My dad, mom, Vince, Dani, and I or what I call the core 5 walk down the pathways of Cal State San Diego behind our young tour guide Melody who is the same size as Dani. While I don't give a crap about this school Vince got an offer which of course means the whole family has to drive 2 hours for a tour, but I don't mind because Melody kind of makes the college interesting.
She's extremely peppy for 11 in the morning on Sunday, but it's kind of breaking the obvious tension between my parents as we walk further onto the campus.
The tension has nothing to do with their divorce, they're way past that, what's keeping them from laughing like their normal selves is their differences in what they want for Vince. My mom wants him to go to the best university and maybe not even play football to focus on his studies. My dad on the other hand wants Vince to pursue his passion for football and focus more on the field then trying to find a major he doesn't care about.
The person who really matters Vince just wants to find a way to balance his studies, football, and trying to find some intimate time with his girlfriend. Hopefully what he chooses to focus on the most is in that order, but by the boring look on his face at the moment probably not.
We've just passed the library where Melody went into detail about how much she loves Jane Austen, and Vince is practically dragging his feet on the floor. I first thought it was because the visitor sticker on his pants is ruining his adidas ensemble, but as we continue the tour I'm guessing it's something deeper.
"You good?" I ask as my parents admire the campus. Vince keeps his eyes on Melody and tiredly tries to run his hands through his hair.
"Yea just not here," he says a little under his breath.
"Then where are you?" I whisper. Melody is about to turn around and stop her tangent.
"In a place where there is no college, and just Vicki and her 17th birthday," he whispers back. Oh right Vicki's birthday is coming up. I knew there was something coming up I just couldn't put my finger on it. Yes, right before thanksgiving break there's golden girl Vicki's birthday.
I pipe up a little bit, "Is there going to be a party?" Vince shakes his head at my response then gives me a little nod.
"Vince are amazing star player are you with us?" Melody interrupts. Vince bounces his head up and plasters a smile on his face.
"Yes yes Melody of course please continue, and I've just noticed that butterfly pin you have on your shirt. Those are my favorite insects by far." With one look Melody's concerned look turns into a smile and Vince's charm has successfully worked again. Boy you know you don't have a favorite insect.
"Oh why thank you Vince did you know there are 24,000 species of butterflies!" She squeals.
"I did not, they're such amazing creatures."
"He gets that from you," my mom jokes quietly to my dad. Vince does get his mood changing smile from my father who regularly claims he was a charmer on the cold streets of the Bronx when he was younger.
Finally the tension between my parents dissolves and Melody spends the next 5 minutes talking about her love for monarch butterflies.
When she redirects herself back to the tour Vince and I don't bother whispering and instead text each other about Vicki's birthday. Since it's their last year in highschool and maybe together Vince can't think of anything good enough to get her. How sweet.
While Melody explains San Diego's history Vince and I debate about anything that could potentially be a gift. We were just about to text Jada and see if she knows what Vicki wants, but Dani snitched on us and my mom snatches our phones. I told Vince to put shit on low brightness, but no he had to go and light up his whole face.
Melody lets us be and gives us all extremely tight hugs when the clock hits 12:00. We get sandwiches from my favorite place on this campus- the cafeteria, and like Ziyah we ignore the many tables and chairs to sit on the grass in the middle of the patio.
"Here," my mom reluctantly says and hands Vince and I back our phones.
"Thanks," we respond simultaneously.
Instead of sitting in a nice circle to enjoy the clear blue sky and beautiful campus we separate into two groups. My dad and Vince, and my mom, me, and Dani. Seconds later Dani moves over with my dad and Vince to finish his food and starts a conversation about where she wants to go to college.
I begin to take bites of my sandwich, and when I'm finished swallowing I look over to my mother.
"What are we going to do after this?" I ask. I'm kind of hoping we can go to the mall and stretch out our legs before driving back home for 2 hours in a squished Mazda. Then again this whole tour we've been basically stretching our legs.
"Driving for 2 hours to get home," she snaps and I do a little pout. She doesn't let me give her a reason to wander around the mall, and continues talking.
"Daya I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, so I'll just tell you I looked through your shit," she takes a look at Vince who is engrossed in a conversation.
"And your brother's."
At first I don't really care and sort of expected that because she knows our passwords, but then I remember my new contact. Oh shit. Next to some spam messages Ziyah was the last person I texted, and since I don't have social media my messages are probably the first app she checked.
We didn't text that much over the ride and the text we did send were just us getting to know some things about each other. By that I mean we just told each other what we strongly dislike. I told him I dislike videos of babies getting their ears pierced and he told me he dislikes face tattoos and to my liking list.
My mom sees my eyes widen and nods, "Mhmm I saw you smiling in your phone during the car ride I knew something was up." Her eyes go right through me and I feel like she already knows every detail.
"How far did you scroll?" Hopefully not to the part where Ziyah admits he's smoking.
"Long enough to know this boy is more than a friend you watch movies with." Weren't you disappointed nothing happened on our date though?
"Mom," I hiss and gesture my head over to Vince and my dad who luckily didn't hear her words. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes a bit, yup I'm in some trouble.
"Don't mom me when were you going to tell me you got a boyfriend?And what is this about him making you feel better?"
"He's not my boyfriend and he just cheered me up on Friday."
"Hmm he cheered you up I wonder how he did that," she laughs to herself.
"No we just watched Seinfeld together," and wrapped his hands around my waist and we made out, after ditching 6th period.
"Your dad and I don't pay for that Netflix subscription for you to be watching Seinfeld with him."
"He was just being nice mom." And I'm pretty sure daddy only pays for Netflix.
"What's the percentage?"
"What?"
"What's the percentage of your brain that Ziyah has taken up since you guys saw the movie in the park?" I take a bite of my sandwich when I realize I'm not satisfied with my answer.
"60 maybe 75," I mutter.
"It should be 30 maybe less because you're focused on being a screenwriter."
"But maybe the percentage is big because I don't have a lot of friends to think about," I argue.
"Or it's big because you think this guy is amazing and going to solve all of your problems."
Damn she's right. I have nothing to rebuttal her claim with so my mother continues. "I'm happy you've found someone to talk to, and from what I saw this boy seems nice, but Daya I need you to not lose yourself. I'm letting you out of my hold. I'm letting my daughter who didn't want to go to any birthday parties in elementary school have a guy in her life and form her first meaningful relationship. All I ask in return is that you remain 100% honest with me."
"Yes mom I promise." Her anger subsides and she brings me in for a hug of guilt because I think I already lost some parts of me.
It's only been about a month since Ziyah and I have become really close, but I know in the last 4 weeks I've definitely changed.