"What are you going to do now?" Yeonjun asks. Both of us are at the top of the mountain that San, Woojin, and I usually come to.
The only difference is now, even though San had texted me that Woojin and he would meet me up at the mountain, they were not there. And my phone was dead so I am not sure if he texted me any change of plans.
"What is the time? Do you have San's number?" I ask. The chances are less that he has San's number but San is the class representative so maybe for official purposes he may have it or maybe they are there in the same class texting group.
I am shooting in the dark. I don't know what to expect.
But I am thankful that I have Yeonjun here with me.
I did not expect him to offer me a ride. I even declined when he first offered but he insisted and it was pretty late. He agreed to buy wait when I said I needed to buy ice cream as well. And when I thought he was about to drop me at the bottom of the hill and go his way, he offered to drive to the top.
And now he was standing by the edge with me waiting for San and Woojin to show up.
He seems more relaxed than he usually is. This is probably the most relaxed I have seen him. He was even humming a while back.
I am not sure what exactly is happening.
And I am not sure why I am allowing this to happen either.
I sit on the bench, tired of standing and he mimics me but each of us is sitting at the opposite edge of the bench.
He pulls out his phone and searches through what I am assuming is his contact list and then shakes his head. "No, I don't. Your alien device is dead again, isn't it?" he taunts and I scowl.
"Here, you can pick one" I offer him the bag of ice cream. These were going to melt anyway. Might as well eat them now instead of wasting them.
"There is no mint-choco here," he says after looking through the items inside the bag. I roll my eyes at him.
"It is convenient to store ice cream. Choose one or don't" Just when I am about to pull the packet away from him, he grabs my wrist, stopping me.
"I'll take the corn ice cream" he pulls out the ice cream and forces a smile at me. I take out the orange popsicle and we sit together in silence as we eat our snack.
This is way too awkward for my liking.
"Don't you have anywhere to be?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"I am too high right now to ride my bike. I need to sit down for a minute" he reasons and I look at his red-rimmed eyes and contemplate why was I stupid enough to ride with him when he was under the influence.
"It goes without saying but still, don't say to anyone that you saw me smoke. If the word gets out, I will be in serious trouble" he scoffs out in a small voice and looks away from me as I glare at him.
"You will be in trouble? You will probably get off with a slap on the wrist. I would have been in real trouble. Your family owns the school. I am on a grace scholarship!" I yell.
"My family does not own the school. You don't know anything" he returns my stare and glares at me with equal intensity. He is struggling to glare at me with his eyes drooping but he manages.
"Yeah right? Why would you be in trouble? Please explain to me cause I am having trouble understanding you" I huff out my frustration.
I don't understand why he was here in the first place.
He didn't owe me anything. Even if he did, the chances of him actually returning a favor are less than an iota so why was he here?
Why was he keeping me company?
It surely couldn't be because he was high, right? He drove all the way from the school to here and he seemed fine. The only thing giving away his state is his eyes.
"Either you have been living under a rock or you're deliberately doing this to get a reaction out of me" he bites out and I roll my eyes and throw my hands up in frustration.
"I literally have no idea about what you're talking about!" I shout.
I try to bring my breathing back to normal but is it hard and I am exhaling loudly through my mouth and staring at is not making it easier.
"So you mean to say you've heard so many rumors that are not true but the one thing that is true, you've not heard?" there is suspicion lining his words and I wish I could make him believe me but I know that is a lost cause.
Ever since our first encounter, he has been suspicious of me and there is a part of me that can't blame him for being weary of me but there is another part of me who is just plain tired of being at the burnt end of the stick.
"It is not my job to work through your trust issues. You need to go to a therapist for that. If you don't believe me then fine. Half of the time I don't even know what is happening around me!" I yell and stand up to defend myself.
"Ever since I joined Royals High, I feel like I have been thrust into a completely different world where everyone knows the unsaid rules except me. Ever since you met me, you did not believe me, threatened me, and honestly scared me to death" He is taken aback by my outburst but I continue after a lungful of air.
"Also, I have not had a good first impression on any of the Royals. Can you imagine my luck? I have had the weirdest, most embarrassing first-time encounters with all of you!" I am sure I look hysterical right now.
"And I did not even know who either of you were. Every time I ask someone about any of you, they just tell me not to ask questions and to stay away from you guys. I thought you guys were a big elite group but much much later I found out the five of you were related to the founding fathers of this school! Can you imagine how stupid I looked?" I ask but he remains silent.
"And I know I have been witness to some of your private moments but they were purely coincidental. I don't know why I always end up being in the wrong place, especially when it comes to you" I point at him and I see him visibly flinch.
"I don't understand the extent of your relationship with any of your siblings and anyone really. I never want to pry into your life either. I am sorry for what you're going through but I am not entirely sure what it is though so you have to cut me some slack" I see him relax his tense shoulders a little at my words and it encourages me to continue.
"And I know every time I look like I care about any of it, you glare at me like you're going to kill me but I can't help it okay? I am human! I feel bad watching abandoned kitten videos so of course it is natural for me to feel bad or sad about the matter I have seen you go through. I am sorry for having feelings" I throw my hands up again and breathe hard.
"When I say I don't know something, I mean it. Me saying that does not mean I am indirectly asking you to tell me about it. I want to make that clear. But at least instead of making me out to be a liar, just give me the benefit of the doubt!" I say and huff.
I am breathing hard and trying to calm myself down. I keep staring at him and he just looks at me with wide eyes and a pout on his lips.
"Don't you have anything to say after all that I said?" I demand and he flinches again.
His red eyes are wide and he looks shell-shocked. I am sure he did not expect this outburst from me.
"I-I...I am sorry. I didn't mean to come out as an asshole. It is hard to believe in people when you are the point of gossip ever since you landed in the country" he says in a small voice and the pain in his voice helps me calm down.
It also is a great guilt motivator for shouting at him for the past 10 minutes.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you that way" I apologize and sit down again.
"It's just a lot. I don't know what is going on around me half of the time and every time my intuition tells me to run and stay away from all five of you, I somehow become more entangled with you all" I sigh.
"It's just a lot" I let out a loud breath and looked ahead of me at the city lights. The twinkling of the lights and the night air are working their magic to slowly calm me down.
"Trust me, I understand. I understand what it is like to be uprooted from your life into a completely new one and you don't know what to do or how to do it. You're afraid about every next step because there's an unexplainable fear embedded in your mind that whatever you'll do next is the wrong thing" he shakes his head and it looks like to me that he is talking more to himself than to me.
"I am sorry if I am a jackass sometimes. I am always on my guard because I have had so many people take advantage of my situation and position that I don't know who to trust" He speaks and I am convinced it is the weed talking.
There was no way in hell Yeonjun would be saying all these if he wasn't intoxicated.
"It's okay. Go back to being your usual self. This version of you is weirding me out" I shake my head and he laughs emotionlessly.
"I feel tired and wrung out. I am either a joke, an inconvenience, or just plain leverage. Ever felt that way?" he asks and I open my mouth but I don't have anything to say to him to make the situation better so I close it again.
"Just don't compare me to them. If you say you don't know it all, then I believe you but don't compare me to them. Don't group me with them" he sighs defeatedly. I turn so that I am facing him and he mimics me.
"I didn't even know I was a Choi until 2 years ago" My eyes are wide in shock and he laughs at my reaction.
"Now I believe you about you not knowing about it. But how could you not? I am sure everyone is gossiping about it. They have been ever since I joined this damn school" he huffs and holds his head in his hand.
"I-I-I am not sure what they have been talking about but it was not related to you being..."I just gesture towards him in a vague gesture because what am I supposed to say?
Why am I even having this conversation?
"You can say it. Others do. Even my supposed brother does. I am a bastard. I know it. Sugar coating it won't change it" he bites out and I flinch at his tone.
He looks so defeated and his shoulders are slouched. It looks like he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder
"Yeonjun, I swear I -" I can't finish my sentence. I hear the muffled voices of San and Woojin arguing in the distance.
"Your friends are here" Yeonjun hears the voices too and gets up from his seat. I follow him.
"I should get going" he pulls out his keys and starts walking away from me.
"Hey Yeonjun?" I call out and he turns.
"You know, this is probably the most real conversation we've ever had right?" I say and he smiles.
"Yeah, you've said that before. It's weird how I tell you these things when I usually don't say it to anyone" and with that sentence, he turns his back to me and walks away to his bike.
I see him turn it on and then ride away but all the while, my mind is tuck to his last sentence.
A/n: another reveal. A deep conversation. What do you guys think?