The dinner was pretty uneventful, just the group of people talking about the day, a little bit of gloating from the winning team, and a teeny tiny bit of sulking from Beomgyu's end.
But overall, it was a pretty normal dinner.
Somehow all the normality of it was spooking me out.
"You seem to be deep in some thoughts" Soobin's voice spooked me as I was trying to take a plate of fruits but his reflex were fast enough that the piece of watermelon didn't fall on the ground. He caught it and took a bite.
"Don't creep on me like that. And no I am not thinking about anything" I scold him and put another piece of watermelon on my plate. I think that was it for our conversation but he lingers so I turn to face him.
During dinner he participated in the conversation and overall he seemed normal but he had barely touched his food. Even now apart from that half eaten watermelon, he didn't take anything else for dessert.
"You seem a little deep in your own thoughts, care to share?" I offer.
I had a gut feeling it had something to do with Jia.
"A few things. Nothing I can't handle. I was thinking of taking a stroll out, to help digest my dinner and all. Do you want to join me?"
I hesitated for a moment, glancing around the room.
The others were still chatting and laughing, completely unaware of the undercurrents of tension that seemed to be bubbling just beneath the surface.
If the others noticed his distance, they didn't comment on it or made it obvious. I am sure they had their reasons and the Beomgyu and others were probably deciding on how they will break the news to him.
"So, you in?" He repeats.
Soobin's invitation caught me off guard, especially considering how distant he had been earlier. But the look in his eyesâsomething between sadness and resolveâmade me nod.
"Sure," I said, setting my plate down.
"A stroll sounds nice" I smiled and he reciprocated it even though his dimples didn't show up this time.
We both put our plates down, each grabbing a piece of watermelon and together we slipped out of the dining room, unnoticed by the others.
The night air was cool and refreshing, a welcome change from the warmth of the house. I am sure they kept the indoor heaters on all time to keep it so warm and inviting.
We walked side by side in silence for a few minutes, the gravel crunching beneath our feet as we followed a path that led away from the cottages and toward the beach.
"So, what's really on your mind, Soobin? I can tell something's bothering you" I broke the silence first.
"Multiple things. I am sure given how close you are to Beomgyu and Yeonjun, you might have heard" he shrugged but there was bite to his voice at the mention of Yeonjun.
I couldn't keep doing this. Ping ponging between the brothers had be exhausted. I wish there was someone reasonable who would actually make them sit together in a room and force them to talk to each other so that this spiral of miscommunication and misunderstanding stopped.
I would have preferred it was their parents but Yeonjun's mom passed away and their father and Soobin's mother didn't hold much respect in my eyes anymore for me counting on them.
Also, it wasn't my place to be a parental figure to them but as their friend I had to try to at least mend the strain a little.
Because if this was exhausting for me, I can only imagine what it was like for Beomgyu, Kai and Taehyun, if not the others in their close circle.
"Soobin, if you are going to talk shit about Yeonjun, I suggest we stop our strolls right here. I know you guys have a lot of differences but you both are more alike than you think. And you guys have been through different yet equally disturbing situation" I say and he tilts his head as he studies me.
"You always get defensive when it comes to Yeonjun, why?" he ask, curiosity lacing his tone. He didn't irritation in his words like he usually does when it comes to Yeonjun but plain curiosity, like he was trying to figure something out.
"Because... you always have a accusatory tone whenever Yeonjun comes into our conversation. I don't feel nice when that happens. And just so you know, if Yeonjun does the same thing, I tell him off too" I clarify so that he doesn't feel like I am biased.
"Noted. I will that in mind. It is nice to see someone who sticks up for me even when I am not around. Thank you"Â He nods and doesn't retort.
"Why did you think I would not stick up for you?" I ask.
"I don't know. We didn't start off at the right foot. And let's be honest here, Out of everyone you know here, you are biased towards Yeonjun and Beomgyu" he shrugs and we continue our walk.
"I think you're forgetting San, my childhood bestfriend and also Saehi, she is amazing" I joke and he shakes his head.
"No, I meant among the Royals. It is understandable because you have spent more time with them compared to others. But yeah, good to know you will defend me even if you don't like me that much" he gives me a one sided smile.
We finally reach the beach and he is quick to take off his shoes and sit on the sand. I don't question him and follow his lead.
"That's not true. I never said I didn't like you" I defend and he just gives me a look with a raised eyebrow.
"You know that's not true. Sure there has been a few hurdles in our friendship but I think we are making progress" I say and he smiles, this time his dimples make an appearance and it makes me smile.
"So, coming back to my initial question Soobin. What is bothering you?" I ask and his smiles diminishes.
He stares out at the moonlit water for a few minutes.
"It's Jia," he admitted after a long pause.
"I've been thinking about everything that happened between us, how things ended, and... what she's done since then."
I stayed quiet, allowing him to continue at his own pace. It was clear this wasn't easy for him.
"I am not sure if you know the details or if you've heard the gossips. But it all happened very fast" he sighs and looks questioningly at me.
I just tell me briefs of a few things I got to know but do not go into details. I don't want him to think I was a gossip fiend. And I didn't want to say anything that might hurt him further. However, I completely kept today's encounter from him.
That was something his friend would decide when to tell him.
"I thought it was all over. Whatever happened, I put it past me. And at that time a lot of things changed. I somehow got so tangled in my life that I stopped thinking about her. But then she showed up yesterday and it was like time had stopped when she was gone and it started back up when she entered" he sounded heartbroken.
"It's understandable, Soobin. You went through a lot with her. Anyone would struggle in your situation"Â I felt a pang of sympathy for him.
"Yeah, but it's more than that. It's like... I don't even know who I am with her. We talked last night and it felt like everything that happened in the past was something we could move past and start over. Those words meant a lot to me. It made me feel like I meant something to her" his gaze was fixed on the sea.
I frowned, not liking the sound of that.
"You're more than just what you were to Jia, Soobin. You're my friend. You're Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai's brother and a friend. You're a brother to Yeonjun as well. You're kind and helpful. You're your own person. And you mean a lot to all of us" I reassure him.
He looked at me, his eyes filled with doubt.
"Have you ever been in love?" his question catches me off guard and my cheeks heat up in return.
"No. Believe it or not, the only relationship and love I have experienced are in between the pages of romance novels and love stories" I felt naive, talking about this with him when he was clearly more experienced in this matter.
"Why?" he asks curiously.
I blushed at Soobin's question, trying to find the right words.
"I guess... I just haven't found the right person. Or maybe I'm too scared to let anyone in like that," I admitted, feeling a bit vulnerable.
It wasn't often that I talked about this side of myself.
Soobin nodded thoughtfully, his gaze still on the horizon.
"Love can be terrifying," he said quietly.
"When you open up to someone, you're giving them a part of yourself. And if they walk away, it feels like they're taking that part with them."
I swallowed hard, feeling a pang of empathy for him.
"Is that how you feel about Jia? Like she took a part of you with her when things ended?" I ask him.
He contemplates my question for some time and nods slowly.
"Yeah. And when she was back, I didn't know what to do with all these feelings. Part of me wanted to believe that we can go back to how things were, but another part of me kind of knew that's impossible. But this evening I got a text from her saying that she's leaving and she doesn't want me to contact her again" he fisted his hands at his side and there was a strain in his voice.
I hesitated before speaking again, wanting to choose my words carefully.
"I think... sometimes we hold on to people because they represent a part of us we're afraid to lose. But maybe it's not about getting that part back. Maybe it's about finding new parts of yourself that are even stronger." I speak a small and slow voice, making sure he registers my words.
He turned to look at me, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"You're wise, you know that?"
I laughed softly, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Not really. I just think a lot about things like this. It's easier to give advice than to actually live by it." I shrug and hope it doesn't come out as loser-like as I think.
Soobin's smile grew a bit wider, his dimples making a brief appearance.
"Maybe. But it still helps to hear it." he bumps his shoulder with mine.
We fell into a comfortable silence after that, the sound of the waves lapping at the shore filling the air around us. It was peaceful, almost serene, and I could feel some of the tension in Soobin easing as we sat there together.
After a few minutes, he spoke again, his voice quieter this time.
"You know, I appreciate you, Yuri. You've been a good friend, even when I didn't make it easy."
"You've been a good friend too, Soobin. And I'm glad we're here for each other."Â I looked at him, surprised by his honesty.
"Yeah. Me too" He nodded, his gaze softening as he looked at me.
For a moment, I thought about how much things had changed since I first arrived. How these people, who had once been strangers, had become so important to me. And how, despite all the drama and tension, there was a sense of warmth and understanding between us now.
"I think we're going to be okay," I said softly, more to myself than to him.
Soobin glanced at me, a hint of hope in his eyes.
"Yeah. I think so to" he smiled.
We stayed there for a while longer, just enjoying the quiet and each other's company. The tension in Soobin's shoulders seemed to melt away, and I felt a sense of relief that he was starting to open up.
But then, out of nowhere, a shadow fell over us.
I looked up and saw Yeonjun standing there, his expression unreadable but his eyes focused on me. There was something intense in his gaze that made my heart skip a beat.
"Soobin," Yeonjun greeted, his voice cool as he acknowledged him.
"Yuri" but his eyes never left mine.
AN: Updateeee!!!!! Finally. Sorry I have been MIA. How have you guys been? Tell me what did I miss? Also What do you think of this Chapter?
FYI, this chapter was 4000 words long so I divided this chapter into 2 chapters. What do you think will happen next?