk to me again if I let her leave, and I couldn't let that happen.
She was down the bottom of the stairs by the time I caught up with her, and she looked back at me with a scoff as she reached for the door handle.
"Wait, Mia," I said as I rushed to slam the door back closed and blocked her from the exit.
She looked furious now, angry beyond belief that I was blocking her exit. "I don't want to hear your shitty excuses, Ethan. Can't you just leave me alone? Don't you think you've done enough," she choked out as more tears slid down her cheek...
"Please, Mia," I begged, my voice desperate.
Her wobbling lip tightened, and something changed behind her eyes as though she was readjusting the way she was looking at me. Long gone was the girl who giggled and kissed me, the girl who teased me. In her place was a girl that looked at me as though I reminded her of nothing but pain and wanted me to go away. It was a look that ensured me she'd do anything to get me to go away.
Stepping forward, she stared deep into my eyes, the brown eyes I loved so much spinning at me with a chilling expression.
A harsh chuckle escaped her breath. "I was wrong about you Ethan. You really are your father's son. You're a broken, nasty, violent piece of shit. And if you're not careful, I wouldn't be surprised if you end up just like him," she spat as she looked me up and down with cold, emotionless eyes.
I recoiled away from her, my mind swirling and all air suddenly so hard to breathe.
Locking eyes with her, I searched and searched for the girl I'd seen on the first day of school, the girl with two little braids who wanted to share her skittles with me. The one who threw me cute little notes in class without even knowing me. But I couldn't see her anymore; she wasn't even close. Then digging the nail into the coffin, she smiled, a forced one but nonetheless a smile, and brushed past me to leave.
A coldness rushed over me, a unique one that soured all thoughts. I stared at the closed door silently as it shut, and as the tears that were burning in my eyes, finally spilled, I solidified one deeply chilling new thought.
I never wanted anything to do with Mia Collins, ever again.
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Author's note:
So yeah...hope you enjoyed....
Anyway, fun fact, this was one of the first scenes I definitely wanted in the book when I was originally coming up with a rough draft for the first book. I just realised how many times the guy seems to do the big fuck up in books/films, so I wanted it to be the girl instead for a change.