Turning over in the bed I read the blinking numbers before, squinting my eyes slightly due to the brightness.
3:00 AM
The clock read.
I wish I could blame me being wide awake in the middle of the night due to Talia's obnoxious snoring, but after years of sleepovers, I've learned to fall asleep to it.
I knew the reason I was awake had nothing to do with Talia and everything to do with Myles.
The first time I realized I liked Myles was when I was twelve years old.
Our middle school was having a winter dance and I decided to ask my long-time crush Joshua to the dance.
To say I was infatuated with this boy was an understatement, all he had to do was say my name and I was putty in his hand.
I saw the school dance as the perfect opportunity to make my feelings known to Joshua.
I had my mother help me bake chocolate chip cookies to hand over to Joshua the next day and I even made a card asking him to be my date to the dance.
When the time came for me to ask Joshua to the dance I was brutally rejected.
Joshua told how he could never like someone who was darker than him.
At that moment I was taken back to kindergarten when I was told I looked like poop.
I was never insecure about my skin complexion before but hearing it from someone you like, really messed with my self-esteem and planted a seed of doubt within me.
From that moment on I couldn't help be apprehensive about liking someone, wondering if they would even like me because of my dark skin.
I was crushed, but I didn't want to give Joshua the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
I ran out of the lunchroom, throwing the cookies I spent all night making in the trash.
I faked sick to the nurse so she'll call my mom and take me home.
The moment I got home I immediately went inside the treehouse and poured my heart out.
"Jesse are you okay?" Myles asked softly as he approached me.
I was curled up against the couch, my hair a mess, and my face stained with tears.
"No," I sniffled out, snot in my nose from crying for hours.
Myles sat quietly beside me before wrapping his arm around me in comfort.
Shifting slightly I leaned my head against his shoulder relishing in the warmth he provided.
"Myles, do you think I would be prettier if I was lighter?" I questioned my voice shaky.
I heard Myles inhale sharply at my words, though I kept my eyes forward not wanting him to see how vulnerable I felt.
"No." Myles stated firmly his fingers wrapping around my chin.
"You don't need to change a thing about yourself, Jesse, because you are perfect," Myles spoke softly the pad of his thumb wiping my tears away.
His grip on my chin was gentle as he lifted my head to face him.
"Jesse you are the most beautiful, caring, strong, and kind person I know. There is no one in the world like you Jesse, and anyone who can't see that, well it's their loss," Myles spoke gently his eyes shining in admiration.
At his words, butterflies fluttered within my stomach.
My eyes were wide in shock as it was the first time someone who wasn't my family had said that and for some reason when Myles said it I believed it.
"Thank you, Myles, I'm lucky to have you," I replied softly before pulling him to a hug.
"I'm the lucky one,"
Myles whispered against me before pulling me closer to him.
And it was then I knew everything was going to be okay.
I still remember going to school the next and spotting Joshua with a black eye.
When I asked Myles about it, I remember him telling me that he shouldn't have messed with his Twinkle Toes.
From that day on, I had liked Myles and those feelings only grew as the days went on.
Even in the years, we didn't talk a part of me still cared deeply about him.
Though I never tried for anything more than a friendship out of fear of facing rejection and ruining everything.
I believed I could hide my feelings and that one day they'll go away, but I was wrong.
Very wrong
After tonight I knew that what I felt for Myles was beyond anything I've felt before.
I love him.
And I don't think I can go much longer hiding how I felt.
But, before any of that, I knew we still had to discuss our fight.
I knew that I was willing to fight for Myles and I won't let my fears or any ounce of distance stand in the way of that.
With a new sense of determination, I quietly slipped out of bed.
Tiptoeing across the cold tiled floor, I tried to remain as quiet as possible in order to not wake the others up.
I slowly opened the door in an attempt to avoid any creaks.
Though I was caught by surprise when I found the very boy I was thinking about standing before me.
"Myles," I whispered in shock as I closed the door gently behind me.
What is he doing here?
Could he possibly be awake for the same reason I'm awake?
I tried to say something but it seemed I was at a loss for words.
Even in the middle of the night he still manages to look good.
For a brief second my eyes drifted to his plump lips, but I quickly got rid of that thought.
Not now
Remembering what I was going to do, I went to speak once more.
However, before I could get a word out I felt a pair of soft lips onto mine.
Without much thought, I automatically responded.
My body melting against his, my hands finding themselves intertwined into his hair.
The caress of his hands against my bare skin left a burning sensation.
My heart pumped rapidly against its chambers, near combustion.
The kiss initially started off slow and gentle, but it quickly picked up the pace.
My back softly hit the front of the door as the kiss grew more heated.
The once delicate kiss became one of passion and urgency.
It felt as if we were both holding back for so long and we're now releasing all the built-up tension within us.
My mind was clouded with ecstasy as he crushed me against his body, his hands pushing into my curves with desire.
Sadly the kiss had to come to an end with the lack of oxygen becoming more and more apparent.
Slowly our lips detached from one another, though our limbs remained attached.
His forehead connected with my own harsh breaths filling the silent hotel.
My eyes were still closed afraid if I open them I'll find out that this was all a dream.
The feeling of a light kiss on my cheek made a smile break out onto my face.
Slowly opening my eyes I found Myles already looking at me with a heart-stopping grin.
He will truly be the end of me.
For just a few more moments we stood in each other's embrace, smiling at one another.
However, once I fully regained my senses I knew that we had to talk.
"As much as I would love to kiss you again," Myles whispered gently against my lips causing my breath to hitch.
"I think it's best we talk first," He continued slowly pulling away from me.
I nodded in agreement my arms dropping back to my side reluctantly.
Sliding down the door I sat on the floor motioning for Myles to do the same.
Following my actions, Myles sat across from me.
A part of me was grateful for the small distance as it made it easier for me to think properly.
Once again silence loomed over us, neither one of us knowing how to start the conversation, considering we had a lot to discuss.
Deciding I should be the one to speak first, I began.
But, it seemed Myles had the same idea.
"I'm sorry,"
We said at the same time making small smiles break out onto our faces.
"Why, are you saying sorry Myles? You have nothing to be sorry about," I said releasing a sigh as Myles shook his head in disagreement.
"I hurt you, Jesse, something I promised myself I would never do again. I was the one you left, again, when I should've stayed. When I should've told you that no matter what happens I'll always be by your side. And I'm sorry that I didn't do that." Myles said, guilt clouding his eyes.
"Myles you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't hurt me, Myles, I let my fears get in the way and I ended up hurting both of us." I retorted my tone racked with guilt.
"Myles, I'm sorry."
"I should've just talked to you instead of icing you out, you didn't deserve that. I'm so proud of you and I'm happy you get to pursue your dreams, I was just scared tha- that you would end up forgetting about me," I admitted my eyes downcast.
"I could never forget about you," Myles stated confidently causing me to look at him with a small smile.
"I know that now, and I should've known that then."
"One of the things I've always admired about you Myles was your fighting spirit, you always fought for what and who you care for and it's always inspired me to do the same."
"I'm willing to fight, Myles,"
"Fight for us," My tone confident my gaze never wavering from his.
"It doesn't matter whether we're two feet apart or a thousand miles away, all I know is that nothing and I mean nothing will ever pull us apart again," I promised.
"Whatever we have to do whether it's calling each other every night, or taking frequent trips, I don't care, we'll make it work. I'll do whatever it takes because I love you Myles and I know that as long as I have you everything is going to be okay." I finished off biting my lip in anticipation of what he has to say.
I begin to feel my heart plummet as he remained silent.
Is it too late?
"What did you say?" Myles said his eyes wide in shock.
"That everything is going to be okay?" I said slightly confused.
"No, before that," Myles said with a sense of urgency, his body moving closer to mine.
It was then it dawned on me the words I let slip from my mouth.
Did I-
Did I just tell Myles I loved him?
Panic began to settle within me, the fear of rejection bubbling with me.
You just had to let that slip, Jess.
Nice going, I probably just messed everything up.
As I was scolding myself I felt a pair of hands cup my face gently pulling me away from my thoughts.
My eyes clashed with silver ones that were burning holes within me. It was almost as if he could see right through me.
"What did you say," Myles pleaded his breath gently fanning against me.
The need in his voice made me push away my fear.
With a deep breath, I spoke.
"I- I love you, Myles," I confessed my voice slightly shaky.
And with that Myles's lips crashed against my own.
This kiss was different from the other one.
The way his lips caressed against my own.
The soft strokes of his thumb against my face.
The way his movements radiated that of need.
Through this kiss, we conveyed every emotion we felt.
Relief,
Joy,
And love.
"I love you too," Myles said breathlessly as we pulled away from each other.
"Always have and I always will," Myles said as he stared down at me lovingly.
My cheeks hurt from how much I was smiling right now.
He loves me.
Myles loves me.
Tugging on his shirt I brought him closer to me.
Smiles tugged on our faces, joy emanating off of us.
"You know this means you're stuck with me, there's no getting rid of me now," I said cheekily causing his grin to widen.
"I wouldn't want it any other way," He replied making my heart soar with delight.
With one final tug, I pressed my lips against his once more.