Ch.37
Seokjin's P.O.V.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Life has been working out pretty well in my opinion. There's been a lot of bumps this year, obviously. We didn't plan to make any new friends, but the gang has taken quite the liking to (F/n) and so have I. She was mainly friends with the first years in the beginning. Especially Jimin's friend, but she's made efforts to befriend all of us. Even Yoongi! He's still rude to her at times though. But as someone whose known him for such a long time, I can see the improvement. She's become an irreplaceable person to the gang. She's also really fun to flirt with since she gets so embarrassed at times. I don't mean any of my flirts. They're all for fun and sometimes I wonder if I should stop. Who knows? Maybe she might actually fall for me.
No, I don't think so. She became really upset with me the night Yoongi was discovered as a traitor. Things have been patched up now. Yoongi has been forgiven and (F/n) is happy to have him back. Everyone is. A lot has happened since the beginning of the school year. We got two new members, Jimin and Jungkook who are incredibly important. Then (F/n) came along, plus all the drama that came with. There was the steroid issue, the rumors, the rival gang, Taehyung's arrest, and then the betrayal of Yoongi. And those are the only problems I'm aware of. But in the end, I'm glad that they're all cleared up. The only thing I'm sad about is that the school year is almost ending. We only have a few more weeks until Yoongi and I graduate. I'm pretty sure he can graduate with me. (F/n) helped him raise his grades thankfully so now I won't graduate alone.
Graduating sounded exciting at first. School would finally be over with and I'd get all this free time. But then I've started to grow more afraid as the date came closer. I hate thinking about it. It makes me want to fail all my classes so I can repeat. The gang is all I have so what I am actually supposed to do when I'm done with school? I never really thought about it. There was always the plan of just staying in the gang, but for how long? It pissed me off to think about it. Especially since there was no way I was going to a university. I mean, I definitely could go to one. The thing is that I don't want to. School isn't for me. The whole point of graduating is to be finally done with school. Not go through two or even four more years of that crap. But how am I supposed to tell that to my counselor?
"Seokjin, are you listening?" The old woman across from me raised her voice. Not enough to yell. Only enough to catch my attention again and break me out of my thoughts. "Do you know what college you want to go to? So far you haven't told us any of your plans."
"I don't know." I shrugged, slouching in my seat. My counselor had called me out of class to have this discussion about my 'future'. Right now, I sat in a surprisingly comfortable chair while she sat behind her large desk. There were multiple photos of her grandchildren on the wall and some of her degrees that didn't matter too much to me. What were they supposed to prove? "Does it really matter? School doesn't end until a few more weeks."
"I see. Now I know SuChin isn't the greatest high school out there, but please try." She smiled at me, the wrinkles around her mouth lifting up. She didn't mind that I had my arms crossed and had the usual moody teenager attitude. "We do care about you and want you to succeed in life."
"...Ms. Hong, I don't think college is for me." I sighed, leaning forward with a serious tone. Her squinted eyes widened and she immediately began to frown.
"Oh Seokjin, don't say that." Ms. Hong looked at me over the rim of her glasses. "I'm sure you just haven't found the right school yet. What are you passionate about? Tell me your passion."
Passion? Sometimes I wished I could be like Yoongi. He has a strong 'I don't give a f*ck' attitude that I wish I was bold enough to pull off. Unfortunately, I can't bring myself to speak sarcastically to my counselor. She had a nice atmosphere around her. It was obvious how family oriented she was which made her office not as intimidating. Ms. Hong is probably the only faculty member at this school that I actually liked. No matter how many times Yoongi cussed at her, she only smiled and calmed him down. Then with me, she felt like she was filling in a strong mother role. Ms. Hong is nice, but the only things that have ever made me feel alive were deals and I can't tell her that.
"I don't know..." I muttered. How painfully lost do I have to be to not know what makes me passionate?
"Well, how about you think about it? It's a tough decision but don't give up. We'll talk about this later." Ms. Hong closed the notebook on her desk. "Okay?"
"Okay."
And that was it. Ms. Hong let me go back to class. Instead of going to class right away, I wandered the halls. It gave me time to think. What exactly did I want to do with my life? All I really want is to stay with the gang, to be happy, and eat well. Also, I'd like people to appreciate my looks around the world if that isn't too much to ask. The further I went down the halls, the more I thought to myself about the beginning for me. When I first joined the gang that is. My home life wasn't perfect back then too, but it was livable. Joining the criminal life style never interested me beforehand. The gang was only three members until I was recruited. Then we became a team of four. Everything was different back then. We didn't have the warehouse yet. I remember it clearly since it was only last year. When I was just a second year.
*~*
It was the middle of my second year. Time was going by painfully slow. While my body was in the classroom, it felt like I was somewhere else. It didn't feel like I was actually attached to my body. This feeling happened a lot. Sometimes I could be walking down the hall to my next class, but I was just watching myself walk by. Things either went by slow or quickly. Either way, it all felt like a dream. Every day I woke up, ate, denied love confessions, and went to bed. Nothing ever made me feel completely together. I was lost. That's when I suddenly felt someone jerk my desk forward. For some reason that instantly pissed me off and I had to say something. When I turned around, it was Min Yoongi. I've known him since middle school.
"What's your deal?" I scoffed. He glared at me with his white hair, messy uniform, and delinquent reputation. The complete opposite compared to me. My hair was brown, my uniform was freshly steamed, and I was known as a heart breaker.
"Can you deal with all the sluts giggling around you? I'm trying to take a nap, but they keep bothering me." Yoongi cracked his back before slouching in his seat again.
"Huh, not my problem." I laughed to see his eyes grow darker. Yoongi was someone people really feared. None of the students ever looked him the eye. Teacher's didn't even bother this guy. It got on my nerves sometimes.
"I can make it your problem," He threatened. Our teacher wasn't paying attention to the class. They were grading paper work while we had to work on a piece of paper. We clearly weren't though.
"Are you trying to start a fight with me?" I raised a brow.
"It'd be nice to make the prince of the school look like the hunchback." Yoongi took off his shoes from his desk. Letting his comment slide, I realized this was our first real conversation. He was already frustrating me so much. There's no way I could ever get along with this guy.
"Whatever. I don't know what to tell you. I can't stop the girls from acting like that." I turned around in my seat. Yoongi laughed in amusement as I heard him clear his throat. What was he going to do? My eyes grew as I heard him shout.
"Seokjin has chlaâ!!!" Yoongi opened his mouth but couldn't finish his sentence. I lunged at him at full force to protect my pathetic reputation. It's not like I cared for the title 'Prince of SuChin'. I just hated the thought of people thinking I had something I didn't.
"Piece of sh*t!" I growled as the teacher yelled at me to get off the white hair. Slowly, I got up as I calmed myself down. Yoongi remained on the floor to prop himself up on his elbows. He laughed, showing a friendly gummy smile that I never thought I would see from a guy like him. His eyes appeared impressed by my actions.
"You actually flung yourself...you're real f*cking crazy, huh?" Yoongi got back into his chair. Somehow, he was entertained by my attempt to stop him.
"Yeah, well..." I shrugged and chuckled. The everyone in class was puzzled. One moment I was attacking Yoongi, the second I was laughing with him. Still, jumping at him did give me a rush of adrenaline.
School eventually ended for the day. While most students were walking home, I made my way to my truck. Technically, I wasn't legally allowed to drive until one more year and this was also my Dad's car. Too bad. He's always too drunk to drive it anyway. He doesn't care about me using it and I've never been caught. My charms always trick people into thinking that I'm too good to do bad things. Good looking people really do have it easy. Getting into my truck, I started driving out of the parking lot. Everything was all fine and good until someone decided to randomly walk across the street. There wasn't even a cross walk!
Beeping my horn at them, I slammed my foot on the break in panic. They had white hair and their uniform sloppily put on. Who else would be causing this much trouble just for fun? Yoongi smirked before making eye contact with me. He was most likely surprised to see me driving. He stood shocked until he realized that I could run him over if I wanted to. Yoongi finished crossing to the other side, glancing at my truck over his shoulder multiple times. He's a strange one alright. Pressing the gas again, I made my way home without random pedestrians throwing themselves in the middle of the road.
The next day of school, my problems with Yoongi didn't stop. He didn't bother me during class. All he did was stare at the back of my head. It was hard to drift off with that strong of a feeling. Class ended, and it was time for lunch. As soon as I could leave, I did. I went down the halls to hear footsteps coming from behind me. Was he becoming a stalker now? Stopping in my steps all of a sudden, I let out a huff to then feel them bump into my back. He's smaller than I thought. Turning around to face him with an annoyed expression, I was shocked to not see someone at my eye level. What I got was a girl shyly holding a pink letter in her hand. Oh sh*t, she's not Yoongi.
"Can I help you?" I asked, my previous frustrations melting away.
"S-Seokjin oppa...I-I made this f-for yoâ" She adjusted her glasses only to get cut off by a certain male. His presence made her become more nervous, her letter almost slipping out of her fingers.
"Are you going to take the whole lunch period just trying to say one sentence?" Yoongi glared at the girl. He ripped the letter from her hands and shoved it into my chest. "He'll read it later. My turn to talk to him."
"Butâ" She frowned as Yoongi growled.
There wasn't much I could do. Sure, I could tell Yoongi off, but how many more pink letters like this did I have waiting for me in my locker? There were plenty of girls just like her, shy and in love. It made me feel bad for not caring, but they all cared for my looks in the end. I don't even know this girl's name to begin with. So in a way, I guess I was kind of grateful for Yoongi telling her to run off. I wish I had the guts to be cold like him, but I just couldn't bring myself to be. She gave me a sad expression, but I winked to make her feel better. She instantly got excited and ran off with a smile. So predictable. Turning my attention to Yoongi, he kept a devilish smirk on his face.
"What's the sudden interest with me? I've gotten plenty of admirers before, but I'd say you're the strangest one." I crossed my arms.
"Choke on a d*ck, I came to ask you about something. A favor," Yoongi clarified as I furrowed my brows.
"You expect me to help you with a favor after those first few words out of your mouth?" I scoffed. "You're really something else, Min Yoongi."
"And you too. I didn't know you could drive, much less own a car." Yoongi grinned.
"What? You care if it's legal or not?" I asked to see him laugh.
"I couldn't care less about something being legal or not." Yoongi rolled his eyes. Soon his voice lowered down to a whisper, "It's a truck so it can hold a lot of weight. Plus, it's black and can hide that way."
"What do you mean?" I truly lost myself in the conversation. Where was he going with this?
"How do you feel about driving fast?" Yoongi questioned. "Are you scared of getting arrested?"
"Can you be less vague?" I sighed.
"Get away driver," Yoongi said. I didn't understand what he meant. Like in the movies? "Come with me."
I didn't know it then, but I'm so happy that I decided to follow him. Even though it was out of confusion. Even when I felt like he was going to possibly kill me and sell my kidneys for a lot of money. We went down the halls together as an interesting pair. SuChin's Prince and SuChin's Angel of Death. Yoongi walked down the halls without a care despite all the students looking at him. They looked away in fear at him and I had to wonder if it ever bothered him. Meanwhile girls were doing double takes when they saw me walking or squealing with their friends. I got a lot of crap when I was a first year from the older students. The male students hated how I stole the attention of a lot of the female population. Luckily, their torment has stopped, and I had a feeling that now that I was associated with Yoongi, all dirty looks from guys will stop. Now people might fear me. That'll be an interesting feeling.
I still didn't know where Yoongi was taking me for lunch. All I knew was that we passed all the seats in the cafeteria. He pushed open a door that led to the outside. That's against the rules, but its not like it matters. No one here really gave a crap anyway. Yoongi shoved his hands in his pockets as I spotted two young boys eating lunch. They were surprised to see my presence and stopped eating. I didn't know whether to sit down with them or not. The white hair next to me stayed standing up with a smirk. It wasn't until one of the boys spoke that the ice was then broken.
"Hi, I'm Kim Namjoon, first year," He said in a clear and strong voice. He nudged his friend to speak.
"I'm Hoseok! Jung Hoseok, also a first year." He grinned at me. It was really infectious actually.
"I'm Kim Seokjin. Second year." I bowed at them to hear Yoongi chuckle.
"We don't use formal language here." Yoongi sat down with them. "Because here, we're all equal."
"Isn't it in our culture to respect the elders?" I joined them on the floor. "I'm '92."
"'93." Yoongi frowned as I jumped in excitement. That meant he had to treat me right for the most part.
"So what's this I hear about being a get away driver?" I asked to see Namjoon glance at the second year next to him.
"You found us a get away driver?" He said in awe.
"Technically, he hasn't accepted, but yes." Yoongi nodded. "Look Seokjin, would you mind helping us out tonight with a deal? You don't have to continue. Just do this one deal with us tonight and then you'll decide."
"Deal?" I furrowed my brows.
"...does he not know?" Hoseok mumbled to his friend.
"Drugs," Namjoon flatly stated. "We sell them for cash."
"What the...you want me to get involved in this?" I turned to Yoongi, only to hear him sigh heavily. My worries were completely valid! Handsome guys like me suffer in prison.
"Just for tonight. Can you do it?" He raised a brow at me.
Biting my lip, I eyed all three of the boys in front of me. Namjoon and Hoseok looked fairly innocent. They didn't have their hair dyed like my classmate or a negative reputation hanging over them. They just looked like average students. Then there was Yoongi who I wasn't so sure could be trusted. But I was bored. School is a waste of time, letters repeat the same words, and home was nothing to run back to. It was just for tonight. That's all they needed from me. Namjoon nervously explained my job on how I just had to sit in a car and wait for them. I didn't have to show my looks or talk to thugs? The job sounded easy enough yet they still depended on someone who could drive a car. Who better than me?
"Why not?" I grinned as they all high fived.
The first years thanked me multiple times. Soon they explained the plan with a lot of joy. It must be hard to be a gang of three members. What if they became four? I liked watching the teamwork they had and being added to the mix no problem made me happy. I didn't really have friends. I had people I could get along with, but this could be something special. Tonight, was planned and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. But it was also exciting. It was a strange feeling to have when you thought about what I was doing. I had to pick up the three members at a park and drive them to a location near a bridge. While they went under, I stayed up on top with my car a good distance away.
When the deal started, I felt like I had nothing to worry about. The job was kind of boring. All I was doing was sitting in a car and waiting. Was the action more fun down there with them? The moon was high up, and my engine was silently rumbling. I leaned against the wheel, feeling like I was watching myself again. Just sitting alone at this random spot. Then all of a sudden, I felt myself get pulled together when I heard Yoongi shouting. Looking out the window, I spotted Yoongi running with a duffel bag with Namjoon and Hoseok behind him. I instantly turned my car closer to them out of instinct. It made their job easier as they all packed inside. Multiple men were chasing after them with angry faces. What did these idiots do!? It was a kind of funny though.
They didn't even have to tell me to hit the gas. I was already speeding out of the location with a lot of adrenaline pulsing through me. Hoseok and Namjoon were bouncing in the back while Yoongi was clutching the bag. He had a large grin on his face as he sighed in relief. I couldn't help but laugh and smile with them. Checking my rear view mirror, I noticed we were getting followed by the guys we did a deal with tonight. I told Yoongi right away and he swore. Namjoon didn't hesitate to give me directions. He told me random roads to take as the car came closer. We kept swerving left and right. I couldn't lose track of them. They were only making me burn my tires from the sharp turns. For some reason, I wasn't upset at the idea of dying tonight. I only felt myself pressing the gas harder and holding the wheel tighter.
We panicked slightly when we heard a gun go off. They luckily missed my car, but the sound echoed throughout neighborhood. People were probably hiding in their houses, nervous at what was going on. Hoseok was squealing anytime it looked like they were going to get a hit on my truck, but they had terrible aim. That's when we saw a police car waiting at a corner to check people's speed. Luckily, I was slowing down just fine but noticed the light was getting ready to turn red. I was going to brake in panic, but Namjoon told me I could make it. Was he serious? Not at the speed I was going at, but he assured me I could do it. That's when I passed the limit line and the light turned red, but I was safe. Meanwhile the other car had to slow down in fear of the cops.
"Holy sh*t..." My jaw dropped as we lost them.
"Nice job thinking on your feet." Yoongi turned to Namjoon who was grinning widely.
"That was so cool! How'd you know he could make it?" Hoseok said with big eyes.
"I've been at this street before. It takes forever for the light to go red." Namjoon chuckled before turning to me. "Thank goodness you kept your cool. You really helped us out there."
"That...was awesome!" I cheered. Having them depend on me made me feel important. Then that rush I just felt? There's no way I could feel that anywhere else! This was amazing. It's so much fun.
"Alright, here's your guy's cut." Yoongi passed Namjoon and Hoseok stacks of money. I was stunned as Yoongi pulled out the same amount and handed it to me as I arrived at the park I had originally picked them up at. "Here's yours."
"For me? Why?" I held the money in shock. This was a lot. It could help me a ton with gas! Lifting my head, I faced all them with confusion.
"You helped us out tonight. So you get your fair share, obviously." Yoongi scoffed.
"Thanks..." I gripped the money tightly. "W-When do you guys have another deal?"
"You want to join us!?" Hoseok grinned.
"Yoongi and I are going to plan that out. You're more than welcome to help us out." Namjoon shook my hand. "I'm the leader so you can always talk to me."
"Well, I'm sure you'll become a greater one with time." I unbuckled myself as I stared at the cash. That's when something popped in my head. "Hey guys, why do cows never have money?"
"What?" Namjoon tilted his head in bewilderment.
"Why?" Hoseok listened intently.
"Because they're always milked dry!" I slapped my thigh. Hoseok joined in the laughter with me. We were loudly enjoying the joke I came up with while Namjoon understood it and only smiled in amusement. Yoongi gave me a look as if he was dead inside. Some people just can't appreciate good humor!
"If everyone knew the Prince made corny jokes like this, you wouldn't be called the Prince of SuChin anymore," Yoongi said as I shook my head.
"I can't hear you over all the laughter my joke got!" I grinned. I think I'm going to take a liking to this gang. I can see a lot of memories and bonds being formed. That's what thrilled me. It made me want to stay for as long as I possibly can.
*~*
I dropped everybody off at their houses. Sadly, I couldn't stay at the warehouse longer since I had to check up on a few things at home. Just the thought of going there makes my whole chest feel heavy. It's better to leave as early as I can and come home as late as I can. Occasionally, I wonder if I should just become roommates with Yoongi at the warehouse. I'm pretty sure we could work out a good living space there. Besides, I'm very good at cooking so maybe he'll actually eat healthy food instead of just convenience store food. Ever since he stayed with (F/n), he looks healthier which makes everyone in the gang happy. Driving onto my street, my shoulders sink as I park in the driveway. It's not like I'm going to be here for more than an hour.
Exiting the truck, I slammed the car door and opened the front door to my house. As soon as I stepped inside, my nose was greeted by the stench of sweat and alcohol. It made me want to vomit when I was younger, but I've grown accustomed to it. It's barely noticeable. I closed the door behind me and sighed. It was hard to see in this place. All the blinds were down for one specific reason. Taking off my shoes and sliding on my slippers, I went over to a window and let the light in. Right away, a body on the couch began to move. What a surprise. I thought he was passed out on the kitchen table. No, instead he was sprawled out on the couch with a bunch of food crumbs and an empty bottle of vodka. His eyes opened wide then shut tightly together as he groaned.
Some sights were enough to make me want to burn this house down. Just to have it all be over with. The bottle slipped off his fat stomach and hit the floor. He continued to toss around on the couch with his hangover probably beating heavily in his head. This time I didn't have time to help him get better. He can die of alcohol poisoning for all I care. Finally, he adjusted to the light entering the messy house. Many empty shot glasses and half empty bottles of alcohol covered the table. Stacks of newspaper sat on the couch as well as recent receipts from the liquor store. How disgusting can a human get? The man's blood shot eyes landed on me with rage.
"Close the blinds!" He shouted, his voice raspy.
"It was too dark to walk in here." I huffed, stepping over trash to get to my room.
"Ungrateful child! You close the blinds right now!" He barked. "Don't you have any sympathy?"
"You're closer to the blinds. You do it. I don't see you having broken arms." I scoffed. "And how can I be sympathetic when you're the one who made yourself this way?"
"Aish, you can starve to death! You're nothing but selfish!" He grabbed a shot glass and threw it in my direction. Quickly ducking, I held my arms over my head as the glass shattered against the wall. "You think other f*cking parents would want to be your father!? HUH!? ANWSER ME!"
"...no..." I mumbled as he panted heavily, falling back down into his seat.
"Now close the d*mn blinds already you useless piece of sh*t," He grumbled, finding an unopened beer can on the floor.
Dragging my feet as much as I could towards the blinds, I shut them and blindly made my way to my room. All I needed was to check up on things and go to bed for the next day to come sooner. It wasn't worth it. I hate it here. I should just run away to the warehouse. But then there's always something that makes me want to stay here. Leaving my bedroom door, I knock on my parent's room. It's practically just my mom's room since he stays out most of the time. Her voice tells me to come in. Once I step into the room, my eyes adjust to the light as I see my younger sister playing with her toys. She's still in primary school. Then my eyes landed on my mother who looked so incredibly weak. Shutting the door behind me, she stared at me with pursed lips.
"Are you hungry?" She asked.
"No, I'm already ate with my friends." I shrugged. "Are you okay though, Eomma?"
"I'm fine. I'm always fine." She chuckled as Jiwoo looked up at me.
"Oppa!" She waved her small hand. We had a large age gap since she wasn't planned.
"Hey there." I waved back before turning back to my mom who was silently watching her drama. "Eomma...you said you would get him to stop passing out."
"I'm trying." She gritted her teeth. "I don't see you doing anything but angering him."
"Just divorce him already! You deserve better thanâ" I frowned as she got up from her bed.
"Seokjin, why are you trying to ruin this family!? We can't divorce, are you crazy!? I wouldn't survive out there with Jiwoo all alone." Mom huffed. "We could be such a happy family if you just stopped with your nonsense."
"Happy family? I'm the crazy one? Jiwoo spends most of her time in her since thatâthat thing! Is always out there drinking! We could be happier, but you don't understand!" I shouted as Jiwoo pretended not to hear. She was used to this unfortunately. Mom never saw things my way.
"If you're hungry and need food, I'm here. If you need your mother then I'm here," She said, "But if you come here just to say your father is nothing but a drunk then you don't deserve our family name."
"Do you think I want to be related to that thing?" I scoffed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Seokjin, he was fired from his third job. He's having a rough time. Why can't you just find it in your heart to forgive him for the rude things he says?" Mom asked. "He doesn't mean them. And stop calling him 'thing'!"
"He doesn't deserve to be forgiven." I grabbed the knob of the door.
"Fine, then go ahead! Get lost! Jiwoo here at least appreciates her father! She understands what family is!" Mom turned her head to Jiwoo who was watching us fight. "Go back to playing!"
"I'll be back, Jiwoo." I frowned as she nodded.
Stepping out of the house, I tried not to scream until I made it back into the truck. That's when I released the loudest shout of frustration I could possibly muster. This has been my life since middle school. Nothing has changed since then. It was night by now, but my parents didn't care if I came back at midnight or five in the morning. All the others were back at home except for Yoongi. Putting the car in reverse, I drove off to the warehouse again to talk to somebody who would understand. Yoongi hasn't seen his parents since he became a first year when he made the choice to run away. He lived hidden at that park we used to go to. Then when Taehyung found the warehouse, he moved there. Licking my dry lips, I turned towards the street of the warehouse. It didn't take long for me to hop out and go inside to see Yoongi pulling out a cigarette as he laid on the couch. When his eyes landed on me, he stopped.
"Something happen?" He asked as I stopped in my steps. Letting out a heavy sigh, I told him what he probably expected.
"Parents..." I looked down.
"Let's talk outside." Yoongi got up from the couch, putting away his cigarette in his pocket again.
He turned me around and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we stepped outside. The air was cold, but bearable. We went over to my truck and pulled the tail gate down to sit on it. There, we stared up at the stars and I got some things off my chest. Stuff I didn't want to burden the other members with. They had their own crap too, but Yoongi always listened to my crap. It was either him or Jimin. One who has been through something similar and the other was a very understanding friend. Yoongi sat with his legs crossed while mine hung off the tail gate.
"He's still drinking a lot," I started. "My mom doesn't know how to stop him and refuses to see it as a problem. She still thinks we're a family while Jiwoo just hears all of this. She's only in third grade."
"He's not going to change," Yoongi said.
"I know that." I closed my eyes to feel the breeze hit my face. The giant wheat field across from us swayed backwards. Crickets were being loud as the moon rose higher in the sky. "But my mom..."
"She might, but you can't force her to change. It's gonna be tough for her to realize it." Yoongi cracked his neck. "Ah, you should mainly focus on your sister and yourself."
"Do you think I should run to the warehouse?" I turned to him as he chuckled.
"I wouldn't be as lonely." He grinned. "But Jiwoo?"
"That's my problem." I faced the sky again. "I always come home just to check if she's safe. He can throw as many shot glasses as he wants at me. As long as he leaves her alone."
"I get that..." Yoongi frowned, his eyes falling down to the ground. He understood the feeling of being protective over a younger sibling. At least he used to.
"Then my counselor talked to me today." I leaned forward, clasping my hands together.
"About your 'future'?" He rolled his eyes. "I'm done with school. Ms. Hong can tell me all kinds of crap, but I'm done."
"...I'm done too. But I don't know at the same time." I nervously began to rub my knees. "I just feel lost when I think about leaving the gang."
"Don't," Yoongi instantly replied before sighing. "No...do what you feel is right. I know school isn't for me, but you actually have a chance for something. Whatever that might be."
"I just don't want to go to a university for no reason. I need it to have purpose." I shrugged, falling back onto the bed of the truck.
Yoongi nodded his head in agreement as he stretched his arms over his head. We stayed silent as the sky slowly moved with time. The cold was getting through my jeans and light sweater. But I preferred freezing than to go back now. Jiwoo was safe with mom since she was actually loved. Mom has grown a distaste for me as the 'home wrecker' for my opinions. Then the thing can't stand the sight of me. That feeling is strongly mutual. Yoongi eventually fell back with me, staring at the sky with no real reason. It's not like I knew constellations. They were just random dots in the sky to me. My future wasn't for certain but Yoongi knew he was done. So what did he have planned?
"So are you staying with the gang or going to work right away?" I asked him. He stayed quiet for a while.
"The gang," He tiredly mumbled. I should have figured that would have been his answer. He just didn't say it as quick as I thought he would.
"Will you always stay with the gang? What happens when it's all over?" I frowned. "What are we gonna do when the gang ends?"
The thought hurt a lot. It punched a hole where my heart was supposed to be. Just imagining it, I already felt pain heavy in my chest. If we ever separated, I wanted to stay in touch with every member. There's no way we could all forget each other like that and lose the bond we have with each other. We're family. The gang is all I have and Yoongi felt the same. The question hit him the hardest though. He didn't even know how to answer my question for the longest time. He stared at the sky with his mouth slightly parted. As if all his air was taken away and speaking would hurt him. If my heart was gone without the gang, what did he have left?
"...I don't know..." Yoongi gripped his sweater tightly. I don't know either.