I want to cut it all out, all the bad.
maybe if it's bad enough I can start to feel good, to be good.
maybe if I'm all opened up, all that's left is the good?
how can you see the remains of a 17 y/o girl and recall any of the bad ever existed.
id lie there, a child. no plans while she breathed, besides waiting for the last.
I could've gone so much younger, but I'd failed.
I would've succeeded. would I regret it? would i be able to?
I can think back to every thought I've ever had to make harm so beautiful. I can sit and think of the relief I'll feel when I give in. I can do so much more, all to give myself more time to wait. I'm in wait.