I've decided to keep my anger with Vince at home, well my dad has decided that. He has this rule that has been put in place since Dani and I got into a fight at summer camp some years ago. The rule is pretty simple we're family we act like family in public, at home is where we can yell and hate each other. We're a united front at least to the public which makes us in my dad's words stronger, and is the reason why when Vince and I walk into school today we show no signs of tension and act like nothing in the past few days has happened.
We get to school just before the bell giving us no time to force a conversation and rather head to class, but now it's lunch and I'm 100% sure Vince hasn't said anything to Lucas or Ziyah. The patio is filled with blue and instead of rap music Santa Baby is blaring, but I march to Vince's table.
"What are you doing here?" Vince asks when I get to his table. He's sitting in the middle of the table and to my surprise he wasn't lying last night and Vicki is right by his side along with Jada.
"Hey Daya," Vicki says. She looks beautiful and her glow is completely back which is bittersweet because Vince is the reason. I do a little wave, but my eyes are directed at Vince. Before Vince's whole table can take notice of me and my eyes wander to Chase I give Vince a knowing look and he gets up from his seat.
Vince ruffles Vicki's hair and leaves his cardboard tray of chicken nuggets and his backpack on the table, "I'll be back."
We start walking out of the patio side by side in silence until we reach the hallways and we stop and face each other.
"Where the hell are we going, because after this I'm going to have to get some new chicken nuggets." Well you should've left them on the table.
"They hang out in the middle of the hallway," I mutter and point down the hallway. Vince sighs and we walk down the hallway where some girls sitting against their lockers blush at Vince.
"You're not going to stand by me when I apologize."
"Why not?"
"Because it's emasculating it already looks like my sister is forcing me to end this you don't need to be there and look like my mom." Vince has a point, what would I do while he was talking to them just stand there? Emasculating is a bit too far, but it wouldn't look good for me or Vince. We're not so far from the middle of the hall and sure enough there is Ziyah and his group leaning against the lockers laughing. Ziyah is of course is the only one I see and in my eyes there is a bright spotlight over him. He's not laughing like his other friends and scrolling on his phone,. Without his smirk he is still adorable in his Tupac shirt, and his dreads flutter in front of his eyes and I want to move them, but I can't.
"Daya stop staring and go somewhere." Vince's voice booms and the spotlight on Ziyah turns off.
"Ok," I say. Vince plays with his curls and then makes his slow walk over to them. I don't "go somewhere," and instead hide behind some lockers to look over at Vince approaching the group. Vince's shoulders are back and with his blue football sweater he is the star of the hallway. When he approaches Ziyah's group he has their attention immediately and Lucas stands in front of the group. Ziyah on the other hand doesn't budge and just looks Vince up and down.
"Whatcha watching!" Harper's voice scares the crap out of me and I jump up. I don't bother taking a glance at Harper and her bright lipstick and continue looking ahead. Harper gets the memo and stands behind me with her breath blowing on to my hoodie.
"This looks dramatic as hell." Harper whispers quite loudly. Where is Navia when you need her?
Vince strokes his hair then says something and the group diminishes to just Ziyah and Lucas. Ziyah moves his eyes between his phone and Vince as Lucas has his arms crossed with a mean mug that's similar to the one I got yesterday. Vince doesn't show a sign of nervousness and has his broad shoulders back like my dad taught him. Another one of my dad's rules, stand tall so they won't see you as weak. It doesn't apply to this situation because it would help Vince to look weak. Whatever Vince is saying it's not a threat and it's making Lucas laugh, but not Ziyah. Lucas and Ziyah do a handshake and then Vince sticks out his hand to Ziyah. Ziyah shakes Vince's hand, and Vnce's charm has worked again.
I try to turn away, but Vince sees both me and Harper when he starts walking. "Problem solved, I think your boy is high by the way." Vince gives a nod to Harper and walks off to get those chicken nuggets.
"Daya," Harper whispers.
"You don't have to whisper anymore," I say with a laugh.
"No look." Harper points behind me and I turn around. Ziyah is still leaning against the lockers, but his eyes are right on me. If this was High School Musical we would be running in slow motion until we could be in each other's arms , but it's not. This is Marina High school and we just stare at each other before Ziyah's group comes back and I turn back around to Harper.
I get home and settle on the couch with a paper bag, detangling comb, and scissors. Sawyer and I have the place to ourselves and I can't help, but think about the last time it was like this. The day Ziyah or Sofia rather texted me saying I really like you. I'm watching Doc Mcstuffins and as the stuffed animals sing a song I take out each of my braids. Something about the stuffed dragon singing about how he's not sick anymore makes Sawyer smile in her playpen and me think of Ziyah. Ziyah and him kissing Navia's ex. Before the thought made my stomach hurt, but now it makes me smile. Ziyah made sure I saw him kiss a girl who was gay, in other words he made sure that the girl he kissed was gay and there would be absoultely no feelings there. At least that's what I'm telling myself, he could have some fetish for gay girls or something, but I doubt that.
When I'm done taking out half of my braids and I've put Sawyer in her crib I reward myself by finding Ziyah's number. I deleted our messages so I can't look back on them , instead I begin typing. I delete and type several words that spilled out of my head, but eventually just settle on something small.
Me: I don't know if I should be saying this or if you want to talk to me , but I'm sorry about my brother. I don't wait up on my phone, but when I go to sleep there's no notifications.