Over the past week, Iâve been on the edge of something dark and absolutely nefarious.
The urge Iâve controlled so well ever since I hit puberty has been seeping into my nightmares, my meal time, and my fighting time.
All my time.
It has heightened, magnified, and reached altitudes that even I am unable to shove into the hollowness of my soul.
And the reason is none other than the girl sitting across from me.
The guardian of her hell, Jeremy, allowed her to spend the night in REUâs dorm. Weâre in the apartment she shares with my cousin, the silver angel, and the girl my brother is obsessed with.
Usually, Remi drags me to these nights with a lot of begging and a bribe in the form of fish and chips. Tonight, however, no begging happened.
The fish and chips are nonnegotiable, though.
I take a bite and slap Lanâs hand when he tries to snag a piece.
âStingy bitch,â he mutters under his breath.
âAnd what are you doing here?â Bran asks him from the other side of me after they deliberately put me between them.
âCanât I hang out with my brother and sister and friends?â
âFriends?â Bran tuts, seeming disgusted. âSince when do you have those?â
âI have a friend.â He nudges my shoulder, but I ignore him, so he stares at the opposite side where Cecily and Ava are bickering with Remi while Glyn tries to mediate. âIsnât that right, Ces?â
She stops in the middle of cursing Remi, drags her fingers through her grandma-like hair, and smiles. âSure.â
Iâve gone out of my way to warn her about Landon ever since we were in secondary school. But the chances of her actually listening are slim to zero.
Due to the fact that I only speak when itâs absolutely necessary and after I allow my brain to mull over my words, I notice things. Patterns, lingering gazes, and unresolved obsessions.
Itâs how I knew Glyn was into Killian long before he staked a public claim on her. Hell, long before she admitted it to herself.
Despite her reserved nature, Cecily actually yearns for Avaâs openness and what Glyn has with the Heathensâ psychopath.
She just went the wrong way about it. She still is.
In spite of my warnings.
Cecily is one of the purest souls to ever exist with enough heart to fit the globe. When we were young, she defended me every time someone made fun of me. Not that I cared, but I wonât forget how she told me âIâll protect you, Creigh. Thatâs what friends are for.â
I tried to protect her, too, from the monster on my right, to no avail.
This is why I make it my mission not to get involved in anything that doesnât concern me. People call it heartless; I call it preserving my time.
âSee.â Landon grins at his brother. âI have a friend, so Iâm staying for Cecilyâs beautiful eyes.â
She blushes. I fix her with my signature blank look and she lowers her head.
âIf youâre not leaving, I will,â the nicer of the twins says.
âBran, donât.â Glyn leaves her plate and goes to her brotherâs side, then strokes his arm. âCome on, itâs so rare for us to get together.â
âYou heard our little princess.â Landon pats his sisterâs head.
She makes a face at him and he grins back.
Bran is half convinced but keeps throwing daggers at a terribly amused Lan.
The more they show disgust or any sort of hostility, the more he enjoys tormenting the hell out of them. Just because he can.
Chaos ensues, more talking, more dramatics, more fucking noise.
My gaze fixates on the reason behind my sour mood and the darkness thatâs been slowly but surely occupying my every waking and sleeping moment.
Annika nibbles on some chips as she sits elegantly on the sofa, both legs bent to the side. Sheâs wearing a fluffy pajama set that has a cat on it.
Her hair is gathered in a ponytail with a matching purple band.
A ponytail that Iâve been imagining all the ways I can grab onto it as I throw her down on the nearest surface and mark that flawless skin with red welts. Theyâd look striking against her dewy pale skin.
Sheâd look at me with that tangible fear and maybe tears.
Sheâd be so scared, sheâd cry and beg me to stop, but Iâd do everything except for stopping.
Iâve had these depraved fantasies for the opposite sex ever since I hit puberty, but they were never about a specific woman.
Any female would do as long as she was ready to take the lash of my whips and submit to my chains.
This is the first time Iâve had a face for all those fantasies. And a body Iâve imagined in all positions as my cock pounded and pounded, and fucking pounded until she screamed.
Annika isnât supposed to be the face of my twisted fantasies. I meant it when I tried to scare her away.
Sheâs an innocent girl whoâs not fit for my taste of fucked up.
But then she had the fucking audacity to say that sheâll take a boyfriend. A fake oneânot that it matteredâand will be playing Hollywood with him in front of her brother.
And the little fucking minx also dared to exclude me from her unorthodox arrangement.
She was the one who roamed around me with the perseverance of a bee for weeks on end, suffocating me with her violet scent and blinding me with all the purple. And now, she pretends Iâm not even on the menu?
Not on my watch.
And yes, the change of attitude might have started when I imagined another man touching her and my vision became red. The need for violence scratched and clawed at the surface of my sanity, demanding retribution. And no, it didnât matter that the ones I wouldâve been committing murder against were Remi and Bran.
As if feeling my gaze on her, Annika lifts her head and her glittering blue-gray eyes clash with mine. Theyâre so innocent, so full of life, and it shouldnât be right that I want to fill them with tears. Pleasure tears. Fear tears. I donât give a fuck at this point.
Her pouty lips fall open, probably at seeing whatever emotion slipped to my face, and it takes all my control not to stuff them with my fingers and watch as they quiver.
She swiftly cuts off eye contact and takes over Glynâs mediating position in the never-ending cat and mouse game Remi, Ava, and Cecily like to play.
âCome on, spawn, help me with these crazy cougars,â Remi calls for me for the thousandth time tonight.
I ignore him. Again.
âI swear on my lordshipâs name that Iâm revoking parental rights. Go look for someone else to translate your thoughts without you having to speak.â
âHmph. I can do that just fine.â Cecily lifts her nose into the air. âCreigh and I volunteer at the same shelter and I always talk to the other staff on his behalf.â
What started as a decision on the spur of the moment has become part of my schedule now.
At first, I only went to that shelter to learn more about the doll-like girl whoâs actually a mafia princess but has not one criminal trait in her bones.
The girl treats animals like a mother would treat her baby, for fuckâs sake.
Then I noticed that the more I showed up, the more annoyed she became. And I like getting on her last nerve, catching her glaring at me, or watching me with that puzzled expression.
Besides, many students started volunteering at the shelter soon after I joined. Cecily said itâs because of me and that I should stay.
Who am I to say no to such a great cause?
Itâs been almost a week, and Iâve been going there every single day, deliberately sacrificing my sleeping time.
âSpawn! You have it in you to betray me with this me wannabe? You can try for an eternity to dress like me, walk, talk and act like me. You might be the next best thing, but not quite me.â
âWait. Isnât that Eminem?â Ava asks.
âPoint is, Iâm wounded, spawn,â he says in his overdramatic voice. âAnd here I thought I was your favorite. Now I need to go find me another spawn whoâs willing to follow my lordshipâs teachings. Iâll take candidates starting now. No pushing, I canât accept everyone.â
No one comes forward and he laughs. âDonât be shy. I know Iâm intimidating, but I can be cool as fuck.â
Annika inches forward and opens her mouth. Thereâs a tidbit Iâve learned about her during the time weâve spent together in this unholy group. She doesnât like seeing anyone in a vulnerable state and is always game to sacrifice herself for it.
Either that or sheâs seriously considering Remi for the position of her fake prick.
Iâm not ready to find out which it is. Before any words come out, I say, âYou already have me. Why would you look for someone else?â
âRight!â He points at me with a laugh. âI knew I was still your favorite and no attempts from the crazy cougars will be able to tear us apart. Hear that, nerd? You mean .â
âAnd you think you do?â Cecily throws right back.
Ava holds out both hands. âTime out! Ces, donât you think we have something more important to discuss, especially now that everyone is here?â
âOh, right, of course.â Cecily sits beside Annika and Ava takes the other side. âWeâre gathered here today for an important reason thatâs a bit more pressing than choking the life out of Remi. Our friend, Anni, needs someone to pretend to be her boyfriend for enough time to convince her family not to arrange a marriage for her. Whoâs up for it?â
Annika stares at me with wide eyes and I narrow mine. I specifically told her to erase this idea out of her head, and by association, out of Cecilyâs and Avaâs heads.
âNo funny business in the fake dating.â Ava points a finger at my cousin. âIâm talking about you, Remi.â
âDefine funny business, love.â He grins mischievously, and I can feel that tension rising in my compressed throat.
The darkness shimmers from the background, threatening to devour everything in its wake.
âNo, youâre out,â Cecily tells Remi. âLike, totally out.â
âWhy the hell are you the one who decides that? It should be Anni! From the potential candidates present, Iâm the most handsome, duh, and would make the best boyfriend material.â
âYour arrogance is astounding.â
âThanks, my lady.â
âThat wasnât a compliment, Remi.â
âWhatever. All Iâm saying is that the girl of the hour should choose. Out of everyone present, who do you want to be your fake boyfriend, Anni?â
Her eyes meet mine again, bright, so fucking bright that itâs blinding. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, chewing, biting, waiting.
My jaw tightens as other images fill my mind. All of them start with her trapped beneath me with no way out.
There wonât be any nibbling or chewing. Thereâll be slapping, throwing, choking, flogging, gagging, fucking, fucking, and more fucking until I tear her tiny little cunt.
The fuck is wrong with me lately?
She releases her lip, all red and plump from how much she bit on it. âIf heâs willing to help, and itâs in no way an obligation, of course, but if I had to choose, itâd be Brandon.â
My fist tightens on the fork and Iâm surprised it doesnât snap in two from the ferocity of my grip. My jaw flexes and my muscles stiffen until Iâm no different than a rock.
The only thing stopping me from hauling her onto my lap right at this moment is the knowledge that I would break her skin. No doubt about it.
The clever little minx avoids my gaze completely, knowing full well that she fucked up.
But she doesnât know to what extent.
Annika just unleashed the last bit of control Iâve been conjuring for weeks.
My soul craves the darkness and thatâs exactly what Iâll give it.
âIâm sorry to say this, but you have a terrible taste in men, Anni.â Remi flips his hair back. âBut then again, my lordship was never meant for fake anything.â
âIâm honored you chose me.â Bran smiles. âIâd be happy to helpââ
Heâs cut off when I stand up abruptly. This time, Annika looks at me with terrified eyes.
The right eyes.
I donât say a word as I turn around and leave.
She can have her fun all she wantsâor think she is.
It wonât matter one bit once I have her at my mercy.
One thingâs for certain. Iâll keep my promise.
Annika Volkovâs pain will be mine.