"That was tiring," Harper says and removes her heels to flop on her bed.
Harper's family holiday party wrapped up and it was filled with rich people laughing and marveling at The Falims Christmas decorations. As usual my family had to act as sophisticated as possible, hell we were more sophisticated and I actually took the liberty of wearing some lipstick along with my black dress. Since my impromptu date with Ziyah really I just wanted to wear his hoodie, but I texted him through the party so that was enough. Since it's winter break I decided to sleepover at Harper's because In all honesty I miss her loud ass.
"Yeah but the food was great," I say and sit besides Harper. Seriously all of the food that none of the other party goers touched could count as my third Christmas.
Harper sits up and looks over at me with a flimsy smile.
"So you said you would tell me about your date?" Right I did say that when we started talking in the party, but some elderly woman needed to pull Harper away.
"It was amazing we were at the grove-" Harper pops up off of my shoulder and gives me the biggest smile.
"Oh my god did he take you shopping and then you guys ate at Laduree!" She claps her hands together. Of course to Harper the Grove is a mall and not an experience like it is for me. Sure I would love to go to the grove and shop at the luxury stores, but I find sitting in the farmer's market eating pistachios is more fun.
"No he didn't we sat in the farmers market and talked." Harper's smile gets smaller.
"That's it?" She scrunches her face up.
"Well no he gave me his hoodie, and we talked a lot and it was just great," a smile comes across my face at the thought and feelings from that night.
"So he's your boyfriend?" The giddiness that was building up in me disappears and confusion replaces it. Harper's eyes are boring into me and my face is burning up, not in the good way like when I'm talking to Ziyah, but in the way when too many thoughts are crowding my mind. All of these thoughts pertaining to the stigma of highschool relationships. "Daya? Are you ok?"
I get up from Harper's bed and start pacing. My heart rate speeds up and my fist are balled. "What's the point of him being my boyfriend if he's going to be a senior next year and then gone, and then in college with college girls. Highschool relationships don't last and we're going to get tired of each other." I'm about to express so much more of the thoughts that have been keeping me from forming relationships with people, but Harper stops my pacing and places her arms on my shoulders.
"Daya it's going to be okay," she says soothingly. Too bad it's not soothing enough to calm me down.
"And what if he has a bunch of beautiful ex girlfriends." Now tears began to stream down my face and Harper brings me into a hug. I cry on her shoulder and I want to stop becuase this is such a dumb reason to cry that makes me cry more and Harper's dress a little damp. A little while ago I was drinking cider out of a champagne glass and before that I was smiling in Ziyah's hoodie, I didn't even know I had these worries in me, and I wasn't expecting to let them out in front of Harper. When I talk to Ziyah all he makes me feel is good, and his words bury my insecurities and bad memories. When I get home and my mom is all sad and stuck in her room the thought that her sadness is because of her failed relationships takes a shovel down into me and brings my insecurities to surface. Knowing that Vince and Vicki have broken up isn't much help either.
My tears don't last long and Harper and I move onto her bed where my heart rate slows down and my head rests on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry for freaking out," I say. Harper turns her head causing me to list mine off her shoulder.
"Why would you be sorry? Daya we're best friends I'm always here for you," she says. Harper senses the linger of silence and my blank expression. "What, you think because are parents are the reason we're friends I don't care about you?" Her comforting tone has switched to a harsh one and my heart rate speeds up a little more.
"No." Well, I never really thought of Harper as my best friend until I cried on her shoulder, but she doesn't need to know that.
Harper stands up and her bright smile is back. "Good."
We forget those last moments and change into our pajamas which are just oversized shirts, and a dollar forever 21 face masks. We watch Sex and the City and as Harper's eyes concentrate on a sex scene I'm thinking about Harper's words. We've been through naps in preschool, our first state tests in elementary school, middle school crushes, and now our first relationships. I try to plaster a fake smile with her and act too cool for her antics, but I am not the loner I brand myself as and I have one quality friend.
The nudity on the screen is gone and Harper turns to face me. "Daya you know I'm with someone who's a junior I get what you're feeling." She gets up from her laid down position to sit against her headboard and I follow.
"But you're always so happy with Navia and you weren't hesitant at all to make her your girlfriend."
"That's because I'm not worrying about the future and focusing on living in the moment." I've heard that line too many times.
I fiddle with my braids. "I guess that makes sense, and Harper you are my best friend."
"Duh you peed on my mom's fancy carpet we can't go back from that." In my defense it happened while I was 6 and running to the bathroom. I was almost there.
Harper and I spend the whole night watching movies until we fall asleep on her soft rich people mattress where I have the best dreams of walking into a grocery store and eating all of the baked goods.
In the morning after having a full plate of Rosa's scrambled eggs and fruit I go back home and go straight to my two monitors. The deadline of the short film competition still hasn't approached and I've been watching my short film over and over again. It isn't until the fourth replay that I decide to add old clips of me when I was younger. I add the clip of Harper and I running around her pool and the clip of me walking with Dani and Vince when Dani was 2 and had rolls on her thighs. It adds exactly what I needed in the film and after feeling proud I submit it again. I go back to typing on my computer, but stop when I hear little footsteps.
I turn around and standing in my doorway is Sawyer with her hands raised above her head.
"Da- Ya," she whines and starts walking towards me. I scoop her into my arms and put her on my lap making her clap her hands. Before she arrived I was going to play Madmen, but that's out of the question so I put tinker bell on and her mouth goes ajar.
I try to resist it, but like Sawyer I get immersed in TinkerBell, and my eyes only tear away from my screen when my phone rings.
"Off," Sawyer whines and picks up my phone to hand it to me. On it is an incoming facetime call from Ziyah and I smile even though we've never facetimed before. I do a double check of how I look and connect the facetime to my other monitor. I'm not a big fan of FaceTiming because you could fart and then everything would be ruined. Sawyer still looks at the screen with tinker bell, but Dani's eyes wander to the screen where the facetime is connecting. Instead of seeing Ziyah's cute face I see Sofia's and she has a big smile.
"Daya! Oh my god it's a baby is that your baby?" She shouts and Sawyer covers her little ears with her hands.
"Sofia I thought Ziyah stopped letting you on his phone," I say hiding my disappointment. Sofia shakes her head of curls and before Sofia can respond she disappears and I'm now looking at just a ceiling fan.
To my liking I hear Ziyah's voice. "Sofia what did I tell you about taking my phone."
"Sorry Ziyah," Sofia says and the phone flips to Ziyah who's sitting in a chair. He looks cute in a sweatshirt with his dreads flopping around and the cutest way possible.
"Sorry about that," he says and Sawyer tries to extend her hand to touch the screen.
"It's ok," I say and pause Tinker bell.
"This is Sawyer right?" He asks. I nod and his voice sounds just as good through a computer. Ziyah's about to say something, but I see Dani's head pop in. She doesn't take notice that I'm on facetime or feel the need to take Sawyer off my hands and instead she rushes by my side.
"Are you my sister's boyfriend?" she asks and Ziyah lets out a little laugh while I try to keep a smile on my face. So I don't have to look at him I put Sawyer down and she wanders out of the room.
"Yeah," Ziyah says and my cheeks burn all the way up.
"Why are your dreads weird?" She asks cocking her head to the side. Oh my god I'm going to hurt her. Ziyah can't see it in the camera but I kick her in the shin and she loses her balance just a bit.
Ziyah shakes his head and he's smirking. "I don't know."
Dani shrugs and to my liking walks out of the room.
"Can I ask you something?" I say biting my bottom lip.
"I gave you my hoodie, and just confirmed to your sister that your my girlfriend you can ask me anything." There he goes making me feel special. That's probably the longest sentence I've heard Zyah say, but it doesn't matter and I give Ziyah a nod.
"Are you still smoking?" Ziyah's smirk drops, confirming that was none of my business. It's weed, it's not like he's doing ecstasy and for all I know it could be his medication.
"Been sober 3 da -," he stops and there is a noise in the background.
Sofia comes back in the camera. "What does sober mean?Where's the baby?" Ziyah rolls his eyes as Sofia starts checking herself out in the phone.
"Babysitting?" I ask. The fact that he spends time with his niece just makes him more irresistible, which is what I'm sure the girls at school say when they see Vince holding Sawyer or maybe even walking with me and Dani.
"Nah if this were babysitting I'd be getting paid and she would have to listen to me." Sofia scoots right in front of Ziyah and gets way too close to the camera.
"Daya is that Ziyah's hoodie?" She squints into the camera. I turn around and look at Ziyah's hoodie hanging on the back of my door. I give her an awkward nod and she begins to spew questions at me one by one.
After she mentions Santa Ziyah jumps in. "Ayy Ill talk to you later."
"Bye."
"Bye babe," he says so nonchalantly. He called me babe!